Believe in Yourself.
PinkPixiexox
Posts: 4,142 Member
This isn’t a thread asking for advice. This isn’t a thread that will help you in any way, shape or form physically lose the weight you want to lose. I just wanted to share a little something..
I’ve always been over-weight, for as long as I can remember. I was an overweight child, an overweight teenager and an overweight 20 something. I found (and still do at times) a comfort in food and soon I kind of relied on it to fill me up in other ways than just physically. When I was around 22 (only a couple of years ago), I decided to make some changes and start working out at the gym – which I did do. I managed to get to a nice manageable size though still ‘technically’ overweight, I oozed this newfound confidence. I didn’t feel I had to hide away from the world and little by little, I started coming out of my shell. I stopped being so shy and timid, stopping being so afraid of looking people in the eye – and one night, I was invited for a ‘night out’ with my friends.
I spent weeks planning what I was going to wear and I actually felt like I had a pick of more outfits than I had before my little chunk of weight loss happened. I found this beautiful, beautiful, bold pink dress. I have pixie features (hence the user name) so this pink dress was cute, quirky and totally me! At this point, I had NEVER dared to wear anything with even a hint of colour – instead sticking to blacks and ‘cover ups. I detested my body for as long as I could remember so choosing this bright pink little dress WITHOUT a cardigan over the top was a huge step for me.
I remember spending hours that evening getting ready, putting on my make up, making sure my freshly styled blonde hair was looking good. I even did a spray tan on myself! I slid into this little pink dress and my little black heels and literally gave myself a thumbs up in the mirror. Big deep breaths in and out and I made my way out of the door to meet my friends. I was so NERVOUS and SO self-conscious. I felt very exposed and out of my comfort zone in this outfit! It matched my personality to the T but in the past, I had refused to let myself show that ‘bubbly side’.
After a while, I started to gradually overcome my anxiety about what I looked like and whether my tummy was poking out or my arms looking wobbly – I actually started enjoying the night with my friends. I danced on the dance-floor with a huge smile on my face! After about 10 minutes of dancing, a man (I say man – he must have been around 19/20) started ruffling my hair from behind trying to get my attention. I turned and asked if every thing was alright and he didn’t answer me. Shrugging, I continued dancing with my friends. Still, this ‘man’ kept ruffling my hair trying to get a reaction out of me. I turned to him with a confused face expression and then started to walk away slightly. The third time he got my attention, he turned to me – looked me square in the eye and said .. “ You are FAT”.
I can literally remember the way my heart quite literally dropped and I just stood there, staring at this man and having absolutely nothing to say to him. I couldn’t speak, I was lost for words and hurting so very, very badly. In one single second, this man had crushed everything I had worked for. I left the club, went home and threw that pink dress in the trash.
After that, I gave up on myself. I didn’t want to play the game anymore. I didn’t want to lose weight only to be called names. I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I shunned exercise, I turned my back on healthy food and I just let myself ‘be’. I ate, I gained and I stopped going out with my friends and I stopped buying little pink dresses. It was in April of this year that my doctor told me that I’d gained weight and needed to be healthy again. Enter the rollercoaster of emotions. I rapidly dropped 25 lbs – I was in panic mode – and then I found MFP.
The point of this post? I wanted to thank each and every one of you that has helped turn this process into a positive step. Before I discovered this community, I was sad, lost, afraid of how my body reacted to certain plans, afraid of calories, clueless as to what I actually needed and now? I’m happy. I’m still afraid to walk into nightclubs and I’m still afraid when men try and get my attention – but I’ve come so far and I’ve done this for me. Not for the man in the club. Not for anyone but me. And I couldn’t have done it without all of you.
For anyone out there that wants to give up because the road ahead looks hard, please don’t. Please stay strong and trust yourself. You can do this.
I’ve always been over-weight, for as long as I can remember. I was an overweight child, an overweight teenager and an overweight 20 something. I found (and still do at times) a comfort in food and soon I kind of relied on it to fill me up in other ways than just physically. When I was around 22 (only a couple of years ago), I decided to make some changes and start working out at the gym – which I did do. I managed to get to a nice manageable size though still ‘technically’ overweight, I oozed this newfound confidence. I didn’t feel I had to hide away from the world and little by little, I started coming out of my shell. I stopped being so shy and timid, stopping being so afraid of looking people in the eye – and one night, I was invited for a ‘night out’ with my friends.
I spent weeks planning what I was going to wear and I actually felt like I had a pick of more outfits than I had before my little chunk of weight loss happened. I found this beautiful, beautiful, bold pink dress. I have pixie features (hence the user name) so this pink dress was cute, quirky and totally me! At this point, I had NEVER dared to wear anything with even a hint of colour – instead sticking to blacks and ‘cover ups. I detested my body for as long as I could remember so choosing this bright pink little dress WITHOUT a cardigan over the top was a huge step for me.
I remember spending hours that evening getting ready, putting on my make up, making sure my freshly styled blonde hair was looking good. I even did a spray tan on myself! I slid into this little pink dress and my little black heels and literally gave myself a thumbs up in the mirror. Big deep breaths in and out and I made my way out of the door to meet my friends. I was so NERVOUS and SO self-conscious. I felt very exposed and out of my comfort zone in this outfit! It matched my personality to the T but in the past, I had refused to let myself show that ‘bubbly side’.
After a while, I started to gradually overcome my anxiety about what I looked like and whether my tummy was poking out or my arms looking wobbly – I actually started enjoying the night with my friends. I danced on the dance-floor with a huge smile on my face! After about 10 minutes of dancing, a man (I say man – he must have been around 19/20) started ruffling my hair from behind trying to get my attention. I turned and asked if every thing was alright and he didn’t answer me. Shrugging, I continued dancing with my friends. Still, this ‘man’ kept ruffling my hair trying to get a reaction out of me. I turned to him with a confused face expression and then started to walk away slightly. The third time he got my attention, he turned to me – looked me square in the eye and said .. “ You are FAT”.
I can literally remember the way my heart quite literally dropped and I just stood there, staring at this man and having absolutely nothing to say to him. I couldn’t speak, I was lost for words and hurting so very, very badly. In one single second, this man had crushed everything I had worked for. I left the club, went home and threw that pink dress in the trash.
After that, I gave up on myself. I didn’t want to play the game anymore. I didn’t want to lose weight only to be called names. I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I shunned exercise, I turned my back on healthy food and I just let myself ‘be’. I ate, I gained and I stopped going out with my friends and I stopped buying little pink dresses. It was in April of this year that my doctor told me that I’d gained weight and needed to be healthy again. Enter the rollercoaster of emotions. I rapidly dropped 25 lbs – I was in panic mode – and then I found MFP.
The point of this post? I wanted to thank each and every one of you that has helped turn this process into a positive step. Before I discovered this community, I was sad, lost, afraid of how my body reacted to certain plans, afraid of calories, clueless as to what I actually needed and now? I’m happy. I’m still afraid to walk into nightclubs and I’m still afraid when men try and get my attention – but I’ve come so far and I’ve done this for me. Not for the man in the club. Not for anyone but me. And I couldn’t have done it without all of you.
For anyone out there that wants to give up because the road ahead looks hard, please don’t. Please stay strong and trust yourself. You can do this.
0
Replies
-
-
You can do it. I believe in you.
The time is going to pass whether you make the changes or not. Might as well make them.0 -
This content has been removed.
-
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.0 -
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
This. But I still wanted to slap the snot out of him when I read that. What a horrible human being he is!
0 -
Oh my goodness, your share has brought tears to my eyes. As someone who was overweight up until my 40's, I can so relate. Thank you for sharing this, you have such a beautiful spirit.0
-
Thank you all
I still remember the look of pure hatred and disgust on his face as he said it to me too! I think that's a moment I'll always remember but I won't let it define me, that's for sure. I think many of us have experienced that kind of thing here and there and the hurt it causes is on another level entirely! It's awful. And I just hate to think that others have had to deal with the same kind of upset0 -
-
PinkPixiexox wrote: »The third time he got my attention, he turned to me – looked me square in the eye and said .. “ You are FAT”.
Do some blokes still try negging when they are on the pull?
Damn, things haven't changed much I see...
0 -
So some jackanape, that has a very tiny member (I'm talking maggot sized), had to make himself feel better by attacking an innocent young woman. Great job moving past it!0
-
I always remind myself that the things we say, even the throw-away comments, have power we can't imagine. And a lot of mean people who never give a second thought to the power of their words have been spoken to that way themselves too often. Not that it makes it okay, but it makes my reaction to pity them rather than take their words to heart. Well, at least some of the time!
@PinkPixiexox Keep on smilin' all the way to your goal0 -
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »So some jackanape, that has a very tiny member (I'm talking maggot sized), had to make himself feel better by attacking an innocent young woman. Great job moving past it!
Oh gross! Maggot member. Probably true, too.
I'd rather weigh 1000 pounds than be him. Glad I don't have to make that choice, though, I don't think they make bicycles for 1000 pound women!0 -
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »So some jackanape, that has a very tiny member (I'm talking maggot sized), had to make himself feel better by attacking an innocent young woman. Great job moving past it!
Oh gross! Maggot member. Probably true, too.
I'd rather weigh 1000 pounds than be him. Glad I don't have to make that choice, though, I don't think they make bicycles for 1000 pound women!
I was going to say
But that would be giving the jerk too much credit!0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »Liftng4Lis wrote: »So some jackanape, that has a very tiny member (I'm talking maggot sized), had to make himself feel better by attacking an innocent young woman. Great job moving past it!
Oh gross! Maggot member. Probably true, too.
I'd rather weigh 1000 pounds than be him. Glad I don't have to make that choice, though, I don't think they make bicycles for 1000 pound women!
I was going to say
But that would be giving the jerk too much credit!
HAHAHA! Amazing!!!!!0 -
Oh my goodness, your share has brought tears to my eyes. As someone who was overweight up until my 40's, I can so relate. Thank you for sharing this, you have such a beautiful spirit.
Yes...She sure does. Ive been ridiculed in my past even emotionally abused at times because of being 20 pounds overweight. I'm so glad this didn't derail you. Im a firm believer in losing for yourself. People can be so mean and judgmental to the point of self hatred and or becoming introverted and losing all self confidence. Keep your head high because you have helped yourself (and many others)you have acchieved so many goals. You have so much to be proud of!!0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »Liftng4Lis wrote: »So some jackanape, that has a very tiny member (I'm talking maggot sized), had to make himself feel better by attacking an innocent young woman. Great job moving past it!
Oh gross! Maggot member. Probably true, too.
I'd rather weigh 1000 pounds than be him. Glad I don't have to make that choice, though, I don't think they make bicycles for 1000 pound women!
I was going to say
But that would be giving the jerk too much credit!
Waaay too much credit!0 -
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.0 -
This content has been removed.
-
Ive never heard the term "negging" and Im in my 40s. I learned something new today.0
-
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Ah. "Carpet bombing" the dating scene, so to speak (all innuendo intended)0 -
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Sounds like a good way to meet a Jodi Arias to me.
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.0 -
I love you for posting this!! I think we might all have similar experiences as we go through our own journeys. I remember grabbing a Wendy's burger on my first cheat day in months, and while shoving it down my throat at a stop light some guys rolled their window down and told me to "eat that burger piggy" I felt like throwing it at them but it was too damn delicious.0
-
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
0 -
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
Well it would be nice to think the best of a fellow human being. And so sad that those two options would be the 'best' in his case!0 -
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
Well it would be nice to think the best of a fellow human being. And so sad that those two options would be the 'best' in his case!
Well, I haven't been single in a long time, and things may have changed since I was a young man about town, but I remember the dating scene as being a bizarre zoo of cheap aftershave and false confidence. I would probably think the worst as a matter of course
0 -
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.0 -
Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Yeah, what he said was massively out of order. The world is full of idiots. Nightclubs are an even more condensed microcosm of idiots because many of them are drunk. However, this is not uncommon and believe it or not girls can be just as brutal as men. I've seen (male) friends get humiliated by girls for just having the courage to talk to them (far worse than this story). I also have my own tragic stories that I'm not prepared to share lol. It shouldn't be this way when you want a fun night out but going clubbing/dancing can be a risky business in terms of self confidence.0 -
slideaway1 wrote: »Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Yeah, what he said was massively out of order. The world is full of idiots. Nightclubs are an even more condensed microcosm of idiots because many of them are drunk. However, this is not uncommon and believe it or not girls can be just as brutal as men. I've seen (male) friends get humiliated by girls for just having the courage to talk to them (far worse than this story). I also have my own tragic stories that I'm not prepared to share lol. It shouldn't be this way when you want a fun night out but going clubbing/dancing can be a risky business in terms of self confidence.
That's true enough. I wouldn't consider a nightclub as being any kind of accurate reflection of ordinary human behaviour (most people, both men and women, tend to be nice.)
I have my own story of a girl in All Bar One thinking being rather racist would make me enamoured towards her and buy her a drink. You know the bit in a Western when the music suddenly stops and everyone goes still? Yeah, it was like that...
0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.8K Introduce Yourself
- 43.9K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 428 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.1K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 15 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions