Unfit bosses
Options
Replies
-
kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »I just don't understand this scenario, specifically the ride thing. Are we talking about a ride home? How do you normally get to and from work?
I would not want to be in a situation where waiting for an offered ride from a superior was my normal way home, it seems really odd.
Work-related social events can be important to attend, but it's not really clear who is at these events or what they are. Right now it seems like the answer is just get home a different way unless you are enjoying the events and if so figure out what you can eat within your calories (and be careful with the drinks in any work situation).
Agreed. It seems like the main thing is that they were offering rides to and from work to make things easier and/or cheaper for you. If that doesn't work out because they want to do things before dropping you back off (eat, drink, whatever), it seems like that scheduling arrangement isn't working out for you.
And if you want an easy out, say that you've changed your schedule and you don't have time after work and need to be there immediately, so thanks for offering the ride, but I need to drive myself. Or whatever. If nothing else, say you need to get to the gym.
I'd be annoyed by the huge time suck it would be to always go out for dinner after work. I need me time...0 -
Heh, I was more squicked by the use of the word "superiors" for work colleagues than I was by the rest. Cultural differences, huh? ;-)
Commit to your calorie goals OP, don't get sidetracked by outside influences.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
0 -
Fall back on semantics in an attempt to obfuscate the irrelevancy of this entire line of thinking. Textbook.kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
0 -
I'm a 55 year old performance manager. I would LOVE to have dinner and drinks with my bosses so they learn what a fabulous leader and producer I am. If I didn't want to have dinner and drinks with them, I would say I have a date tonight (With Big Bang Theory TV show at 8 PM on NBC.) or whatever. You can post it in your phone to make it official. Would you mind dropping me at the train station?0
-
kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
Wait, so if a male employee invites a female employee out with the rest of their coworkers, he wants to hook up? Especially if they are sharing a ride?
First of all, she never said her coworkers were male, and if she did, I missed it. Secondly, it is possible for two people of the opposite sex (and same sex) to be platonic friends, go out together and not "hook up". Not every guy who invites a female out wants to "hook up".0 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »Heh, I was more squicked by the use of the word "superiors" for work colleagues than I was by the rest. Cultural differences, huh? ;-)
Commit to your calorie goals OP, don't get sidetracked by outside influences.
Wait, superiors means co-workers? I thought OP meant bosses or people higher up in her department. Either way, I stand by my advice - if you don't want to eat/drink, don't.0 -
NoIdea101NoIdea wrote: »What do their eating habits have to do with anything-they aren't force feeding you whatever they eat are they? And if you don't want to go out with them, just don't go out with them. You're an adult, you make your own decisions right?? If it is a case of you know if you accept a lift off them and will be forced to go to some place because they make an 'executive' decision that is where they are detouring after work, don't grab a lift with them, get the bus or something.
I don't get why this is a problem.
+1
This is not that hard, OP. You're just making it complicated for yourself by overthinking it, or you're making excuses not to stay within your calorie goal. Just don't drink much, if at all, and choose lower-calorie options.
Or just tell them no. It won't be the end of the world. You're all adults.0 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »Heh, I was more squicked by the use of the word "superiors" for work colleagues than I was by the rest. Cultural differences, huh? ;-)
Commit to your calorie goals OP, don't get sidetracked by outside influences.
Wait, superiors means co-workers? I thought OP meant bosses or people higher up in her department. Either way, I stand by my advice - if you don't want to eat/drink, don't.
That's how I took it -- her bosses or supervisors, manager, whatever.
Which makes the hook-up assumption extra skeevy.0 -
Yes I took it to mean bosses too! It's just that I haven't heard them called superiors since the 70s. They may be the boss at work, but they are never superior. As I said, just a cultural difference - like we don't call people Sir or Madam because it always sounds sarcastic (unless they are nobility).0
-
kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
So, literally every woman I invite to lunch I'm viewing as a potential sexual conquest? What am I implying when I take my mostly female staff to eat in celebration of our busy season ending? My wife must be furious at all my attempted gang-****ing!
*Note to self: buy flowers for wife on way home.0 -
She said her bosses live close by...sounds as if these bosses are riding in the same car...maybe her bosses live together...married...dating...
OP...either find something on the menu that fits or walk/public transportation and go home.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »I just don't understand this scenario, specifically the ride thing. Are we talking about a ride home? How do you normally get to and from work?
Not everyone drives a car. People actually walk. Some people can't afford a car. Maybe it's nicer to have a ride when it's 100 degrees out or 1 degree. What not to understand?
What in my question made you think that I am unaware of modes of transportation other than driving? The question stands. (The question is how easy is it for her to just say no to the ride and if not is it a transportation thing or a career-furtherance thing or what.)
(Personally I normally take public transportation, but sometimes bike. I never drive to work, since parking is insanely expensive.)0 -
My bosses often want to take me out for lunch or dinners some days I eat what ever I want and others soup or salad0
-
tincanonastring wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
So, literally every woman I invite to lunch I'm viewing as a potential sexual conquest? What am I implying when I take my mostly female staff to eat in celebration of our busy season ending? My wife must be furious at all my attempted gang-****ing!
*Note to self: buy flowers for wife on way home.
As I repeatedly said, I distinguish between team/group/"everyone" activities and a male boss offering a female subordinate a ride home which appears to be conditional on her going out drinking with him.
As for the OP - I asked a question to clarify the situation.
0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes, and so I asked her the gender of the ride givers.
For some reason, presumably something in your past, you are projecting. Because of that you have hijacked the thread.0 -
karenhannahmae wrote: »Don't get me wrong, I love my superiors. They generally care about my wellbeing, but not for the eating habits. Since they live near, they usually offer to give me a ride. But I hate it when they have spontaneous dinners and drinking sessions and I'm just internally forced to tag along. It's not that unhealthy, but it doesn't help in my weight loss journey either. Help!
1. Take care of your own transportation.
2. Ask before you accept the ride if they will be making stops or taking you straight home. If they say they want to go out, you can politely decline the ride.
2. If they tend to always want to go to the same places you could think about it and choose a few items that fits your calorie goal pretty well so you can go along comfortably. Most restaurant have salads. A lot of resuarants have lower calorie choices. Look at grilled items, things without cheese or a bunch of sauces. Eat vegetables. You can drink water or something low calorie.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »I just don't understand this scenario, specifically the ride thing. Are we talking about a ride home? How do you normally get to and from work?
Not everyone drives a car. People actually walk. Some people can't afford a car. Maybe it's nicer to have a ride when it's 100 degrees out or 1 degree. What not to understand?
But presumably when OP accepted the job, she had a plan of how she was going to get to and from her workplace. I also don't understand why this is an issue. If one of my coworkers lived near me and offered to car pool, I very likely would not do it because:
1. I don't like being on other people's schedules
2. I don't like being around people until I am properly caffeinated in the morning
It may be nicer to have a ride when weather is a factor, but then in that case I would have to advise OP that she just has to decide what her priorities are.
0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.4K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 983 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions