How to handle a spouse who doesn't want you to lose the weight?
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You do you and let him do him! Seriously! Make the changes for yourself and avoid the temptations he brings around. It is hard but, can be done. My DH is the same way but, I don't let it stop me.0
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I got over this problem by assuring my sweetie that this was my journey and it was about my health (fibromyalgia and prediabetes ). I made it easy on him by leaving him with his treats, buying my own, and making small changes to the family menu with low fat, low calorie tweaks. I also bought low calorie cookbooks of family favorites, so no one felt they were missing out. We take walks together and I work out while he's still sleeping so I don't cut into us time. Just assure him you're not trying to change him, but just making yourself better for him. He'll be glad you did, and maybe he'll follow suit.0
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thorsmom01 wrote: »Thank you !! I didn't sleep last night with the one I downloaded so will try this one !
Is the hubby feeling rested? It doesn't seem likely with all his nocturnal activity (and not the fun kind). If he's feeling like he wants some quality sleep, check into your insurance and see if it covers a sleep clinic and ask your PCP about a referral. Could help you both!
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I really didn't want my DW competing in ballroom dancing (which helped her lose 35lbs because of long practicing) mostly because of cost (up to $1500 for a weekend competition because of hair, make up, and entry fees). We can afford it.
You know what she told me? "Honey I'm going to practice and Honey, I'm competing this weekend". What am I going to say?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I really didn't want my DW competing in ballroom dancing (which helped her lose 35lbs because of long practicing) mostly because of cost (up to $1500 for a weekend competition because of hair, make up, and entry fees). We can afford it.
You know what she told me? "Honey I'm going to practice and Honey, I'm competing this weekend". What am I going to say?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I don't know what a DW is, but congratulations to her! That's awesome.0 -
Darling wife.lithezebra wrote: »I really didn't want my DW competing in ballroom dancing (which helped her lose 35lbs because of long practicing) mostly because of cost (up to $1500 for a weekend competition because of hair, make up, and entry fees). We can afford it.
You know what she told me? "Honey I'm going to practice and Honey, I'm competing this weekend". What am I going to say?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I don't know what a DW is, but congratulations to her! That's awesome.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Darling wife.lithezebra wrote: »I really didn't want my DW competing in ballroom dancing (which helped her lose 35lbs because of long practicing) mostly because of cost (up to $1500 for a weekend competition because of hair, make up, and entry fees). We can afford it.
You know what she told me? "Honey I'm going to practice and Honey, I'm competing this weekend". What am I going to say?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I don't know what a DW is, but congratulations to her! That's awesome.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Did she win?0 -
She's done a few now. Thing is she may be the only one in her category (amateur) so she gets first by default. However her last "big" competition, she took 4th out of 7. Personally I hate the way they judge these things because each judge basically places you in a position from a 15 second look at your routine. And depending at what time they look, it may not be your best or interesting sequence. She placed 1st with 2 judges, 7 with 2 judges, and 2nd and 4th with a couple of other judges. Isn't that a huge disparity? Anyway, it's what she likes to do, so I'll go along.
Darling wife.lithezebra wrote: »I really didn't want my DW competing in ballroom dancing (which helped her lose 35lbs because of long practicing) mostly because of cost (up to $1500 for a weekend competition because of hair, make up, and entry fees). We can afford it.
You know what she told me? "Honey I'm going to practice and Honey, I'm competing this weekend". What am I going to say?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I don't know what a DW is, but congratulations to her! That's awesome.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Did she win?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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lithezebra wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »lithezebra wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »Yes, she is nagging. And laying a guilt trip on him: "Remember our wedding/the children", etc.
Emotionally manipulating him won't work.
I disagree. Sticking to your guns, and reminding your spouse that you care about him when you nag him for his own good is a heck of a lot better than getting angry. There is no guarantee that you'll be able to coax your husband into better habits, so take care of yourself, even if he doesn't change. But keep on showing your love and concern.
Who said anything about getting angry at him?
He's not a child. She shouldn't be "nagging" or "coaxing" him.
As was said by more than a couple of people here, she should just lead by example. Hopefully he'll see the positive impact of the changes she's making in her own life, and then will jump on board voluntarily, without being emotionally blackmailed or treated like a child.
Thank God you're here to tell people how everything should be in their relationships!
Were you typing this while looking in the mirror? OP--give him a copy of this thread. Good luck.
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_Terrapin_ wrote: »lithezebra wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »lithezebra wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »Yes, she is nagging. And laying a guilt trip on him: "Remember our wedding/the children", etc.
Emotionally manipulating him won't work.
I disagree. Sticking to your guns, and reminding your spouse that you care about him when you nag him for his own good is a heck of a lot better than getting angry. There is no guarantee that you'll be able to coax your husband into better habits, so take care of yourself, even if he doesn't change. But keep on showing your love and concern.
Who said anything about getting angry at him?
He's not a child. She shouldn't be "nagging" or "coaxing" him.
As was said by more than a couple of people here, she should just lead by example. Hopefully he'll see the positive impact of the changes she's making in her own life, and then will jump on board voluntarily, without being emotionally blackmailed or treated like a child.
Thank God you're here to tell people how everything should be in their relationships!
Were you typing this while looking in the mirror? OP--give him a copy of this thread. Good luck.
Unless he's the type who doesn't like his business put on blast on the interwebs, then maybe not...
...or if your telling of the story isn't entirely accurate from his point of view as well. Actually, scratch that. Get him an MFP account and invite him to participate in the discussion.
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She's done a few now. Thing is she may be the only one in her category (amateur) so she gets first by default. However her last "big" competition, she took 4th out of 7. Personally I hate the way they judge these things because each judge basically places you in a position from a 15 second look at your routine. And depending at what time they look, it may not be your best or interesting sequence. She placed 1st with 2 judges, 7 with 2 judges, and 2nd and 4th with a couple of other judges. Isn't that a huge disparity? Anyway, it's what she likes to do, so I'll go along.
Darling wife.lithezebra wrote: »I really didn't want my DW competing in ballroom dancing (which helped her lose 35lbs because of long practicing) mostly because of cost (up to $1500 for a weekend competition because of hair, make up, and entry fees). We can afford it.
You know what she told me? "Honey I'm going to practice and Honey, I'm competing this weekend". What am I going to say?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I don't know what a DW is, but congratulations to her! That's awesome.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Did she win?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
That judging is pretty much across the board! Bet the first by default makes up for it a bit, though. Heheh
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I really didn't want my DW competing in ballroom dancing (which helped her lose 35lbs because of long practicing) mostly because of cost (up to $1500 for a weekend competition because of hair, make up, and entry fees). We can afford it.
You know what she told me? "Honey I'm going to practice and Honey, I'm competing this weekend". What am I going to say?
I think you say yes ma'am and write the check.
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »So, OP, how were days two and three of your new journey?
I am doing fine thanks! I just told the fiance to be him and I'll be me. I have been going to the gym. I forgot how much I love weights and running.0 -
_Terrapin_ wrote: »lithezebra wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »lithezebra wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »Yes, she is nagging. And laying a guilt trip on him: "Remember our wedding/the children", etc.
Emotionally manipulating him won't work.
I disagree. Sticking to your guns, and reminding your spouse that you care about him when you nag him for his own good is a heck of a lot better than getting angry. There is no guarantee that you'll be able to coax your husband into better habits, so take care of yourself, even if he doesn't change. But keep on showing your love and concern.
Who said anything about getting angry at him?
He's not a child. She shouldn't be "nagging" or "coaxing" him.
As was said by more than a couple of people here, she should just lead by example. Hopefully he'll see the positive impact of the changes she's making in her own life, and then will jump on board voluntarily, without being emotionally blackmailed or treated like a child.
Thank God you're here to tell people how everything should be in their relationships!
Were you typing this while looking in the mirror? OP--give him a copy of this thread. Good luck.
No, I haven't told anyone what to do in this thread, including not discounting the possibility that the OP's husband actually responds well to an emotional appeal, rather than to be left to his own devices.0
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