Obese people telling me what's unhealthy...
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Well, its nice of her to offer you advice, even if it is unwanted. Congratulations on your own weight loss, but her size shouldn't make a difference.0
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MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, poutine. Now that's all i can think about!!! Hmmm, I think there's a Smoke's Poutinerie nearby!!
You rang?
I hate gravy, but I am tempted because Smoke's has double bacon poutine.
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just weird coming from someone who was eating chips when she said it lol
She was eating chips at the time? Man... that's some opening...0 -
did I every tell you I love your wit and kind sarcasm xi? yep ...tell it like it is.....!
Thank you! I'm here all week. Remember to tip your waitresses, and make sure to try the veal!
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I'm a chef and some fat dude once told me you shouldn't trust a skinny chef...0
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Are "cheese curds" the same as cottage cheese?
Who knew MFP could be so educational??
Cheese curds are basically cheese that isn't pressed into a block. Poutine curds are supposed to "squeek" a bit when you bite into them. It's really hard to describe. They're something like mozarella, but... squeeky.0 -
Squeaky cheese is the best...0
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i just had this happen. i was having a convo about having a whole wheat english muffin with honey-nut cream cheese for bfast and how delicious it was. some lady nearby who must have been as wide as she was tall, told me how unhealthy cream cheese is! seriously? some people just love to hear themselves speak.0
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Well, its nice of her to offer you advice, even if it is unwanted. Congratulations on your own weight loss, but her size shouldn't make a difference.
Actually, on this topic it should. I'm not going to take advice on how to lose weight from my 350lb friend who hasn't stuck with a diet in 10 years, but I will take advice from my 300 lb friend who just dropped 50lbs even if he still has 100 more to go. If a random stranger comes up to give diet advice without knowing me or my history I'll make a snap judgment based on their weight too.
If they open the unsolicited advice door, they get the snap judgment based on appearance thrown right back at them.0 -
I agree, it is annoying!0
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This happens to me ALL the time. If they're actively losing weight then it doesn't bother me, but when it's coming from someone who doesn't eat right or exercise, I don't need their advice.0
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just weird coming from someone who was eating chips when she said it lol
She was eating chips at the time? Man... that's some opening...
Talk about a hanging fastball right down the middle of the plate, I'd be taking a Jason Heyward type swing at that opening. I admire your tact and restraint, OP.
I can identify. My Dad does this all the time. I just ignore the mean old coot!0 -
OMG...yes all the time
You need to say...I love *insert workout of your choice* I go X amt of times a week. Let's go together sometime *evil grin*0 -
Poutine is some of the best damn stuff on earth! :drinker:
Personally, I would have been so annoyed at her comments that it would've inspired me to play devil's advocate for the next 6 months....I'd slip in some random...ahem....untrue comments about all the (non-existent) fattening foods I've indulged in over the weekend, all the while continuing to eat healthy and exercise. At some point, if she has a brain, she'll start thinking "Wow...she's in really great shape for eating all that crap! How does she do it? What's her secret?" :laugh:
Sure, there's the chance that she may just think that you're bulimic but in my experience, people like that are rarely that imaginative or analytic.
And yes, it would be loads easier just to ignore her....but where's the fun in that?0 -
Well, its nice of her to offer you advice, even if it is unwanted. Congratulations on your own weight loss, but her size shouldn't make a difference.
You know what? You really need to be careful posting on internet forums, because sometimes people will see what you post and call you names if you say silly things!
Man, I'm nice to offer advice.0 -
oh my goodness now I really want a poutine... god damn it.0
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Chill out bro, people give unasked for advice all the time. Smile, nod, and move on.
Yup.
^^ Same. Meh, I probably wouldn't have been offended.. she's warning you not to eat fat on fat on fat (delicious, yes. healthy, hell no). Would you really be less offended if she was someone who weighed less? I personally would be more offended. Maybe she's just concerned that you'll fall back into poor eating habits and she knows that she hates being overweight and acknowledges how far you've come. Unsolicited, yes. Offensive- why?0 -
That is a new word for me, poutine. Never heard of it. Had to google it.
Looks like Chilly cheese fries with a little bit of mayo. O.o I never heard of this dish either!
I WANT IT! *coughs*
Op eat what you want. As long as you can handle it. That's what I do.
I don't know. I try not to judge people who are over weight/obese. You haven't a clue what's going on with them to make them heavy. Usually, it's not food but medication that can wreck your body to kingdom come.0 -
Unasked for advice is annoying, but saying 'she can't give good food advice because she's obese' is falling prey to a logical fallacy- namely both 'tu quoque.' And, to a lesser degree 'poisoning the well' (I say the latter to a lesser degree because you don't disagree with the assertion, merely the appropriateness of being told the assertion).0
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This drives me insane too.
On a similar note, I am training for a marathon and my very sedentary friend who has not run in over 20 years is constantly trying to give me advice. He says he wants to run, but he stubbed his toe a month ago and it still hurts...that's the only thing holding him back. What held you back the other 19.9 years?
I've been pushing since November of last year. I started at 320 (aka Three Mile Island, hey people call the one hundred pound territory Onederland, so that's my coined term for being over three hundred). Now at 240-ish, people who have never possibly seen the inside of a gym are giving me unsolicited diet and fitness advice. I get often, I'm doing too much (cardio, weights ,Pilates), lifting too much, doing it wrong, doing the wrong thing, eating wrong, eating the wrong thing, not eating enough, too much eating and they want to see my form for X exercise. Often enough they can't even do the exercise I am doing, but somehow they are a fitness expert, dietician /Nutritionist and they don't work out or watch their intake.
And one told me they were gonna go on Master Cleanse, as they ate a slice of greasy cheese pizza, while I ate my baked chicken breast. And that I would lose more, if I did it like them.
I don't get that.
Oh they gained more, Post Cleanse and they dont talk to me.
Win.0 -
Sorry if this has been covered, I only read the opening comment...
I find this happens very often. It annoyed me for a long time but having had an obese childhood and into my teens and having weight rebound twice afterwards (kids eh, quick fix), so I can see it from both sides - the depression of being overweight, and the jealousy you receive when you've lost weight. She doesn't mean to be jealous, and probably wouldn't admit it if you pressed her. Because she IS probably happy for you, but it's painful to her, whether she admits it or not, that you are losing weight and she isn't...
Try not to take it too personally, this lady could be living in denial, with even subconscious jealousy towards you because you are succeeding, she's probably unhappier than you think, and doesn't believe it is possible, maybe even necessary, for her to lose weight herself. Never underestimate the power of denial, it's probably her way of showing you that she knows what's healthy. It is likely to be the only way she can cope with it, admitting you have anything to lose, let alone something in the range of 100lbs, it can be suffocating. In my opinion anyway.
Take comfort in knowing that you're doing it, you're doing it well, and you're in control. She, in all probability, has lost control, and I'm sure she means no harm. It's not easy not to get frustrated, I often do, but just step away or change the subject if you can xx0 -
Cracks me up when someone was lecturing me on the evils of diet coke as they were kicking back a huge glass of wine.0
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Anyway, today at lunch, while I ate my vegetables, I said to one of my co-workers "I had a poutine this weekend for the first time this year!". And she said "well you should watch cause those are full of fat and it's not good for you"!!!! This coming from a person who is very obese with no intentions of changing it, who has no problem eating junk food every day!
See, I don't handle that sort of thing very well, so my advice would be bad advice...
I'd adopt a shocked look, and drop my fork on the table.
"POUTINE IS HIGH IN FAT?! OH MY GOD! REALLY? I'M GOING TO BE SICK!"
Then I'd stop, pick up my fork and say "I've lost 75 pounds. Could I get you another soda or a bag of chips?"
LMAO! The BEST!0 -
I know she had no bad intentions. She's a really nice person... and now that I did eat it, she kind of made me feel bad. I'm not hurt or anything, I know she doesn't mean any harm....just weird coming from someone who was eating chips when she said it lol
I think this is a helpful addition to your original post because it's clearer about how what she said made you feel bad and thatz not cool. You felt judged, FAIR ENOUGH, and expressed a bit of righteous indignation over being judged about healthful eating by someone fatter than you. As in, I see your judgement, and raise you one tub of lard (you fat tub of lard!).
That being said, I wasn't there and you were, but ... is it possible she wasn't judging you, but just trying to connect with you on a topic that's near and dear to your heart? You haven't lost 75 pounds in 6 months without caring a lot about the process, and she surely knows that. You bring up food in conversation, she's entitled to an opinion. She might even have been trying to say "Wow, I know you have been working really hard to lose weight you should be careful because stuff like that can derail you!" Yes, you already know that, but people say inane things and that's not judgement for you eating it: it's participating in conversation on a topic YOU BROUGHT UP.
This is a blind spot for so many of us who are working on losing weight. A lot of people who are trying to lose weight talk about ALL THE TIME. That's not just boring and shallow, it tends to exclude people from conversation if they're not on the same journey with us (WTF are they supposed to say to us? "Good job! I'm impressed!" is nice, but it wears thin over time.). Here's my rule: if I bring up food in conversation EVER, other people in that conversation are allowed to express an opinion about it. Opinions are, as they say, like a-holes: everyone has one. If you don't want to hear other people's opinions about food, then don't talk about food. Generally, I don't want to hear people's opinions about food either except in very "safe" environments, so I try not to talk about it except in diet forums like this one.
It's just unfortunate the original post targeted obese people in the subject line and came down so hard with the implication that fat people shouldn't participate in conversations about nutrition, like "ugh, fatties, STFU, AMIRITE?" Or that in any conversation about food between two people, the thinner person automatically wins. Although that wasn't your original intention (after all, you disclosed up front that you were obese 6 months ago: unless I misunderstood and you're more than 6 feet tall), I'm seeing a lot of uncharitable and indignant responses here along those lines. Very often obese people are in fact very knowledgeable about diet and nutrition (after all, that's where you were 6 months ago) because WE'VE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES, MAN.0 -
Why is it that when people lose weight they get all these sensitivities?! Have the 2 of you talked about eating stuff when You were also obese and eating badly...either way Roll with the punches.0
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Love the Idea of "treat meals". It is a perfect idea. As for the other issue stick to what works for you and ignore the noise0
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To answer to a few people on here, I never said that she couldn't give food advice cause she was fat. Being obese doesn't lessen the credibility of her advice, but I do think it's a little hypocritical. And being obese herself, I would have expected her to be a little more sensitive when making comments about my food choices... That's all. I was simply venting because she is someone I care about, we are pretty close, and she knows wht I've been through and what led to my obesity so I expected a little more compassion and less criticism...especially when she's one of the people who is always telling me to lighten up and cheat a little...0
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To answer to a few people on here, I never said that she couldn't give food advice cause she was fat. Being obese doesn't lessen the credibility of her advice, but I do think it's a little hypocritical. And being obese herself, I would have expected her to be a little more sensitive when making comments about my food choices... That's all. I was simply venting because she is someone I care about, we are pretty close, and she knows wht I've been through and what led to my obesity so I expected a little more compassion and less criticism...especially when she's one of the people who is always telling me to lighten up and cheat a little...
Mehhh
It's starting to seem like it's less about her & more about the insecurity you feel.
If you knew what you were doing was right you wouldn't give a damn what she said.
have confidence in your feelings & don't let anyone sway them to the positive or negative poles
Take control of yourself & your emotions the same way you did with your weight when you lost the original 75 lbs
You're awesome and strong either way. Eat that freaking poutin with no shame!0 -
Yeah. I hear that. I have a friend who is obese. She tells me all the time not to eat dairy(I love dairy but I'm lactose intolerant and shouldn't be eating it,but I love milk,cheese and ice cream)very rarely I have dairy and it does make me suffer. But that's beside the point. She has no allergies or intolerances of any kind. Se tells my other friends that cheese and dairy are the worse things in the world. Says she who eats cake and chips and all sorts of junk food,washed down with copious amounts of coke.
She says she can lose weight anytime she wants. People are strange sometimes especially when you're losing or have lost weight. It's like they make it about them.
I just keep doing what I'm doing. It's my body. They're entitled to their opinion however idiotic that may be,but that's all. Lol. I just do what I do 0 -
To answer to a few people on here, I never said that she couldn't give food advice cause she was fat. Being obese doesn't lessen the credibility of her advice, but I do think it's a little hypocritical. And being obese herself, I would have expected her to be a little more sensitive when making comments about my food choices... That's all. I was simply venting because she is someone I care about, we are pretty close, and she knows wht I've been through and what led to my obesity so I expected a little more compassion and less criticism...especially when she's one of the people who is always telling me to lighten up and cheat a little...
Mehhh
It's starting to seem like it's less about her & the insecurity you feel.
If you knew what you were doing was right you wouldn't give a damn what she said.
have confidence in your feelings & don't let anyone sway them to the positive or negative poles
Take control of yourself & your emotions the same way you did with your weight when you lost the original 75 lbs
You're no longer overweight. You don't have to have the same insecurities. Or at least you shouldn't.
You're awesome either way. Eat that freaking poutin with no shame!
If she was a total stranger, I wouldn't have cared. It's because she knows my situation that I was surprised by the criticism... I did eat that poutine with no shame. I was simply venting out my frustration... I do know that what I'm doing is right...but why does that mean I shouldn't give a damn about what a friend says?0
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