Unfit bosses
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kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
Wait, so if a male employee invites a female employee out with the rest of their coworkers, he wants to hook up? Especially if they are sharing a ride?
First of all, she never said her coworkers were male, and if she did, I missed it. Secondly, it is possible for two people of the opposite sex (and same sex) to be platonic friends, go out together and not "hook up". Not every guy who invites a female out wants to "hook up".
Don't forget the OP also mentioned "superiors" (plural) so that makes this hypothetical situation that they are offering her this ride with some presumption of "hooking up" even more unlikely, or even more skeevy, depending whether you want to err on the side of logic or malice.
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WinoGelato wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
Wait, so if a male employee invites a female employee out with the rest of their coworkers, he wants to hook up? Especially if they are sharing a ride?
First of all, she never said her coworkers were male, and if she did, I missed it. Secondly, it is possible for two people of the opposite sex (and same sex) to be platonic friends, go out together and not "hook up". Not every guy who invites a female out wants to "hook up".
Don't forget the OP also mentioned "superiors" (plural) so that makes this hypothetical situation that they are offering her this ride with some presumption of "hooking up" even more unlikely, or even more skeevy, depending whether you want to err on the side of logic or malice.
I'm sorry but I don't follow your logic either...
So what you are saying is the absolute only reason her "male" "superiors" invite her is to get in her pants?
Wow... Either I'm just not following or you have some very serious, preconceived, presumptions about all males in general.
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jeffpettis wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
Wait, so if a male employee invites a female employee out with the rest of their coworkers, he wants to hook up? Especially if they are sharing a ride?
First of all, she never said her coworkers were male, and if she did, I missed it. Secondly, it is possible for two people of the opposite sex (and same sex) to be platonic friends, go out together and not "hook up". Not every guy who invites a female out wants to "hook up".
Don't forget the OP also mentioned "superiors" (plural) so that makes this hypothetical situation that they are offering her this ride with some presumption of "hooking up" even more unlikely, or even more skeevy, depending whether you want to err on the side of logic or malice.
I'm sorry but I don't follow your logic either...
So what you are saying is the absolute only reason her "male" "superiors" invite her is to get in her pants?
Wow... Either I'm just not following or you have some very serious, preconceived, presumptions about all males in general.
ME? NO! I am refuting that claim that was made above by another poster. Read the whole thread.
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WinoGelato wrote: »jeffpettis wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
Was there even the remotest hint -- outside of your fevered imagination -- of this being a question of anything other than OP's weight loss? I mean, for that matter, she said she loved the people she was talking about, not that they were predators. Or do you have two answers, one for Stockholm Syndrome and one for not?kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »Are these bosses men? How do you normally deal with unwanted male attention?
Why would this even matter? This is silly.
The motivation for the invitations by her superiors is important. I have one response for team spirit and another for if she's being hit on.
My company has company parties with excessive drinking and eating. I go to be part of the team but pass on the tequila shots and eat moderately. However, if a male coworker was giving me rides home and wanting to take me out drinking, and I suspected his motivation was to get into my pants, and this attention was unwanted, I would decline the ride.
As the OP didn't mention the gender of the ride givers in her OP, I asked.
When I think of men doing favors for women which end in alcohol consumption, that's where my mind goes.
Wow. I would hate to live in your world where guys must all have malicious intent.
I have male coworkers invite me to go out with everyone to the bar almost daily. I don't drink so I just turn them down. Every once in a while I will humor the invitation and go, but I just drink diet soda.
I gave an "everyone" example. That's different. And I don't see wanting to hook up as malicious. Or predatory, as Tex said.
Wait, so if a male employee invites a female employee out with the rest of their coworkers, he wants to hook up? Especially if they are sharing a ride?
First of all, she never said her coworkers were male, and if she did, I missed it. Secondly, it is possible for two people of the opposite sex (and same sex) to be platonic friends, go out together and not "hook up". Not every guy who invites a female out wants to "hook up".
Don't forget the OP also mentioned "superiors" (plural) so that makes this hypothetical situation that they are offering her this ride with some presumption of "hooking up" even more unlikely, or even more skeevy, depending whether you want to err on the side of logic or malice.
I'm sorry but I don't follow your logic either...
So what you are saying is the absolute only reason her "male" "superiors" invite her is to get in her pants?
Wow... Either I'm just not following or you have some very serious, preconceived, presumptions about all males in general.
ME? NO! I am refuting that claim that was made above by another poster. Read the whole thread.
LOL! I didn't mean that toward you... I didn't go back in the quotes far enough I guess. Sorry.
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This must have been a fly by post cause we have yet to hear from the OP again.0
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madhatter2013 wrote: »This must have been a fly by post cause we have yet to hear from the OP again.
Or she decided she didn't want to deal with some of the ridiculous claims in this thread.0 -
madhatter2013 wrote: »This must have been a fly by post cause we have yet to hear from the OP again.
Or she decided she didn't want to deal with some of the ridiculous claims in this thread.
Probably being taken somewhere to eat by her superiors.0 -
karenhannahmae wrote: »Don't get me wrong, I love my superiors. They generally care about my wellbeing, but not for the eating habits. Since they live near, they usually offer to give me a ride. But I hate it when they have spontaneous dinners and drinking sessions and I'm just internally forced to tag along. It's not that unhealthy, but it doesn't help in my weight loss journey either. Help!
Have you voiced this? I take my team out and celebrate victories, but mindful of my intake and theirs.
What do you need help with? Communicating you eating preference to them?
There's nothing strange about your co-workers no matter what level wanting to spend time outside of work. We often spend more time with them than our families, so of course we want to maintain a good relationship with our work families.0 -
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How bout, "No thank you, I have plans".0
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The replies in this thread are hilarious! To clarify, my bosses are women who are around 8-13 years older than me. We all live in the same city so their offer of riding home (and not from home to work) is very convenient as our city is very far from the office. I normally go to work through public transportation, so I only agree out of convenience. Yesterday was definitely a weather issue. And they only decide to eat somewhere when we are already in the car (really spur of the moment!). I know I can simply reject joining them, but since I'm new to the job, I'm also trying to create and have a decent, friendly relationship with them. Since we're only three, and the bosses offer drinks and food to share, it is very difficult not to have what they're having. I once tried to just order water for drinks, but out of a jokingly manner of pressure from one of them, I ended up having their drinks too. It's normally dinner time and I'm quite hungry too, but my issue here is the choice of food and the unnecessary drinking.0
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karenhannahmae wrote: »The replies in this thread are hilarious! To clarify, my bosses are women who are around 8-13 years older than me. We all live in the same city so their offer of riding home (and not from home to work) is very convenient as our city is very far from the office. I normally go to work through public transportation, so I only agree out of convenience. Yesterday was definitely a weather issue. And they only decide to eat somewhere when we are already in the car (really spur of the moment!). I know I can simply reject joining them, but since I'm new to the job, I'm also trying to create and have a decent, friendly relationship with them. Since we're only three, and the bosses offer drinks and food to share, it is very difficult not to have what they're having. I once tried to just order water for drinks, but out of a jokingly manner of pressure from one of them, I ended up having their drinks too. It's normally dinner time and I'm quite hungry too, but my issue here is the choice of food and the unnecessary drinking.
So don't drink and eat sparingly.
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madhatter2013 wrote: »This must have been a fly by post cause we have yet to hear from the OP again.
Or she decided she didn't want to deal with some of the ridiculous claims in this thread.
I didn't claim anything. I asked a question about the situation which the OP has now clarified. I was tired of the speculation and wrote to her and asked her.
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This may be one of the most bizarre posts of the month. To answer the question (that so many ignored in an attempt to make this about power or sex) ...... GO out with the team. Skipping sometimes is OK. Skipping all the times WILL impact your being part of the team and as such your career. When out be clear that you are working on your health and order water or tea or whatever fits your taste. Order the healthiest option or skip or eat what you like and log it. There is a difference between being anti-social and giving in to all peer-pressure.
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So, Cougars?
You were the one who speculated about it. I feel sure everyone else was tired of your doing it, too.kshama2001 wrote: »madhatter2013 wrote: »This must have been a fly by post cause we have yet to hear from the OP again.
Or she decided she didn't want to deal with some of the ridiculous claims in this thread.
I didn't claim anything. I asked a question about the situation which the OP has now clarified. I was tired of the speculation and wrote to her and asked her.
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You have bosses who provide you with transportation to and from work, AND who want to feed you as well?
What a-holes. You should call a lawyer. I'm pretty sure that excessive kindness is illegal.0 -
karenhannahmae wrote: »The replies in this thread are hilarious! To clarify, my bosses are women who are around 8-13 years older than me. We all live in the same city so their offer of riding home (and not from home to work) is very convenient as our city is very far from the office. I normally go to work through public transportation, so I only agree out of convenience. Yesterday was definitely a weather issue. And they only decide to eat somewhere when we are already in the car (really spur of the moment!). I know I can simply reject joining them, but since I'm new to the job, I'm also trying to create and have a decent, friendly relationship with them. Since we're only three, and the bosses offer drinks and food to share, it is very difficult not to have what they're having. I once tried to just order water for drinks, but out of a jokingly manner of pressure from one of them, I ended up having their drinks too. It's normally dinner time and I'm quite hungry too, but my issue here is the choice of food and the unnecessary drinking.
Do you feel pressured into uncomfortable romantic liaisonswith these older, female bosses? I think some posters here would like you to describe the situation in a bit more detail. Don't leave out any of the juicy bits. With the weather issue, I bet some posters are imagining wet clothes...you can take it from there.
*fans self0 -
karenhannahmae wrote: »The replies in this thread are hilarious! To clarify, my bosses are women who are around 8-13 years older than me. We all live in the same city so their offer of riding home (and not from home to work) is very convenient as our city is very far from the office. I normally go to work through public transportation, so I only agree out of convenience. Yesterday was definitely a weather issue. And they only decide to eat somewhere when we are already in the car (really spur of the moment!). I know I can simply reject joining them, but since I'm new to the job, I'm also trying to create and have a decent, friendly relationship with them. Since we're only three, and the bosses offer drinks and food to share, it is very difficult not to have what they're having. I once tried to just order water for drinks, but out of a jokingly manner of pressure from one of them, I ended up having their drinks too. It's normally dinner time and I'm quite hungry too, but my issue here is the choice of food and the unnecessary drinking.
I'm glad you got a kick out of some of the replies, you must have a very good sense of humor.
That said, if they're nice people they will understand when you say no, you don't want to eat and drink. If they don't, then they're not worth working for/with.0 -
Damn.
Am I the only one who is a little bit jealous of bosses taking employees out for dinner? I would love mine to just respond to my emails or know how to pronounce my last name.0 -
RestrainingOrder wrote: »gaelicstorm26 wrote: »Damn.
Am I the only one who is a little bit jealous of bosses taking employees out for dinner? I would love mine to just respond to my emails or know how to pronounce my last name.
Ummmm.....if you didn't notice, you're a dog. No pets allowed.
What if I pretend to be a service dog?
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gaelicstorm26 wrote: »Damn.
Am I the only one who is a little bit jealous of bosses taking employees out for dinner? I would love mine to just respond to my emails or know how to pronounce my last name.
I didn't read it as the bosses taking her out to dinner - as in paying for her dinner- just stopping somewhere on the way home and everyone buys their own.
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paperpudding wrote: »gaelicstorm26 wrote: »Damn.
Am I the only one who is a little bit jealous of bosses taking employees out for dinner? I would love mine to just respond to my emails or know how to pronounce my last name.
I didn't read it as the bosses taking her out to dinner - as in paying for her dinner- just stopping somewhere on the way home and everyone buys their own.
In that case, it should be really easy for OP to order exactly what she wants. I travel a lot for work and I eat with my bosses frequently. They don't care what I order for dinner. I pick out something tasty that meets my goals and that's the end of it.0
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