The Silent Treatment: Does it work?

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  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Another thought...

    The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference.

    Indifference won't win you a lot of points with me.
  • nope31
    nope31 Posts: 174
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    I get quiet if Im so angry Im gonna blow my top. Its an emotion Im not used to experiencing, so I sort of shut down mentally.

    I do work with this chick that gets her ego checked a lot, she gives out the silent treatment, Its a maturity thing.
    Ppl who give the Silent treatment are not in tune with their emotions and don't otherwise know how to express themselves.
    They think it gives them power, but being on the outside looking at someone acting like that, it sorta seems pathetic to me.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    It doesn't work on me...which enrages my wife. I can go the distance...

    I'm with you. I'll have conversations "with" her where I'll have both sides of the conversation out loud. Or do things like "Honey, I'm, going over to the mall to pick up that new surround receiver I was looking, ok? silence implies consent .. ok, later!"

    And last .. if she ever brings up the subject for which I was getting the silent treatment, I'll remind her .. "honey, we don't talk about that, remember?"
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
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    Nope it doesn't work.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
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    Don't know that I have ever given the silent treatment.

    My hubby likes to push buttons so when he goes too far, I usually have to walk away to gather my thoughts before I say something I regret or start crying (it's a defense mechanism.... haha) I get weepy pretty easily sometimes.

    Some might take it as the silent treatment, but it's really just me trying to calm down and be rational and normal without crazy emotions getting in the way. haha

    I am too talkative to be silent for a long period of time though.... haha So I think it would be pretty hard for me to give silent treatment. ACTUALLY!! I tried to once! haha I tried and I buckled in like 5 minutes because something happened or whatever, and I had to share. :laugh:

    Yeah..... I am not one to hold grudges either.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    It doesn't work with me....I'll just find someone else to talk too.

    Exactly ;) Too frustrating trying to deal with people who use it a weapon. I let them "win" that game. My happiness is more important to me.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
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    or you can just communicate and understand you won't always get your way. But hey, that is just me.
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
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    I think the silent treatment is essentially manipulative and passive aggressive. If it works, it means that you have just raised the anxiety level in another person to such a degree that they submit, whether or not its in their or the relationships best interest. Why would I want to do that to someone I love? I think its an aggressive act where the essential motivation is to "win" and have the other person "lose". If that's the dynamic in the relationship, then count me out.

    If I lose my cool and get angry, I will be quiet until I can figure out what to say, then I try to speak directly, clearly, and compassionately until we are both happy again. I can't imagine just trying to hurt another person until I get my way....where is the joy in that? When my husband understands where I am coming from, values me and my feelings - even if we disagree - then its all good from there.

    Leave the dominance/submission stuff for the bedroom.

    /thread
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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  • bonitacash08
    bonitacash08 Posts: 378 Member
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    ....

    ENOUGH ALREADY I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

    I'll do whatever you want:cry:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    ENOUGH ALREADY I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

    I'll do whatever you want:cry:

    Wow. I like that silent treatment. :D
  • bonitacash08
    bonitacash08 Posts: 378 Member
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    ENOUGH ALREADY I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

    I'll do whatever you want:cry:

    Wow. I like that silent treatment. :D

    See everyone's getting all upset and stuff.. I'm a nice lady lol
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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  • XxYeaIrocxX
    XxYeaIrocxX Posts: 224 Member
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    Doesnt work for me.

    My husband acts like nothings wrong when Im quiet and will go on about his day. And I'd never use it on my daughter because talking works with her. He is as non observant as they come and if i dont lay out the details and explain to him everything, he'll think everythings just peachy lol.

    If talking decides not to work one day for my daughter I ever so gently lean close to her ear and calmly say "You have 5 minutes to redirect your attitude or there will be consequences" and she about craps herself every time and straightens her little butt right up.

    No. Truth be told, sometimes the silent treatment is the nicest thing you can do to us. He's being appreciative, not oblivious.


    Considering I know my husband like the back of my hand, I assure you that he is just oblivious.
    Never said I yelled at him, talked down to him or anything of that matter, I just have to explain everything otherwise is doesn't click in (my husband isn't an idiot, just doesn't do well when realizing something is upsetting me so rather than not talking to him, I TELL him what's wrong)

    so again, silent treatment is a no no. I'd rather communicate to solve a problem.

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