Trying to be Supportive
Replies
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Its cool that you wanted to support your son. But publically condemning the community and tools that he is using and succeeding with ,isn't very supportive.
It is okay that you decided that this way of life isn't for you. If you have something that works well for you why not just do that? Everyone has to find what works best for them. CICO has science behind it. It makes sense. At first glance it might seem overwhelming but once you get going it is actually pretty simple.
Let me ask you. Have you actually give it a try or did you just read some posts and immediately decide it is no good?
Anyway I kind of look at talking about weight loss plans a bit like talking politics and religion. It isn't something you want to discuss too passionately unless you are okay with having some pretty strong disagreements or are willing to accept that other points of view are just as valid as yours.0 -
simplyGigi wrote: »middlehaitch wrote: »Could you explain by what you mean by over the top please?
And if CICO isn't what you are doing to lose weight while counting calories, what are you doing?
There is often brevity, conciseness, and people can get a little emphatic, but really most people are trying to get across the point that you can diet in whichever safe way you wish, but you have to eat less than you expend to lose weight. CICO.
Cheers, h.
Guessing you mean empathetic, of which i do not see much empathy around here. It is CICO, macros, food scale and nothing else. If your opinion is different it becomes some long, drawn out thread with a bunch of nonsense and that to me is negative. So, this (sadly) may not be the place for me.
I've been around here long enough to recognize which posters are just being obnoxious and which are trying to help. Overwhelmingly, posters want to help, even if they may come across as being short. Although I would agree that, on occasion, there are some who like to give answers that I wouldn't consider appropriate and couch it as "tough love," "telling it like it is," "I don't believe in sugar-coating," etc., I truly believe those are very few and far between.
At the end of the day, weight loss is about eating fewer calories than you burn, so it is CICO. Most people don't really care about how you get there unless it's evident a person may be doing it in a way that can be harmful. A lot of posters also want newbies to understand that they don't have to waste money on things that are unnecessary for weight loss and that a person doesn't have to be miserable while losing (whether that be eating at a ridiculous deficit or beating themselves up for eating things they think they shouldn't, or whatever). As for the food scale, there are tons of posts about people not losing, and inaccurate food logging is most often the culprit. Therefore, a food scale is recommended as a way to more accurately determine CI. No one says you MUST use one, but that's usually the best fix for inaccurate logging, and hence not losing.
If you stick around long enough, you'll probably see this as well. Whatever you're doing to lose weight, your CO are more than your CI. If you're able to do that without having to be accurate with your food logging, good for you. There are a whole hell of a lot of us who can't do that. Most people here really don't want others to struggle as they may have.
@simplyGigi I was taken aback at the tone of the forums when I first started posting. It felt more like a political discussion board than a support forum. Eventually, I came to believe the same as the poster I quoted - the vast majority are here to be supportive, some more effectively than others.
Also, while I personally agree with you that empathy is better than militancy, some posters have said they do respond better to tough love. So I will continue to be empathetic, with the understanding that there are many paths up the mountain.0 -
I guess I'm lost. Your son seems to be doing pretty well by himself losing weight and enjoying the community, but you teamed up with him to support him, even though you yourself would like to lose some weight? Or just for fun? So now you're not having the same fun he is and this is an announcement sharing why? I'm just not very clear what you hoped to get out of making your post.
It's like you're reading my mind! haha.
@simplyGigi - I'm not really sure what you're looking for, but my suggestion is to stay off the forums. Maybe search some of the groups and join the ones that speak to you. They tend to be more friendly. Yes, there are "different" ways to lose weight, but at the end of the day, the one thing they all have in common is they are burning more calories than taking in. For some people, the act of counting calories is very stressful. And that's ok and there are "alternatives" where you don't count calories BUT, if you're not losing on those alternatives, it's because you're taking in more calories than you burn. That really is the bottom line. But if you can lose weight doing whatever you are doing and not count calories and feel good about that, then good for you. But just know that you are losing weight because you are burning more than you're eating.
Yes, for people who find the tone of open discussion boards unpalatable, the groups are the way to go.0 -
simplyGigi wrote: »My son has become a MFP addict. In order to support him in his efforts I have joined him in his efforts. I have gained some weight the past couple of years due to lack of working out and picked up some bad eating habits. I know what i need to do change and am putting those changes in place with good success.
My issue is his militant attitude about weight loss. I have had to lose weight in the past..after child birth etc. I have been successful in my efforts and have kept it off for many years.
Since teaming up with my son I have been browsing these threads and find it alarming that he has the same attitude as many people who post on this board. There is only CICO. That is fine if that works for you but that mentality does not work for me. I have lost six pounds since Christmas and am feeling awesome.
I thought coming on this site would increase my motivation but between the attitudes newbies get on this site and my sons preaching about macros etc. ... Not very motivating,
Do you need to count calories? If you can intuitevely figure out what you need to restrict, of course there is no need to do it. You still will be eating less calories, but not everyone needs to know how many and count everything. A calorie counting application is for when you cannot be sure about what needs to change. Trying an approach like this when you do not need it sounds very tiresome, so just stop. If this is how your son wants to go about it, good for him, but to support him you do not need to follow the same approach. If this is what he expects, he needs to understand that losing weight and counting calories is most certainly not a family activity!0 -
@simplygigi is probably a troll account.0
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#NotMyMom0
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#NotMySon0
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I think it's Lemon.
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Nah. Niners mom would be nothing but proud for sure.0
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arditarose wrote: »Nah. Niners mom would be nothing but proud for sure.
Agreed.0 -
Hey lemons mom! Yes we are sure he is handful with all his science and cico stuff but guess what, its true. So maybe the forums aren't the place for you if you are bothered by cico talk.
@psulemon your mom is not happy !0 -
simplyGigi wrote: »My apologies, theCICO is the bottom line. There are many different ways to go about it, but unless you take in less than you're expending, you don't lose weight. Low-fat, low-carb, IIFYM, keto, Paleo, vegan/vegetarian, intermittent fasting....all different ways to do it. But no matter what, calories are still king. That's not opinion, that's fact.
The only time I see newbies get "attitude" is when they start spouting woo about detoxes/cleanses, VLCDs, MLM products, diet pills or other unsafe/fad diet methods....and even then it's not so much "attitude" as it is people correcting the misinformation with evidence-based facts. Whether the OP chooses to believe it and benefit from the education or flounce off in a huff, hopefully the information will benefit somebody else who reads the thread further down the line.
My apologies, the newbies are not the ones with the attitude. I find the replies to be over the top from self proclaimed experts. Just my opinion.
An account opened January 5th speaking about newbies. #not my neighbor
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_Terrapin_ wrote: »simplyGigi wrote: »My apologies, theCICO is the bottom line. There are many different ways to go about it, but unless you take in less than you're expending, you don't lose weight. Low-fat, low-carb, IIFYM, keto, Paleo, vegan/vegetarian, intermittent fasting....all different ways to do it. But no matter what, calories are still king. That's not opinion, that's fact.
The only time I see newbies get "attitude" is when they start spouting woo about detoxes/cleanses, VLCDs, MLM products, diet pills or other unsafe/fad diet methods....and even then it's not so much "attitude" as it is people correcting the misinformation with evidence-based facts. Whether the OP chooses to believe it and benefit from the education or flounce off in a huff, hopefully the information will benefit somebody else who reads the thread further down the line.
My apologies, the newbies are not the ones with the attitude. I find the replies to be over the top from self proclaimed experts. Just my opinion.
An account opened January 5th speaking about newbies. #not my neighbor
#meanpeopletalkingcicoallthetime0 -
No, you're not. Try again.0
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thorsmom01 wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »simplyGigi wrote: »My apologies, theCICO is the bottom line. There are many different ways to go about it, but unless you take in less than you're expending, you don't lose weight. Low-fat, low-carb, IIFYM, keto, Paleo, vegan/vegetarian, intermittent fasting....all different ways to do it. But no matter what, calories are still king. That's not opinion, that's fact.
The only time I see newbies get "attitude" is when they start spouting woo about detoxes/cleanses, VLCDs, MLM products, diet pills or other unsafe/fad diet methods....and even then it's not so much "attitude" as it is people correcting the misinformation with evidence-based facts. Whether the OP chooses to believe it and benefit from the education or flounce off in a huff, hopefully the information will benefit somebody else who reads the thread further down the line.
My apologies, the newbies are not the ones with the attitude. I find the replies to be over the top from self proclaimed experts. Just my opinion.
An account opened January 5th speaking about newbies. #not my neighbor
#meanpeopletalkingcicoallthetime
Is this all one hash tag? Wait . . . . .I see it. It is son simple. CICO.....weigh food, get scale, weigh in grams. Be patient. At 6 weeks no weight loss re-evaluate. Exercise. Find what you love. Holy Sweet Mother of Pearl. IT IS SO SIMPLE!!!!! !!! !!!! ! ! ! !! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!
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_Terrapin_ wrote: »thorsmom01 wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »simplyGigi wrote: »My apologies, theCICO is the bottom line. There are many different ways to go about it, but unless you take in less than you're expending, you don't lose weight. Low-fat, low-carb, IIFYM, keto, Paleo, vegan/vegetarian, intermittent fasting....all different ways to do it. But no matter what, calories are still king. That's not opinion, that's fact.
The only time I see newbies get "attitude" is when they start spouting woo about detoxes/cleanses, VLCDs, MLM products, diet pills or other unsafe/fad diet methods....and even then it's not so much "attitude" as it is people correcting the misinformation with evidence-based facts. Whether the OP chooses to believe it and benefit from the education or flounce off in a huff, hopefully the information will benefit somebody else who reads the thread further down the line.
My apologies, the newbies are not the ones with the attitude. I find the replies to be over the top from self proclaimed experts. Just my opinion.
An account opened January 5th speaking about newbies. #not my neighbor
#meanpeopletalkingcicoallthetime
Is this all one hash tag? Wait . . . . .I see it. It is son simple. CICO.....weigh food, get scale, weigh in grams. Be patient. At 6 weeks no weight loss re-evaluate. Exercise. Find what you love. Holy Sweet Mother of Pearl. IT IS SO SIMPLE!!!!! !!! !!!! ! ! ! !! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!
Go home @_Terrapin_ , you're drunk
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thorsmom01 wrote: »Hey lemons mom! Yes we are sure he is handful with all his science and cico stuff but guess what, its true. So maybe the forums aren't the place for you if you are bothered by cico talk.
@psulemon your mom is not happy !
<-- works very hard not to push the ban button for tagging me. 0 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »Can we run a book on whose mom this is?
maybe @ndj1979
i dont know why, thats just the name that keeps popping in my head. though, i think hes my age and it would be disturbing if his mom was still that involved in his life at this point in time (but hey most people arent like me who pretends their mother doesnt exist LOL)
It's gotta be someone relatively young... she's 47.
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DAMMIT MOTHER!!!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST ON THE FORUMS!!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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_Terrapin_ wrote: »thorsmom01 wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »simplyGigi wrote: »My apologies, theCICO is the bottom line. There are many different ways to go about it, but unless you take in less than you're expending, you don't lose weight. Low-fat, low-carb, IIFYM, keto, Paleo, vegan/vegetarian, intermittent fasting....all different ways to do it. But no matter what, calories are still king. That's not opinion, that's fact.
The only time I see newbies get "attitude" is when they start spouting woo about detoxes/cleanses, VLCDs, MLM products, diet pills or other unsafe/fad diet methods....and even then it's not so much "attitude" as it is people correcting the misinformation with evidence-based facts. Whether the OP chooses to believe it and benefit from the education or flounce off in a huff, hopefully the information will benefit somebody else who reads the thread further down the line.
My apologies, the newbies are not the ones with the attitude. I find the replies to be over the top from self proclaimed experts. Just my opinion.
An account opened January 5th speaking about newbies. #not my neighbor
#meanpeopletalkingcicoallthetime
Is this all one hash tag? Wait . . . . .I see it. It is son simple. CICO.....weigh food, get scale, weigh in grams. Be patient. At 6 weeks no weight loss re-evaluate. Exercise. Find what you love. Holy Sweet Mother of Pearl. IT IS SO SIMPLE!!!!! !!! !!!! ! ! ! !! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!
Go home @_Terrapin_ , you're drunk
Mean *kitten* people. BTW, Green Bay is losing by 15 when they play.....suck eggs.
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_Terrapin_ wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »thorsmom01 wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »simplyGigi wrote: »My apologies, theCICO is the bottom line. There are many different ways to go about it, but unless you take in less than you're expending, you don't lose weight. Low-fat, low-carb, IIFYM, keto, Paleo, vegan/vegetarian, intermittent fasting....all different ways to do it. But no matter what, calories are still king. That's not opinion, that's fact.
The only time I see newbies get "attitude" is when they start spouting woo about detoxes/cleanses, VLCDs, MLM products, diet pills or other unsafe/fad diet methods....and even then it's not so much "attitude" as it is people correcting the misinformation with evidence-based facts. Whether the OP chooses to believe it and benefit from the education or flounce off in a huff, hopefully the information will benefit somebody else who reads the thread further down the line.
My apologies, the newbies are not the ones with the attitude. I find the replies to be over the top from self proclaimed experts. Just my opinion.
An account opened January 5th speaking about newbies. #not my neighbor
#meanpeopletalkingcicoallthetime
Is this all one hash tag? Wait . . . . .I see it. It is son simple. CICO.....weigh food, get scale, weigh in grams. Be patient. At 6 weeks no weight loss re-evaluate. Exercise. Find what you love. Holy Sweet Mother of Pearl. IT IS SO SIMPLE!!!!! !!! !!!! ! ! ! !! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!
Go home @_Terrapin_ , you're drunk
Mean *kitten* people. BTW, Green Bay is losing by 15 when they play.....suck eggs.
You think it'll be that close?0 -
Um.
CICO is science. Proven. Non-woo.
CICO works, just check out the success stories thread. Seriously. Anyone who tries to lose weight the fad way tends to come back in a few months "oh no! I've gained the weight I've lost on the unbearable cabbage soup diet. Whatever shall I do now!"
CICO is consuming less calories this you burn. Why wouldn't this work? It applies to all humans, even the special snowflake type. Science. Proven. Seewhatididthere?
The only way CICO wouldn't work for someone is if they were estimating their food intake and calorie burns. Weigh all solids and stick to your calories, then come back in a month. I didn't think CICO wasn't the answer, but I was stuck in the 'diet zone' and Internet woo advice space. Then, I tired CICO.. Where have you been all my life? This is much easier than those stupid plans and rules. Weigh food and could calories....win! 77lbs down doing CICO. Who can argue with that?0 -
@_Terrapin_ and @tincanonastring - you are the definition of mean people. Thems fightin' words.0
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Oh dear we have devolved just the way @simplygigi doesn't like.
Arguing the CICO cause, and resorting to humorous quips by page 3.
No wonder she has abandoned her own post. Probably the forums too.
Pity she didn't put herself in her avitar then we could look through the thousands of new-ish male subscribers for familial resemblance.
Cheers, h.0 -
middlehaitch wrote: »Oh dear we have devolved just the way @simplygigi doesn't like.
Arguing the CICO cause, and resorting to humorous quips by page 3.
No wonder she has abandoned her own post. Probably the forums too.
Pity she didn't put herself in her avitar then we could look through the thousands of new-ish male subscribers for familial resemblance.
Cheers, h.
I'm so sorry.
But,but, they attacked my team!!! 0 -
thorsmom01 wrote: »Hey lemons mom! Yes we are sure he is handful with all his science and cico stuff but guess what, its true. So maybe the forums aren't the place for you if you are bothered by cico talk.
@psulemon your mom is not happy !
<-- works very hard not to push the ban button for tagging me.
Lmao !0 -
tincanonastring wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »thorsmom01 wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »simplyGigi wrote: »My apologies, theCICO is the bottom line. There are many different ways to go about it, but unless you take in less than you're expending, you don't lose weight. Low-fat, low-carb, IIFYM, keto, Paleo, vegan/vegetarian, intermittent fasting....all different ways to do it. But no matter what, calories are still king. That's not opinion, that's fact.
The only time I see newbies get "attitude" is when they start spouting woo about detoxes/cleanses, VLCDs, MLM products, diet pills or other unsafe/fad diet methods....and even then it's not so much "attitude" as it is people correcting the misinformation with evidence-based facts. Whether the OP chooses to believe it and benefit from the education or flounce off in a huff, hopefully the information will benefit somebody else who reads the thread further down the line.
My apologies, the newbies are not the ones with the attitude. I find the replies to be over the top from self proclaimed experts. Just my opinion.
An account opened January 5th speaking about newbies. #not my neighbor
#meanpeopletalkingcicoallthetime
Is this all one hash tag? Wait . . . . .I see it. It is son simple. CICO.....weigh food, get scale, weigh in grams. Be patient. At 6 weeks no weight loss re-evaluate. Exercise. Find what you love. Holy Sweet Mother of Pearl. IT IS SO SIMPLE!!!!! !!! !!!! ! ! ! !! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!
Go home @_Terrapin_ , you're drunk
Mean *kitten* people. BTW, Green Bay is losing by 15 when they play.....suck eggs.
You think it'll be that close?
I do......but if the Cards start rolling it could ugly. Then, it will be an utter(cow pun for all you Wisconsin folk) blowout.
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Just in case OP isn't gone...
I think what people often mean when they say CICO doesn't work for them is that counting calories, food scales, and measuring doesn't work for their lifestyle or personality.
Every diet works the same way, making you consume fewer calories than you burn. Because that is the *only* any to lose weight, barring surgery or an amputation. But, there are a hundred million ways to tweak the equation and one way is to track your calories carefully to ensure you're running on a deficit - MFP. Other ways are to reduce calories by limiting food categories (low carb, low fat, vegetarian, vegan, paleo, and on and on), increase the number of calories you burn (more exercise, different exercise, ice baths, cold showers, standing instead of sitting, and whatever else). All with varying success depending on an varying factors. The reason strict counting and weighing and tracking is preferred, around here and elsewhere, is because it eliminates a lot of those factors that affect success. But it doesn't eliminate all of them.
That doesn't mean that CICO doesn't work for you or your body, it only means something is off with the tracking. It might be that food isn't being measured or weighed accurately, or something is being missed. It could also mean you're not burning as many calories as MFP estimates. We all like to think we are special snowflakes, but the truth is that bodies work reliably all the same.
As for why comments seem rude or militant, remember you're talking to people all over the world and reading their comments without any tone or facial expressions or body language attached to it. Speech that seems kind and non-confrontational where you're from is disingenuous in another place. What seems rude to you, may be intended to be blunt and no nonsense. What seems mean might've been intended as a lighthearted joke, not mean spirited. Read comments assuming the person behind it is trying to be helpful, and it will probably change the 'voice' you hear. While you might find other online communities more fitting of your personality, you won't find any forum that doesn't have miscommunications because it's all text based.0
This discussion has been closed.
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