"Too heavy" he said to me

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  • yvonnelefave
    yvonnelefave Posts: 1 Member
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    dragthewaters91 wrote: »
    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

    If you want to lose weight it should be for you, not for some d-bag.

    They're absolutely right! Be who you want to be and don't guilt yourself into changing for someone else; you can't maintain changes that way. But it never hurts to get a kick start. You're on the right track :)
    Ps: he sounds like a jerk.
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear this. Trust me when I say you're better off without him. Please know that you'll eventually find the right man who will love you for you and not be so concerned with the superficial.
  • donna70s
    donna70s Posts: 84 Member
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    Not a nice thing to say but Credit where it's due he had the decency to tell you.
  • sgfoster110
    sgfoster110 Posts: 57 Member
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    Too bad. I know you would have worked on your weight! He needs to love you for who you are. You are concious of your weight, no one has to tell you. Hang in there. You will meet someone who loves you the way you are.
  • jsmestflowers
    jsmestflowers Posts: 52 Member
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    I'm gonna give it to you straight..as a man.. There are women that are heavier than I would go out with (I'm totally married, so really not applicable) Now here is the thing.. I'm not blind, I am not going to all of a sudden have a realization that so and so is miracle to big for me! That's just stupid. The guy saw what you looked like and for months was ok..then he just all of a sudden...please. He is a tool plain and simple. Your better off without him. And the sick part is when you lose the weight you want, you probably would not want the loser anyway..really..not kidding. I have seen several women, got with a loser cause they were heavy and thought that was all they could get, only to latter lose the weight AND the loser :) Stay strong woman..and that dude. He is a fool.
  • jsmestflowers
    jsmestflowers Posts: 52 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    In your case I'm guessing he worried what his buddies thought, romancing you.
    Real men don't worry about silly crap like that, my buddies support me, or they can go to hell. Sounds harsh, sorry, but that's real man stuff there.
    This guy was obviously not one.

  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
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    Unpopular opinion alert....
    I actually thought his text was tasteful. It hurt to read, I'm sure, but he was trying to be gentle.
    Looking at the other side, perhaps he enjoyed spending time with you so much that he wanted to try getting past the physical part, but then decided it was a deal breaker for him. He should have made this decision earlier for sure, but 4 months really isn't that long in the scheme of things.

    Pick yourself up and move on. If you want to lose weight, great, but it shouldn't have anything to do with revenge or anyone else.

  • phildog49
    phildog49 Posts: 31 Member
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    I'm guessing he just used that as an excuse... at least you found out he was an *kitten* early enough.
  • Frankenbarbie01
    Frankenbarbie01 Posts: 432 Member
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    tcarmen85 wrote: »
    This was the tex I received from him "I really do enjoy hanging out with you and you are lots of fun. There's a lot of characteristics about you that I do like. However I'm afraid of myself. I've never dated anyone heavier than me. I'm not sure how I would handle that in the long run. That may not be fair to you. that may not be fair to you. And perhaps I'm the one with the problem.
    karyabc wrote: »
    :/ please elaborate the exact words he told you , like "yeah you're actually too heave so no thank you? "

    uuhhhggg!!!.....His comments and actions say waaaay more about him than it does you! As awkward and difficult as you feel right now, this individual is really not worth your time or effort. I've been in that position too, he said flat out "...why don't you lose some weight?" and that was in a long term relationship. The only advise I can give is you gotta love yourself FIRST. Only then can you make the difficult decisions as to what you'll accept in your life. If I was still in that old relationship (..with myself) and my ex said that to me today?....I'm pretty sure I'd punch him in the neck, throw his crap out in the street, celebrate the demise of a toxic and unhealthy relationship and no looking back. Trust me, when you love and accept yourself more you will attract the right kind of love, and when it happens its amazing!
  • cazting53
    cazting53 Posts: 4 Member
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    What arrogance! Tell him you were doing him a favour hanging out with such a small minded man. And now you're on the look out for a much bigger person who isn't afraid of a little booty !
  • fieryaries
    fieryaries Posts: 3 Member
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    That sucks. To each his own right? Some people are shallow. Nothing we can do about that. Glad for you he was upfront before you invested too much (feeling). TRUST me, you will find a guy who will appreciate you for you. You will find a guy who sticks it out through thick and thin (no pun intended and I am being a little funny because I'm a big girl too :) ).
  • pinkgumdrop123
    pinkgumdrop123 Posts: 262 Member
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    dragthewaters91 wrote: »
    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

    If you want to lose weight it should be for you, not for some d-bag.

    +1
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
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    tcarmen85 wrote: »
    After 4 months of constantly seeing each other (no sex involved).... He decided I was too heavy to have a relationship with me... Big shock since he saw what I looked like before he met me. Sooo confused?!?! We had so much in common and alway had a blast when we were together.

    shallow hal.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
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    Lol yes
    urloved33 wrote: »
    tcarmen85 wrote: »
    After 4 months of constantly seeing each other (no sex involved).... He decided I was too heavy to have a relationship with me... Big shock since he saw what I looked like before he met me. Sooo confused?!?! We had so much in common and alway had a blast when we were together.

    shallow hal.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
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    Yess tks
    pinkgumdrop123 wrote: »
    dragthewaters91 wrote: »
    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

    If you want to lose weight it should be for you, not for some d-bag.

    +1

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
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    LOL! I love humor! Thank you
    fieryaries wrote: »
    That sucks. To each his own right? Some people are shallow. Nothing we can do about that. Glad for you he was upfront before you invested too much (feeling). TRUST me, you will find a guy who will appreciate you for you. You will find a guy who sticks it out through thick and thin (no pun intended and I am being a little funny because I'm a big girl too :) ).

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
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    Lol! Well is actually a huge booty lol thank you!
    cazting53 wrote: »
    What arrogance! Tell him you were doing him a favour hanging out with such a small minded man. And now you're on the look out for a much bigger person who isn't afraid of a little booty !

  • 6502programmer
    6502programmer Posts: 515 Member
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    Not all guys are like that, though you're lucky to find out before you became even more emotionally invested in him.. My wife has been a bigger gal ever since I met her, but she has put on fifty pounds more since having our son and being diagnosed with PCOS and hypothyroidism. I don't love her in spite of her weight--I her regardless of it. I am so proud of her that she's down 25 pounds since 7/1, and do everything I can to support her in her weight loss!
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
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    Thank you so much for sharing and giving me hope
  • Betsey206
    Betsey206 Posts: 34 Member
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    His loss ... you have many friends here who will luv you found who you are . ... a beautiful person inside and out.

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