True Confessions - Don't Judge
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cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »
I've been married 7 years and unhappy for the last 5 ... I hear ya on the broken people .... My husband at one time told me he wasn't sleeping with me because of my weight. That was huge for me. I have anxiety now over and think everyone is judging me over it.
You cant change him, but you can change the way you look at yourself. Self acceptance is
something that takes time. Don't compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Strangers (including myself) often look at others out of curiosity more than judgment.
Oh it's super hard to not compare myself .....
Comparison is the thief of joy. I have to tell myself this a lot.
That's a good way to look at it.
It's hard, especially when people have been telling us to compare ourselves most of our lives, usually to something perceived negative so that we are somehow miraculously enlightened and we feel better about ourselves.... as a way to count our blessings, I suppose. But then we take it and use it as a way that is no longer constructive and we tear ourselves up over how we aren't what we are "supposed" to be. Don't let these thoughts convince you that you're not enough.
Not sure why that made me cry.... But not being enough is EXACTLY how I feel.
Thats how my ex made me feel for 18 yrs ...its hard to over come0 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »
I've been married 7 years and unhappy for the last 5 ... I hear ya on the broken people .... My husband at one time told me he wasn't sleeping with me because of my weight. That was huge for me. I have anxiety now over and think everyone is judging me over it.
You cant change him, but you can change the way you look at yourself. Self acceptance is
something that takes time. Don't compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Strangers (including myself) often look at others out of curiosity more than judgment.
Oh it's super hard to not compare myself .....
Comparison is the thief of joy. I have to tell myself this a lot.
That's a good way to look at it.
It's hard, especially when people have been telling us to compare ourselves most of our lives, usually to something perceived negative so that we are somehow miraculously enlightened and we feel better about ourselves.... as a way to count our blessings, I suppose. But then we take it and use it as a way that is no longer constructive and we tear ourselves up over how we aren't what we are "supposed" to be. Don't let these thoughts convince you that you're not enough.
Not sure why that made me cry.... But not being enough is EXACTLY how I feel.
I was married 15 years and was made to feel this way also.
You are enough. It may take a long time for you to believe it, but you will.
Lol we need a group for this apparently0 -
mrwineismybf wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »
I've been married 7 years and unhappy for the last 5 ... I hear ya on the broken people .... My husband at one time told me he wasn't sleeping with me because of my weight. That was huge for me. I have anxiety now over and think everyone is judging me over it.
You cant change him, but you can change the way you look at yourself. Self acceptance is
something that takes time. Don't compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Strangers (including myself) often look at others out of curiosity more than judgment.
Oh it's super hard to not compare myself .....
Comparison is the thief of joy. I have to tell myself this a lot.
That's a good way to look at it.
It's hard, especially when people have been telling us to compare ourselves most of our lives, usually to something perceived negative so that we are somehow miraculously enlightened and we feel better about ourselves.... as a way to count our blessings, I suppose. But then we take it and use it as a way that is no longer constructive and we tear ourselves up over how we aren't what we are "supposed" to be. Don't let these thoughts convince you that you're not enough.
Not sure why that made me cry.... But not being enough is EXACTLY how I feel.
I was married 15 years and was made to feel this way also.
You are enough. It may take a long time for you to believe it, but you will.
Lol we need a group for this apparently
Apparently lol0 -
I just want to thank you ladies for talking to me about this and letting me know I'm not alone. It's helped a lot ..... I'm grateful for you all.
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Enjoyed an afternoon of Lazer tag with my boy...
Lead that damn team to victory!
Kids didn't know who they messing with lol!
#ImYoLeader #stillgotit0 -
I confess I'm in a bad *kitten* mood today. I feel for anyone who has the balls to do some dumb *kitten* today.0
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cabronlobos wrote: »Chase_The_Pain wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »Is getting a divorce .... And can't wait to start dating
It's not as fun as you'd think. There's a lot of broken people out there.
Oh.... it's fun
It is fun if all you want are games and hook ups. If you want real..... Not fun at all cause it doesn't exist anymore.
It's all subjective I say. What do you consider real? I have been single for 15 yrs and I have enjoyed it immensely. I have focused on myself and have accomplished much because of it. I have also dated and gone long periods without a date and have been fine either way. I'm a grown up.....and I know who I am.....if I find someone attractive and exciting and get the urge to sleep with them, so be it, even if they aren't going to be a long term relationship. It doesn't make you a hoe or skank to enjoy what adults can enjoy. I do not believe you must love someone to enjoy being together physically, however you do need to be in the right mindset so you don't get goofy with it. All that being said, finding a real relationship is great too....my point is if you are going to put labels on adult behavior done responsibly, then you may find single life, dating life hard.....
^^^ this right here.... well said!! It is becoming more acceptable for women to live this way too. It was a major double standard years ago. Now, women are able to express their sexual preferences and wants without being labeled a *kitten*.3 -
I confess I am outie, byeeeeeeee3
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cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »
I've been married 7 years and unhappy for the last 5 ... I hear ya on the broken people .... My husband at one time told me he wasn't sleeping with me because of my weight. That was huge for me. I have anxiety now over and think everyone is judging me over it.
You cant change him, but you can change the way you look at yourself. Self acceptance is
something that takes time. Don't compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Strangers (including myself) often look at others out of curiosity more than judgment.
Oh it's super hard to not compare myself .....
Comparison is the thief of joy. I have to tell myself this a lot.
That's a good way to look at it.
It's hard, especially when people have been telling us to compare ourselves most of our lives, usually to something perceived negative so that we are somehow miraculously enlightened and we feel better about ourselves.... as a way to count our blessings, I suppose. But then we take it and use it as a way that is no longer constructive and we tear ourselves up over how we aren't what we are "supposed" to be. Don't let these thoughts convince you that you're not enough.
I'm really bad about telling myself that I *should* feel this way, or I *should* do that. I just saw an REI ad in a magazine with a lot of the *should* statements I run through my brain, but the should part was redlined in each. I'll be tearing that page out and putting it somewhere that I'll look at every day as a reminder.0 -
captainfantastic94 wrote: »I confess I am outie, byeeeeeeee
Why?0 -
captainfantastic94 wrote: »I confess I am outie, byeeeeeeee
Youll be missed ☺0 -
I confess.. I had McDonalds for dinner. Medium size - cause I'm on diet
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cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »
I've been married 7 years and unhappy for the last 5 ... I hear ya on the broken people .... My husband at one time told me he wasn't sleeping with me because of my weight. That was huge for me. I have anxiety now over and think everyone is judging me over it.
You cant change him, but you can change the way you look at yourself. Self acceptance is
something that takes time. Don't compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Strangers (including myself) often look at others out of curiosity more than judgment.
Oh it's super hard to not compare myself .....
Comparison is the thief of joy. I have to tell myself this a lot.
That's a good way to look at it.
It's hard, especially when people have been telling us to compare ourselves most of our lives, usually to something perceived negative so that we are somehow miraculously enlightened and we feel better about ourselves.... as a way to count our blessings, I suppose. But then we take it and use it as a way that is no longer constructive and we tear ourselves up over how we aren't what we are "supposed" to be. Don't let these thoughts convince you that you're not enough.
I'm really bad about telling myself that I *should* feel this way, or I *should* do that. I just saw an REI ad in a magazine with a lot of the *should* statements I run through my brain, but the should part was redlined in each. I'll be tearing that page out and putting it somewhere that I'll look at every day as a reminder.
Can you give some examples.0 -
cdiller7796 wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »Is getting a divorce .... And can't wait to start dating
It's not as fun as you'd think. There's a lot of broken people out there.
I was going to say the same, but figured, meh, they all figure that out on their own eventually. It all sounds so fun and exciting to married people. The single life is just all fun and laughs and kittens and rainbows and tons of sex. Well, it would be if you want to be a skank hoe maybe. lol
I don't want that at all (being a skank hoe) .... But I was single and raised my son by myself for the first 7 years of his life. I'm not opposed to being alone. Doesn't bother me. But, there's no love nor affection in my marriage and it's very lonely.cdiller7796 wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »Is getting a divorce .... And can't wait to start dating
It's not as fun as you'd think. There's a lot of broken people out there.
I was going to say the same, but figured, meh, they all figure that out on their own eventually. It all sounds so fun and exciting to married people. The single life is just all fun and laughs and kittens and rainbows and tons of sex. Well, it would be if you want to be a skank hoe maybe. lol
I don't want that at all (being a skank hoe) .... But I was single and raised my son by myself for the first 7 years of his life. I'm not opposed to being alone. Doesn't bother me. But, there's no love nor affection in my marriage and it's very lonely.
Trust me, I am not one to advocate staying in a miserable marriage. Im the one who's usually telling all these people that complain endlessly about their horrible marriages to *kitten* leave already. I was married for 15 years. I'm divorced. I'd take being single and lonely any day over staying married to my ex. I'm just saying don't idealize the dating scene. It ain't all its cracked up to be.
I don't idolize the dating scene. But, I do envy those who can find someone that wants to show affection and physical touch .... And that my friend I won't apologize for wanting or needing. I do idolize that.6 -
cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »cdiller7796 wrote: »
I've been married 7 years and unhappy for the last 5 ... I hear ya on the broken people .... My husband at one time told me he wasn't sleeping with me because of my weight. That was huge for me. I have anxiety now over and think everyone is judging me over it.
You cant change him, but you can change the way you look at yourself. Self acceptance is
something that takes time. Don't compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Strangers (including myself) often look at others out of curiosity more than judgment.
Oh it's super hard to not compare myself .....
Comparison is the thief of joy. I have to tell myself this a lot.
That's a good way to look at it.
It's hard, especially when people have been telling us to compare ourselves most of our lives, usually to something perceived negative so that we are somehow miraculously enlightened and we feel better about ourselves.... as a way to count our blessings, I suppose. But then we take it and use it as a way that is no longer constructive and we tear ourselves up over how we aren't what we are "supposed" to be. Don't let these thoughts convince you that you're not enough.
I'm really bad about telling myself that I *should* feel this way, or I *should* do that. I just saw an REI ad in a magazine with a lot of the *should* statements I run through my brain, but the should part was redlined in each. I'll be tearing that page out and putting it somewhere that I'll look at every day as a reminder.
Can you give some examples.
Things like "I should feel strong" or "I should appreciate my body's abilities". It takes things from a passive statement to an affirmative statement.2 -
captainfantastic94 wrote: »I confess I am outie, byeeeeeeee
What??? I hope you're not serious. I mean, I hope you're not leaving the board. I saw your previous confession about it being a rough night so I hope you're ok. Personally, I enjoy both your posts and your selfies. We need your type of humor around here!0
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