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Let's have an actual chat - no "would you date/*kitten*/marry/add the person below you" games
Replies
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47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.
tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.0 -
robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
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Geez0
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tracyannk28 wrote: »MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »What I find worse're the hypocrites, the guys that complain on their profile; that no one returns their messages but when I message them, to see if they're hypocrites; they don't message me back. Don't complain about something, that you do to other's; being done to you. I don't respond to every message I receive, therefore I don't complain about it; being done to me but I'll confront hypocrites.
I was hoping to find a nice guy, that finishes last. Instead I've found that, all of those; are already taken & what's available're the narcissistic sociopaths, that no one wants. I mean why else would guys, whom're drop dead gorgeous on the outside; be on a dating website? Unless they're also, drop dead garbage; on the inside.
Or their profile says that they're a nice guy and blah blah and they send me a message that says " u r sexy. wnt 2 chat". Like - that's not nice!
You don't want a nice guy. That's a lie0 -
boomshakalaka911 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »What I find worse're the hypocrites, the guys that complain on their profile; that no one returns their messages but when I message them, to see if they're hypocrites; they don't message me back. Don't complain about something, that you do to other's; being done to you. I don't respond to every message I receive, therefore I don't complain about it; being done to me but I'll confront hypocrites.
I was hoping to find a nice guy, that finishes last. Instead I've found that, all of those; are already taken & what's available're the narcissistic sociopaths, that no one wants. I mean why else would guys, whom're drop dead gorgeous on the outside; be on a dating website? Unless they're also, drop dead garbage; on the inside.
Or their profile says that they're a nice guy and blah blah and they send me a message that says " u r sexy. wnt 2 chat". Like - that's not nice!
You don't want a nice guy. That's a lie
Well I don't want a d*uchebag either lololol
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Doubt that0
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I met my wife online. She'd recently moved to my town to live with her best friend and her husband before she could settle down and find her own place. Turns out I was friends with her friend and husband, so they were able to vouch for my credibility. Yes, I had met some others through the site that were quite nuts in one way or another, but there are good people out there too. Just have to be patient and filter out the nut jobs. Use some common sense; don't give out phone numbers or other personal information until you get to know someone. Always meet in a public place and keep the first meeting simple, coffee or a drink.0
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tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
@tracyannk28
You never know until you try. If you remove or at least slightly shield the physical bias, you might find that you generate interest in guys that are looking for more than just that looks factor. And who knows, maybe if you shift focus from looking for guys to date to looking for friends to just hang with and have fun, that one friend would become the guy you end up dating.
I surely wouldn't know, because I haven't been in the dating scene for many years. But I do think the internet and social contacts method has really changed the game in a big way. But really for me, I met the type I ended up being interested in dating when I wasn't at all looking. Without the pressure it just happens.0 -
robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
@tracyannk28
You never know until you try. If you remove or at least slightly shield the physical bias, you might find that you generate interest in guys that are looking for more than just that looks factor. And who knows, maybe if you shift focus from looking for guys to date to looking for friends to just hang with and have fun, that one friend would become the guy you end up dating.
I surely wouldn't know, because I haven't been in the dating scene for many years. But I do think the internet and social contacts method has really changed the game in a big way. But really for me, I met the type I ended up being interested in dating when I wasn't at all looking. Without the pressure it just happens.
While I agree with you, on the internet it's all about appearances. If you have unattractive photos no one will want to talk to you even if you're the coolest chick in the world.
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tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
@tracyannk28
You never know until you try. If you remove or at least slightly shield the physical bias, you might find that you generate interest in guys that are looking for more than just that looks factor. And who knows, maybe if you shift focus from looking for guys to date to looking for friends to just hang with and have fun, that one friend would become the guy you end up dating.
I surely wouldn't know, because I haven't been in the dating scene for many years. But I do think the internet and social contacts method has really changed the game in a big way. But really for me, I met the type I ended up being interested in dating when I wasn't at all looking. Without the pressure it just happens.
While I agree with you, on the internet it's all about appearances. If you have unattractive photos no one will want to talk to you even if you're the coolest chick in the world.
I think that applies only if you let it. As an example, though I'm not "on the market" there are plenty of people here I interact with and somewhat form relationships with. I learn about how they think, what motivations they have, sense of humor, and much more. Though I agree everyone has physical preferences, the other factors of personality and lifestyle are also a huge factor for most. And those are the things that last long beyond physical appreciation of how they look. I've dated women that were gorgeous IMO but so not worth it. And overall been much more attracted to women that maybe weren't as fun to look at on the exterior.0 -
robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
@tracyannk28
You never know until you try. If you remove or at least slightly shield the physical bias, you might find that you generate interest in guys that are looking for more than just that looks factor. And who knows, maybe if you shift focus from looking for guys to date to looking for friends to just hang with and have fun, that one friend would become the guy you end up dating.
I surely wouldn't know, because I haven't been in the dating scene for many years. But I do think the internet and social contacts method has really changed the game in a big way. But really for me, I met the type I ended up being interested in dating when I wasn't at all looking. Without the pressure it just happens.
While I agree with you, on the internet it's all about appearances. If you have unattractive photos no one will want to talk to you even if you're the coolest chick in the world.
I think that applies only if you let it. As an example, though I'm not "on the market" there are plenty of people here I interact with and somewhat form relationships with. I learn about how they think, what motivations they have, sense of humor, and much more. Though I agree everyone has physical preferences, the other factors of personality and lifestyle are also a huge factor for most. And those are the things that last long beyond physical appreciation of how they look. I've dated women that were gorgeous IMO but so not worth it. And overall been much more attracted to women that maybe weren't as fun to look at on the exterior.
I think what she's trying to say is on these sites there's no real way to show your personality... it's all about your physical appearance to start something off. sure, you can spend hours upon hours to fill out your profile to try to show your personality but 1% of the people actually read it (and that's a generous percentage). Online dating is it's own world basically. All the "rules" about what to do to find a good guy/woman flies out the door when you take it online... it stops being about personality as the #1 factor in finding someone and being attractive takes its place.0 -
michaela_g09 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
@tracyannk28
You never know until you try. If you remove or at least slightly shield the physical bias, you might find that you generate interest in guys that are looking for more than just that looks factor. And who knows, maybe if you shift focus from looking for guys to date to looking for friends to just hang with and have fun, that one friend would become the guy you end up dating.
I surely wouldn't know, because I haven't been in the dating scene for many years. But I do think the internet and social contacts method has really changed the game in a big way. But really for me, I met the type I ended up being interested in dating when I wasn't at all looking. Without the pressure it just happens.
While I agree with you, on the internet it's all about appearances. If you have unattractive photos no one will want to talk to you even if you're the coolest chick in the world.
I think that applies only if you let it. As an example, though I'm not "on the market" there are plenty of people here I interact with and somewhat form relationships with. I learn about how they think, what motivations they have, sense of humor, and much more. Though I agree everyone has physical preferences, the other factors of personality and lifestyle are also a huge factor for most. And those are the things that last long beyond physical appreciation of how they look. I've dated women that were gorgeous IMO but so not worth it. And overall been much more attracted to women that maybe weren't as fun to look at on the exterior.
I think what she's trying to say is on these sites there's no real way to show your personality... it's all about your physical appearance to start something off. sure, you can spend hours upon hours to fill out your profile to try to show your personality but 1% of the people actually read it (and that's a generous percentage). Online dating is it's own world basically. All the "rules" about what to do to find a good guy/woman flies out the door when you take it online... it stops being about personality as the #1 factor in finding someone and being attractive takes its place.
@michaela_g09 got it right. No one reads the bio part. Mine was pretty awesome and it totally captured my personality but no one read it. You can tell because they'd ask me if I had kids...and I'd be like "ummm didn't you read my profile". The focus is on the photos. Tinder is the perfect example of this. Swipe right if you think they're attractive, left if you don't.
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tracyannk28 wrote: »michaela_g09 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
@tracyannk28
You never know until you try. If you remove or at least slightly shield the physical bias, you might find that you generate interest in guys that are looking for more than just that looks factor. And who knows, maybe if you shift focus from looking for guys to date to looking for friends to just hang with and have fun, that one friend would become the guy you end up dating.
I surely wouldn't know, because I haven't been in the dating scene for many years. But I do think the internet and social contacts method has really changed the game in a big way. But really for me, I met the type I ended up being interested in dating when I wasn't at all looking. Without the pressure it just happens.
While I agree with you, on the internet it's all about appearances. If you have unattractive photos no one will want to talk to you even if you're the coolest chick in the world.
I think that applies only if you let it. As an example, though I'm not "on the market" there are plenty of people here I interact with and somewhat form relationships with. I learn about how they think, what motivations they have, sense of humor, and much more. Though I agree everyone has physical preferences, the other factors of personality and lifestyle are also a huge factor for most. And those are the things that last long beyond physical appreciation of how they look. I've dated women that were gorgeous IMO but so not worth it. And overall been much more attracted to women that maybe weren't as fun to look at on the exterior.
I think what she's trying to say is on these sites there's no real way to show your personality... it's all about your physical appearance to start something off. sure, you can spend hours upon hours to fill out your profile to try to show your personality but 1% of the people actually read it (and that's a generous percentage). Online dating is it's own world basically. All the "rules" about what to do to find a good guy/woman flies out the door when you take it online... it stops being about personality as the #1 factor in finding someone and being attractive takes its place.
@michaela_g09 got it right. No one reads the bio part. Mine was pretty awesome and it totally captured my personality but no one read it. You can tell because they'd ask me if I had kids...and I'd be like "ummm didn't you read my profile". The focus is on the photos. Tinder is the perfect example of this. Swipe right if you think they're attractive, left if you don't.
can confirm. didn't read profile. still constantly sending inappropriate messages.
Just as long as there's no name calling
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tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
For me posting pictures, that reveal my body; isn't meant to attract men. It's meant to repel the men, that wouldn't be attracted to my body. So that I don't waste my time, money, feelings, etc. and/or them theirs, dating each other. I don't want to wait until the moment, we're about to be intimate; to find that the sight of my body'd cause him to have erectile dysfunction. These pictures:
don't show, that my breast's are actually; half way to my belly button & has stretch marks. That my belly is flabby, has stretch marks & an indented biopsy scar. That my hips & thighs have severe cellulite (not just, on the back; of them either) or that 1 of my thighs, also has an indented biopsy scar.
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You should give yourself more credit Monday, you're a lovely lady. Anyone who's lived life has a few marks to show for it...0
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I agree you're being too harsh on yourself. You're beautiful0
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MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
For me posting pictures, that reveal my body; isn't meant to attract men. It's meant to repel the men, that wouldn't be attracted to my body. So that I don't waste my time, money, feelings, etc. and/or them theirs, dating each other. I don't want to wait until the moment, we're about to be intimate; to find that the sight of my body'd cause him to have erectile dysfunction. These pictures:
don't show, that my breast's are actually; half way to my belly button & has stretch marks. That my belly is flabby, has stretch marks & an indented biopsy scar. That my hips & thighs have severe cellulite (not just, on the back; of them either) or that 1 of my thighs, also has an indented biopsy scar.
I love this entire post so much!0 -
You should give yourself more credit Monday, you're a lovely lady. Anyone who's lived life has a few marks to show for it...I agree you're being too harsh on yourself. You're beautiful
Thank you very much. I agree that everyone has, marks to show for; the life that they live & I don't mind how I look but when I posted a picture, of myself in a sports bra; I actually got a couple of messages that said: Yuck. So this is the unfortunate reality, of dating websites. They expect us to look flawless or accept being single, as a consequence. My hope was to find a "nice guy that finishes last" but what I found, were narcissistic sociopaths. It appears that all of the nice guys, already have someone.0 -
PurringMyrrh wrote: »MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »robertw486 wrote: »47Jacqueline wrote: »I gave up on those sites. If you're older, the guys are all looking for attractive women 20+ years younger than them. As if.tracyannk28 wrote: »Or the young guys are just looking to hook up with attractive older women like me
@47Jacqueline @tracyannk28
Fixed for both of you.
Face facts, nobody is going to troll or hope to just find a quick hookup with the ugly ducklings. I'm not saying it's the fault of either of you for being attractive ladies, but if any profile has a photo it leaves opportunity for the "creepy" guys to try. Maybe find a less flattering photo for your profiles, maybe one funny if sense of humor is important, one in professional clothing if that is important to you, etc. Or a very vague photo might attract less creepers and only people with real like interests or something.
And keep in mind that maybe the guy that sent the message you think was "creepy" is just socially awkward, and thought that being forward was the only way to provoke a possible response, especially if they were setting their sights high. I realize that this excludes any guy that calls you a crack ***** when he doesn't get his way, but really most people are somewhat deficient in some aspect. Some of them could be nice guys looking for a similar relationship but just be poor at communicating or understanding what you think is appropriate.
Because, once again facing facts... a lot of the "hook up" type sites and attitudes is because not all women are ladies either. If they were just sites where the guys fished and never got a bite, they probably wouldn't exist all that long.
And totally agree on the blocking likely due to his wife!
Legal Disclaimer: Robertw486 assumes no liability for dating advice given on this site. Dating restrictions may apply. Married people out of the dating loop may not be suggested for dating advice. Read all directions carefully, and discard if they do not apply. Creepers might find you even if you have no photo. "Sexy" is not always a physical thing. Shipping and handling charges are extra. But one, get one free only applies to really cheap dates. Your mileage may vary.
@robertw486 The thing is about less attractive photos is that then I wouldn't get any hits at all. So we have to take the good with the (very) bad.
it makes me sad that some women would lower themselves and behave less like ladies just to get attention from a man on the internet. It makes us all look bad.
I'm just about done with the whole dating thing. I think I'm getting too old for the nonsense
For me posting pictures, that reveal my body; isn't meant to attract men. It's meant to repel the men, that wouldn't be attracted to my body. So that I don't waste my time, money, feelings, etc. and/or them theirs, dating each other. I don't want to wait until the moment, we're about to be intimate; to find that the sight of my body'd cause him to have erectile dysfunction. These pictures:
don't show, that my breast's are actually; half way to my belly button & has stretch marks. That my belly is flabby, has stretch marks & an indented biopsy scar. That my hips & thighs have severe cellulite (not just, on the back; of them either) or that 1 of my thighs, also has an indented biopsy scar.
I love this entire post so much!
Thank you!0 -
MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »You should give yourself more credit Monday, you're a lovely lady. Anyone who's lived life has a few marks to show for it...I agree you're being too harsh on yourself. You're beautiful
Thank you very much. I agree that everyone has, marks to show for; the life that they live & I don't mind how I look but when I posted a picture, of myself in a sports bra; I actually got a couple of messages that said: Yuck. So this is the unfortunate reality, of dating websites. They expect us to look flawless or accept being single, as a consequence. My hope was to find a "nice guy that finishes last" but what I found, were narcissistic sociopaths. It appears that all of the nice guys, already have someone.
@MondayJune22nd2015 I think you're lovely and those stupid guys are missing out on someone fantastic
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I'm waiting for a conversation I can jump into0
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How bout them skins baby!!!! HTTR!0
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tracyannk28 wrote: »MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »You should give yourself more credit Monday, you're a lovely lady. Anyone who's lived life has a few marks to show for it...I agree you're being too harsh on yourself. You're beautiful
Thank you very much. I agree that everyone has, marks to show for; the life that they live & I don't mind how I look but when I posted a picture, of myself in a sports bra; I actually got a couple of messages that said: Yuck. So this is the unfortunate reality, of dating websites. They expect us to look flawless or accept being single, as a consequence. My hope was to find a "nice guy that finishes last" but what I found, were narcissistic sociopaths. It appears that all of the nice guys, already have someone.
@MondayJune22nd2015 I think you're lovely and those stupid guys are missing out on someone fantastic
Thank you very much & you know what, that's the cruel irony about it. These guys announce, on their profiles; that they won't settle but what they don't understand, is that by being picky; they're settling. They're settling for no one, they're settling; for being alone. How is that not settling, for something worse; than someone whom isn't flawless?0 -
How bout dem cowwwwboyz0
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Dem 4 and 10 cowboyssss0
This discussion has been closed.
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