All the Lies

CoffeeNCardio

Hey all, I thought it would be cool to talk about (especially new people like myself) some of the things we tell/told ourselves when we were in denial about our weight. I'm not saying reopen old wounds or anything, please don't, but I think it's helpful to hear things like this:

I used to tell myself that my genes (everyone in my family is overweight and unfit) were the reason for my situation. Then I took a really hard look at my family and realized that NO ONE is fit because they don't do anything to be fit! Realizing this really freed me and my thinking to allow for the possibility that I could be fit if I changed. I felt trapped, like I was gonna be this way forever and there was no hope, because how could there be? Now I know there is hope! I can do this!

What barriers of thought did you have and how did you overcome them?

ScrAgnX

That I don't have time to work out. I still drive 3 hours per day and work 10-12, but there's plenty of time if I don't waste my time on the couch when I get home.

AddieOverhaul

That I couldn't do things because of my back/asthma. I've now run a 5k and hike up mountains all the time.

CoffeeNCardio

@ScrAgnX I feel that! I was always complaining my toddler took too much attention, but he DOES nap 1.5-2 hrs a day and I'm not working so what the heck was that excuse?!

@AddieOverhaul So glad to hear you were able to power through that! Have you found your asthma has gotten better or that it wasn't really asthma to begin with? I hear a lot of people on here say that they thought they had asthma but that it was just unfitness, or that they had asthma for real and that the symptoms got better or went away entirely when they got fit? Which was it for you?

These are great keep em comin!

JenAndSome

I gained weight after getting into a relationship about 6 years ago. Shortly after I started dating a guy his ex had his son and pretty much just gave the baby to us. I told myself that it was okay to be heavier because people would just assume he was my baby and that it was baby weight. Hahahahha. Sad but true.

On a bright note I dropped the guy but still get the kid. Best kind of winning.

CoffeeNCardio

@JenAndSome Oh my god I love that you stepped in for that boy, what a generous thing to do, you motivate me! I had those feelings too. I was 186 the day I gave birth to my son (woot all natural!) and 141 several months later then I gained it ALL back and I thought "Well, after all I did just have a baby, no one expects me to look good in a bikini right now". But that was just an excuse not to put in the effort. And I kept using that excuse for TWO YEARS. He's just over two now and I finally realized that doesn't hold water anymore! Hooray for shedding the weight of poor thinking!

thebobogrind

That my hypothyroidism, my genes, and my history of always being the bigger girl are the reasons for me being overweight at 31years old.
My weight has fluctuated over time and Although I do love the gym, I get 'lazy' and just don't make it out and/or I overeat and think- 'it's ok I'll make up for it tomorrow'.

NO- I need to count calories and get to the gym- period!

Bobo

CoffeeNCardio

@thebobo6740 I have done that exact same thing for YEARS. I definitely have a lazy streak in my genes ha ha. You just get to a point where being comfortable is less comfortable than looking in the mirror! And look at us now! No more! You motivate me! That's so awesome!

thebobogrind

I'm not 60lba down... Lol where did you see that?! Hahaha omg in only 7.5 lbs down... I wish I was 60lba down... Lol

CoffeeNCardio

@thebobo6740 Sorry I am so not awake yet, I can barely think before my coffee kicks in (my own d fault for staying up late) I meant to go ha ha. Cause I thought it was cool how close our goals are!

CoffeeNCardio

Ha! there's another denial! I don't get adequate sleep because "I can't shut my brain off at night". That's not true. I'm coming to accept that if I'm not tired, it's cause I was lazy that day, or because I don't have the willpower to shut off the screens and calm my system enough to sleep. I need to put in the effort to put away the electronics earlier and actively get myself into the right state for sleep.

thebobogrind

And the later we go to sleep the more I sleep in.. So I changed my work schedule from 12-8, to 7:30-4, which forces me to get up at 7 (I work from home) instead of 11:30am... And by doing this, at 11:30pm I'm getting sleepy.. Otherwise it was 3-4am and I was still awake...

CoffeeNCardio

@thebobo6740 See I've been doing that same thing. I am a stay at home mom, so I don't actually have to get up til 730 when my kid gets up. But I find the temptation of alone time after he goes to bed SO hard to resist. It's the only time I get where I'm not at his beck and call, so I have taken to really extending it too much. I think I need a vacation from moming! But my goal is to set and keep a bedtime for me, cause it makes the constance of his demands seem awful, as opposed to an incredible gift, when if I was getting adequate sleep it wouldn't have this effect on my psyche. I don't want to feel annoyed by him, and I know now that I wouldn't be if I wasn't exhausted all the time.

Kullerva

Honestly, I resisted losing weight for a long time. I knew I needed to lose (only about 30 lbs or so) in college, but the men (boys, really) ogled me enough at my current weight and I didn't want the hassle of being thinner. (I'm asexual so this was a real problem on a college campus.) It was only when I realized that I was sabotaging myself and my health because of others' reactions toward me that I started losing weight. Now I don't care if people stare--my glare of death is very practiced and effective.

nutmegoreo

I'm not really eating that much, besides I just walked to work and that burns enough calories for me to have earned these chocolate bars (yes, plural).

SuggaD

The only thing I told myself was that I didn't have time. I still don't have time. I mean, there are only 24 hours in the day. But I now make the time to get my training in. It's all about trade-offs.

CoffeeNCardio

@Kullerva Isn't it freeing to decide to do something for YOU and not from external pressure to be a certain way?! Good onya!

@nutmegoreo I feel that. That's part of the reason I NEED this app. I am the queen of rationalization. So I need the math to keep my ability to make any logic work in my head in check!

CoffeeNCardio

@SuggaD It really is. To be fair to everyone, it's true that people don't have time in their current schedule. But it's not because they can't make time, it's because they haven't chosen to replace one activity in this time slot or that to a better activity. I did that with my son's naptime. It used to be my me-time. Relaxation. Now it's my me-time to get the body I've always wanted!

FortMaryB

My biggest lie was that I was "at the weight my body seems to want to be at." Um, no...I was working out but eating *lots* of sugary snacks, which made me unable to take off the weight.

ohmyllama

Ohhh... I'm the queen of excuses and lying to myself!!

12 years, 10 brain injuries, a few broken bones later, along with lupus, moving to the city and college... went up 10 sizes... and those were all my excuses. I'm sure there are a dozen more excuses too. I've been looking at old pictures of me recently, and have just realized that I had NO excuse to gain this weight. None.

Throughout the years I would tell myself that my weight gain was from the accidents and my health issues and there was nothing I could've done to prevent it. I really was bedridden for a while, but still... it was me who put all that food in my mouth. My life revolved around food and what was going to be in front of me next. I would even do "mental exercises" to make myself "hungry," just so I had an excuse to eat even more. Seriously. I would tell myself that if I ate, then I was in less pain. Pffft. It doesn't work that way.

I'll no longer allow food- or my past injuries or health issues- or stress from college- control my life. I really have no excuses now anyways. I'm healthy. I'm not in pain. I'm never hungry. I live 30 minutes away from the nearest fast food. I have all the resources to buy and cook healthy food. I have an incredibly low, low, low level of stress. I have my doctors and family as supporters. I have horses who need my attention. It's time to finally KICK THIS WEIGHT IN THE BUTT!! No more excuses.

Now, watch... I'll go post on another board with an excuse. LOL it's just such a bad habit!!

Therealobi1

I used to think I didn't have time to work out even though I work from home
I also used to say I don't eat alot it was the types of food I ate that made me big. As soon as I started logging my eyes were wide open. Not looked back since.

mandarkio

i've been telling myself for years that my weight is empowering and that beauty comes in all sizes (and i totally believe that it does). i even had a 'fatshion' blog. in reality i am super unhappy with my body but was too lazy to work for what i want. i've only been at this for five weeks but already i'm feeling and seeing the benefits. i can almost believe that someday i'll look in the mirror and be genuinely happy with my reflection.

amberlyda1

I made the mistake of living in my yoga pants. Those suckers can stretch! I didnt step on a scale for a long time. I used depression as my excuse. Funny after some time, I started taking care of myself and I started to feel better.

CoffeeNCardio

These are all amazing you guys and SO motivating! I hope someone comes along and reads this and says "Oh, I didn't even realize but I do that too, now I know what to work on in my thinking!"

Thanks so much for your input! Keep 'em Coming!!!

madhatter2013

I resisted losing weight because because my husband kept telling me that he wanted a thicker woman. He married me when I was fat and didn't want me to lose it. I told him I loved being his trophy wife but I wanted to be a more active, more fit trophy wife.

deescrafty

My family was my excuse. I would blame my size and weight on genetics, instead
of the fact that the diet my family ate was the same foods and proportions that had been eaten when my great grandparents had been farmers. We lived in a multi generational household where family heavy, carb laden foods were served three times a day with desserts at every meal and plenty of sweet snacks all day long. It is no wonder that Everyone for the last 4 generations developed diabetes 2. And I fell into the trap, and really, I knew better. Now I have to fight my way through 120 LBs of fat to find myself. The only blessing finding out in July that I had an A1c that showed I had developed diabetes was that this time I need to take changing my lifestyle seriously or risk horrible complications and early death. My blood sugars are now in normal range, and I'm keeping them there!

tltmom

I appreciate everyone's honesty.
My lie was that I could never fight the craving to overeat sweets. That it was more powerful than I am. Turns out that was wrong.

Artemiris

That it would be impossible for me to lose weight while I take my medications.

vegan4lyfe2012

You really got me thinking…reading your original post and everyone’s responses. I am sure I’ve had more excuses than I could count… Family genetics… 3 babies in 5 years… beauty comes in all sizes… boyfriend doesn’t care about my size… I could go on and on.

I ended up being on my own with 3 children for a dozen years. Sadness set in with the longing that my children’s father and I could one day be back together again. We had met when we were 19 and had our first child together when I was 21 and he was 22. It broke my heart that we couldn’t be together…understanding now that it was simply immaturity on both our parts.

One day I was in the back bedroom and the phone in the kitchen rang. I started running down the hallway and tripped and fell…HARD. It hurt physically, but then it hurt emotionally. That was the day I realized that I had become what I used to make fun of (back in high school). How can I blame genetics for being 210# when I was a mere 115# back in high school? How could I allow myself to be so unhealthy when I had 3 children to care for?

That happened about 5 years ago. I determined that I was going to be fit and healthy. It took a long time, but I lost 57 pounds. I felt great and was confident in my skin.

Then, about 2 years ago, depression set in. My son was graduating from high school. I was now the parent of an adult. My middle daughter would be graduating in one more year and then I’d be almost-empty nesting with just my youngest daughter. The depression was so bad. Every sadness was filled with food. I would binge until I felt like I was going to vomit. I gained every bit of the weight back, less 5#.

So there I was…up to 205# again with no one (and nothing) to blame. I started seeing a therapist weekly. She really opened my eyes to the fact that I treated myself as only “mom” instead of my own person. I decided I needed to start doing things for myself, too. It had been 12 years since their father and I had been together, but I opened up to him and told him I still loved him. Warm fuzzies – he felt the same way!

Now, I don’t want you to think I have only lost weight because of him, because that wouldn’t be right. I have been learning to love myself…love that I am more than just a mom. That I can open up and share with their father and he shares with me. We’ve been back together for just over 6 months…and I’m down 45 pounds. I’m feeling good about ME.

So…no more excuses. We need to learn to love OURSELVES.

maroonmango211

That having kids meant I could never have the body I wanted. That it was just my body type to be heavier (big boned, wide shoulders/hips etc). That my asthma, bad knees and anxiety/depression were too much to get in the way. It goes on...

Mostly it was the all or nothing thinking, this was the biggest hurdle. That I would have to give up almost everything, my favorite foods, family time, wine, coffee, my sense of style, my ambition, interests and hobbies to focus on eating healthy and exercising. That I would have to eat steamed veggies and grilled chicken breast for months on end while only sipping water and unsweetened tea. That I would have to dedicate any "extra" waking moment to burning calories. That anyone who committed to that kind of life was a crazy person and I didn't want to put myself or my family through that.

Funny thing is now I love spending a good chunk of time on fitness and healthy eating. Did I give up some stuff? Well yes, but nothing I'd trade for being much fitter, healthier and happier with how I look and feel. Looking back I must have said dozens of times " I'll never be one of those people that counts calories every day and can't wait to work out and eat veggies." Oops

c50blvdbabe

Definitely the genetics. I gain and keep weight around my middle and am built like my grandmothers.
But more importantly, I tell myself I work out and run so I can eat whatever I want. Such a BIG BIG BIG LIE!!!!!! I've learned that exercise is at most 15% of the equation for me at least.