Unfit bosses
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You don't have to eat what they do :]
If you want to attend these dinners, by all means do! Don't cut off your social life for the sake of eating healthily. You'll just have to learn to make 'better choices' for your calorie allowance! Keep tracking and you'll be fine.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.0 -
So in other words it's better to be a lackey to get ahead? People in most settings know who the "brown noser" is and there's lack of respect by many because they seem to not work as hard due to favoritism with the boss.kat_princess12 wrote: »These decisions can be difficult because it may not be a case of being "forced" to go along in order to keep a job, more that in many cases promotions and such tend to become available to those who have schmoozed a little with the bosses. Since this will always be unstated, it can't usually be taken up with HR with any success. So the decision becomes whether to focus on weight loss or career. I second those who have said to choose carefully what you eat, or to order one drink and nurse it for the evening. These are habits that will be useful after you have lost the desired weight and are maintaining, too.
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kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would it relate to their gender at all?
If she sees that they are not giving her a ride and taking her drinking to be friendly but to get into her pants (if this is the case), it may be easier for her to turn down their invitations.
What? This is like a train derailing........kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Yes, it was a very heterocentric and othering question.kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would it relate to their gender at all?
I considered adding "lesbian" but since I have seen this behavior often from het men and never from lesbians, I didn't.
And it's crashed.0 -
I would say if you're going to dinner out side of work hours treat it like any other social event. Either choose to go but be healthy or don't go at all.
If I was in the situation I would go to dinner but drink sparkling wine rather than beer and eat something healthy or eat less during another meal.
I have a work night out next weekend which isn't compatible with my diet. I'm taking the car so I can leave when I want and so I'm not tempted to drink calorific beers and will have a super light lunch so I can have a larger meal than I usually would.0 -
If you are invited to dinner, you can always say No. If they are offering to give you a ride and this involves a stop for dinner, find another to get home. If you enjoy having dinner with them, or feel it will help advance your career, make lower calorie choices, eat less, drink less, or plan for these calories in advance.
If you expect your boss to get in shape for you to lose weight, good luck with that...0 -
afranklin85 wrote: »I would say if you're going to dinner out side of work hours treat it like any other social event. Either choose to go but be healthy or don't go at all.
If I was in the situation I would go to dinner but drink sparkling wine rather than beer and eat something healthy or eat less during another meal.
I have a work night out next weekend which isn't compatible with my diet. I'm taking the car so I can leave when I want and so I'm not tempted to drink calorific beers and will have a super light lunch so I can have a larger meal than I usually would.
This exactly. If my boss decides he wants to buy us all lunch, I order something that will fit in my calories, or I say no thank you that day. He never takes it personally.
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Seriously? They force you to eat and drink? I think you need to forgo the excuses and take responsibility for yourself.0
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You're always going to be faced with social situations where you have to put on your big girl pants and eat/drink what you want instead of going with the party flow...that's on you, always.0
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If this is a problem for you... take some actions.
1. Don't accept the ride in the first place - be your own person, you are a grown up, figure out how to get yourself to and from work.
2. Get a ride to work, but tell them you are not going to join them for dinner. Ask them to take you home or find a way to get yourself home.
3. Join them for dinner but make your own food and drink choices that fit within your calorie goals.
4. Get a new job.
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kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
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Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
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Happens all the time at my job too, where there is constantly cakes, sweets, cookies, chocolate etc being brought into work and always sit on the table next to my desk as i'm in the middle. Always being asked out for drinks/meals too. As most of the time the drinks are on a Friday I tend to pass as I'm usually going to the gym and they're spur of the moment aswell, if I know in advance, I drive to work to ensure I can't drink to cut down the boozy calories, if I go for the meal, i'll look in advance at the menu and pick a lighter option.
Will power is key, nobody can tell you what you want to do other than yourself.0 -
Having been in this position before (as a male, going to eat with employees), it is very important. It doesn't even matter what your intentions are, it matter how other people perceive your intentions. It's very easy to get into serious trouble over silly things.Why would this even matter? This is silly.
I just made sure never to go out to eat with female employees alone. Not that they would have taken it awry, but it doesn't hurt to be cautious.
That said, I didn't get that impression from the OP.
@karenhannahmae If you LIKE going to dinner with them, then continue. You can plan your day around the trips, or just eat something light. If you don't want to drink (lord knows, mixed drinks add up quick), then don't! Most people aren't offended if you decline alcohol (I was teetotal until this year, so I have plenty of experience there).
If you don't want to go out, just decline. If they try to pressure you, then you may have an HR issue.0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes, and so I asked her the gender of the ride givers.
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It can be hard to turn down work-related social invitations, and often it ends up impacting your professional security/advancement as well. Plus the pain the butt factor for having to get another ride. Not to scare the OP. I just don't understand why so many posters don't understand why the social pressure to go is legitimate.
Anyway, you might consider just coming clean about why you don't want to attend (assuming that you don't). They may actually respect an excuse related to 1. wanting to be up early to exercise, or 2. making healthier choices about food and drink. But does this happen very often? I notice you really don't have much weight to lose, so perhaps you can find some middle ground and tag along some of the time (making responsible choices when you do), so your work friend don't feel totally cut out.0 -
Sounds like a personal problem best left out of someone else's weight loss questions.kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
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She doesn't have to even turn the invitations down. It shouldn't be so difficult to attend functions just not fall to the peer pressure to partake in the festivities. Hell, you can even fake partaking if you must - but at some point, you need to start adulting and have some accountability for yourself.0
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I just don't understand this scenario, specifically the ride thing. Are we talking about a ride home? How do you normally get to and from work?
I would not want to be in a situation where waiting for an offered ride from a superior was my normal way home, it seems really odd.
Work-related social events can be important to attend, but it's not really clear who is at these events or what they are. Right now it seems like the answer is just get home a different way unless you are enjoying the events and if so figure out what you can eat within your calories (and be careful with the drinks in any work situation).0
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