Eating healthy + jealousy?
pianofire
Posts: 15 Member
Okay, I've tried to ignore it... but secretly, jealousy is taking over my weight loss journey. I've tried to blame it on metabolism and a range of other biological factors, but I'm just starting to get so annoyed I need to see if other people have experienced this.
My house mate has the worst diet I think I've ever encountered. Yesterday, I paid attention to what she ate. It was a pretty typical day. She had tuna pasta bake loaded with butter and cheese for breakfast, followed by nachos with the works, a bowl of cereal, a bag of pistachios, soft drink, more pasta and then went out to get KFC chips at about 3am. She weighs 55kg-ish and is the same height as me (163cm-ish).
I know i shouldn't care what others eat... but it's pretty annoying when I basically live off salad, low carb veg, tiny portions of poached lean protein and black coffee. I weigh EVERYTHING but I am and always will be, bigger than her... even though I'm not overweight anymore, I just have to work so much harder to stay a weight that I'm happy with. It makes me so jealous that I've actively fantasized about her getting fat one day. Bad, I know.
It kind of makes me want to throw in the towel altogether.
Anyone else experienced this?
My house mate has the worst diet I think I've ever encountered. Yesterday, I paid attention to what she ate. It was a pretty typical day. She had tuna pasta bake loaded with butter and cheese for breakfast, followed by nachos with the works, a bowl of cereal, a bag of pistachios, soft drink, more pasta and then went out to get KFC chips at about 3am. She weighs 55kg-ish and is the same height as me (163cm-ish).
I know i shouldn't care what others eat... but it's pretty annoying when I basically live off salad, low carb veg, tiny portions of poached lean protein and black coffee. I weigh EVERYTHING but I am and always will be, bigger than her... even though I'm not overweight anymore, I just have to work so much harder to stay a weight that I'm happy with. It makes me so jealous that I've actively fantasized about her getting fat one day. Bad, I know.
It kind of makes me want to throw in the towel altogether.
Anyone else experienced this?
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Replies
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Yes! I posted about my own attempts to starve myself and it does not work. Train your body to increase your metabolism by... wait for it... eating more nutritious foods. You'll gain weight before you lose it. Try not to compare to your house mate. She'll get fat one day!
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Yes! I posted about my own attempts to starve myself and it does not work. Train your body to increase your metabolism by... wait for it... eating more nutritious foods. You'll gain weight before you lose it. Try not to compare to your house mate. She'll get fat one day!
What the what??!? This is so wrong, here. You cannot increase your metabolism by eating healthier foods. You increase your metabolism by increasing you Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) You do this by increasing your lean muscle mass; muscle requires more energy to maintain than fat. Hence you get to eat more. Your roommate may be more active or muscular than you.
Also, you are not with her 24/7. You don't know for sure what she's eating all day, every single day, on a long term scale.
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Yes! I posted about my own attempts to starve myself and it does not work. Train your body to increase your metabolism by... wait for it... eating more nutritious foods. You'll gain weight before you lose it. Try not to compare to your house mate. She'll get fat one day!
And seriously, what a nasty thing to say. Who would wish that on a friend? Awful attitude right there.
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Yes! I posted about my own attempts to starve myself and it does not work. Train your body to increase your metabolism by... wait for it... eating more nutritious foods. You'll gain weight before you lose it. Try not to compare to your house mate. She'll get fat one day!
Yikes!! and wow!!0 -
Yes! I posted about my own attempts to starve myself and it does not work. Train your body to increase your metabolism by... wait for it... eating more nutritious foods. You'll gain weight before you lose it. Try not to compare to your house mate. She'll get fat one day!
Hehe thanks for the support
Perhaps I was being a little dramatic... I'm definitely not starving myself... but oh how I wish I could eat that amount of food and not put on weight. I think I'm better to look at it from a health perspective... if one of us is going to get heart disease later in life, it probably won't be me!
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@AllOutof_Bubblegum is right, you are not with her 24/7 and she may also have different muscle mass. You do you!!
You've got this!!0 -
queenliz99 wrote: »@AllOutof_Bubblegum is right, you are not with her 24/7 and she may also have different muscle mass. You do you!!
You've got this!!
I actually am with her about 15 hours a day most days, if not more... so I can pretty much guarantee that's her regular diet. She mostly spends a lot of time in bed and only ever drives places. I refuse to drive anywhere within walking distance, I do most of the house work and I go to the gym 3/4 times a week. I'm also a lot stronger than her so not sure if the whole muscle mass thing is correct here. Guess I'm just an Amazon. xD
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queenliz99 wrote: »@AllOutof_Bubblegum is right, you are not with her 24/7 and she may also have different muscle mass. You do you!!
You've got this!!
I actually am with her about 15 hours a day most days, if not more... so I can pretty much guarantee that's her regular diet. She mostly spends a lot of time in bed and only ever drives places. I refuse to drive anywhere within walking distance, I do most of the house work and I go to the gym 3/4 times a week. I'm also a lot stronger than her so not sure if the whole muscle mass thing is correct here. Guess I'm just an Amazon. xD
Everybody is different! That is what makes this world so great!! Amazon is what I want to be!!0 -
Counterpoint: she may have an ED and be purging.
Just worry about you and what you're eating.0 -
I wish I could help, but I can definitely offer my sympathy. This has been my entire life. My sister is 5'6" and weighs 110 pounds at her fattest ever. She's a beanpole, and she eats and drinks like crazy. Meanwhile my body clings to weight; at my skinniest a couple years ago I was 140. My mother compares us all the time and people are always telling me how pretty she is. I love her, but it does make everything a lot harder...0
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6502programmer wrote: »
Just worry about you and what you're eating.
+10 -
Yes! I posted about my own attempts to starve myself and it does not work. Train your body to increase your metabolism by... wait for it... eating more nutritious foods. You'll gain weight before you lose it. Try not to compare to your house mate. She'll get fat one day!
Wow. I'm sad for your person, who even thinks this of another?
OP, different people, different metabolism and genetics. It is what it is, so let it go.0 -
Yes, that's a tough situation, especially dealing with it on a daily basis. I experienced the same with a (former) friend who could pretty much eat and drink anything while I had to watch just about every morsel I put in my mouth. Although some would disagree, I do believe it was just a metabolism thing. She was very sedentary, so it wasn't that she had more lean muscle mass. She was a complete slug, drank like a sailor on shore leave, and never gained a pound. I ate very healthy and exercised 4-5 days a week. I was around her enough to know she did not have an ED, it was just the roll of the dice.
Sadly, this person also took a great deal of pleasure in the fact that I struggled with my weight and would often serve up backhanded compliments. If I'd have lost a few pounds she'd say something like, "Awesome that you've been able to shed a few pounds, your backside was looking pretty wide." or "I gave my old jeans to my sister because I know they wouldn't have fit you." Stuff like that. She would also try to push me to overeat, making really fattening dishes then inviting me over or going through fast-food drive-thrus when I was in the car with her. This is one of the reasons we are no longer friends. She reveled in my struggles because it validated her in some weird way. After years of this behavior, I finally discovered I didn't need frien-emies like her in my life. I now choose to surround myself with more positive people who truly support me.
Assuming your friend is not trying to sabotage you, and if you value this friendship, then you'll have to deal with your own jealousy if you can. If you can't get a handle on this, then maybe it's time to find a new house mate!0 -
It's a waste of emotion. You are doing what's right for you, so concentrate on that.0
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I have lots of people do this with me actually.
I am overweight, but when I put my mind to it, can stop myself from gaining weight and lose weight quick.
Before, I was just being lazy.
But some people kinda get annoyed with me cause I eat two brownies and don't gain weight and still lose another pound the following week.
Thanks to MFP by the way.
I just finished a business trip, started off with a buffet of shrimp (not fried) and steamed veggies then nibbled, not ate, on the dessert bar. Had a late night snack of fruit. And through out the two days had snacked on my Fiber One small bars. The meeting I had to sample junk food, then after that and on our way home we had a buffet, I stayed away from bread, fried food and dessert. Then didn't eat at all when I got home.
Then checked my weight this morn for MFP Biggest Loser challenge and hadn't gained a pound.
I had told that to a girl at work cause I was happy with my accomplishment and I got the usual. "I would have gained weight just by looking at that."
I found out that I don't lose weight by salads and all. I found out I maintain and lose weight better by eating as much protein as I can and eating often throughout the entire day.
I know you feel aggravated about seeing your roommate like that, but some people's biology are just different from others.
The girl I was talking about, I work with her girlfriend, and her girlfriend eats like crazy and loses weight in the blink of an eye while her girlfriend has to make a really big push to lose weight.0 -
Think about all the unhealthy things she is putting in her body. She may weigh less but who do you think will be better off if you both got sick?!
Plus it may catch up with her some day?
Your health is your wealth ☺️0 -
Okay, I've tried to ignore it... but secretly, jealousy is taking over my weight loss journey. I've tried to blame it on metabolism and a range of other biological factors, but I'm just starting to get so annoyed I need to see if other people have experienced this.
My house mate has the worst diet I think I've ever encountered. Yesterday, I paid attention to what she ate. It was a pretty typical day. She had tuna pasta bake loaded with butter and cheese for breakfast, followed by nachos with the works, a bowl of cereal, a bag of pistachios, soft drink, more pasta and then went out to get KFC chips at about 3am. She weighs 55kg-ish and is the same height as me (163cm-ish).
I know i shouldn't care what others eat... but it's pretty annoying when I basically live off salad, low carb veg, tiny portions of poached lean protein and black coffee. I weigh EVERYTHING but I am and always will be, bigger than her... even though I'm not overweight anymore, I just have to work so much harder to stay a weight that I'm happy with. It makes me so jealous that I've actively fantasized about her getting fat one day. Bad, I know.
It kind of makes me want to throw in the towel altogether.
Anyone else experienced this?
Maybe you need a different house mate or spend less time together. Find someone fatter than you who struggles even more so you can feel smug. Kidding. Everyone has their own challenges in life. Someone out there is envious of you and how easy you have it.
Your housemate has a different body, different activity level, and eats different food. If she is a healthy weight and isn't gaining or losing then she is getting the right calories for her.
A lot of us have to work harder to lose or maintain.
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InvisibleVeganUnicorn wrote: »she probably spits it out. I do that, I just discovered it helped me break my plateu.
wut?0 -
marsia1234 wrote: »Think about all the unhealthy things she is putting in her body. She may weigh less but who do you think will be better off if you both got sick?!
Plus it may catch up with her some day?
Your health is your wealth ☺️
I could not agree with this more! I work in an industry where pies, large hot meals and beer are very normal and I get odd looks when I stick with my clean, healthier foods. I admit that some days I would love to just demolish pizza, or hot chips and gravy - comfort foods, but then I just think about how much happier my insides are! Yes, your housemate might be 'slimmer' but that doesn't mean she feels good.
Just focus on yourself and your well being.
I found that once I started lifting bigger weights and eating cleanly for most of my diet the volume of food I needed to hit my macros was actually quite big, so I never feel as though I'm starving myself. And if you want some fun recipes to switch up your clean eating, instead of just salad and a tiny portion of lean protein - these are some of my favourite websites;
http://www.movenourishbelieve.com/category/recipes/
https://www.thehealthychef.com/category/recipes/
http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/
Now I make people jealous of what I eat, but it's all good stuff
Good luck, you can do it!0 -
I can't say I have but only because you and I don't think the same. And for those that are putting down your flatmate- who knows, she could have a more active metabolism. What she puts into her body shouldn't affect you as what you put in yours shouldn't affect her. You chose the food you eat so why is that her fault? You could choose absolutely delicious, organic and or healthy food should you wish as well. No one is forcing you to eat poached eggs
Honestly, I think you're setting yourself up for failure by saying things like: "I'll always be bigger than her."(maybe, maybe not and so what?) I think those thoughts trap us and your mind is very important to have control over when you're on a journey like this. Negative thoughts have to go and a mindset change has to follow in order for this to stick.
Did you know that you can eat the foods you love, including KFC chips and pasta bake? Just have 20% of that and eat healthy foods you like at an 80%. Or, have small amounts of those, keep track of your calories, and work out. You don't have to suffer and act bitter towards your journey or your flat mate, just change your blue print.0 -
Ageou really spend 15 hours a day with her? I have two young children and a husband who I don't even spend that much time a day with! Perhaps this relationship between the two of you isn't the healthiest and spending time with other people with different body shapes and sizes, as well as eating habits, might help you get a better perspective.
I don't feel jealous of what other people eat anymore. I did used to be jealous of my sisters for being able to eat whatever they wanted and then realised that really they were eating the high calorie foods in smaller portions than I was without thinking about it too much. I'm of the opinion this is what it's like for most seemingly effortless slim people.
Age and experience have taught me that there is no point bothering with this attitude anymore. You can either spend your life being jealous and miserable about all the things you don't have, or be happy knowing all the good things in your life. Just because your friend is thinner than you, this doesn't make her any more valuable a person.0 -
queenliz99 wrote: »@AllOutof_Bubblegum is right, you are not with her 24/7 and she may also have different muscle mass. You do you!!
You've got this!!
I actually am with her about 15 hours a day most days, if not more... so I can pretty much guarantee that's her regular diet. She mostly spends a lot of time in bed and only ever drives places. I refuse to drive anywhere within walking distance, I do most of the house work and I go to the gym 3/4 times a week. I'm also a lot stronger than her so not sure if the whole muscle mass thing is correct here. Guess I'm just an Amazon. xD
I secretly wish Fat on people too !! 0 -
Yes I used to be jealous about things like this. Then I got into my late 40s and saw these women I used to be so jealous of go through the sad and inevitable things that randomly and unluckily happen as life goes along.
Some got widowed, some got breast cancer, some lost their only child to an early death, one hit her head on a brick staircase after slipping while shoveling snow and ended up in a padded wheelchair with irreversible brain damage.
I'm not attributing any of these things to eating crisps and chocolate. I'm just saying life gets more and more real as you get older. You get more selective about the things you choose to be jealous about. Who has thinner thighs while enjoying heaps of spaghetti and meatballs is put in its proper perspective. It doesn't matter much.
Very well said. Life struggles happen to all of us and attitude is how we deal with it.
Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.0 -
I have been there, and have also tried to will myself into thinking I can eat anything and have a slender figure. After trying a few times, I just had to accept the fact that my metabolism is different than some. Actually, to put it into perspective, HER metabolism is different than most. Here are some fast facts to prove it:
Fast Facts
Data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, 2009–2010 2, 3
More than 2 in 3 adults are considered to be overweight or obese.
More than 1 in 3 adults are considered to be obese.
More than 1 in 20 adults are considered to have extreme obesity.
About one-third of children and adolescents ages 6 to 19 are considered to be overweight or obese.
More than 1 in 6 children and adolescents ages 6 to 19 are considered to be obese.
http://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/Pages/overweight-obesity-statistics.aspx
So while MOST of us have to be mindful of what we are eating, those with special genes may eat anything thing want. Most likely that will cause other health problems, but like many have said on here...it shouldn't affect your health goals. Everyone is different in some fashion. Just do what YOUR body needs. And like someone else on here said, you can rev up your metabolism by doing more exercise, most notably, weights. There was a post by someone on MFP with photos to show the difference between losing weight/maintaining her figure through running, and another period through lifting weights. The most notable difference in your abdominal area was through lifting weights. And she was able to eat a little more as well. I noticed for me, when I do core exercises and some weights, my stomach gets flatter and I don't eat as much. I do this along with running 3 or 4 times a week.
Life is not fair. We just have to be thankful for what we DO have! :-)0 -
Well I used to be 92lbs and ate junk all the time. Then I got sick and fat. Just because someone is skinny doesnt mean theyre healthy. So try not to be jealous... You never know if one day she'll get fat, or one day have something even worse happen to her. As a friend, you should be happy that she doesnt have to struggle with weight, honestly. Be happy for your body and focus on you. 0
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InvisibleVeganUnicorn wrote: »she probably spits it out. I do that, I just discovered it helped me break my plateu.
This sounds unhealthy.0 -
You would be an unusual person if you didn't always know someone who had one or even two traits that you envied...richer, prettier, stronger, more popular, smarter, whatever. Getting over it early is good for your long-term mental health. You be you, and focus on building yourself up, on your own little victories and improvements. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday, not to who anyone else is today.0
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Mercsgirl1 wrote: »queenliz99 wrote: »@AllOutof_Bubblegum is right, you are not with her 24/7 and she may also have different muscle mass. You do you!!
You've got this!!
I actually am with her about 15 hours a day most days, if not more... so I can pretty much guarantee that's her regular diet. She mostly spends a lot of time in bed and only ever drives places. I refuse to drive anywhere within walking distance, I do most of the house work and I go to the gym 3/4 times a week. I'm also a lot stronger than her so not sure if the whole muscle mass thing is correct here. Guess I'm just an Amazon. xD
I secretly wish Fat on people too !!
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Okay, I've tried to ignore it... but secretly, jealousy is taking over my weight loss journey. I've tried to blame it on metabolism and a range of other biological factors, but I'm just starting to get so annoyed I need to see if other people have experienced this.
My house mate has the worst diet I think I've ever encountered. Yesterday, I paid attention to what she ate. It was a pretty typical day. She had tuna pasta bake loaded with butter and cheese for breakfast, followed by nachos with the works, a bowl of cereal, a bag of pistachios, soft drink, more pasta and then went out to get KFC chips at about 3am. She weighs 55kg-ish and is the same height as me (163cm-ish).
I know i shouldn't care what others eat... but it's pretty annoying when I basically live off salad, low carb veg, tiny portions of poached lean protein and black coffee. I weigh EVERYTHING but I am and always will be, bigger than her... even though I'm not overweight anymore, I just have to work so much harder to stay a weight that I'm happy with. It makes me so jealous that I've actively fantasized about her getting fat one day. Bad, I know.
It kind of makes me want to throw in the towel altogether.
Anyone else experienced this?
Ummmmmm, I'm going to go with no. Envy? Sure. Wishing for something bad to happen to another person when they've not done anything wrong? Nope.
I have never wished for anyone that's thinner than me to be fat.
I have never wished anyone prettier than me to have acid poured on their face.
I have never wished for anyone faster than me to break a leg.
I have never wished for someone in a better financial situation to experience financial ruin.
I have never thought of myself as the nicest person but I guess I'm not as mean is I thought I was. Maybe I am mean but I'm up front about it.0
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