how do you deal with failure days?

kiela64

Are there things you do to help you feel better or deal with days that, whatever the reason, you really overate on unhealthy foods? This isn't targeted towards people who never mess up, or about days where you go 100 cal over your goal. But like, big mess-ups. How do you accept it and move on, or account for it so that you stop beating yourself over the head with how much of a failure of a person you are?

I had a day like that yesterday, and I know repeatedly thinking "wow there is so much wrong with you, you're a failure you deserve nothing good" etc. is not something that's going to help. It will make me want to eat. Do you have ways of dealing with this?

mommarnurse

Are you having those days a lot ? (Like, more than just once a month )

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

You realize that in the long run, one day is not going to make much difference in your weight loss goals. You just pick up where you left off the next day, and don't worry about it.

It says nothing about your moral character to go over your calories for one day, and the overall impact is going to be negligible. There is absolutely no reason to beat yourself up and dwell on a bad day.

Try not assigning any moral value to your eating habits. It's just food!

Annr

I have moments like anyone else. I too don't put alot of emotions on a "bad day", but I do want to be a gal that perseveres instead of throwing in the towel... So I try to "do what I say, and say what I mean". I want to "walk the walk and talk the talk". I like to be serious in this journey. It is something I will never "go off of" when I get to maintenance time. Paying attention means just that. Mindful eating, and living for today, not on the regrets of yesterday or the stress of "getting to your goal". My goal is to just be on this earth longer, healthier, and wiser.

hugheseva

I had several of really bad days on vacation or holidays or parties, meaning over 2000-2500 calories each day for several days instead of 1200. Snapped back and worked it off by clean eating and exercise. Nothing to worry about if you diligently put down everything you consume in your diary. I think the main problem is that people get embarrassed to face reality and see all those extra calories so they just stop using the diary and don't even step on the scale. Don't do it.

Annr

ohhh I step on that scale, look at myself nude in the mirror and have "an alley chat" with myself...hahaha

kiela64

mommarnurse wrote: »

Are you having those days a lot ? (Like, more than just once a month )

My first response was "no" but I double checked, and yes, I've had 6 in the past 30 days. it's probably negating everything I've tried to work for, isn't it?

katharineshalia

These are great answers.

lemurcat12

I really like the book Fat Loss Happens on Monday. One aspect of the advice it gives is eat like an adult, which in part means don't overeat or eat tons of stuff that's bad for you, but also means don't beat yourself up for what you eat. Just think about how it fits your goals and if it doesn't, change it.

MommyL2015

kae612 wrote: »

mommarnurse wrote: »

Are you having those days a lot ? (Like, more than just once a month )

My first response was "no" but I double checked, and yes, I've had 6 in the past 30 days. it's probably negating everything I've tried to work for, isn't it?

It could be, but the first thing you need to do is realize that you're not a failure. It's food and we need to eat! So you haven't failed, you've just over-succeeded. Seriously, though, you can't change the past, so instead of saying you failed and it's time to start over, just move on to the next day and tell yourself you'll do better.

If you feel like your current calorie goal isn't giving you enough to eat daily, just slow your loss down so you can eat more, or up your activity a bit.

Jmgkamp

It used to make me really infuriated with myself. But now, on the rare occasion that I "splurge" as long as I really enjoyed what I ate I'm pretty happy that I have learned to live like a normal person. That's how I view it - living like a normal, healthy, fit person. Which means that it's okay, every now and then, to enjoy something that's a bit too "calorific." The trick is realizing that those splurges have to be occasional, and must be followed by a return to attention to calorie consumption.

Don't beat yourself up. Try to keep these days to the rare occasion, and wake up the next day with your head back in the game.

Life without amazing pizza is not a life worth living

cmtigger

I don't see myself as a failure. It's like a health system commercial that has been playing around here. A man is talking to a doctor and he's really worried about something that he has a hard time telling her. He went off his diet. His doctor points out that he's human and overall he's keeping his diabetes under control. It's no big deal.

atjays

I pretty much plan a bad day each week. I don't binge like 8000 calories or anything but I probably get 2500-3000. I just make sure I get a solid work out in that day, helps offset most of the damage, and it's something to look forward to as well as keep my cravings down.

shadowfax_c11

It is fine to fail as long as you learn something. Instead of beating yourself up for failing try looking at your day and asking yourself what you can do different tomorrow and the next day that will help you to do better.

Failing is fine. People do it all of the time. It is part of learning. What is unacceptable is quitting.

callsitlikeiseeit

i dont have failure days. days are days. what i ate is what i ate. the next day is a new day.

SLLRunner

kae612 wrote: »

Are there things you do to help you feel better or deal with days that, whatever the reason, you really overate on unhealthy foods? This isn't targeted towards people who never mess up, or about days where you go 100 cal over your goal. But like, big mess-ups. How do you accept it and move on, or account for it so that you stop beating yourself over the head with how much of a failure of a person you are?

I had a day like that yesterday, and I know repeatedly thinking "wow there is so much wrong with you, you're a failure you deserve nothing good" etc. is not something that's going to help. It will make me want to eat. Do you have ways of dealing with this?

How I deal with it is to not see any day as a failure, it's just a day. If I overeat, I log it and move on. If I under eat, I log it and move on.

I don't see any food as healthy or unhealthy, I just see it all as food available for body fuel. First I make sure what I eat is keeping me within my weekly calorie goals, then make sure my macros are met. Fruits, vegetables, meats, dairy, comprise my dietary base, then I add in treats as I see fit. Since I weight lift, my protein level is what I strive to meet first.

As for your self-talk, as illustrated in your second paragraph--you can change that. You don't have to see yourself as a failure.

Yes, I used to talk to myself like that and it led to many dietary failures. It was only when I changed my relationship with food, which happened through counseling and educating myself on nutrition, that I was able to rid myself of the negative self talk.

The best of luck to you.

SLLRunner

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »

You realize that in the long run, one day is not going to make much difference in your weight loss goals. You just pick up where you left off the next day, and don't worry about it.

It says nothing about your moral character to go over your calories for one day, and the overall impact is going to be negligible. There is absolutely no reason to beat yourself up and dwell on a bad day.

Try not assigning any moral value to your eating habits. It's just food!

I love this!

Werk2Eat

I fail one day and over exceed the next day.

KateTii

It's not a failure day, it's a "being human" day.

pstegman888

kae612 wrote: »

mommarnurse wrote: »

Are you having those days a lot ? (Like, more than just once a month )

My first response was "no" but I double checked, and yes, I've had 6 in the past 30 days. it's probably negating everything I've tried to work for, isn't it?

No, no, no, don't give up! Make sure your calories aren't set too low that you are too hungry all the time. Eat food that you enjoy so you don't feel too deprived. Work little treats into your calorie goal. And maybe set one day a week as a planned day of indulgence. You might lose a tiny bit slower overall, but you won't feel like you failed if you realize you can allow it occasionally. And lastly, if you have unmanageable stress or emotional upheaval in your life, it might help to seek counseling or talk to a level-headed friend who can listen without adding to the drama. Wishing you the best. Never give up!

Always_Smiling_D

FIrst step - NO NEGATIVE TALK ALLOWED. Determine the trigger? ... for instance, and I know this of myself very well, if I feel like eating something and I don't eat it then I will eat everything else in sight - reason why I don't deprive myself of anything -- some will agree, some will disagree but we all have what works for us -- portion control, serving size , pace yourself and savor what ever it is - small bites chew slow - this is how I usually control not having too bad of days... to me no food is bad though I know that not all food is full of the right type of nutrients - some don't even have any nutritional value.