The Curse of Being Social - and trying to get healthy
kjohnson7814
Posts: 2 Member
Like many people on here, I am a social person. I enjoy meeting up with friends, checking out events, and generally just participating in all that my city has to offer. That being said, I tend to cave when offered a drink even though I said I wasn't going to spend money and therefore prevent myself from consuming liquid calories. In addition, I always munch on terrible, fatty, late night foods if I have been out having a few drinks. And, what is worse, is that even if I only have a drink or two, I seem to be feeling off the next day (not hungover in the sense of I am still able to fully function), usually leaving me with craving things like pizza, mac & cheese, and chips and not as motivated to workout hard.
I need motivation to not give into peer pressure, because I still want to be social. I usually will drink club soda with a lemon and tell my friends I drank enough already this week because it seems like a more acceptable answer to them over, I am really trying to get healthy again and drinking gets in the way. Sometimes I feel like when I have said the latter, my friends give me the "oh so you are better than all of us now" look. Also, even when I suggest activities that don't involve drinking, it always gets mentioned as a pre or post option. HELP me stay motivated and social!
I need motivation to not give into peer pressure, because I still want to be social. I usually will drink club soda with a lemon and tell my friends I drank enough already this week because it seems like a more acceptable answer to them over, I am really trying to get healthy again and drinking gets in the way. Sometimes I feel like when I have said the latter, my friends give me the "oh so you are better than all of us now" look. Also, even when I suggest activities that don't involve drinking, it always gets mentioned as a pre or post option. HELP me stay motivated and social!
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Replies
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Maybe you need to reconsider your choice of friends if they cannot comprehend the concept of a social gathering without alcohol. It says more about them than you!0
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In school I used to go to the bar and smoke.
I quit smoking and going to the bar.
Can't say I miss either.
When we change paths in life, some of our friends continue on with us.
Others don't.
We remember them fondly.
And move on.0 -
It sounds to me like you're growing up faster than your friends.
Join some fitness group. Meet new people. Take a class in something that interests you. Whatever. Start participating in activities that don't involve booze and do it with people who don't need to drink all the time.
It's no fun to be sober around drunk people, anyway.0 -
Time to make new friends and see these less often. When I cut way down on my drinking, I experienced the same thing--like they thought I was judging them. People can be self-centered and view your actions as being about them when they're really about you.
Do you have friends who have broken away from the main group? Reconnect with the moms and the alcoholics.0 -
It's tough being social in this crazy hectic modern world of ours, with so many temptations and whatnot. I guess that's just part of being alive. Realize that your friends aren't gonna shun you if you don't eat as much as they do or whatever. They're probably worried what you think of them!0
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I don't drink but many of my friends do. It's just a matter of standing your ground and expecting them to accept it. If you end up saying no but acting all apologetic and humble about it, they won't take you serious and will still try to make you have that drink or two. Tell them no and if they ask for reasons, be honest and explain it to them. If they still don't accept it and try to lead you off the healthy path, turn around and find someone else to spend the night with. Sounds harsh but you have no reason to give in just to fit in.
What I've noticed is hard but important, though, is not to come off as preachy. Whether you don't drink to avoid the calories or because you don't like getting drunk, remember that it's YOUR choice. Don't expect others to make the change with you if it isn't their decision.0 -
Drink water, iced tea, or diet pop if you want to. It's not a big deal. I've never gone out and had anybody comment on my non-alcoholic drink order.0
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Learn to say no.... You need to want to do this for yourself, don't worry about what your friends want to do!
Try to organise catch ups that don't centre around food or alcohol!0 -
How often do you see these friends? As I try to keep my calorie intake through the week fairly low, then I usually do something at the weekends which means eating more/drinking, however, my weekly average intake is still about where my goal is.
Also vodka and diet coke or gin and tonic are fairly low cal drink options.
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You have 2 choices, stay true to your convictions or find new friends that better suit the lifestyle you want to live0
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I just order 1 drink or glass of wine and water or club soda. I slowly nurse the wine and mostly drink the club soda.
I am not about to give up summer socializing with our gang!
We all have different rates of drinking or not drinking at all and no one ever pushes anyone else. It's all about being together!
As far as food, I've learned to eat lightly if I don't have the calories-I might have a salad with protein-dressing on the side or 6 oysters or cocktail shrimp and maybe another appetizer.0 -
I gave up drinking a little over 3 weeks ago and have lost 7 pounds! Here is a link to a "dry July" thread if you would like to join the conversation there...it is really helping me to know that others are doing the same thing I am http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/33255895#Comment_332558950
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Am I late for home room or something? "Oh, my friends won't like me anymore if I don't do what they want."
It sounds like you need to sort out your priorities. Others can't do that for you.
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kjohnson7814 wrote: »Like many people on here, I am a social person. I enjoy meeting up with friends, checking out events, and generally just participating in all that my city has to offer. That being said, I tend to cave when offered a drink even though I said I wasn't going to spend money and therefore prevent myself from consuming liquid calories. In addition, I always munch on terrible, fatty, late night foods if I have been out having a few drinks. And, what is worse, is that even if I only have a drink or two, I seem to be feeling off the next day (not hungover in the sense of I am still able to fully function), usually leaving me with craving things like pizza, mac & cheese, and chips and not as motivated to workout hard.
I need motivation to not give into peer pressure, because I still want to be social. I usually will drink club soda with a lemon and tell my friends I drank enough already this week because it seems like a more acceptable answer to them over, I am really trying to get healthy again and drinking gets in the way. Sometimes I feel like when I have said the latter, my friends give me the "oh so you are better than all of us now" look. Also, even when I suggest activities that don't involve drinking, it always gets mentioned as a pre or post option. HELP me stay motivated and social!
OP these are not friends if they can't accept the fact that you want to better yourself.
But, it is your choice on whether you want to do that.0 -
I always crave junk when I'm drinking! I don't get mean or emotional when I drink, but I don't make good decisions when it comes to food. I'll have the free bar popcorn or chips, if someone wants to share apps...Impaired judgement for sure.0
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You can be social without having to disrupt how many calories you take in a day. Problem may be you're trying to pacify your friends by joining in. You don't have to for them to have a good time.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Motivation is an inside job. YOU need to make a decision to stick to your convictions and either not drink, or make it fit into your allowance.0
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this really isn't about being social, it's about self control. If you can control yourself at home, control yourself when out with friends. Don't order the fries. Or if you do, don't order the ones with cheese and chili on them. Don't order a sugar filled mojito - order a diet cran and vodka, or light beer, then rotate with water. I'd also bet your friends aren't really as interested in your diet as you think they are. Next time they offer up something just say no - and order yourself something that fits in your calories (instead of making excuses) I bet the just move on.0
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No, she doesn't need new friends. It'll work out once she really gets motivated to be healthy.Maybe you need to reconsider your choice of friends if they cannot comprehend the concept of a social gathering without alcohol. It says more about them than you!
Once I started getting serious, I just naturally started drinking less because I wanted to be active and feel good for morning runs and see progress on the scale. I'd rather have soda water than a vodka/soda and I will save calories for wine on occasion.
Hang in there, OP. Fake it 'til you make it. You'll get there. Practice makes perfect.
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I am social and my friends like to drink...that doesn't change as you age...sometimes even the pressure doesn't.
I love to cook good food too like nachos and wings...
All of it in moderation...0 -
It sounds to me like you're growing up faster than your friends.
Join some fitness group. Meet new people. Take a class in something that interests you. Whatever. Start participating in activities that don't involve booze and do it with people who don't need to drink all the time.
It's no fun to be sober around drunk people, anyway.
Yes this ^^^.
I'd rather not go to the Pub (or wherever) at all, just to be sat there nursing a diet coke while watching other people getting "mashed up". No fun at all. Lol
Get socialising in other ways,....maybe join a local Football/Netball team or something. (There are always ads in local papers wanting people).
Maybe go drinking just once, at the weekend.0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »Motivation is an inside job. YOU need to make a decision to stick to your convictions and either not drink, or make it fit into your allowance.
this.
no one has to drink. ever. it's a choice that we each individually make0 -
OP you cannot be honest with your friends? Sounds like its time to get new ones. My friends understand that when we go out I can be DD.0
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It sounds to me like you're growing up faster than your friends.
Join some fitness group. Meet new people. Take a class in something that interests you. Whatever. Start participating in activities that don't involve booze and do it with people who don't need to drink all the time.
It's no fun to be sober around drunk people, anyway.
I disagree with the bold. I have actually had better nights being sober because I was more aware of the funny surroundings.
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Tell them you've converted to Islam and you will never get pressurised again.
It's weird, if you say that you have stopped drinking because of religious reasons people never, evvvvvvver say "go on, just have one drink" and your respect your wishes.
If you say you have stopped drinking because you want to lose weight or health reasons however they lose their minds...0 -
Still not understanding why anybody feels they must offer up a justification as to why they aren't drinking, aren't eating wings, aren't doing/liking/wanting anything. I don't go around explaining to people why I don't play hockey, loathe The Eagles, and would be happy if flip flops were outlawed. The vast majority of people are self-involved enough that they really don't care about your tiny personal decisions. Stop worrying about it and live your life.0
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I am older and don't go out nearly as much as I used to but my husband and I still meet up with friends at a bar at least once a week. I either drink a glass of wine or I drink water with lemon. What I consume is my decision, not my friends'.0
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I have a medical condition which means I shouldn't drink, but one or two won't hurt me so I do on occasions. Because of this, I do get pressured a lot, e.g. "oh, just have one!" but I find the more you say no, the less hassle I'm getting. Also, another tip is to offer to drive and give lifts - no-one minds a non-drinker if they save money on taxi fares!0
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