females lifting heavy get bigger -_-
Kriistabell
Posts: 181 Member
Hi. Let me start with I'm 5'8, 176#, about 26% body fat, and enjoy challenging myself with weight lifting. I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it. My profile pic is from last year when I was 11 pounds lighter and lifting.I'm getting back on track after losing 11 pounds on weight watchers and not liking how my body looked from just cardio and deficit in calories. So, I joined the juice head gym by me because it's cheap and has a lot of great equipment. It's only been a week but I'm really excited and proud of how determined I am and how I feel like I know what I'm doing with my form and what whatever. I'm also following iifym and tracking everything. Ihave already lost 2.2 more pounds in this first week.
That being said, my family is discouraging me because I'm very muscular (with chub on top) and have a larger bone structure (wide shoulders). I have my mother's horrendous arms that run in my family like you wouldn't believe, a naturally xlarge behind, and strong, big, thighs. I've been an athlete through college so I have a lot of strength for a girl. So far I sound gigantic. But, my waist is rather small, and my knees and elbows down are boney. So in short - I'm a bulky girl. I'm not fat but I'm not the kind of girl you say is thin either. I'd like to get smaller overall but keep my proportions for the most part because they make me feel feminine. My family is telling me when regular (petite) girls lift heavy they can look good but not me because I've got a large frame. They are getting in my head and after going to the beach yesterday all I could see were my bulky, non-petite flaws and I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. I'd really love (I really need) some insight on this! Thanks mfps
That being said, my family is discouraging me because I'm very muscular (with chub on top) and have a larger bone structure (wide shoulders). I have my mother's horrendous arms that run in my family like you wouldn't believe, a naturally xlarge behind, and strong, big, thighs. I've been an athlete through college so I have a lot of strength for a girl. So far I sound gigantic. But, my waist is rather small, and my knees and elbows down are boney. So in short - I'm a bulky girl. I'm not fat but I'm not the kind of girl you say is thin either. I'd like to get smaller overall but keep my proportions for the most part because they make me feel feminine. My family is telling me when regular (petite) girls lift heavy they can look good but not me because I've got a large frame. They are getting in my head and after going to the beach yesterday all I could see were my bulky, non-petite flaws and I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. I'd really love (I really need) some insight on this! Thanks mfps
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Btw - when I said I have chub on top, when i flex, my legs and butt become rock solid and if I look really hard I can see a little tricep muscle popping out. My upper abs are visible but the lower ones are covered by my stupid pooch that is very stubborn and was nonexistent until about two years ago.0
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Kriistabell wrote: »Hi. Let me start with I'm 5'8, 176#, about 26% body fat, and enjoy challenging myself with weight lifting. I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it. My profile pic is from last year when I was 11 pounds lighter and lifting.I'm getting back on track after losing 11 pounds on weight watchers and not liking how my body looked from just cardio and deficit in calories. So, I joined the juice head gym by me because it's cheap and has a lot of great equipment. It's only been a week but I'm really excited and proud of how determined I am and how I feel like I know what I'm doing with my form and what whatever. I'm also following iifym and tracking everything. Ihave already lost 2.2 more pounds in this first week.
That being said, my family is discouraging me because I'm very muscular (with chub on top) and have a larger bone structure (wide shoulders). I have my mother's horrendous arms that run in my family like you wouldn't believe, a naturally xlarge behind, and strong, big, thighs. I've been an athlete through college so I have a lot of strength for a girl. So far I sound gigantic. But, my waist is rather small, and my knees and elbows down are boney. So in short - I'm a bulky girl. I'm not fat but I'm not the kind of girl you say is thin either. I'd like to get smaller overall but keep my proportions for the most part because they make me feel feminine. My family is telling me when regular (petite) girls lift heavy they can look good but not me because I've got a large frame. They are getting in my head and after going to the beach yesterday all I could see were my bulky, non-petite flaws and I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. I'd really love (I really need) some insight on this! Thanks mfps
In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.
What is wrong with being "bulky" or looking/being strong? If it makes YOU happy, then that is all that matters. Your family doesn't understand, so like most people who don't...they just talk. Ignore it, and do what makes you happy regardless of the approval of others.0 -
I think you look fantastic in your profile pic, and if that was you "big" from lifting, ignore your family! I'd love to look like you! Also, I love lifting, and while I definitely still have a lot of fat to lose, I love what lifting is doing for my body. And it's so great to make strength gains in the gym!0
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I've been working on getting bulky since 2011. It still hasn't happened.
You need to seek serious mental help. Stop hating your body and embrace what you have.
ETA: What other people think of your body is none of your business and if they say something negative to you that's their problem, not yours.0 -
I'm so sorry that your family is doing that to you!!! You should embrace and celebrate who you are. The great part is that you are definitely not alone. I don't know how you feel about competing in powerlifting, but that would be a great group to associate with. I personally appreciate a women who is strong, lifts and is a bit larger. Anyway before I start rambling, keep doing you and enjoy yourself.0
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heh. dont listen to them.0
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LolBroScience wrote: »In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.
What is wrong with being "bulky" or looking/being strong? If it makes YOU happy, then that is all that matters. Your family doesn't understand, so like most people who don't...they just talk. Ignore it, and do what makes you happy regardless of the approval of others.
I echo this ^ It almost sounds like some jealously coming from your family. You're on your way to being happy, healthy and strong, and I dare say that they aren't any of these? You don't lift for others, you do it for yourself so keep on lifting!
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Honestly, your family sounds jealous and petty. Mine are similar, they are all big women, very 'we love plus sized' kinda women, and I've always wanted to be slim but battled with it my whole life. Even now after losing a lot, they dint acknowledge it and meet my conversations about exercise with 'why do you bother, it's too much effort'. Learn to ignore them and do what makes you happy.
also, women don't get bulky easy! It takes a lot of hours lifting and a very specialised diet to make them look like the big bulky body builders you occasionally see! X0 -
fallfromgracie wrote: »Honestly, your family sounds jealous and petty. Mine are similar, they are all big women, very 'we love plus sized' kinda women, and I've always wanted to be slim but battled with it my whole life. Even now after losing a lot, they dint acknowledge it and meet my conversations about exercise with 'why do you bother, it's too much effort'. Learn to ignore them and do what makes you happy.
also, women don't get bulky easy! It takes a lot of hours lifting and a very specialised diet to make them look like the big bulky body builders you occasionally see! X
I'm so sorry your family does that to you. It does sound similar to the women in mine. My father is very fit, but in a different way than I want to be. He only does yoga and body weight exercises. When he chimes in with what my mom is saying is when I start listening because he's 60 and he can do 20 pushups, then 20 pullups back to back for 3 sets and then can hold a headstand for 5 minutes. So when he speaks I listen, but he makes it seem like his way is the only right way. Thanks for your suppory and I am really sorry your family doesn't give you credit. I know how it feels and it is very hurtful.0 -
Runningman_78 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.
What is wrong with being "bulky" or looking/being strong? If it makes YOU happy, then that is all that matters. Your family doesn't understand, so like most people who don't...they just talk. Ignore it, and do what makes you happy regardless of the approval of others.
I echo this ^ It almost sounds like some jealously coming from your family. You're on your way to being happy, healthy and strong, and I dare say that they aren't any of these? You don't lift for others, you do it for yourself so keep on lifting!
i love being strong. I'm not sure I want to be bulky though. I like some types of bulky but not all so I'm trying to work towards my own goal of being the kind of bulky that would make me happy. I don't know that I get to choose though.
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I've been working on getting bulky since 2011. It still hasn't happened.
You need to seek serious mental help. Stop hating your body and embrace what you have.
ETA: What other people think of your body is none of your business and if they say something negative to you that's their problem, not yours.
Well I'm naturally "bulky" so they are making me question myself. I don't always hate myself but sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel amazing and think I look great. It all changes quickly. I'm very hard on myself and just want to be my own best and I really only care how I look for me. Its more of the fact that my family is telling me I'm not going to achieve what I want by doing what I'm doing.
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Kriistabell wrote: »Runningman_78 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.
What is wrong with being "bulky" or looking/being strong? If it makes YOU happy, then that is all that matters. Your family doesn't understand, so like most people who don't...they just talk. Ignore it, and do what makes you happy regardless of the approval of others.
I echo this ^ It almost sounds like some jealously coming from your family. You're on your way to being happy, healthy and strong, and I dare say that they aren't any of these? You don't lift for others, you do it for yourself so keep on lifting!
i love being strong. I'm not sure I want to be bulky though. I like some types of bulky but not all so I'm trying to work towards my own goal of being the kind of bulky that would make me happy. I don't know that I get to choose though.
You can't change your frame or bone structure, but you can dictate your body composition.0 -
Kriistabell wrote: »I've been working on getting bulky since 2011. It still hasn't happened.
You need to seek serious mental help. Stop hating your body and embrace what you have.
ETA: What other people think of your body is none of your business and if they say something negative to you that's their problem, not yours.
Well I'm naturally "bulky" so they are making me question myself. I don't always hate myself but sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel amazing and think I look great. It all changes quickly. I'm very hard on myself and just want to be my own best and I really only care how I look for me. Its more of the fact that my family is telling me I'm not going to achieve what I want by doing what I'm doing.
Tell them that you don't appreciate their comments. You don't point out things about their bodies, they shouldn't do that to you. I also think that you have a very skewed perception of your own body.0 -
I think you look fantastic in your profile pic, and if that was you "big" from lifting, ignore your family! I'd love to look like you! Also, I love lifting, and while I definitely still have a lot of fat to lose, I love what lifting is doing for my body. And it's so great to make strength gains in the gym!
Thank you. That was when I was 11#less than what I am now. I'm hoping to look like that again which is why I keep it up so I could always see it. I love your confidence btw! I'm working on mine.0 -
Kriistabell wrote: »I've been working on getting bulky since 2011. It still hasn't happened.
You need to seek serious mental help. Stop hating your body and embrace what you have.
ETA: What other people think of your body is none of your business and if they say something negative to you that's their problem, not yours.
Well I'm naturally "bulky" so they are making me question myself. I don't always hate myself but sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel amazing and think I look great. It all changes quickly. I'm very hard on myself and just want to be my own best and I really only care how I look for me. Its more of the fact that my family is telling me I'm not going to achieve what I want by doing what I'm doing.
Tell them that you don't appreciate their comments. You don't point out things about their bodies, they shouldn't do that to you. I also think that you have a very skewed perception of your own body.
I'm going to blame that on my mom. It's no wonder I do. I mean I hope I do. I'm trying to prove to them that they're wrong.
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LolBroScience wrote: »Kriistabell wrote: »Runningman_78 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.
What is wrong with being "bulky" or looking/being strong? If it makes YOU happy, then that is all that matters. Your family doesn't understand, so like most people who don't...they just talk. Ignore it, and do what makes you happy regardless of the approval of others.
I echo this ^ It almost sounds like some jealously coming from your family. You're on your way to being happy, healthy and strong, and I dare say that they aren't any of these? You don't lift for others, you do it for yourself so keep on lifting!
i love being strong. I'm not sure I want to be bulky though. I like some types of bulky but not all so I'm trying to work towards my own goal of being the kind of bulky that would make me happy. I don't know that I get to choose though.
You can't change your frame or bone structure, but you can dictate your body composition.
I hope I'm doing the right thing then
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XavierNusum wrote: »I'm so sorry that your family is doing that to you!!! You should embrace and celebrate who you are. The great part is that you are definitely not alone. I don't know how you feel about competing in powerlifting, but that would be a great group to associate with. I personally appreciate a women who is strong, lifts and is a bit larger. Anyway before I start rambling, keep doing you and enjoy yourself.
Thank you for the support! I'm not sure where to start with competing, or if this is the right time. But thank you for suggesting it, I'll keep it in mind!0 -
if you are eating in a deficit you wont "bulk" up either.0
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CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »if you are eating in a deficit you wont "bulk" up either.
Yeah I'm doing that. i used the iifym formula and just focus on hitting my protein. I'm usually under in fat and carbs so under my daily calorie goal as well.0 -
yeah then no worries about getting "bulky" but your body can and will change and you will get stronger. which are both great things.0
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...What? If you weigh the same, you'll be smaller if more is muscle.
Drop some mass if you think you're big. You have plenty of room for it.0 -
CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »yeah then no worries about getting "bulky" but your body can and will change and you will get stronger. which are both great things.
Thank you. I'm still excited underneath the crap getting in my head0 -
My family doesn't seem to get that and they don't let up. I'm planning to lose at least 11 more pounds. I'll see what I think once I get there and decide what to do. I plan on losing the weight with an iifym diet and by lifting heavy. My family thinks that's absurd and never stops telling me.MamaBirdBoss wrote: »...What? If you weigh the same, you'll be smaller if more is muscle.
Drop some mass if you think you're big. You have plenty of room for it.
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Our society's beauty standards for women are ridiculous. We are all 'taught,' consciously or unconsciously, that smaller (read: weaker), petite women are more attractive because that panders to male insecurity. It's insulting. Get strong, girl! As long as you feel good and comfortable in your skin, that's all that matters. And bodies are malleable. Most things you do to your body can be undone (eventually) if you decide you don't like their effects.
ETA: Also, you probs won't bulk up if you're eating at a deficit. So noooo worries.
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I'm actually very impatient to get to my goal weight because the idea of a recomp or even a bulk/cut sounds so exciting because MUSCLES.
Love what you have, girl. Everyone else is irrelevant.0 -
"My family doesn't seem to get that and they don't let up. I'm planning to lose at least 11 more pounds. I'll see what I think once I get there and decide what to do. I plan on losing the weight with an iifym diet and by lifting heavy. My family thinks that's absurd and never stops telling me."
Families, and many times the parents, push your buttons--right? They know what to say to get into your head. Don't forget it was probably them that set you up to have those buttons to push in the first place by the way you were raised. We all have that. Re-set those buttons.
There is so much more to weight lifting than building muscles and mass. Will it happen? Maybe, for someone like you who may be prone to show muscles, but regardless, you're still female and pre-disposed to NOT become some hulk. But "strength" is something that has so many more benefits than just building those muscles. You are setting yourself up to be able to withstand the normal aging process so much better than someone who is not nurturing their muscles. You are setting yourself up for a much more comfortable life, you'll have abilities for physical movement that will carry you through decades; help you recover from injury faster; help your bones stay strong--there is simply NO DOWN SIDE to lifting weights.
I would almost guarantee you that if you become comfortable, committed, and able to lift weights, that confidence will carry you to a much greater mental and emotional place than where you are now (uncertain, questioning). Strength manifests itself in every aspect of our lives--physical, mental, emotional. Enjoy the ride.
And love your body. Man, now that I'm 53 and seeing the inevitable, I wish I hadn't wasted so much time in my 20's and 30's complaining about my big thighs or my big nose or WHATEVER...all that crap focused about not having a certain look is just that...crap. I'll take my cottage-cheesy thighs any day; they've carried me up Grand Canyon and can haul my butt on a mountain bike for 20+ miles--they're grrrreeeeaattt!!!!0 -
Tell your family to go f*** themselves.Kriistabell wrote: »Hi. Let me start with I'm 5'8, 176#, about 26% body fat, and enjoy challenging myself with weight lifting. I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it. My profile pic is from last year when I was 11 pounds lighter and lifting.I'm getting back on track after losing 11 pounds on weight watchers and not liking how my body looked from just cardio and deficit in calories. So, I joined the juice head gym by me because it's cheap and has a lot of great equipment. It's only been a week but I'm really excited and proud of how determined I am and how I feel like I know what I'm doing with my form and what whatever. I'm also following iifym and tracking everything. Ihave already lost 2.2 more pounds in this first week.
That being said, my family is discouraging me because I'm very muscular (with chub on top) and have a larger bone structure (wide shoulders). I have my mother's horrendous arms that run in my family like you wouldn't believe, a naturally xlarge behind, and strong, big, thighs. I've been an athlete through college so I have a lot of strength for a girl. So far I sound gigantic. But, my waist is rather small, and my knees and elbows down are boney. So in short - I'm a bulky girl. I'm not fat but I'm not the kind of girl you say is thin either. I'd like to get smaller overall but keep my proportions for the most part because they make me feel feminine. My family is telling me when regular (petite) girls lift heavy they can look good but not me because I've got a large frame. They are getting in my head and after going to the beach yesterday all I could see were my bulky, non-petite flaws and I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. I'd really love (I really need) some insight on this! Thanks mfps
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You won't get bulky.
I have extra testosterone due to a medical issue. In spite of that, neither lifting nor moving toward lifting heavier have made me bulkier.
How are you petite at 5'8" with wide shoulders? It sounds like you are just strong and solid. Embrace that and go lift some more heavy things. 0 -
isnt petite anything under 5'4? correct me if Im wrong unless you mean a smaller frame.0
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