Family Support

1468910

Replies

  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    edited October 2015
    MommyL2015 wrote: »
    My family eats what I cook. If they don't like it, they go hungry or cook their own food. This isn't a restaurant and I don't hand out menus.

    I actually said that our kitchen wasn't a restaurant just yesterday. lol. My kids are still really little so I get that sometimes my food is too fancy for them on occasion, or that they just don't like the veggie I made. I have 2 options. You eat what I made and you can sub a fruit in for a veggie if you just don't like it.

    I've always fed my kids pretty healthy and a good variety of food. Sadly, left to their own devices they would both eat chicken nuggets every single day.
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    Just in case anyone doesn't read all of her threads, the OP's current lifestyle causes her to drink half of her daily meager calories in wine and inappropriately display extremely dysfunctional self images of herself and negative self talk. She's coping with the stress of her lifestyle via alcohol, binge-restrict cycles, and living in denial about the power she has and how much control she has over the choices she makes every day.

    Presumably because these threads advocated VLCD, they have been deleted, but they did exist, and this is a good summary of them.

    Just for the record I no longer drink half my daily calories in wine and perhaps I was avoiding things when I was and perhaps that is why I have been looking at things a little different.

    The "record"? As of Tuesday you mean?

    I'm trying to be very in-your-face-realist with you, and I know it sounds harsh sometimes. But -- real talk -- you can hide reality/lie to yourself and your family about the effect your life is having on you and live your life any way you want. But I WILL call you out on contradictions.

    The eating disorder is not "the problem." The drinking is not "the problem." You can fix the drinking and fix the amount of calories you eat, but you are still. not. fixing. the "problem."

    And how would you like me to fix the problem. I can not do everything at once. Right now I would like to fix what I can so that I can be focused on other things that need to be "fixed".
    I can not make others change for me I must change for me.

    As I've said in previous threads, I don't know what the "problem" is. You might not know yet, either, and that's ok. Trauma, abuse or maladaptive coping mechanisms... I don't know why you punish yourself. And I don't know where you learned it's ok to treat yourself this way.

    I don't know maybe I will figure it out someday.

    Would you consider yourself a perfectionist when it comes to things about yourself?

    Yes and as I am so lovingly called a control freak oh and last but not least never wrong.
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    See so the funny thing is right now I am happy? Happy with myself. Maybe not happy with others actions, but right now happy with me is good. Don't get me wrong there will be a discussion when I feel the time is right for me. Not sure yet when it will be perhaps this weekend. I'm not sure it is going to end well and would prefer my children not be around.
    So here's to being happy.

    I recommend the goal of the discussion be just enough to convince him to come to couples therapy and you not try to work everything out with him until he has learned better communication skills.

    I don't really want him there
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    bpetrosky wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    Just in case anyone doesn't read all of her threads, the OP's current lifestyle causes her to drink half of her daily meager calories in wine and inappropriately display extremely dysfunctional self images of herself and negative self talk. She's coping with the stress of her lifestyle via alcohol, binge-restrict cycles, and living in denial about the power she has and how much control she has over the choices she makes every day.

    Presumably because these threads advocated VLCD, they have been deleted, but they did exist, and this is a good summary of them.

    Just for the record I no longer drink half my daily calories in wine and perhaps I was avoiding things when I was and perhaps that is why I have been looking at things a little different.

    The "record"? As of Tuesday you mean?

    I'm trying to be very in-your-face-realist with you, and I know it sounds harsh sometimes. But -- real talk -- you can hide reality/lie to yourself and your family about the effect your life is having on you and live your life any way you want. But I WILL call you out on contradictions.

    The eating disorder is not "the problem." The drinking is not "the problem." You can fix the drinking and fix the amount of calories you eat, but you are still. not. fixing. the "problem."

    And how would you like me to fix the problem. I can not do everything at once. Right now I would like to fix what I can so that I can be focused on other things that need to be "fixed".
    I can not make others change for me I must change for me.

    As I've said in previous threads, I don't know what the "problem" is. You might not know yet, either, and that's ok. Trauma, abuse or maladaptive coping mechanisms... I don't know why you punish yourself. And I don't know where you learned it's ok to treat yourself this way.

    I don't know maybe I will figure it out someday.

    But are you going to do anything to proactively understand yourself and address your challenges? That can't be accomplished in an internet forum asking questions about the tangential issues. Passively waiting for enlightenment will only continue to frustrate yourself and your loved ones.

    Already working on it.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    Just in case anyone doesn't read all of her threads, the OP's current lifestyle causes her to drink half of her daily meager calories in wine and inappropriately display extremely dysfunctional self images of herself and negative self talk. She's coping with the stress of her lifestyle via alcohol, binge-restrict cycles, and living in denial about the power she has and how much control she has over the choices she makes every day.

    Presumably because these threads advocated VLCD, they have been deleted, but they did exist, and this is a good summary of them.

    Just for the record I no longer drink half my daily calories in wine and perhaps I was avoiding things when I was and perhaps that is why I have been looking at things a little different.

    The "record"? As of Tuesday you mean?

    I'm trying to be very in-your-face-realist with you, and I know it sounds harsh sometimes. But -- real talk -- you can hide reality/lie to yourself and your family about the effect your life is having on you and live your life any way you want. But I WILL call you out on contradictions.

    The eating disorder is not "the problem." The drinking is not "the problem." You can fix the drinking and fix the amount of calories you eat, but you are still. not. fixing. the "problem."

    And how would you like me to fix the problem. I can not do everything at once. Right now I would like to fix what I can so that I can be focused on other things that need to be "fixed".
    I can not make others change for me I must change for me.

    As I've said in previous threads, I don't know what the "problem" is. You might not know yet, either, and that's ok. Trauma, abuse or maladaptive coping mechanisms... I don't know why you punish yourself. And I don't know where you learned it's ok to treat yourself this way.

    I don't know maybe I will figure it out someday.

    Would you consider yourself a perfectionist when it comes to things about yourself?

    Yes and as I am so lovingly called a control freak oh and last but not least never wrong.

    What's the worst thing that could happen if you're not perfect?
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    If the day that you listed is typical then stop trying to make family dinners happen, sounds like it is causing more stress to you. I think that family meals need to be something that is established early on and that both parents value. Cook up a big batch of something and leave it in the fridge, The family can help themselves when they are hungry and if they want something else they can cook it themselves.

    We used to always do family meals when the kids were small I would get them at daycare or after school care and make dinner. As they have grown it gets harder and harder. But I still like the idea everyone is so disconnected.
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    Just in case anyone doesn't read all of her threads, the OP's current lifestyle causes her to drink half of her daily meager calories in wine and inappropriately display extremely dysfunctional self images of herself and negative self talk. She's coping with the stress of her lifestyle via alcohol, binge-restrict cycles, and living in denial about the power she has and how much control she has over the choices she makes every day.

    Presumably because these threads advocated VLCD, they have been deleted, but they did exist, and this is a good summary of them.

    Just for the record I no longer drink half my daily calories in wine and perhaps I was avoiding things when I was and perhaps that is why I have been looking at things a little different.

    The "record"? As of Tuesday you mean?

    I'm trying to be very in-your-face-realist with you, and I know it sounds harsh sometimes. But -- real talk -- you can hide reality/lie to yourself and your family about the effect your life is having on you and live your life any way you want. But I WILL call you out on contradictions.

    The eating disorder is not "the problem." The drinking is not "the problem." You can fix the drinking and fix the amount of calories you eat, but you are still. not. fixing. the "problem."

    And how would you like me to fix the problem. I can not do everything at once. Right now I would like to fix what I can so that I can be focused on other things that need to be "fixed".
    I can not make others change for me I must change for me.

    As I've said in previous threads, I don't know what the "problem" is. You might not know yet, either, and that's ok. Trauma, abuse or maladaptive coping mechanisms... I don't know why you punish yourself. And I don't know where you learned it's ok to treat yourself this way.

    I don't know maybe I will figure it out someday.

    Would you consider yourself a perfectionist when it comes to things about yourself?

    Yes and as I am so lovingly called a control freak oh and last but not least never wrong.

    What's the worst thing that could happen if you're not perfect?

    You ask very difficult questions. I guess I would not be liked
  • soapsandropes
    soapsandropes Posts: 269 Member
    Then maybe make it bigger stink about it. If you want your youngest to be home for dinner then he needs to be home for dinner, not asleep at the GF's house. When my sister and I were in sports my Dad would eat with the person who had dinner before practice and my Mom would eat with the kid who ate after practice, and family dinner on the weekends was not avoidable unless approved ahead of time.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    edited October 2015
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    WBB55 wrote: »
    Just in case anyone doesn't read all of her threads, the OP's current lifestyle causes her to drink half of her daily meager calories in wine and inappropriately display extremely dysfunctional self images of herself and negative self talk. She's coping with the stress of her lifestyle via alcohol, binge-restrict cycles, and living in denial about the power she has and how much control she has over the choices she makes every day.

    Presumably because these threads advocated VLCD, they have been deleted, but they did exist, and this is a good summary of them.

    Just for the record I no longer drink half my daily calories in wine and perhaps I was avoiding things when I was and perhaps that is why I have been looking at things a little different.

    The "record"? As of Tuesday you mean?

    I'm trying to be very in-your-face-realist with you, and I know it sounds harsh sometimes. But -- real talk -- you can hide reality/lie to yourself and your family about the effect your life is having on you and live your life any way you want. But I WILL call you out on contradictions.

    The eating disorder is not "the problem." The drinking is not "the problem." You can fix the drinking and fix the amount of calories you eat, but you are still. not. fixing. the "problem."

    And how would you like me to fix the problem. I can not do everything at once. Right now I would like to fix what I can so that I can be focused on other things that need to be "fixed".
    I can not make others change for me I must change for me.

    As I've said in previous threads, I don't know what the "problem" is. You might not know yet, either, and that's ok. Trauma, abuse or maladaptive coping mechanisms... I don't know why you punish yourself. And I don't know where you learned it's ok to treat yourself this way.

    I don't know maybe I will figure it out someday.

    Would you consider yourself a perfectionist when it comes to things about yourself?

    Yes and as I am so lovingly called a control freak oh and last but not least never wrong.

    What's the worst thing that could happen if you're not perfect?

    You ask very difficult questions. I guess I would not be liked


    Who would not like you?

    I'm not perfect, and I like myself. None of my friends are perfect, and I like them.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    If the day that you listed is typical then stop trying to make family dinners happen, sounds like it is causing more stress to you. I think that family meals need to be something that is established early on and that both parents value. Cook up a big batch of something and leave it in the fridge, The family can help themselves when they are hungry and if they want something else they can cook it themselves.

    We used to always do family meals when the kids were small I would get them at daycare or after school care and make dinner. As they have grown it gets harder and harder. But I still like the idea everyone is so disconnected.

    But it sounds like your family IS connected is some other ways -- conversation, shared activities, common interests (like hockey?). Sometimes having a dream of what a perfect family or relationship looks like can blind us to the ways that our family or relationship IS good. So you don't eat dinner together like a TV family. But maybe you are meeting your goal of connection in other ways?
  • WeighToGoJudy
    WeighToGoJudy Posts: 43 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    So, after months of you posting about what you eat (or rather what you don't eat, because reasons), and getting great advice from people here, you have now manipulated the focus onto what your family eats and what time they eat it. Well played @superhockeymom, well played.

    Yes because there will be a whole new group of folks who will empathize with the frustrated mom just trying to get healthy but her family is not on board...,

    Oh thank god someone else said it. I thought I was the only one seeing the same dead horse being beat over and over and over. Again.
  • mrsnazario1219
    mrsnazario1219 Posts: 173 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    So, after months of you posting about what you eat (or rather what you don't eat, because reasons), and getting great advice from people here, you have now manipulated the focus onto what your family eats and what time they eat it. Well played @superhockeymom, well played.

    Yes because there will be a whole new group of folks who will empathize with the frustrated mom just trying to get healthy but her family is not on board...,

    Oh thank god someone else said it. I thought I was the only one seeing the same dead horse being beat over and over and over. Again.


    Hey never asked for this to go in this direction I just answer people's questions
    The original post has long since changed into something not comfortable for me and really not at all what I wanted.
  • WeighToGoJudy
    WeighToGoJudy Posts: 43 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.

    So now I'm a monster. Please see my comment above I did not turn this into what it became. I am a very happy person getting along just fine. But apparently I am also a master manipulator that actually made me laugh.
    I have no control over people trust me.
    Have a great day.
  • mrsnazario1219
    mrsnazario1219 Posts: 173 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.

    So now I'm a monster. Please see my comment above I did not turn this into what it became. I am a very happy person getting along just fine. But apparently I am also a master manipulator that actually made me laugh.
    I have no control over people trust me.
    Have a great day.

    No, I didn't say YOU were the monster. Your disorder is.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.

    So now I'm a monster. Please see my comment above I did not turn this into what it became. I am a very happy person getting along just fine. But apparently I am also a master manipulator that actually made me laugh.
    I have no control over people trust me.
    Have a great day.

    No, I didn't say YOU were the monster. Your disorder is.

    Remember, Patti, the story I told about the monster guarding the door to your conscious mind?
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    From my perspective, here's how it goes as things travel across the air from your family's mouth to your brain.

    They say: I like hamburger helper, who doesn't like hamburger helper?
    **MONSTER TRANSLATES INCOMING MESSAGE**
    You hear: If you don't make me hamburger helper, you're not a perfect mom

    You think: The people on the forums asked what kind of food they eat for dinner
    **MONSTER TRANSLATES OUTGOING MESSAGE**
    You tell us: They complain and pick on me if I make vegetables
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    Ok now I feel stupid yes I remember
    Wow did my defenses go up quick. Sorry I should work on that.
  • ohmyllama
    ohmyllama Posts: 161 Member
    This is SO SIMPLE and you're making it into a huge deal. I don't understand...
  • sallygroundhog
    sallygroundhog Posts: 133 Member

    I recommend the goal of the discussion be just enough to convince him to come to couples therapy and you not try to work everything out with him until he has learned better communication skills.[/quote]

    I don't really want him there [/quote]


    It would be great if you went even by yourself. This is something you could be doing just for you. A therapist can understand your situation better than us on this forum.
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    Ok so it's all in my interpretation so it really is all on me.
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member

    I recommend the goal of the discussion be just enough to convince him to come to couples therapy and you not try to work everything out with him until he has learned better communication skills.

    I don't really want him there [/quote]


    It would be great if you went even by yourself. This is something you could be doing just for you. A therapist can understand your situation better than us on this forum. [/quote]

    I already have a therapist we discuss everything that comes up here
  • MorganMoreaux
    MorganMoreaux Posts: 691 Member
    edited October 2015
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.

    I really think it's a gimmick for attention. Look at all the time that is being spent posting to the forum...I would be hard pressed to work full time, be the sole 'care caretaker' of the house, raise two kids, and take care of a husband who does 'nothing' to contribute, while finding the time to drink copious amounts of wine and spending the better part of the day posting to the forum.

    No doubt the OP has issues, but it's not the ones she talks about on this forum (and contradicts on a regular basis.) I suspect by responding to her problems people may be doing more harm than good. After reading through several of her threads, most have been deleted, I think she needs more intensive professional help than seeing a therapist every now and then. Nothing about the OP sounds rational when sitting down and reading through her threads (particularly the deleted ones), and I don't think giving advice (no matter how well meaning) is beneficial to somebody who is so unstable. We don't know what her triggers are and how she reacts in person which could have a further negative impact on the two children that are living with her, who are no doubt already trying to deal with a difficult situation.

    I am not trying to be harsh or mean, and I sincerely hope the OP can get to point where she is physically and mentally healthy, but it sounds like a potentially dangerous situation for both the OP and her family.

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Here's the sad reality for people-pleasers. They are viewed as pushovers and are often taken advantage of. The one thing they desire, to be treated with dignity and respect, is denied them. Everyone has the right to be treated fairly, as in, "Hey! I resent that! Let's not do that again, mmmkay?" Then go eat a cookie. Everyone deserves a cookie once in a while.

    As for finding the reason @superhockeymom why you allow yourself to be mistreated, you can certainly find it. But not if you randomly wave a flashbeam around in the dark.

    "A police officer sees a drunken man intently searching the ground near a lamppost and asks him the goal of his quest. The inebriate replies that he is looking for his car keys, and the officer helps for a few minutes without success then he asks whether the man is certain that he dropped the keys near the lamppost.

    “No,” is the reply, “I lost the keys somewhere across the street.” “Why look here?” asks the surprised and irritated officer. “The light is much better here,” the intoxicated man responds with aplomb."

    http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/04/11/better-light/

    Teenagers are notoriously mobile, and you have very busy teenagers. Perhaps a family conference where you ask for one dinner a week or one dinner a month might work, and for the rest of the time, let these young men feed themselves (as in the example you liked above). I do think it would be good for the boys to see you sit down and eat together with the rest of the family once in a while. So that eating is seen as a part of relaxation, pleasure, and conversation.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    Ok so it's all in my interpretation so it really is all on me.

    How you FEEL about it is all on you. How you turn it into something that makes you feel like you're not being perfect is all on you. Whether you use it as an excuse to punish yourself is ALL ON YOU. How you talk about hating yourself when you look at a picture of yourself is ALL ON YOU.
  • superhockeymom
    superhockeymom Posts: 2,000 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.

    I really think it's a gimmick for attention. Look at all the time that is being spent posting to the forum...I would be hard pressed to work full time, be the sole 'care caretaker' of the house, raise two kids, and take care of a husband who does 'nothing' to contribute, while finding the time to drink copious amounts of wine and spending the better part of the day posting to the forum.

    No doubt the OP has issues, but it's not the ones she talks about on this forum (and contradicts on a regular basis.) I suspect by responding to her problems people may be doing more harm than good. After reading through several of her threads, most have been deleted, I think she needs more intensive professional help than seeing a therapist every now and then. Nothing about the OP sounds rational when sitting down and reading through her threads (particularly the deleted ones), and I don't think giving advice (no matter how well meaning) is beneficial to somebody who is so unstable. We don't know what her triggers are and how she reacts in person which could have a further negative impact on the two children that are living with her, who are no doubt already trying to deal with a difficult situation.

    I am not trying to be harsh or mean, and I sincerely hope the OP can get to point where she is physically and mentally healthy, but it sounds like a potentially dangerous situation for both the OP and her family.

    First up a do work full time I am responding to these on my phone while I work. Second yes I do all the work at home and taxi my boys. I was already thinking these posts take up time but I do not like to ignore people so I feel compelled to answer their questions or respond to their post.
    As I have previously stated my kids are not in a difficult situation, the world revolves around them. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. Things have been going really well for me so please let's not be negative.
  • mrsnazario1219
    mrsnazario1219 Posts: 173 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.

    I really think it's a gimmick for attention. Look at all the time that is being spent posting to the forum...I would be hard pressed to work full time, be the sole 'care caretaker' of the house, raise two kids, and take care of a husband who does 'nothing' to contribute, while finding the time to drink copious amounts of wine and spending the better part of the day posting to the forum.

    No doubt the OP has issues, but it's not the ones she talks about on this forum (and contradicts on a regular basis.) I suspect by responding to her problems people may be doing more harm than good. After reading through several of her threads, most have been deleted, I think she needs more intensive professional help than seeing a therapist every now and then. Nothing about the OP sounds rational when sitting down and reading through her threads (particularly the deleted ones), and I don't think giving advice (no matter how well meaning) is beneficial to somebody who is so unstable. We don't know what her triggers are and how she reacts in person which could have a further negative impact on the two children that are living with her, who are no doubt already trying to deal with a difficult situation.

    I am not trying to be harsh or mean, and I sincerely hope the OP can get to point where she is physically and mentally healthy, but it sounds like a potentially dangerous situation for both the OP and her family.

    Absolutely agree
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    See so the funny thing is right now I am happy? Happy with myself. Maybe not happy with others actions, but right now happy with me is good. Don't get me wrong there will be a discussion when I feel the time is right for me. Not sure yet when it will be perhaps this weekend. I'm not sure it is going to end well and would prefer my children not be around.
    So here's to being happy.

    I recommend the goal of the discussion be just enough to convince him to come to couples therapy and you not try to work everything out with him until he has learned better communication skills.

    I don't really want him there

    If you keep your therapist for you and get another therapist for couples therapy, your husband won't feel like you and your therapist are conspiring against him.

    I think couples therapy should be for short term goals such as improving communication, creating a safe space for letting him know what is going on with you, and sorting out responsibilities so everyone is carrying their weight.

    Your therapist can be for everything else.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    I've read all of OP's previous threads and have never commented because I didn't want to "feed the monster". I thought this one was innocent enough till now. Can't believe we've gone down this rabbit hole again. It's like Groundhog Day.

    Exactly.

    I really think it's a gimmick for attention. Look at all the time that is being spent posting to the forum...I would be hard pressed to work full time, be the sole 'care caretaker' of the house, raise two kids, and take care of a husband who does 'nothing' to contribute, while finding the time to drink copious amounts of wine and spending the better part of the day posting to the forum.

    No doubt the OP has issues, but it's not the ones she talks about on this forum (and contradicts on a regular basis.) I suspect by responding to her problems people may be doing more harm than good. After reading through several of her threads, most have been deleted, I think she needs more intensive professional help than seeing a therapist every now and then. Nothing about the OP sounds rational when sitting down and reading through her threads (particularly the deleted ones), and I don't think giving advice (no matter how well meaning) is beneficial to somebody who is so unstable. We don't know what her triggers are and how she reacts in person which could have a further negative impact on the two children that are living with her, who are no doubt already trying to deal with a difficult situation.

    I am not trying to be harsh or mean, and I sincerely hope the OP can get to point where she is physically and mentally healthy, but it sounds like a potentially dangerous situation for both the OP and her family.

    First up a do work full time I am responding to these on my phone while I work. Second yes I do all the work at home and taxi my boys. I was already thinking these posts take up time but I do not like to ignore people so I feel compelled to answer their questions or respond to their post.
    As I have previously stated my kids are not in a difficult situation, the world revolves around them. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. Things have been going really well for me so please let's not be negative.

    STOP creating new threads then!