females lifting heavy get bigger -_-

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  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Hi. Let me start with I'm 5'8, 176#, about 26% body fat, and enjoy challenging myself with weight lifting. I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it. My profile pic is from last year when I was 11 pounds lighter and lifting.I'm getting back on track after losing 11 pounds on weight watchers and not liking how my body looked from just cardio and deficit in calories. So, I joined the juice head gym by me because it's cheap and has a lot of great equipment. It's only been a week but I'm really excited and proud of how determined I am and how I feel like I know what I'm doing with my form and what whatever. I'm also following iifym and tracking everything. Ihave already lost 2.2 more pounds in this first week.

    That being said, my family is discouraging me because I'm very muscular (with chub on top) and have a larger bone structure (wide shoulders). I have my mother's horrendous arms that run in my family like you wouldn't believe, a naturally xlarge behind, and strong, big, thighs. I've been an athlete through college so I have a lot of strength for a girl. So far I sound gigantic. But, my waist is rather small, and my knees and elbows down are boney. So in short - I'm a bulky girl. I'm not fat but I'm not the kind of girl you say is thin either. I'd like to get smaller overall but keep my proportions for the most part because they make me feel feminine. My family is telling me when regular (petite) girls lift heavy they can look good but not me because I've got a large frame. They are getting in my head and after going to the beach yesterday all I could see were my bulky, non-petite flaws and I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. I'd really love (I really need) some insight on this! Thanks mfps

    In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.

    What is wrong with being "bulky" or looking/being strong? If it makes YOU happy, then that is all that matters. Your family doesn't understand, so like most people who don't...they just talk. Ignore it, and do what makes you happy regardless of the approval of others.

    ^This
    Hi. Let me start with I'm 5'8, 176#, about 26% body fat, and enjoy challenging myself with weight lifting. I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it. My profile pic is from last year when I was 11 pounds lighter and lifting.I'm getting back on track after losing 11 pounds on weight watchers and not liking how my body looked from just cardio and deficit in calories. So, I joined the juice head gym by me because it's cheap and has a lot of great equipment. It's only been a week but I'm really excited and proud of how determined I am and how I feel like I know what I'm doing with my form and what whatever. I'm also following iifym and tracking everything. Ihave already lost 2.2 more pounds in this first week.

    That being said, my family is discouraging me because I'm very muscular (with chub on top) and have a larger bone structure (wide shoulders). I have my mother's horrendous arms that run in my family like you wouldn't believe, a naturally xlarge behind, and strong, big, thighs. I've been an athlete through college so I have a lot of strength for a girl. So far I sound gigantic. But, my waist is rather small, and my knees and elbows down are boney. So in short - I'm a bulky girl. I'm not fat but I'm not the kind of girl you say is thin either. I'd like to get smaller overall but keep my proportions for the most part because they make me feel feminine. My family is telling me when regular (petite) girls lift heavy they can look good but not me because I've got a large frame. They are getting in my head and after going to the beach yesterday all I could see were my bulky, non-petite flaws and I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. I'd really love (I really need) some insight on this! Thanks mfps
    Tell your family to go f*** themselves.

    More importantly ^ this!

    I'm 5'2 and I've heard the opposite, "Muscular petite girls just look bulky/too big," and my response to that is, "LOL KEWL STORY!"

    Just keep in mind most people are f**king morons and have no idea what they are talking about - including family.

    Lol nice. I'm going to tell them Kewl StoryBro. They won't know what to say

    Omg, DO EEETTTT!!!! :laugh:
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Sounds like you have the same body type as I do. Sit down with you family and ask them nicely to never ever ever comment on your body again. It's just not allowed.

    And as everyone says, "big" isn't bad. I think we hear that as women and it eats at those of us who will never be anything but "big" but why, why is it bad? I can reach things in high cupboards, I can carry my 9 year old daughter, I can do manual labor at work, I can eat 2000 calories and still lose weight, really my size is very beneficial. There's no logical reason why women should be small. And yeah, my big shoulders and big rib cage just make my waist look smaller.
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    usmcmp wrote: »
    isnt petite anything under 5'4? correct me if Im wrong unless you mean a smaller frame.
    I might have been using it wrong. I was thinking it meant something similar to dainty

    Well, you aren't. You can either mope about it and let others make you feel bad for your genetics or you can decide to embrace what you have and tell them to mind their own business.

    I got teased about my thick thighs and huge butt for years. I'm not built to be thin or dainty. I stopped trying to fit what others thought I should be and I went out and set a world record for deadlift. They don't tease me anymore.

    Tell your family to stop talking about your body or you'll stop talking to them.

    Omg that's amazing! Congrats!! I'm planning to continue what I'm doing because when I think rationally I think it's the right thing for what it want. My family does get in my head but I've decided to cut them out of my conversations involving fitness. This community is much more knowledgeable and supportive than them and I'm very appreciative for everything that's been said to me here. I had to hear it. Thanks again.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    Sounds like you have the same body type as I do. Sit down with you family and ask them nicely to never ever ever comment on your body again. It's just not allowed.

    And as everyone says, "big" isn't bad. I think we hear that as women and it eats at those of us who will never be anything but "big" but why, why is it bad? I can reach things in high cupboards, I can carry my 9 year old daughter, I can do manual labor at work, I can eat 2000 calories and still lose weight, really my size is very beneficial. There's no logical reason why women should be small. And yeah, my big shoulders and big rib cage just make my waist look smaller.

    Hell yeah for being a "big" woman
    rs_500x282-140112193725-amytinahighfive.gif
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.

    What is wrong with being "bulky" or looking/being strong? If it makes YOU happy, then that is all that matters. Your family doesn't understand, so like most people who don't...they just talk. Ignore it, and do what makes you happy regardless of the approval of others.

    I echo this ^ It almost sounds like some jealously coming from your family. You're on your way to being happy, healthy and strong, and I dare say that they aren't any of these? You don't lift for others, you do it for yourself so keep on lifting!

    i love being strong. I'm not sure I want to be bulky though. I like some types of bulky but not all so I'm trying to work towards my own goal of being the kind of bulky that would make me happy. I don't know that I get to choose though.

    From your profile pic it doesn't seem like you get bulky for a woman, but some women do. I was reading an interview with Serena Williams on her body and she said she never lifts weights because she is bulky enough without them. She does some other type of strength training.

    So, if you feel you get too bulky from weight lifting then don't lift weights. Maybe give your dad's plan a try, or try some other form of strength training. But if you like the way you look when weight lifting, then lift weights and ignore the comments.

    Do what makes you happiest.

    Yeah I'll see what happens. It's far too soon to tell. I'd be sad to stop lifting because I love the challenge, but we will see. Thanks!
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    sarahlifts wrote: »
    You wont get bulky. I only lift heavy and have been eating at a deficit. At one point I was 220 lbs I started lifting at 188 lbs. I am 140 lbs now 5'7

    I wear a size 2. I am not bulky but I am lean.

    Wow you've come a long way. That's amazing! Congrats to you! I'm ok with being a size 7 jeans lol but I'm hoping to just make progress. Lean is my goal!
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it.

    Tell your family to jog the hell on.

    Your family do not own your body. You do. Society does not own your body. You do. Religion does not own your body. You do.

    And as the person with ownership of your body you get to decide what you want it to look and perform like. No one else.

    If you feel comfortable, happy, healthy and like your body you win.

  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    Sounds like you have the same body type as I do. Sit down with you family and ask them nicely to never ever ever comment on your body again. It's just not allowed.

    And as everyone says, "big" isn't bad. I think we hear that as women and it eats at those of us who will never be anything but "big" but why, why is it bad? I can reach things in high cupboards, I can carry my 9 year old daughter, I can do manual labor at work, I can eat 2000 calories and still lose weight, really my size is very beneficial. There's no logical reason why women should be small. And yeah, my big shoulders and big rib cage just make my waist look smaller.

    True that. I do love being strong
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    msf74 wrote: »
    I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it.

    Tell your family to jog the hell on.

    Your family do not own your body. You do. Society does not own your body. You do. Religion does not own your body. You do.

    And as the person with ownership of your body you get to decide what you want it to look and perform like. No one else.

    If you feel comfortable, happy, healthy and like your body you win.

    Thank you!
  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
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    Families are often the most vocal, and critical, even when things are said with the best of intentions. I'm still about 25 lbs overweight, and already my family is started in on the "don't lose any more, you've already lost too much".

    Do what you have to do for yourself and your own body. Let your families comments slide. Say thank you for your concern, but just go on and do your own thing. I would love to have your height/shape. I'm a shortie (5'2), and believe me, i've often lamented of the suckiness of being so short. I can only eat at 1200 calories to lose weight. When I was pregnant, there was nowhere for the babies to go but out because my torso is so short, so I had a huge stomach on each pregnancy, with stretch marks galore.

  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    Families are often the most vocal, and critical, even when things are said with the best of intentions. I'm still about 25 lbs overweight, and already my family is started in on the "don't lose any more, you've already lost too much".

    Do what you have to do for yourself and your own body. Let your families comments slide. Say thank you for your concern, but just go on and do your own thing. I would love to have your height/shape. I'm a shortie (5'2), and believe me, i've often lamented of the suckiness of being so short. I can only eat at 1200 calories to lose weight. When I was pregnant, there was nowhere for the babies to go but out because my torso is so short, so I had a huge stomach on each pregnancy, with stretch marks galore.

    Thank you. I am trying to deal with them better. Congrats on your progress. Your picture looks great! I don't dislike my height. I think short is good but so is tall. I can see what you are saying about being short though. I've never thought of all that. I'm allowed 1900 calories based on my iifym so I grateful for that. I hope you are able to appreciate your height though. Pants probably don't look like high waters on you! Lol and if they're long you can fold or hem them! And I'm sure your pregnant belly was very cute :)
  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
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    Congrats on your progress. Your picture looks great!

    Thank you!
  • Jeffery12p
    Jeffery12p Posts: 2 Member
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    There are many ways to be strong. Your father's method is one but not the only one. Many women worry about becoming bulky but it's not as common as it is perceived to be. Body type does affect how one develops muscle and it's all about seeing how your body reacts to what you do and making adjustments to make your body into what you want. Some people don't fit into "skinny" or "fat". Do what makes you feel good physically and emotionally.
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    Jeffery12p wrote: »
    There are many ways to be strong. Your father's method is one but not the only one. Many women worry about becoming bulky but it's not as common as it is perceived to be. Body type does affect how one develops muscle and it's all about seeing how your body reacts to what you do and making adjustments to make your body into what you want. Some people don't fit into "skinny" or "fat". Do what makes you feel good physically and emotionally.

    Thank you. I do love lifting weights. It makes me happy and I feel strong while doing it and meeting goals
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    I never understand how seeing muscle definition means getting bigger.
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    I never understand how seeing muscle definition means getting bigger.
    My mom will gladly explain it to you lol
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    I never understand how seeing muscle definition means getting bigger.
    My mom will gladly explain it to you lol

    Well I am a visual learner if that helps her explain it more. I'd like to laugh at something that will make no sense.


  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    I never understand how seeing muscle definition means getting bigger.

    It's not an uncommon misconception, even today. Many times, people see women with low body fat percentages as "bulky" because of the muscle definition.
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    I never understand how seeing muscle definition means getting bigger.
    My mom will gladly explain it to you lol

    Well I am a visual learner if that helps her explain it more. I'd like to laugh at something that will make no sense.


    She has zero definition. Does Zumba once a week and eats everything except veggies. Her belly is exceptionally round. It's quite amazing. I think you would learn a lot!
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    PikaKnight wrote: »
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    I never understand how seeing muscle definition means getting bigger.

    It's not an uncommon misconception, even today. Many times, people see women with low body fat percentages as "bulky" because of the muscle definition.

    That is the thing though. Those women are lean. Like that thread before of when Madonna got her muscle definition on. Some posters called her bulky and I was like how little does she weigh. I thing I can throw her with one arm.