Dealing with embarrassment...what's your trick?

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  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    If you think people are looking and judging.. it is probably because YOU are looking and judging...change begins inside of you... the minute you move beyond your looky-loo... judgey habits and begin moving that energy to something more constructive that is the minute you will begin to be okay with yourself in public... People most often fear and dislike those things they find within themselves... Be a bigger person and you will not be belittled by what YOU think people are looking at.
  • BRobertson23
    BRobertson23 Posts: 150 Member
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    I know that feeling of being self conscious around others while you are working out. Every so often I feel it (even now) after having lost over 40 pounds. It usually comes when I go out for runs, especially when the weather's nice and I see more people while I'm running. I'm not a quick runner and there are times when I feel like my breathing is wheezy, so I feel like I have internal dialogue that says "They're in such great shape! Bet they think 'Glad I'm not as weak/fat/whatever as her'." Is my thought rational? No. Are they thinking that? I have NO IDEA! What I HAVE noticed is that I will see these people on a regular basis or run past others and if I'm aware (not stuck in a zone), I see that they'll smile or nod or acknowledge me in a POSITIVE way. the fact of the matter is, most people who exercise on a regular basis UNDERSTAND what you're trying to achieve. They know that you're trying to better yourself and your health. More than likely, they are not judging you. However, if you keep getting STUCK in this mindset, start creating your own mantra or dialogue with YOURSELF that you are WORTH the effort and you WILL see results as you stay diligent and keeping working at it. Create a positive internal dialogue that will help you recognize that you don't need others' approval to exercise and that you are worthy of all the efforts and energies you are putting into your health. You can do it!!
  • SuseAndo26
    SuseAndo26 Posts: 54 Member
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    It's hard to overcome those feelings, they might even always stay with you no matter how much you don't want them too.

    Just keep going, don't be deterred.

    You say you don't need motivation and that's half the battle right there!!!

    As more weight comes off the 'people looking' will see your results too and will either admire you, feel happy for you, not care or be jealous even.

    Use your self consciousness as more determination to keep going and to succeed!

    You're doing so great already, well done! :smiley:
  • gaelicstorm26
    gaelicstorm26 Posts: 589 Member
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    Tomnev--yes, there is an Irish connection! We hope to one day travel to Ireland to County Donegal!

    Thanks again for the support guys.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
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    I didn't read the whole thread, but I am addressing the original question.

    I take Zumba and don't care what anyone thinks, but I have never had as much to lose as you. However, I see lots of larger women in class or at the gym and I am impressed that they are getting healthy and active. I have heard some rotten stuff about what people might say or do, but I say that life is too short to care about shallow small minded people. Get moving and have fun :)
  • DiSweating
    DiSweating Posts: 3 Member
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    I also completely understand how you feel. I can't get my crap together, so I'm still over 300, but even despite participating in races and going to a gym regularly, when it comes to getting out and walking in public, I still feel like everyone is standing in their living room windows, pointing and laughing. Rationally, I know that no one cares, but the ideas are still there. I kind of treat it like exposure therapy, and just get out there and do what needs to get done, pushing those crazy pants embarrassed thoughts out of my head. Usually some sunglasses and good tunes in my ears help with it, too. I've gotten into the habit that when I see someone like me getting out there and making strides I'll give them a thumbs up from my window when I'm driving past. Good luck to you, you've got this.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    I can tell you from experience that while I do notice people when I walk, afterwards I couldn't tell you jack about them. Not even what they look like. So focus on your workout and what you're doing. That will help get your mind off other people and what they're thinking. Might also start listening to mp3s or books on tape. Or some kind of story app. Give your mind something to focus on, and it won't bug you nearly as much. That helped me a lot!
  • kat_princess12
    kat_princess12 Posts: 109 Member
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    We are likely all too worried about what we look exercising to have any worry to spare about how you look exercising! For once, humanity's self-centeredness works in your favor.
  • HermioneDanger118
    HermioneDanger118 Posts: 345 Member
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    Maybe you're motivating people in your neighborhood without realizing it!
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    Do something similar to exposure therapy. First learn to relax by keeping your mind busy with nice things in these stressful situations, then just go out and do it. It will feel awkward, intimidating, and outright stressful at first, but if you keep it up these feelings will dull out gradually and you will gain control over the fear of embarrassment.

    You could do it gradually by starting exercising around close family members, then moving to some place that is relatively isolated...etc until you are comfortable around more people.
  • reshonne
    reshonne Posts: 13 Member
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    Do you! I feel self conscience at times as well. Then I remind myself that I am doing this for ME! Who cares what other people think. Almost every week I meet someone who inspires me. We all are on our own journey!
  • katieduval24
    katieduval24 Posts: 2 Member
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    I definitely understand where you're coming from. The thought of exercising in public is kind of horrifying to me because of my extra weight. For sure we should both just stick it to these judgee-bears but easier said than done.

    I've been doing cardio in the comfort of my own home. I've tried jump rope and doing stairs inside but my favorite is Dance Central! Granted you have to have/buy an XBOX, have/buy a Kinect and have/buy the game. But there's similar games for other systems as well. Can get as sweaty and out of breath as I want with no fear of judgment.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    I remind myself that other people are going to think what they're going to think no matter what I do, and I have to live my life AS IF it didn't affect me.
  • tractorchck
    tractorchck Posts: 36 Member
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    I was the same way but you have to remind yourself that you are the one living your life and not them so you have to do what's best for you. Who cares what they think. Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one and most stink. Lol. For real though I wouldn't worry because you are out their working and doing something about it.

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