How do I stop feeling so self-conscious at the gym?

It sounds like you know what you need to be doing so just keep doing it! Just ignore everyone else, assume they don't even know you're there. Are you listening to head phones? cause that really helps me get in to it.

You're pretty much gonna have to suck it up and keep going until you're moving big weights and your form is awesome.

Just like everybody else on the planet.

I recently started at a gym and I find everyone else is busy with their own stuff and unless i am wandering back and forth looking lost or hopeless, nobody gives me a 2nd glance.

JoRocka wrote: »

Quiet frankly no one cares about you.

You're doing the right things... Go ahead and do the things you you're doing. You'll be alright.

Very much this. At my old commercial gym, I paid very little attention to what anyone else was doing, and while I occasionally got stares, I just tuned it out.

At my current gym, well, we do pay a fair bit of attention to each other. But then, for the powerlifters, we are teammates and do help each other out with a spot or whatever else we need. And watching anyone attempt a new pr lift and cheering them on is par for the course.

I just recently started at the gym, need to lose 125 lbs. I can only do 20-30 minutes on the treadmill, but I go and do what I can. The 1st time there, a very young muscular gentleman saw and and praised me for being there. That is the reason I keep going.

BabyBloodheart wrote: »

But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

I get that feeling that everyone is looking at you and judging you, being almost painfully shy myself. But anyone looking at you in almost every gym is either not actually looking at you (mentally prepping for their next set, whatever) or respecting you for showing up. No one but you cares about how much weight you are lifting. Promise

BabyBloodheart wrote: »

But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

So ignore them. Also just because they're looking at you doesn't mean they're judging you or thinking about you. Sometimes I catch myself 'looking' at people but it's more that I've zoned out and staring into middle distance. Or I'm thinking "oh I like her shoes". I don't pay attention to what sets people are doing or how much they're lifting. My experience is that most people at gyms are either disinterested in other people or are friendly and are thinking positively towards everyone else who has showed up.

BabyBloodheart wrote: »

But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

Let's look at the level of detail we're talking about here - you think you're being stared at because you look awkward especially with your hair tied back? Really? The other gym goers finally get a few spare minutes away from screaming kids and other obligations, manage to fit a [sometimes] difficult workout in the middle of an already challenging day, but now they'll spend their time focused on someone because she's got her hair tied back or some other reason related to how she looks?

Ok I may well be way out in left field here but;
Have you thought of using the lighter bar, or even hand weights, until you get your form correct? Common sense says it would better to have correct form before progressing with weight, and it sounds as though the weight is stopping your form from progressing.

As to how you look, maybe it is gym etiquette that is preventing people approaching you with help, but people are keeping a gentle eye on you for if you get into trouble. Ask for some tips, I bet you will get them.

I am a diminutive old codger and no one cares when I trudge in to do my version of 5x5 with, sometimes incredibly light, hand weights ( only use an oly bar for dead lifts, and that is a bare bar)

Just trying to give you a different slant on things.

Cheers, h.

middlehaitch wrote: »

Ok I may well be way out in left field here but;
Have you thought of using the lighter bar, or even hand weights, until you get your form correct? Common sense says it would better to have correct form before progressing with weight, and it sounds as though the weight is stopping your form from progressing.

As to how you look, maybe it is gym etiquette that is preventing people approaching you with help, but people are keeping a gentle eye on you for if you get into trouble. Ask for some tips, I bet you will get them.

I am a diminutive old codger and no one cares when I trudge in to do my version of 5x5 with, sometimes incredibly light, hand weights ( only use an oly bar for dead lifts, and that is a bare bar)

Just trying to give you a different slant on things.

Cheers, h.

This.

I have an easy solution to the "my form is terrible part"....practice in the mirror at home first! practice all the time, "faff" around and check videos at home, psych yourself up before you get there, or in the car before you go in. Then when you go in - get to business, focus on yourself - because that's what everyone else is there to do (mostly)

Find your resting *kitten* face...j/k. Honestly, just keep going and doing what you're doing, anyone who is paying attention to you isn't doing what they're supposed to be doing, which is working out and paying attention to their own lifts. I started out lifting with literally like 5 pounds and empty bars, everyone has to start somewhere.

OP you've had some great responses.

At some point you are going to have to stop caring what other people think. No matter how 'funny looking' you are, I'm sure no-one is really that interested in what you are doing. I can't speak for everyone else but if I were to see you in my gym I would be happy to see you starting out. I probably wouldn't offer assistance as gym etiquette is usually to keep your head down and get on with your own workout BUT if you were to ask, I'd be very happy to share what I have learned with you. I occasionally chat to people between sets if they look open to it and they are doing something that I am interested in and I would like some advice.

FYI, I have just done my workout with the empty bar and it didnt even occur to me to care what anyone else thought.

My concern is that you aren't using correct form. That's a sure fire way to hurt yourself. Does your gym offer free inductions? Even if you don't have a full personal training session I am sure a member of staff will check your form for you. I will occasionally ask someone to either check my form or spot me if I am close to my max.

PS, can we have a pic?

Check your gym for pre-weighted barbells. They are usually sitting on a rack that looks like a pyramid and start at 20lbs and go up by 5lbs until about 65lbs. You could start with those then move to the Olympic bar once your past 65 lbs on your lifts. Another thing to do so your not looking at youtube videos of exercises in the gym is make a plan in your head 1/2 hour before you get there, know the exercises your going to do and check form with videos before hand so you're not wasting time while you're there. That'll help with the walking back and forth- clueless look, although you're doing 5x5, so things can't get more simple than that. Lastly,....get over yourself. No one's really paying attention to you, they're most likely checking themselves out in the mirrors.