FINALLY GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!
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seriously - be a man of your word, treat her with respect and don't accept being treated any other way yourself.0
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95% honesty for 95% of the time.JeremiahEarl wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.BasicGreatGuy wrote: »2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times
There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.
Does my bum look big in this?
You don't like my mother do you?
I would be honest with both those questions.
If one feels he or she can't be honest with his or her best friend, confidant, and lover, in any area of life, (no matter how small or big) that doesn't speak very highly of the relationship, in my opinion.
Ok let me know how that works out for you :bigsmile:yopeeps025 wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.BasicGreatGuy wrote: »2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times
There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.
Does my bum look big in this?
You don't like my mother do you?
For the first question there is a correct answer based on who you are dating.
True dat
Do you realize how insulting it is, and shows a total lack of respect for your partner, when he or she is rebuked for speaking the truth in love? Why would you want to reenforce the ideal, that you want your partner to lie to you when it is convenient and to your liking?
Call me old fashioned but, I don't see advocating lying to someone you claim to care about as something that should be rationalized away much less applauded.
Speaking the truth in love is not always easy nor is it always easy to hear when it is about you. I have been on both sides of the honest fence many, many times. I would rather my lady feel she can come to me with anything on her heart, than hear "I didn't think you would understand" (translated: I didn't think I could be honest with you, because I thought you were like every other guy).
I know nothing of your relationship history but your profile states that you're still looking for "the one"
Theoretically deep and complete honesty looks like the foundation of a solid relationship, and it is. And please appreciate that a lot of my comments are tomfoolery
however I do believe there's a value in white lies on occasion and in all types of relationship because we are all human and in reality nobody wants that deep honest reaction to every single human interaction particularly when you live with someone for years and years and build a life together
Examples would be pretending you're interested in something because it gives your partner pleasure, saying or doing stuff because it makes them feel good
But Yes trust is important in relationships, as is integrity and honourable intentions
So you are saying not being 100% honest 100% of the time?
For example, if she loves a movie or a restaurant, you do not have to be honest and say that the restaurant sux.
It would be o.k. to shade the truth and say you went to the restaurant once and would prefer to go somewhere else with her.
The point is that you want to trust each other and be kind without being blunt.0 -
Most good men are.asflatasapancake wrote: »Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.
Now if she's asking the first question, I'm probably flexible on answers for the second two.
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.
Now if she's asking the first question, I'm probably flexible on answers for the second two.
I would definitely be asking the first question . . . no double standard here
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chivalryder wrote: »Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.
I'm sorry but this is funny lol0 -
JeremiahEarl wrote: »chivalryder wrote: »Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.
Not exactly, looks get a girl, but personality keeps one. That is why I started this thread
I have to disagree. if a woman only gives you the time of day because you look good, she's probably very superficial and isn't going to recognize a good personality. I know we all have our preferences on who we find attractive but looks will change. They will fade, get older, whatever. You shouldn't have to change what the outside looks like to get a girl. the right one will not care what you look like. just saying.0 -
No double standard, just the implication is the person asking the question is implying the other person is likely to be the limiting partner.acorsaut89 wrote: »asflatasapancake wrote: »Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.
Now if she's asking the first question, I'm probably flexible on answers for the second two.
I would definitely be asking the first question . . . no double standard here
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Become a good person to everyone, NOT just her. (this is aside from the romance) Someday the newness will wear off and you will treat her just like you treat others, and vice versa. You need to BE the person she wants, not just a facade.0
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My advice is to find someone who would have liked you regardless of if you were a little scrawny...0
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Just be considerate of the other person. Ask what she wants out of you and this relationship? And you tell her what you want and need from this relationship. Everyone wants and needs different things out of a person. Working it out together is having a happy relationship.0
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The most spouted advice ever, but here it goes anyway: Be yourself. She's going to find out who you are eventually anyway and it's no fun keeping up false appearances. Stay nerdy, friend!
Also, you might wanna get into the habit of putting the toilet seat down when you're done and putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
But seriously, congratulations! I love hearing good news like this from MFPers. (:0 -
The most spouted advice ever, but here it goes anyway: Be yourself. She's going to find out who you are eventually anyway and it's no fun keeping up false appearances. Stay nerdy, friend!
Also, you might wanna get into the habit of putting the toilet seat down when you're done and putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
But seriously, congratulations! I love hearing good news like this from MFPers. (:
For real though. Toilet seat not going up and back down = big problems haha
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michaela_g09 wrote: »JeremiahEarl wrote: »chivalryder wrote: »Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.
Not exactly, looks get a girl, but personality keeps one. That is why I started this thread
I have to disagree. if a woman only gives you the time of day because you look good, she's probably very superficial and isn't going to recognize a good personality. I know we all have our preferences on who we find attractive but looks will change. They will fade, get older, whatever. You shouldn't have to change what the outside looks like to get a girl. the right one will not care what you look like. just saying.
I belive looks do matter some at first and there has to be that attraction there. I am not saying the person has to be thin, tall ect. I just feel there must be someone visual attraction. Everyone has has preferences. Nothing wrong with that
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Some*0
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yopeeps025 wrote: »Congrats on your new self confidence. It must be showing.
You could maybe ask her how she is with money, if she wants kids, if she's hoping to be married some day, if religion is important to her, what she wants out of life... you know... get the big stuff out of the way so you know if you're compatible/looking for the same thing right now.
That sounds like a stage five clinger. Oh never gave time of how how he was dating but I would not want some of those questions coming up too early.
Nah I just don't like wasting time. I didn't imply what the answer should be. If she says she wants kids but he doesn't, that's typically a deal breaker. If she says she's wanting a fun relationship and so does he then they're on the same page. I always cross those off my list in within the first 3 dates. It only takes a couple minutes. If he is on the route to marriage but she's completely against it.. then again.. typically a deal breaker. I guess I'm old/just generally looking for efficiency hahah. I also tend to just ask those questions fairly matter-of-factly. I'm not good at romance. But my husband didn't mind talking about it on our second date. Then again... I guess I knew I wanted someone who wasn't worried about talking about stuff "too early".
To each their own though. If it bothers you to talk about it then don't.0 -
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