Throwing in the towel
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Ok I was maybe a bit blunt, but it's not necessarily a bad thing... I mean, I don't want to reach my goal enough either. I'm not willing to give up my treats to lose my last 3 pounds, I'm not willing to go to bed hungrier than I've been already to lose my last 3 pounds, and I'm sure as heck not willing to make myself lift weights 3x a week to lose whatever fat I have left attached to my loose skin on my belly (knowing I'd probably have to go down to 18% body fat or something, and even then, I have a lot of loose skin)...
I don't want it enough, and that's fine. I'm relatively happy maintaining at 133 pounds right now (although man I could really do with an extra 200 calories a day, not gonna lie). Heck just the idea that I'd lose 50 calories a day at my goal weight (130) turns me off. Sure, I still have some fat in my midsection, but I'm way below the 'overweight' category and healthy and some point it just has to be good enough... and I don't think there's anything wrong with not REALLY caring about extra vanity pounds and having a 6-pack.
^^ Are you my twin? :-D what you're saying mirrors how I think/feel
I actually think its a good way to think, being happy and healthy, thats all that really matters
OP - I'll never be done with weight loss, what I mean by that is that maintaining that loss takes as much effort, I just get to eat more. I want to stay slim badly enough to do what it takes (within reason!)
Perhaps you just need a diet break and then you can come back to this process afresh.0 -
Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Being consistent is one thing, but "doing everything right" is another thing entirely. There's not a lot of room for perfectionism in weight loss, at least in my experience. No one does everything right all the time. Obsession about doing it all right all the time seems unhealthy to me. I suppose it depends on how you define "doing everything right."
OP, I've committed to losing weight slowly and steadily this time. I know I could lose weight faster if I ate at more of a deficit or neglected time with my family in order to exercise more, but I want to make choices that are livable for the long run. I haven't had nearly the journey you've had, but I've felt mentally exhausted more than once already. I allowed myself breaks, but I didn't really want them. Eating at my deficit (eating ~1600 cals a day, more if I exercise), and working out the way and when I want to (lots of running, some strength and HIIT training), are things I want to do anyway, so I've had better success this time. Maybe taking a maintenance break will be good for your spirit... maybe you'll discover your "happy place" in terms of lifestyle.0 -
I'm 46, and have been working out probably for 30 years, more than not...I can admit to throwing in the towel many times, usually out of frustration, never out of a feeling that I'm "finished", or that I'm completely satisfied with where I'm at. My journey has sometimes been about weightloss, others about just being happy with my body in the stage it's at......The last two years have been the easiest, and the most fulfilling, as I've come into my own spiritually and physically, finally. And with consistency, I'm finally seeing the results I've been dreaming about. Please don't "throw in the towel"...take a hiatus if you must, take some "me" time....but fitness, and taking care of your "self" will probably always be a factor to being the best you YOU can be...good luck xo0
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I'm mentally ready to be done with weight loss, just looking to see how other people did it and why.
When I made peace with the fact that there is much more to life than fitting into a stereotype of what a person should look like.
I am happy, I am healthy, I love the way my body performs. What it looks like is neither here nor there.0 -
I knew someone would check my diary.You, my dear, are a logging warrior! Congratulations on all of the weight loss! superb. I can tell just by clicking on any of your days for the last 3 years, that you didn't fail to log even one day! You have to be such an inspiration for your mfp friends who are probably still wrapping their heads around the concept of logging their intake.
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My 130's were a constant struggle. I wanted 130 and gave up initially at 133 because I just could not care about those last 3 pounds anymore. I was sooooo tired of a deficit. I tried a recomp instead, and I wasn't patient enough for that either. Now 5 weeks into a deficit, I'm not losing and I might give up again.0
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You're saying go back to the beginning, to push myself into doing things I dislike - weight lifting, different meal timings, being hungry/hangry, eat at a "real" deficit (not -250 cals), etc.? I stopped doing many of those things because I was turning into a person I hated. I started down an ED path that I prefer not to see again.
You try doing all 4 right with commitment first. I say try it for at least 2 weeks. Then if you don't see any changes, make adjustments.Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
There's a big difference in knowing how much my physical appearance can be changed without surgical intervention and what will "snap back" in a few years.
Only you can know what you want to do.
If you want to continue losing weight, follow ninerbuff's advice or something similar. If you don't, that's fine too. It isn't up to anyone here to decide if you have lost "enough" weight or not. You can decide which option makes you happier. Also, no decision is final. There is nothing wrong with maintaining for a while and then deciding down the line that you want to lose more. But doing things half-assed probably isn't going to make you happy. You will be disappointed with the results, but still feel like you are doing all this work. It doesn't matter what your decision is, but make a decision and stick with it for a while, whether it is lose weight or maintain.
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Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
I guess you just don't want it enough, that's all.
or is it that OP may be happy where she is, and really there is no need to do anything then maintain?
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Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
Are you ok with where you are looks wise, health wise?
At the moment i just concentrate on not putting the weight back on. i feel good, i like the way i look so pushing myself to go further isnt working.
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When did you guys decide you were finished with weight loss/gain? Was it when you reached your goal? Did you get sick and tired of eating at a deficit/surplus?
I'm mentally ready to be done with weight loss, just looking to see how other people did it and why.
meh, just start eating at maintenance. you can always change your mind later, and resume eating at a deficit... if you want to.0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
I guess you just don't want it enough, that's all.
or is it that OP may be happy where she is, and really there is no need to do anything then maintain?
If you read my second post, you'd see that I don't mean it as a bad thing.0 -
I guess the real task is to examine what reaching a specified (and most times largely arbitrary) goal weight represents unconsciously which drives a person to strive so hard to reach it beyond that which is rational.
I'm guessing many times it is not about the actual weight itself but rather things like: social acceptance, wanting to feel normal and not judged, fear of failure, belief it will lead to a miraculous increase in confidence or happiness.
Then, when bringing those unconscious fears into the light, the realisation that losing a few more pounds won't make a blind bit of difference and there are probably a lot better ways of achieving those goals than chasing a number of a needle...0 -
You can always maintain for awhile and then decide if you want to lose any more weight. After a year straight of losing I was ready to take a break - I'd lost 120 pounds (the other 7 came off finding my maintenance calories). I was into the normal BMI range (barely). I never had a set in stone goal weight because
This. I maintained my current weight (about 2/3's to my goal weight) for the better part of year because I just wasn't quite ready for the last leg of the weight loss. (Though I didn't realize that at the time.)
If you're sick of logging, take a breather and maintain where you are. If there's other stuff going on that's stressing you out (thus making logging more of a burden than it was), evaluate and cope with that first. Just keep in mind that I don't think there's really a "back to normal" for people who have lost a lot of weight. I think we always end up being very hyper-focused on our food, lest the weight come back.0 -
Being 100%- have you been in calorie deficit or have you fudged some numbers?
You're saying go back to the beginning, to push myself into doing things I dislike - weight lifting, different meal timings, being hungry/hangry, eat at a "real" deficit (not -250 cals), etc.? I stopped doing many of those things because I was turning into a person I hated. I started down an ED path that I prefer not to see again.
You try doing all 4 right with commitment first. I say try it for at least 2 weeks. Then if you don't see any changes, make adjustments.Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
There's a big difference in knowing how much my physical appearance can be changed without surgical intervention and what will "snap back" in a few years.
Did I do everything right- are your numbers correct on calories or are you guessing? Were you weighing food before, but aren't now?
Have I been consistent- are you good one day, but not so good the next and so on.
Have I attempted different approaches to help- what ever exercise program you like, have you tried it at a higher intensity? Doesn't have to be weight lifting, it can be walking, biking, dancing, etc.
There may be a time the IF you want to reach a certain goal, you may end up doing things you don't like. It would be then that you make the decision if it's worth it to you or not.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Therealobi1 wrote: »Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
I guess you just don't want it enough, that's all.
or is it that OP may be happy where she is, and really there is no need to do anything then maintain?
If you read my second post, you'd see that I don't mean it as a bad thing.
i didnt read it as a bad thing.0 -
Just a quick note: If a person is diabetic and taking insulin while losing weight, it's wise to check with endocrinologist if your weight stalls for a long time. Your dosage may end up being too high and insulin will stall any weight loss if too high.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
After about 13 months and 95 lb lost, I was 5 lb from my original goal and reasonably happy with how I looked (and able to fit back into all my smallest stuff from when I was at my goal weight some years ago). I still thought dropping additional fat was desirable, but it wasn't that urgent and I was really, really ready to not be focused on weight loss. What I did instead was focus on getting fitter while eating at maintenance--I trained for and did a multi-day bike trip, I spent more time on weights, various other athletic goals that interested me. For a while I kept thinking I would get back to losing, but I found I wasn't into it. There wasn't, for me, enough of a reason for it.
Now, I think I've had enough of a break (it's been about 7 months), and I've decided I do have a reason -- I think dropping a bit more fat will help me run faster -- so I'm going to try to get back to it.
One of the things that inspired me in reading MFP initially (and why I think it's so helpful to have old-timers around, not just newbies), is how people who were successfully maintaining weren't really ever done, but constantly focused on fitness in various ways. That's how I think of it and what I want -- I will never be done. But for me I do need breaks from being focused on mainly fat loss.0 -
melimomTARDIS wrote: »When did you guys decide you were finished with weight loss/gain? Was it when you reached your goal? Did you get sick and tired of eating at a deficit/surplus?
I'm mentally ready to be done with weight loss, just looking to see how other people did it and why.
meh, just start eating at maintenance. you can always change your mind later, and resume eating at a deficit... if you want to.
This is exactly right, don't stress over it. maintain for a while then come back and cut if you want to.. you just drop your calories.
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Being 100%- have you been in calorie deficit or have you fudged some numbers?
You're saying go back to the beginning, to push myself into doing things I dislike - weight lifting, different meal timings, being hungry/hangry, eat at a "real" deficit (not -250 cals), etc.? I stopped doing many of those things because I was turning into a person I hated. I started down an ED path that I prefer not to see again.
You try doing all 4 right with commitment first. I say try it for at least 2 weeks. Then if you don't see any changes, make adjustments.Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
There's a big difference in knowing how much my physical appearance can be changed without surgical intervention and what will "snap back" in a few years.
Did I do everything right- are your numbers correct on calories or are you guessing? Were you weighing food before, but aren't now?
Have I been consistent- are you good one day, but not so good the next and so on.
Have I attempted different approaches to help- what ever exercise program you like, have you tried it at a higher intensity? Doesn't have to be weight lifting, it can be walking, biking, dancing, etc.
There may be a time the IF you want to reach a certain goal, you may end up doing things you don't like. It would be then that you make the decision if it's worth it to you or not.
This is why I asked. Your clarifications change my answers completely. It's like those true/false questions on tests - if one bit is false, the answer is always false. When I started years ago, I didn't know about weighing everything or where to get reliable/accurate nutritional info/calorie burns. That means my initial answers were all no. Once I learned how to find the answers I needed to get going, I've been as consistent and accurate as I can be.
I'd like to clarify that I'm not looking for permission to eat at maintenance. My mind has been teetering on stopping for a few months now and I wanted others input on what they did and did they have similar thoughts.0 -
When the doctor said my bloodwork was good and my weight was mid range healthy.0
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