"Too heavy" he said to me
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Thank goodness the relationship had not gone any further before he made this decision. It hurts now but could have been worse. Good for you to move on and take care of yourself. (((((hugs)))))0
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Thank you for the hugs I needed that0
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oh_happy_day wrote: »You dodged a bullet. He's not worth your time or energy. Don't try to figure him out.
Absolutely! I had a similar experience with my last relationship. He said he wasn't attracted to me because I was "too big". I responded with "There's the door Honey. I hope you find someone that fits your long list of standards and is genuinely interested in you instead of your bank balance." He came back a few days later with an apology. In hindsight I shouldn't have given him a second chance because he was the same shallow, selfish fool four years later.
Appreciate this bloke's honesty but, don't look back. He's the one missing out here, not you.
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Just wanted to add that I saw my shallow selfish fool a few months ago (over 7 years after we broke up). A lot has happened since but, it was rather satisfying to see that he has gained the weight I've lost.0
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This was the tex I received from him "I really do enjoy hanging out with you and you are lots of fun. There's a lot of characteristics about you that I do like. However I'm afraid of myself. I've never dated anyone heavier than me. I'm not sure how I would handle that in the long run. That may not be fair to you. that may not be fair to you. And perhaps I'm the one with the problem.
please elaborate the exact words he told you , like "yeah you're actually too heave so no thank you? "
It seems to me that he's possibly insecure about his masculinity because he most likely has beliefs like, a man should weigh more than a woman, be stronger than a woman, be taller than a woman, etc.0 -
Thank you and funny!!! That's awesome that he gained weight!LadyLots2Lose wrote: »Just wanted to add that I saw my shallow selfish fool a few months ago (over 7 years after we broke up). A lot has happened since but, it was rather satisfying to see that he has gained the weight I've lost.
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Thank you for you commentMondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »This was the tex I received from him "I really do enjoy hanging out with you and you are lots of fun. There's a lot of characteristics about you that I do like. However I'm afraid of myself. I've never dated anyone heavier than me. I'm not sure how I would handle that in the long run. That may not be fair to you. that may not be fair to you. And perhaps I'm the one with the problem. please elaborate the exact words he told you , like "yeah you're actually too heave so no thank you? "
It seems to me that he's possibly insecure about his masculinity because he most likely has beliefs like, a man should weigh more than a woman, be stronger than a woman, be taller than a woman, etc.0 -
Ugh, hate time wasters! Girl spend your time on something or someone that is not flaky. Good riddance0
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You definitely dodged a bullet with that shallow little fool
You are beautiful - regardless of whether you're 100lbs overweight or hitting your goal, you are beautiful. The best and only thing you can do for this loser is pity him. He has lost out.
Best of luck - and remember, do this for you and only you.0 -
His loss! Use it for motivation but do it for you and noone else 0
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Well done, you just shed a tonne of dead weight in the time it took to read a text
You don't need any one that superficial in your life. You can lose the weight for you if that is what YOU want to do but don't do it because of what he said.0 -
Thank you, and yes I am doing it for my healthRuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Well done, you just shed a tonne of dead weight in the time it took to read a text
You don't need any one that superficial in your life. You can lose the weight for you if that is what YOU want to do but don't do it because of what he said.
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Yes I will, thanksnatboosh69 wrote: »His loss! Use it for motivation but do it for you and noone else
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What a loser.
You can do so much better.0 -
Thank you! And okay I will do it for me only!PinkPixiexox wrote: »You definitely dodged a bullet with that shallow little fool
You are beautiful - regardless of whether you're 100lbs overweight or hitting your goal, you are beautiful. The best and only thing you can do for this loser is pity him. He has lost out.
Best of luck - and remember, do this for you and only you.
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Errrr, so we are berating this chap because he was honest with you about his preferences and ultimately decided it was better not to string you along and not treat you as a quick lay?
I get that it hurts and yes, he might be a complete tool in reality but it's hard to know for sure. Maybe he did find you attractive and thought he could get passed the weight issue with time? From your profile pic you look pretty to me.0 -
wow. My current boyfriend of (4+yrs) says that the reason why he won't marry me is because I am too fat. He has been saying this since we've started dating. (by the way he isn't fit and used to be fat). Through out many years I have been trying to loose weight and get thin so I can be good enough to get married to. It's years of stress not loosing the weight which in turn makes me put on more. Though we are still together I have come to the realization that if we break up (even over my weight) its not the worst think in the world, and you know what? - That was the key I lost 30lbs last year, because I WANTED TO, not because I wanted to FOR HIM. When a guy makes you feel like your not attractive enough to be with; sometimes that gives us the fear that every other guy will feel the same way. When these people say you DODGED A BULLET. Trust me, you did. It's not worth it in the long run. Further more think about it like this; are you upset about what you lost (a guy w/ faults who made you feel heavy) or are you upset about what you think you had or could of had? That guy is a jerk there is some one out there for you heavy or light. Do this for you.0
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dragthewaters91 wrote: »Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!
If you want to lose weight it should be for you, not for some d-bag.
He doesn't deserve you. Make yourself healthy and happy and the right one will accept you and love you for who you are, not what you look like.
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Thank youdragthewaters91 wrote: »Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!
If you want to lose weight it should be for you, not for some d-bag.
He doesn't deserve you. Make yourself healthy and happy and the right one will accept you and love you for who you are, not what you look like.
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Thank you so much for sharing, I will get over this sadness/anger I feel towards him!makeitfun_thisisfun wrote: »wow. My current boyfriend of (4+yrs) says that the reason why he won't marry me is because I am too fat. He has been saying this since we've started dating. (by the way he isn't fit and used to be fat). Through out many years I have been trying to loose weight and get thin so I can be good enough to get married to. It's years of stress not loosing the weight which in turn makes me put on more. Though we are still together I have come to the realization that if we break up (even over my weight) its not the worst think in the world, and you know what? - That was the key I lost 30lbs last year, because I WANTED TO, not because I wanted to FOR HIM. When a guy makes you feel like your not attractive enough to be with; sometimes that gives us the fear that every other guy will feel the same way. When these people say you DODGED A BULLET. Trust me, you did. It's not worth it in the long run. Further more think about it like this; are you upset about what you lost (a guy w/ faults who made you feel heavy) or are you upset about what you think you had or could of had? That guy is a jerk there is some one out there for you heavy or light. Do this for you.
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After 4 months of constantly seeing each other (no sex involved).... He decided I was too heavy to have a relationship with me... Big shock since he saw what I looked like before he met me. Sooo confused?!?! We had so much in common and alway had a blast when we were together.
90% of dating is chemistry. If your body size doesn't do it for him, be thankful he was honest with you this early, and didn't try to "stick it out".0 -
He could be using your weight as an excuse or he may have simply been honest. Maybe physical attraction just wasn't there and weight could have been a factor in that. Whatever the case, clearly he wasn't the right one for you.0
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Yes thank youcoreyreichle wrote: »After 4 months of constantly seeing each other (no sex involved).... He decided I was too heavy to have a relationship with me... Big shock since he saw what I looked like before he met me. Sooo confused?!?! We had so much in common and alway had a blast when we were together.
90% of dating is chemistry. If your body size doesn't do it for him, be thankful he was honest with you this early, and didn't try to "stick it out".
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Than youNeed2Exerc1se wrote: »He could be using your weight as an excuse or he may have simply been honest. Maybe physical attraction just wasn't there and weight could have been a factor in that. Whatever the case, clearly he wasn't the right one for you.
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What a jack *kitten*! I'm sorry! I have been there and done that. And I was skinny. He's obviously not for u! Move on! I wasted 2.5 years of my youth on a man like that. Smh0
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Lol thank you! and I will hopefully soonNicoleMartinelli8 wrote: »What a jack *kitten*! I'm sorry! I have been there and done that. And I was skinny. He's obviously not for u! Move on! I wasted 2.5 years of my youth on a man like that. Smh
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That's his problem, not yours. And if you're on here to lose weight, when you do, don't go back and date him. The petty, vindictive part of me says text him a picture when you're at your goal and say 'see what you missed?' but that's just me. ^_^;0
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Thank you but it still hurts, because he is not skinny he has a big stomach and I could care less about his weightErrrr, so we are berating this chap because he was honest with you about his preferences and ultimately decided it was better not to string you along and not treat you as a quick lay?
I get that it hurts and yes, he might be a complete tool in reality but it's hard to know for sure. Maybe he did find you attractive and thought he could get passed the weight issue with time? From your profile pic you look pretty to me.
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Here's a twist. My hubby prefers larger women, always has. I was worried he would be less attracted to me as I lost weight. Thankfully, not. We have a lot invested in each other and we're constant friends and companions.
In your case I'm guessing he worried what his buddies thought, romancing you. Shallow. Short-sighted.
Indeed there is someone out there, maybe more than one, who will be attracted to you as a whole person.0
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