How do I stop feeling so self-conscious at the gym?

JoRocka

BabyBloodheart wrote: »

But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

So- you're project your feelings out on a reaction that means nothing.

People look- especially in the weight room- people watch everyone- there is an ebb and flow to it. some people do the 1000 yard stare- some people people watch.

But trust me- they don't care about you. They don't know you- they may go in their head- look at that guy trying to figure it out. And you know what happens after that? nothing- they go back to lifting.

Options of lifting ab out what to do with your eyeballs
look at the floor- look at people- look at your phone- talk to people
Guess what that means:
Looking at the floor- you're not well or you're a socially awkward guy who everyone stays away from b/c you migth be the one that snaps
Looking at people - OMG PEOPLE ARE JUDGING ME
Looking at your phone- OMG LOOK AT THAT GUY NOT WORKING OUT JUST HOGGING EQUIPMENT USING HIS PHONE.
Talking to people- OMG LOOK AT THAT GUY SOCIALIZING_ NEVER WORKING.

Trust me- just because they happen to lay eyes on you doesn't mean they give to poops about you.

Do the things you need to do. Period. Don't mind anyone else. Just keep doing what you're doing.

kwtilbury

Unless you do something absolutely ridiculous, like use a leg curl machine to do crunches, no one is going to pay attention to what you look like. Do your own thing and enjoy yourself.

harlequin0318

I have an easy solution to the "my form is terrible part"....practice in the mirror at home first! practice all the time, "faff" around and check videos at home, psych yourself up before you get there, or in the car before you go in. Then when you go in - get to business, focus on yourself - because that's what everyone else is there to do (mostly)

KittensMaster

Have a routine set and do it

Don't go unprepared. Have a notebook

I used to worry about things

My trainer, a woman, said to wear tights on leg day

I felt funny about that. But they actually had benefits keeping warmed up and not scraping off skin

Cycling has skin tight clothes that took some getting used to for wearing

We all felt Funny about something in life

Just focus on the task at hand and complete it with enthusiasm

lizzocat

Find your resting *kitten* face...j/k. Honestly, just keep going and doing what you're doing, anyone who is paying attention to you isn't doing what they're supposed to be doing, which is working out and paying attention to their own lifts. I started out lifting with literally like 5 pounds and empty bars, everyone has to start somewhere.

cindyangotti

People at the gym are focused on themselves, not you! I don't mean that to sound mean at all but once I realized that my gym experience was much better. I used to weigh 265 pounds so I know how you feel but honestly, they are not looking at you.

kindrabbit

OP you've had some great responses.

At some point you are going to have to stop caring what other people think. No matter how 'funny looking' you are, I'm sure no-one is really that interested in what you are doing. I can't speak for everyone else but if I were to see you in my gym I would be happy to see you starting out. I probably wouldn't offer assistance as gym etiquette is usually to keep your head down and get on with your own workout BUT if you were to ask, I'd be very happy to share what I have learned with you. I occasionally chat to people between sets if they look open to it and they are doing something that I am interested in and I would like some advice.

FYI, I have just done my workout with the empty bar and it didnt even occur to me to care what anyone else thought.

My concern is that you aren't using correct form. That's a sure fire way to hurt yourself. Does your gym offer free inductions? Even if you don't have a full personal training session I am sure a member of staff will check your form for you. I will occasionally ask someone to either check my form or spot me if I am close to my max.

PS, can we have a pic?

LolaKarwowski

BabyBloodheart wrote: »

But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

I get some stares too. At first they bothered me but after a while my fat bothered me more. No one starts off looking like a body builder. Everyone has their first day at the gym. If I can tell someone is a newbie, I'm cheering them on in my head. I don't think I've ever judged them for trying to better their lives through fitness. I know it's easier said then done but it is really just you going in there and not giving two (you know what) about what others will think of you.

tephanies1234

Check your gym for pre-weighted barbells. They are usually sitting on a rack that looks like a pyramid and start at 20lbs and go up by 5lbs until about 65lbs. You could start with those then move to the Olympic bar once your past 65 lbs on your lifts. Another thing to do so your not looking at youtube videos of exercises in the gym is make a plan in your head 1/2 hour before you get there, know the exercises your going to do and check form with videos before hand so you're not wasting time while you're there. That'll help with the walking back and forth- clueless look, although you're doing 5x5, so things can't get more simple than that. Lastly,....get over yourself. No one's really paying attention to you, they're most likely checking themselves out in the mirrors.

zoomtech16

Here's what you do because I am so awkward at the gym. You LOOK like you know what you're doing. Get this serious face down pat and wear it all the time. The face should say if you even look in my direction my glare will burn holes through you!

Then when you need to watch a video for form just pretend you are resting. Go all the way and sit down, grab your water bottle and watch that video for however the heck long you want to! Then you lift those tiny weights like a BOSS because you ARE a boss.

Wear something that makes you feel good, and I always wear makeup bc I have to feel confident. I look weird with my hair up too, so I leave a bunch of my bangs hanging. It looks good plus I can use them to hide my face.

I am dead serious. This is what I do.

oilphins

Just like everyone here is saying, nobody is looking at you and saying anything at all. When I go to the gym, the last thing I care about is what anybody else is doing. Don't feel bad because sometimes when they make it obvious I see guys at the gym trying to lift waaay too much weight and they look so foolish and drop weights and grunt. I think that's more embarrassing the you worrying about not lifting enough.

IsaackGMOON

Unless you're about to deadlift 34328942Kg or bench 432904823Kg then no one really cares.

shor0814

So what exactly about you is so funny looking that people stare at you?

lpatriquin

The more you go, the easier it gets. People really are too into what they are doing to pay much attention to what you are doing.
If you are struggling with an exercise, ask for help, there is nothing wrong with that.
Don't be intimidated by others, you belong in there just as much as anyone else does, liftin those weights, big or small. In no time, you'll work your way up to bigger ones.
No confidence? Fake it, it'll come.
I know what it's like to feel intimidated in the gym. I felt that way too in the beginning. Now I feel proud to be able to go in and use the machines and lift heavier weights and feel strong... but I had to force some "fake" confidence for a while. It works.

hekla90

Ummmm if you see people staring at you could it because they notice you dogging them and are staring back? Because that is awkwardness I would notice and stare at if someone is just constantly staring and watching everyone else. I hate to burst your bubble but I can almost guarantee you aren't so special or awkward that people are staring unless you're doing really bizarre things. Also if you just wander around and stare at people, yeah I'd probably stare at you like what on earth are you doing. It's unsettling if someone is just hovering around doing nothing, you might be making people uncomfortable. It sounds like you need a plan so you don't just wandering, stop looking at everyone else and look in the mirror so you can work on your form. (But if you're doing stronglifts, you have a plan!)

No one, I repeat no one cares what weight you are lifting. I see people lift lightweights all the time. I'm healing a hand injury and only loaded up 40 lbs today to squat with on a military base where I was the only female in the entire gym. Annnnd Nobody cared. Either get over it or find stuff to can do at home. No one can get confidence for you. Either way stronglifts starts at the bar that's how the program works. You don't me crease the weight until you get the form down. That's a huge point of the program. So you're supposed to be lifting light until your form is perfect.

wonko221

BabyBloodheart wrote: »

But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

Maybe those folks are looking at you, and maybe it's you being self-conscious. Either way, keep doing what you're doing. You're on this journey for your own health, and their looks should not interfere with that.

And if it helps, keep this in mind - if you really stand out, that means that all the consistent gym-goers will take notice of your progress. They'll see you start, keeping going, and getting strong. In time, there will be people who are proud of you. There will even be people who look to you for inspiration for their own difficult journey.

Just keep at it!

mccindy72

if you think that having your hair pulled back is a reason for people to stare at you, there is a projection issue here. In a gym setting, most of the women with hair of any length are going to have it pulled back. That's not a reason that anyone is going to stare at you. Neither is using lower-end weights. People just starting out often do. No one expects everyone using the weights to be experts and to use the big weights.
You need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or thinking and just worry about yourself.

Verdenal

I wear comfortable, not overly revealing clothes, go during quiet periods and try to remember that most people are interested only in their own workout.

alexandriasundstrom

I have almost 150 pounds to lose, I have very little arm strength so I'm lifting small weights or an empty bar, and my face is so round and dripping sweat that wearing my hair up basically makes me look like a shiny beach ball. But. I walk in with my headphones blasting music that makes me feel like a bad *kitten*, I rock my best can't-touch-this face, and I act like I belong there, because dammit, I do.
I get stared at plenty, and I have always been afraid, but I just pretend I don't notice. Or I stare back meanly until they look away. If all else fails, I convince myself they're staring because I look so sexy when I lift my empty bar, they can't help it. Fake it until you make it

SJKirk51912

Last fall I was in a similar position. I was 250 lbs and starting SL 5x5. I assumed people were saying "look at this fat girl trying to lift..." Leading up to my first workout I watched form videos like crazy. Then my first day at the gym I got on a treadmill that overlooked the free weigh area. I observed where everything was so I wasn't completely lost when I needed to change exercises or find plate or whatever...

Then I took a deep breath and went for it. I felt ridiculous squating the 45lb bar beside people who were squating 100-200lbs. But I stuck with it and each time I would add 5 lbs. The second day I thought I looked for ridiculous adding 2.5lb on each end. BUT if anyone wanted to judge me then that is there problem!

I still watching form vidoes to make sure I was still doing it right. Eventually people would recognize me and talk to me and help. And all the newbies that entered the gym I noticed and may have looked at them but I also could have cared less about them not being able to lift more then 5lbs because I remember the feeling. I promise no one is looking at you and thinking the things that you think they are!