Fat goggles

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  • Katleskin
    Katleskin Posts: 111 Member
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    Yes, very much so. 50+ lbs and 4 dress sizes down - the facts/numbers tell me I've lost weight but most of the time I don't see any difference. Don't get me wrong, I'm not all "Ohh, I'm still so fat!", because, honestly, even when I was big, I was happy with how I looked or, more accurately, I wasn't unhappy. Also, I didn't really see how big I'd got, though looking at some old pictures yesterday I definitely *was* fat, to the point where I look like a totally different person. I don't know what clothes size I am either - I've retrained my brain to stop picking up 16s now but I almost never pick up a 12 first time because the idea of me actually officially being a 12 still seems utterly ludicrous.

    My Mum was big in her late teens/early 20s then lost it all very quickly (probably too quickly) and has been thin since I've known her. She, however, still views herself as 'a fat girl'. She's easily a size 10, yet whenever we go shopping she still picks up 12/14s. And she always has to have a coat.cardigan on because she thinks she has a big butt (she doesn't!). Sad to think she still has body confidence issues 40 years down the line. I guess growing up 'the big one' (as I did) really does effect how you see yourself throughout the rest of your life.
  • JustChristy79
    JustChristy79 Posts: 156 Member
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    Ok, thank you! Glad I'm not the only crazy one!

    My wedding dress was a size 18. I've been a size 16/18 since high school. After having four babies, I packed on another 15 lbs. I keep buying clothes that are a large or XL because I hold them up & they look right to me. But I'm definitely a small or medium right now. Haven't been this size since junior high. As a matter of fact, I can (and do) wear my 11 year old daughter's clothes. I look at her & she looks gorgeous & perfectly healthy weight to me. We're actually close in stats. Both 5'9" & I only weigh 7lbs more than she does. I used to weigh less than she did, but I've gained a few pounds. But I'll never believe I look as good as she does. So weird.
  • lthaus
    lthaus Posts: 26 Member
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    This morning... My wife showed me her iPhone. She has been taking pictures of me that I simply didn't know existed. So, with that.. I scroll and scroll...and I have to ask... Who is that guy in That picture? I'm confused, it seems just like yesterday back to 2011 ish.. and I was ~240 +- who knows how much. But I just about didn't know it was me... ip55a30ycrs8.jpg

    Now!! I need to go find that shirt...and I may still have those pants, I know I have that hat.. so... Lets see if I can make an after picture just like this one............
  • Shereewhitney88
    Shereewhitney88 Posts: 87 Member
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    rachelecosse wrote: »
    When I was ~19, I weighed around 10st (about right for my height) I used to look at my thighs and my stomach and my muffintop and quietly hate every inch of myself because I was so fat. So seven years later, when I weighed 18st, I didn't see much difference.

    A little while back, I went to h&m very tentatively, knowing I'd lost weight and maybe some of their clothes would fit me now. I picked up a cute sweater in XL, took it to the changing room and... It was too big. So I went and got a Large, pleased as punch, tried it on and... Too big. I bought the medium in both colours out of sheer joy that it fit me. Two months later... Too big! (Though, I think h&m is being at least a LITTLE cavalier with their sizing, as I'm still a solid size 14, which isn't a 'size small' in most people's book.)

    Yesterday, as I was walking past the big shiny plate glass wall to get into the gym, I noticed that my favourite cardigan was fitting weird. It was hanging down over my butt, and I couldn't get the sleeves to stay pushed up over my elbows. It honestly looked awful, like I was wearing my mums clothes, and I was totally shocked by how much too big it looked.

    So no, you're not alone! I'm still struggling to reconcile the picture of myself in my head with the outside body.

    God, that sounds just like me. When I was in my teens I weight 130-145 pounds and thought I was the biggest person in the world. I thought I was just huge then by the time I got pregnant with my son I had gained 40 pounds from birth control and another 40 during my pregnancy. I ended up being 222 pounds at 5 foot 3 inches tall and literally thought I looked the same. I lost a lot of the weight a couple years ago, got down to 136 pounds and thought I looked the same as I did at 175-180 pounds. My self image is a mess.

  • Seeyoubabyweight
    Seeyoubabyweight Posts: 49 Member
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    I do it too! I recently returned from my honeymoon in Mexico and throughout I would be looking at the other ladies and thinking or saying " I wonder how much more work I need to do to look like that". Finally my husband stopped me and asked me what size my new shorts were... When I told him 0, he laughed at me and asked how much lower can I get? In my defence they are old navy sizing, and there is still work to finish my goals, but he is right. I still see myself as I was before choosing to become healthier.
  • Azurite27
    Azurite27 Posts: 554 Member
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    It took me a long time to get used to my size. I still struggle with it a bit. Sometimes at stores I'll still grab what I think is the right size and one down and the one down is the one that fits. Sometimes I look at myself and just see all the fat and other times I think wow I look amazing, how did this happen. For a while I didn't even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. This is a continual process for lots of us, I think, who have always been overweight.
  • Seeyoubabyweight
    Seeyoubabyweight Posts: 49 Member
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    JustChristy79 wrote: »
    Ok, thank you! Glad I'm not the only crazy one!

    My wedding dress was a size 18. I've been a size 16/18 since high school. After having four babies, I packed on another 15 lbs. I keep buying clothes that are a large or XL because I hold them up & they look right to me. But I'm definitely a small or medium right now. Haven't been this size since junior high. As a matter of fact, I can (and do) wear my 11 year old daughter's clothes. I look at her & she looks gorgeous & perfectly healthy weight to me. We're actually close in stats. Both 5'9" & I only weigh 7lbs more than she does. I used to weigh less than she did, but I've gained a few pounds. But I'll never believe I look as good as she does. So weird.

    I relate to this as well. After three kids i finally made the choice to put myself ahead and be healthy. I have a 12year old daughter who is the same weight and clothing size as me ( although she may be 1/2" taller, just don't let her know I said that). I actually worry about changing myself much more as I don't want her to think she is anything other than gorgeous, which she is. Curious how you handle that?
  • tkphotogirl
    tkphotogirl Posts: 245 Member
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    I thought I was huge when I was 21 and a UK size 10 (US6), because I had been overweight (and teased because of it) as a kid. I always thought I was fat, so I didn't notice when I actually *did* start piling weight on because the image in the mirror looked no different. At my largest I was a UK16-18 (I'm under 5'3"), but only truly saw it in other people's photos.

    I then lost all the extra weight and got down to a UK8 which looked really good on me. I'd hold up these tiny clothes and marvel that they were actually my size. I maintained that for a good while, then put on 34lbs over a 3 year period of health issues (details in profile). Right now I'm down to 23lbs overweight, but in my head I feel as big as I did at 60lbs overweight, even though my clothes are saying I'm not (I'm wearing mostly UK12s, some of which are clothes I still had after passing through that size on the way down last time). I have days where I feel I look OK and days where I feel absolutely enormous, and I have absolutely no idea what's accurate.
  • JustChristy79
    JustChristy79 Posts: 156 Member
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    @Seeyoubabyweight

    I have 3 teenage daughters. One is smaller than me. One is my size. One is bigger than me. I know what you mean. It can be a touchy subject. I just try to stress that my goal isn't a size or number on a scale, it's about being in my best health for myself & for them. : )
  • erinp523
    erinp523 Posts: 50 Member
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    I have been dealing with this to. Some days I will look at the mirror and see myself as wide. It helps when I have my husband take a picture of me. Looks much different then what I see in the mirror but it really helps.
  • JustChristy79
    JustChristy79 Posts: 156 Member
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    HappyCampr1 wrote: »
    jennifer_417 wrote: »
    I can go from, "Holy crap I'm tiny!" to "OMG I'm a wildabeest!" in the space of less than a day. I've done this for long enough now that when I swing to either pole, I know all I have to do is wait, that I won't feel that way forever. IDK if that helps, but it keeps me from freaking out so much.

    This is so true and gave me a good laugh. Thank you.

    Me, too! @jennifer_417 , you made us all laugh, I think. :smile:
  • 0147lauren83
    0147lauren83 Posts: 4 Member
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    I'm so glad you posted this ! I have lost about 2.5 stone and when I look in the mirror I still see what I saw 3 months ago , I'm hoping my mind will catch up with my body soon !!
  • helenkaraven
    helenkaraven Posts: 27 Member
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    yeah, this :) some days im all like... oooh hello ;) then others i simply cannot see a difference. even when im buying uk 10s i still think im bigger than i am.....
  • Jennak87
    Jennak87 Posts: 112 Member
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    I think because I've spent my whole life thinking I was fat (even when I wasn't!) it was harder for me to realise what size I was when I actually did get fat. I bought a skirt for my graduation a couple of months ago and I remember looking at it when it was flat out on my bed and thinking it looked absolutely massive, then when I tried it on it fit! I couldn't believe it! I also have the thing where I can't look at photos of myself because I can't believe how big I really am. I felt just as fat at 135lbs when I was a teenager as I do at 200lbs now, but when I compare photos the difference is shocking.
  • TuffChixRule
    TuffChixRule Posts: 190 Member
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    Had this experience over the weekend when I went to buy new clothes for work. My mind still says I am an extra large in tops but the reality is that I can fit into large and sometimes medium tops. In my current profile pic I am wearing a medium top! I still think I will see that fat person in the mirror but when I look now I'm amazed. I'm almost halfway to my goal of losing 50 pounds and I'm the lightest I've been in over 10 years.

    SW: 227 lbs.
    CW: 203.8 lbs.
    GW: 175 lbs.

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