Believe in Yourself.
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Ive never heard the term "negging" and Im in my 40s. I learned something new today.0
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I couldn't personally say, I have no interest in being a pick up artist - even if it works, it wouldn't be a basis in human interaction I'd care for. There is, however, a whole community of people (Pick Up Artist - PUA) that subscribe to methods such as that, and a whole host of other unsavory methods to get women. I'd tend to believe that PUA techniques don't work but are perceived as working because they give some guys enough confidence to approach women that they wouldn't have had, and because of sheer numbers: hit on a few hundred women, even in a nasty manner and you'll probably get at least one reaction.
So calling her fat was meant to attract her? Wow. That's messed up. Does that work?
That or he was trying to do what pick up artists calling negging - making her feel bad in hopes that she'll try to prove herself to him. Either is fairly vile behavior.Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Ah. "Carpet bombing" the dating scene, so to speak (all innuendo intended)0 -
So calling her fat was meant to attract her? Wow. That's messed up. Does that work?
That or he was trying to do what pick up artists calling negging - making her feel bad in hopes that she'll try to prove herself to him. Either is fairly vile behavior.Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Sounds like a good way to meet a Jodi Arias to me.
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.0 -
I love you for posting this!! I think we might all have similar experiences as we go through our own journeys. I remember grabbing a Wendy's burger on my first cheat day in months, and while shoving it down my throat at a stop light some guys rolled their window down and told me to "eat that burger piggy" I felt like throwing it at them but it was too damn delicious.0
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But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
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But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
Well it would be nice to think the best of a fellow human being. And so sad that those two options would be the 'best' in his case!0 -
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
Well it would be nice to think the best of a fellow human being. And so sad that those two options would be the 'best' in his case!
Well, I haven't been single in a long time, and things may have changed since I was a young man about town, but I remember the dating scene as being a bizarre zoo of cheap aftershave and false confidence. I would probably think the worst as a matter of course
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Good point, that's another technique - establish physical contact and violate personal space. They view it as breaking in an animal by getting it to accept a person's touch.
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.0 -
So calling her fat was meant to attract her? Wow. That's messed up. Does that work?
That or he was trying to do what pick up artists calling negging - making her feel bad in hopes that she'll try to prove herself to him. Either is fairly vile behavior.Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Yeah, what he said was massively out of order. The world is full of idiots. Nightclubs are an even more condensed microcosm of idiots because many of them are drunk. However, this is not uncommon and believe it or not girls can be just as brutal as men. I've seen (male) friends get humiliated by girls for just having the courage to talk to them (far worse than this story). I also have my own tragic stories that I'm not prepared to share lol. It shouldn't be this way when you want a fun night out but going clubbing/dancing can be a risky business in terms of self confidence.0 -
slideaway1 wrote: »
So calling her fat was meant to attract her? Wow. That's messed up. Does that work?
That or he was trying to do what pick up artists calling negging - making her feel bad in hopes that she'll try to prove herself to him. Either is fairly vile behavior.Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Yeah, what he said was massively out of order. The world is full of idiots. Nightclubs are an even more condensed microcosm of idiots because many of them are drunk. However, this is not uncommon and believe it or not girls can be just as brutal as men. I've seen (male) friends get humiliated by girls for just having the courage to talk to them (far worse than this story). I also have my own tragic stories that I'm not prepared to share lol. It shouldn't be this way when you want a fun night out but going clubbing/dancing can be a risky business in terms of self confidence.
That's true enough. I wouldn't consider a nightclub as being any kind of accurate reflection of ordinary human behaviour (most people, both men and women, tend to be nice.)
I have my own story of a girl in All Bar One thinking being rather racist would make me enamoured towards her and buy her a drink. You know the bit in a Western when the music suddenly stops and everyone goes still? Yeah, it was like that...
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I'm mentally hearing a record scratch, followed by, "can you repeat that? I'm think I had something racist in my ear just now." If she was saying it, I'd have to imagine it wasn't something she didn't believe on some level, and part of it was about putting it out there to find someone with similar opinions.slideaway1 wrote: »
So calling her fat was meant to attract her? Wow. That's messed up. Does that work?
That or he was trying to do what pick up artists calling negging - making her feel bad in hopes that she'll try to prove herself to him. Either is fairly vile behavior.Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Yeah, what he said was massively out of order. The world is full of idiots. Nightclubs are an even more condensed microcosm of idiots because many of them are drunk. However, this is not uncommon and believe it or not girls can be just as brutal as men. I've seen (male) friends get humiliated by girls for just having the courage to talk to them (far worse than this story). I also have my own tragic stories that I'm not prepared to share lol. It shouldn't be this way when you want a fun night out but going clubbing/dancing can be a risky business in terms of self confidence.
That's true enough. I wouldn't consider a nightclub as being any kind of accurate reflection of ordinary human behaviour (most people, both men and women, tend to be nice.)
I have my own story of a girl in All Bar One thinking being rather racist would make me enamoured towards her and buy her a drink. You know the bit in a Western when the music suddenly stops and everyone goes still? Yeah, it was like that...0 -
Wonderful post PinkPixie! That fool in the club probably had a cranial-rectal inversion. You keep up the great work!0
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I'm mentally hearing a record scratch, followed by, "can you repeat that? I'm think I had something racist in my ear just now." If she was saying it, I'd have to imagine it wasn't something she didn't believe on some level, and part of it was about putting it out there to find someone with similar opinions.slideaway1 wrote: »
So calling her fat was meant to attract her? Wow. That's messed up. Does that work?
That or he was trying to do what pick up artists calling negging - making her feel bad in hopes that she'll try to prove herself to him. Either is fairly vile behavior.Thanks for sharing, Pink.
You're still young. I urge you to talk to your friends and other people you trust about your anxiety with men in this regard. What this young man thought of you has no bearing on who you are and what your self esteem should be. No man in a club should have that power over you. You should not be anxious of men trying to talk to you.
At a guess, this young man is a pre-rejector. Because he feels rejected by women, he rejects them before they have a chance to reject him. Don't let his emotional problems cause you to not dance in a club for fear of other maladjusted men.
I occasionally still get a drive-by "hey fat momma" "Hey, fat bottom!" (but of course they use a different word) when I'm street running. But those comments, though aimed at me, have nothing to do with me. Their comments have more to do with their own insecurities than the size of my tush.
Don't let men have this power. Talk to some people you trust about this. Get their tactics for preserving self esteem in the face of criticism. Learn from them, find a mentor.
Well how some suck of humans believe it works....if you treat women horribly then they don't think they deserve any better and then they might just accept that your suck of a human being is worth dating. It's pretty nauseating.
Yeah, what he said was massively out of order. The world is full of idiots. Nightclubs are an even more condensed microcosm of idiots because many of them are drunk. However, this is not uncommon and believe it or not girls can be just as brutal as men. I've seen (male) friends get humiliated by girls for just having the courage to talk to them (far worse than this story). I also have my own tragic stories that I'm not prepared to share lol. It shouldn't be this way when you want a fun night out but going clubbing/dancing can be a risky business in terms of self confidence.
That's true enough. I wouldn't consider a nightclub as being any kind of accurate reflection of ordinary human behaviour (most people, both men and women, tend to be nice.)
I have my own story of a girl in All Bar One thinking being rather racist would make me enamoured towards her and buy her a drink. You know the bit in a Western when the music suddenly stops and everyone goes still? Yeah, it was like that...
Sadly, I think you are exactly right.
I was pretty taken aback I have to say. It happened in my mid 20s when I was a lot less equipped to handle social situations, particularly awkward ones, as I am now. I just walked away shaking my head without saying anything.0 -
Is it bad that I'm excited that I know several wrist locks (and ways to break someone's arm) if they tried this with me? Dude, don't touch me unless you want the repercussions of that...
Good point, that's another technique - establish physical contact and violate personal space. They view it as breaking in an animal by getting it to accept a person's touch.
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.0 -
I think the OP is definitely right though to fuel the fire of using this guys negativity to motivate her to go on to better things. I have loads of negative incidents that I draw on to help me push harder in the gym/life. However, I also would probably put it into context that this guy was just a drunk idiot who probably did not even remember saying it the next day and didn't give his behaviour a second though. Yet, it's something that upset you and has clearly stayed with you. That's why people need to be a bit kinder to each other but at the same time don't give to much respect to the comments of di%kheads.0
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Is it bad that I'm excited that I know several wrist locks (and ways to break someone's arm) if they tried this with me? Dude, don't touch me unless you want the repercussions of that...
Good point, that's another technique - establish physical contact and violate personal space. They view it as breaking in an animal by getting it to accept a person's touch.
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
I used to know some. Now I'm rusty. I should get back into that. But failing that, screaming "Get your filthy rape hands off me!" at the top of my lungs might be fun. I can scream LOUD, too.
I mean, if someone is going to ruin my night out, might as well ruin his!0 -
Is it bad that I'm excited that I know several wrist locks (and ways to break someone's arm) if they tried this with me? Dude, don't touch me unless you want the repercussions of that...
Good point, that's another technique - establish physical contact and violate personal space. They view it as breaking in an animal by getting it to accept a person's touch.
But anyway, I suspect he saw a beautiful girl out having a great time and realized that no girl was ever going to have a great time with him. Then he got all sad and bitter and lashed out.
Nah, the ruffling of the hair is a bit of a give away. It's the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails in the playground to get her attention. I smell a spectacularly bad attempt at seduction.
Or the dude was lashed.
I used to know some. Now I'm rusty. I should get back into that. But failing that, screaming "Get your filthy rape hands off me!" at the top of my lungs might be fun. I can scream LOUD, too.
I mean, if someone is going to ruin my night out, might as well ruin his!
I kind of want to be at the club when you do that (except I REALLY hate clubs and large crowds of people). Might be worth the panic attack...0 -
Words are powerful. I can still remember being about 8 years old and a so called friend telling me to go away and that nobody likes me. I'm 32 now and it still haunts me! It crushed my means of making friendships through most of school.
Learn that you can only be in charge of your thoughts and your actions. Don't negatively forcast. If you wake up and say 'urgh another crap Monday' you'll get one. Positive thoughts, actions and interactions are the way to go.
I can't believe the idiot and what he said. Great that you're back on track and have found mfp and the people here. Don't stop believing in yourself and you'll do great!0 -
People suck sometimes. I remember one night when I was a young university student and I overheard a guy refer to me as Gonzo (due to the shape of my nose). Being thin (as I was then) didn't protect me from arseholes who get off on saying mean stuff about other peoples' looks.
Go buy yourself another pink dress, sweetie. You deserve it!0 -
But not a real green dress, that's cruel.0
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