Fat goggles

JustChristy79

First, I was out with my husband tonight and some woman walked by & I mentioned that I'd like to get down to about her size. He laughed & said, "You are about her size. Probably even smaller." What?! In my mind, I'd look huuuuge standing next to her!

Then I came home & tried on all the new workout clothes I bought today. Everything is way too big! I'm starting to think my self image is a little off.

Wouldn't be the first time. When I was obese, I didn't think I looked that bad. Then I'd see a picture & be shocked that I was that big.

What the hell do I really look like?! Anyone else have these issues???

Eri0515

I think part of the problem is that we see ourselves in the mirror everyday so we don't see the changes we've made. As if, you could see the old you next to you in the mirror then you would see the big difference. Another part is that if you have been big for a long time your mind has come to accept that as reality. It does take quite awhile to accept the new reality. You'll get there. You have achieved the physical, now onto the mental.
Congrats on your weight loss!

rachelecosse

When I was ~19, I weighed around 10st (about right for my height) I used to look at my thighs and my stomach and my muffintop and quietly hate every inch of myself because I was so fat. So seven years later, when I weighed 18st, I didn't see much difference.

A little while back, I went to h&m very tentatively, knowing I'd lost weight and maybe some of their clothes would fit me now. I picked up a cute sweater in XL, took it to the changing room and... It was too big. So I went and got a Large, pleased as punch, tried it on and... Too big. I bought the medium in both colours out of sheer joy that it fit me. Two months later... Too big! (Though, I think h&m is being at least a LITTLE cavalier with their sizing, as I'm still a solid size 14, which isn't a 'size small' in most people's book.)

Yesterday, as I was walking past the big shiny plate glass wall to get into the gym, I noticed that my favourite cardigan was fitting weird. It was hanging down over my butt, and I couldn't get the sleeves to stay pushed up over my elbows. It honestly looked awful, like I was wearing my mums clothes, and I was totally shocked by how much too big it looked.

So no, you're not alone! I'm still struggling to reconcile the picture of myself in my head with the outside body.

craigheon

Are you taking pictures during your transformation? If not, it's very helpful to do so. Once a month, and then compare... then you'll see the differences!

laurie62ann

Phantom Fat - check out this article. I've lost over 50 pounds and most days when I look in the mirror I still see the "old fat" me.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/t/phantom-fat-can-linger-after-weight-loss/#.VajjTfmbr5w

Becca211H

Yes! I've always been a little bigger than a friend of mine and thought I still was. We recently bought the same shirt in the same size and it was tight on her but fit me fine. It was a weird realization.

Drewlssix

rachelecosse wrote: »

When I was ~19, I weighed around 10st (about right for my height) I used to look at my thighs and my stomach and my muffintop and quietly hate every inch of myself because I was so fat. So seven years later, when I weighed 18st, I didn't see much difference.

A little while back, I went to h&m very tentatively, knowing I'd lost weight and maybe some of their clothes would fit me now. I picked up a cute sweater in XL, took it to the changing room and... It was too big. So I went and got a Large, pleased as punch, tried it on and... Too big. I bought the medium in both colours out of sheer joy that it fit me. Two months later... Too big! (Though, I think h&m is being at least a LITTLE cavalier with their sizing, as I'm still a solid size 14, which isn't a 'size small' in most people's book.)

Yesterday, as I was walking past the big shiny plate glass wall to get into the gym, I noticed that my favourite cardigan was fitting weird. It was hanging down over my butt, and I couldn't get the sleeves to stay pushed up over my elbows. It honestly looked awful, like I was wearing my mums clothes, and I was totally shocked by how much too big it looked.

So no, you're not alone! I'm still struggling to reconcile the picture of myself in my head with the outside body.

Been there, went from 40-42 waist to 38 and decided to go ahead and buy some size 36 for down the road. It turns out that "down the road" was just a few weeks later. Now even my almost new size 36 pants will fall off without a belt! And anything larger is unwearable.

jessiruthica

JustChristy79 wrote: »

First, I was out with my husband tonight and some woman walked by & I mentioned that I'd like to get down to about her size. He laughed & said, "You are about her size. Probably even smaller." What?! In my mind, I'd look huuuuge standing next to her!

Then I came home & tried on all the new workout clothes I bought today. Everything is way too big! I'm starting to think my self image is a little off.

Wouldn't be the first time. When I was obese, I didn't think I looked that bad. Then I'd see a picture & be shocked that I was that big.

What the hell do I really look like?! Anyone else have these issues???

Me, exactly! I cosign everything you said. Now how do we get those goggles off?

vdeepu17

rachelecosse wrote: »

When I was ~19, I weighed around 10st (about right for my height) I used to look at my thighs and my stomach and my muffintop and quietly hate every inch of myself because I was so fat. So seven years later, when I weighed 18st, I didn't see much difference.

A little while back, I went to h&m very tentatively, knowing I'd lost weight and maybe some of their clothes would fit me now. I picked up a cute sweater in XL, took it to the changing room and... It was too big. So I went and got a Large, pleased as punch, tried it on and... Too big. I bought the medium in both colours out of sheer joy that it fit me. Two months later... Too big! (Though, I think h&m is being at least a LITTLE cavalier with their sizing, as I'm still a solid size 14, which isn't a 'size small' in most people's book.)

Yesterday, as I was walking past the big shiny plate glass wall to get into the gym, I noticed that my favourite cardigan was fitting weird. It was hanging down over my butt, and I couldn't get the sleeves to stay pushed up over my elbows. It honestly looked awful, like I was wearing my mums clothes, and I was totally shocked by how much too big it looked.

So no, you're not alone! I'm still struggling to reconcile the picture of myself in my head with the outside body.

You made be laugh girl. Keep up the good work

amy102875

Yes, I still see myself as heavy. I try to keep looking at myself in the mirror every morning for a few minutes to help my brain catch up with the fact that I'm not heavy anymore, lol. Taking pictures helps too.

lthaus

I'm just a guy, but.... at my worst I was 265+.. i'm sitting just over 200 now and if it were not for the clothes falling off, I would not "see" much change at all. I truly Envy you brave folks to get the shots in front of the mirror at your time of decision... cause its much easier to compare two photographs than that picture in the minds eye.

marshmallowsandsnark

This is the story of my life! When I was 11, my aunt, who was obese, called me "thunder thighs" when I jumped into a pool. That was the defining moment for me. I figured she knew what she was talking about -takes one to know one. I had always been taller and bigger-framed than most girls my age, so it kind of dawned on me that "OH! I'm FAT! Now I get it!"

Fast forward to 15/16 YO, still bigger than a lot of my friends, but really only a size 10/12 at 6' tall. Looking back on that, I realize I had a body that most girls would envy.

I met a guy who loved to eat (and ate poorly) and we spent 11 years together and I got heavier and heavier, but looked in the mirror and saw my "old" body, which wasn't reflected in the size of my clothes or the discomfort I felt, but somehow I just didn't see it. He didn't complain and somehow I forgot how to really see myself through my own eyes.

Now I'm over 360 lbs and every time I look in the mirror I think I look smaller than I actually am - and when I look at pictures, I'm MORTIFIED at how big I actually am.

In my minds eye, I've ALWAYS been this big.

It's two things - one, like, the actual visual plane used to see yourself in the mirror affects how you judge your body size. (A photographer explained it to me once, it's literally about visual perspective. Think about how great your selfies are and how horrid the pictures your friends take can be.) And two, yes, the fat goggles, because our brains are good at confusing us.

I judge how I look in pictures because I think it's more accurate.

And I will never stop thinking the line, "I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat."

yusaku02

I have that issue but in reverse. I'm stuck feeling forever small. I'm fairly certain I'm still scrawny as heck but even if I got to the size of The Rock I'd feel like the 148 pound stick I was in high school.

orchidbutterflies

I have a couple of pictures of me at my heaviest from the extremely rare moments I allowed myself to be in a camera's frame. I'm almost 100lbs down from there but I can't see the change. I'm down a size and all my clothing is pretty much too big but I still have so much more to go that when I look at myself that is really all I can see.

Instead I try to notice the weight loss in ways that aren't so directly visual... How chairs with arms don't cut into my thighs quite so much, my shadow is surprisingly slimmer etc
Next week I'm going out to dinner and I can't wait to see how I fit in the booth. I know that before my stomach would practically be cut in half by the table and it wasn't easy getting out!

shrinkingletters

I grew up as an overweight kid up until my late teens/early 20's. To this day I still overestimate my size, how much space I take up, etc.

mareacuda

lilleyn1 wrote: »

This is the story of my life! When I was 11, my aunt, who was obese, called me "thunder thighs" when I jumped into a pool. That was the defining moment for me. I figured she knew what she was talking about -takes one to know one. I had always been taller and bigger-framed than most girls my age, so it kind of dawned on me that "OH! I'm FAT! Now I get it!"

Fast forward to 15/16 YO, still bigger than a lot of my friends, but really only a size 10/12 at 6' tall. Looking back on that, I realize I had a body that most girls would envy.

I met a guy who loved to eat (and ate poorly) and we spent 11 years together and I got heavier and heavier, but looked in the mirror and saw my "old" body, which wasn't reflected in the size of my clothes or the discomfort I felt, but somehow I just didn't see it. He didn't complain and somehow I forgot how to really see myself through my own eyes.

Now I'm over 360 lbs and every time I look in the mirror I think I look smaller than I actually am - and when I look at pictures, I'm MORTIFIED at how big I actually am.

In my minds eye, I've ALWAYS been this big.

It's two things - one, like, the actual visual plane used to see yourself in the mirror affects how you judge your body size. (A photographer explained it to me once, it's literally about visual perspective. Think about how great your selfies are and how horrid the pictures your friends take can be.) And two, yes, the fat goggles, because our brains are good at confusing us.

I judge how I look in pictures because I think it's more accurate.

And I will never stop thinking the line, "I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat."

I feel you so much! I am 6' tall and have always been big... a size 18 since I was maybe 11? The lowest weight I ever remember seeing on a scale was 180 lbs when I was probably 11 or 12. I definitely feel like this is just how I look. I have had several relationships with bad eaters and ended up around a size 24 (330 lbs) years ago. I agree that photos are a huge eye opener. I am 260 lbs now (size 16) and aiming for my wedding weight of 225 by our anniversary in October. My ultimate goal is to see that 180 lbs on the scale again

Need2Exerc1se

I had something similar happen once. I had acquaintance who I always thought I’d like to be as thin as. Then we both happened to be in a picture together and I saw that I was actually a bit smaller than she.

But most of the time I think I look better in the mirror than I do in pictures. It's so bad that my husband tries to not let me see pictures of myself, which is actually fine with me.

aliciasilfies

I absolutely agree with this! I'm only a little shy of 28 lbs down, but I still catch myself worrying if I need a seatbelt extender on the airplane, if someone will be able to fit in the seat next to me on the subway, or even if my tights will fit!

cristical

I think you look small...lol I have the same issue!

happygalah

Yeah it's odd and it takes time to catch up. Picking out clothing way too big and they just fall off and trying a small size and thinking umm a little kid can fit into that and not me and it ends up fitting me perfectly.

jennifer_417

I can go from, "Holy crap I'm tiny!" to "OMG I'm a wildabeest!" in the space of less than a day. I've done this for long enough now that when I swing to either pole, I know all I have to do is wait, that I won't feel that way forever. IDK if that helps, but it keeps me from freaking out so much.

Katleskin

Yes, very much so. 50+ lbs and 4 dress sizes down - the facts/numbers tell me I've lost weight but most of the time I don't see any difference. Don't get me wrong, I'm not all "Ohh, I'm still so fat!", because, honestly, even when I was big, I was happy with how I looked or, more accurately, I wasn't unhappy. Also, I didn't really see how big I'd got, though looking at some old pictures yesterday I definitely *was* fat, to the point where I look like a totally different person. I don't know what clothes size I am either - I've retrained my brain to stop picking up 16s now but I almost never pick up a 12 first time because the idea of me actually officially being a 12 still seems utterly ludicrous.

My Mum was big in her late teens/early 20s then lost it all very quickly (probably too quickly) and has been thin since I've known her. She, however, still views herself as 'a fat girl'. She's easily a size 10, yet whenever we go shopping she still picks up 12/14s. And she always has to have a coat.cardigan on because she thinks she has a big butt (she doesn't!). Sad to think she still has body confidence issues 40 years down the line. I guess growing up 'the big one' (as I did) really does effect how you see yourself throughout the rest of your life.

JustChristy79

Ok, thank you! Glad I'm not the only crazy one!

My wedding dress was a size 18. I've been a size 16/18 since high school. After having four babies, I packed on another 15 lbs. I keep buying clothes that are a large or XL because I hold them up & they look right to me. But I'm definitely a small or medium right now. Haven't been this size since junior high. As a matter of fact, I can (and do) wear my 11 year old daughter's clothes. I look at her & she looks gorgeous & perfectly healthy weight to me. We're actually close in stats. Both 5'9" & I only weigh 7lbs more than she does. I used to weigh less than she did, but I've gained a few pounds. But I'll never believe I look as good as she does. So weird.

lthaus

This morning... My wife showed me her iPhone. She has been taking pictures of me that I simply didn't know existed. So, with that.. I scroll and scroll...and I have to ask... Who is that guy in That picture? I'm confused, it seems just like yesterday back to 2011 ish.. and I was ~240 +- who knows how much. But I just about didn't know it was me...

Now!! I need to go find that shirt...and I may still have those pants, I know I have that hat.. so... Lets see if I can make an after picture just like this one............

Shereewhitney88

rachelecosse wrote: »

When I was ~19, I weighed around 10st (about right for my height) I used to look at my thighs and my stomach and my muffintop and quietly hate every inch of myself because I was so fat. So seven years later, when I weighed 18st, I didn't see much difference.

A little while back, I went to h&m very tentatively, knowing I'd lost weight and maybe some of their clothes would fit me now. I picked up a cute sweater in XL, took it to the changing room and... It was too big. So I went and got a Large, pleased as punch, tried it on and... Too big. I bought the medium in both colours out of sheer joy that it fit me. Two months later... Too big! (Though, I think h&m is being at least a LITTLE cavalier with their sizing, as I'm still a solid size 14, which isn't a 'size small' in most people's book.)

Yesterday, as I was walking past the big shiny plate glass wall to get into the gym, I noticed that my favourite cardigan was fitting weird. It was hanging down over my butt, and I couldn't get the sleeves to stay pushed up over my elbows. It honestly looked awful, like I was wearing my mums clothes, and I was totally shocked by how much too big it looked.

So no, you're not alone! I'm still struggling to reconcile the picture of myself in my head with the outside body.

God, that sounds just like me. When I was in my teens I weight 130-145 pounds and thought I was the biggest person in the world. I thought I was just huge then by the time I got pregnant with my son I had gained 40 pounds from birth control and another 40 during my pregnancy. I ended up being 222 pounds at 5 foot 3 inches tall and literally thought I looked the same. I lost a lot of the weight a couple years ago, got down to 136 pounds and thought I looked the same as I did at 175-180 pounds. My self image is a mess.

Seeyoubabyweight

I do it too! I recently returned from my honeymoon in Mexico and throughout I would be looking at the other ladies and thinking or saying " I wonder how much more work I need to do to look like that". Finally my husband stopped me and asked me what size my new shorts were... When I told him 0, he laughed at me and asked how much lower can I get? In my defence they are old navy sizing, and there is still work to finish my goals, but he is right. I still see myself as I was before choosing to become healthier.

Azurite27

It took me a long time to get used to my size. I still struggle with it a bit. Sometimes at stores I'll still grab what I think is the right size and one down and the one down is the one that fits. Sometimes I look at myself and just see all the fat and other times I think wow I look amazing, how did this happen. For a while I didn't even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. This is a continual process for lots of us, I think, who have always been overweight.

Seeyoubabyweight

JustChristy79 wrote: »

Ok, thank you! Glad I'm not the only crazy one!

My wedding dress was a size 18. I've been a size 16/18 since high school. After having four babies, I packed on another 15 lbs. I keep buying clothes that are a large or XL because I hold them up & they look right to me. But I'm definitely a small or medium right now. Haven't been this size since junior high. As a matter of fact, I can (and do) wear my 11 year old daughter's clothes. I look at her & she looks gorgeous & perfectly healthy weight to me. We're actually close in stats. Both 5'9" & I only weigh 7lbs more than she does. I used to weigh less than she did, but I've gained a few pounds. But I'll never believe I look as good as she does. So weird.

I relate to this as well. After three kids i finally made the choice to put myself ahead and be healthy. I have a 12year old daughter who is the same weight and clothing size as me ( although she may be 1/2" taller, just don't let her know I said that). I actually worry about changing myself much more as I don't want her to think she is anything other than gorgeous, which she is. Curious how you handle that?

tkphotogirl

I thought I was huge when I was 21 and a UK size 10 (US6), because I had been overweight (and teased because of it) as a kid. I always thought I was fat, so I didn't notice when I actually *did* start piling weight on because the image in the mirror looked no different. At my largest I was a UK16-18 (I'm under 5'3"), but only truly saw it in other people's photos.

I then lost all the extra weight and got down to a UK8 which looked really good on me. I'd hold up these tiny clothes and marvel that they were actually my size. I maintained that for a good while, then put on 34lbs over a 3 year period of health issues (details in profile). Right now I'm down to 23lbs overweight, but in my head I feel as big as I did at 60lbs overweight, even though my clothes are saying I'm not (I'm wearing mostly UK12s, some of which are clothes I still had after passing through that size on the way down last time). I have days where I feel I look OK and days where I feel absolutely enormous, and I have absolutely no idea what's accurate.

JustChristy79

@Seeyoubabyweight

I have 3 teenage daughters. One is smaller than me. One is my size. One is bigger than me. I know what you mean. It can be a touchy subject. I just try to stress that my goal isn't a size or number on a scale, it's about being in my best health for myself & for them. : )

erinp523

I have been dealing with this to. Some days I will look at the mirror and see myself as wide. It helps when I have my husband take a picture of me. Looks much different then what I see in the mirror but it really helps.