Husband keeping junk in house
bwaits07
Posts: 150 Member
I am on day 12 of my healthy eating streak. No sodas, no fast food, no fried foods. Only eating veggies, fruit, and chicken while only drinking water. It's so hard when my husband brings home these junk foods and makes me feel like caving into eating these foods he brings home. I try encouraging him to eat healthy with me but he just won't budge. So far I have been doing good about avoiding and ignoring this but some days are just harder than others. It's hard when your the only one in the house trying to eat right.
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You know, I have tried many times to lose weight, but it's hard when your hubby is not doing it with you. He will sometimes go with me on some things, but he just keeps eating and it makes me hungry. ugh!
You have probably done this already, so forgive me if I overstep my bounds, but have you talked to him about it? Does he need to lose some weight as well?
I have talked repeatedly to my hubby about this, but last night before we fell asleep I hugged him and asked him to help me. I told him I "needed" his help. Yes, my hubby needs to lose weight as well, but he hates when this topic comes up, so it dawned on me that I have never asked him "why?"...........why does he hate this topic so much? We were both in good shape when we got married, but now we could both stand to lose 50 pounds. So I asked him why he hates the topic so much or why he doesn't want to lose weight? He gave me his answers.
Since he is the love of my life, I told him that I wanted him with me for another 50 years and that it would break my heart if he had a heart attack or something. I told him that I wanted to get healthy for me and for him. People always say "you have to do it for yourself" and I agree with that, but it helps to consider your spouse as well since they are the other 1/2 of your life.
I expressed my love and how I need his help and that I knew that we could do it together, that we can do anything together because we have already over the years and we've been successful, so we could do this as well. I reminded him that it took us a few years to get in this shape, so it might take us awhile to get back into better shape, but that we could help each other and that together we could do ANYTHING!
After all those past conversations I've had with him, this one was better. I think my asking him "why?" helped me understand and allowed him to be heard.............rather than always hearing me talk about how we need to lose weight.
Anyway, I don't know if that helps you or not, but it helped me. Maybe it would help you? I hope so.
Have a great day and hang in there!
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Since you are only 12 days in the two of you need to figure out how to meet in the middle and make this work long term for the both of you. Part of that might be him not bringing in certain things. Part of that might be you finding lower calorie alternatives that you can fit into your calories. You need to sit down and work out how each of you are going to compromise.0
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@LolaPlant That's pretty much what I did too! One day, I had very open (and emotional) conversation with my husband why I wanted to be healthy together, and the reasons were just like yours: be healthy together so that we can enjoy our lives together when we are much older and don't let the other suffer through a sudden/chronic loss due to a health problem. Fortunately (or not so fortunately), he was diagnosed with a metabolic syndrome (very close to pre-diebetic) not that long after the conversation, and that was the last straw for him.
Now, instead of nagging him to drop that sugary snack, I just hug him and stare his eyes with a puppy face (with a pouty lips). Lol. It works most of the time. Haha.0 -
I would look at it as practicing your self restraint, if you guys have talked and he doesn't want to do it, then he doesn't have to and it wouldn't be fair to expect him to, it sucks but it's his choice, just like being healthy is your choice. You can only lead by example. Now in my home I do the grocery shopping so I have been able to make things a little healthier but he still eats what he wants for the most part. I switched to whole grain bread for example, he fussed a bit at first but when he wanted that sandwich he used the bread and now has acquired a taste for it. I didn't push him though. The other thing you could try is getting him food he likes that you don't like, assuming there are foods you don't like......that's hard for me
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Firstly, it's your decision to eat a certain way and he is not obligated to jump on that bandwagon. Only eating fruit, veggies, and chicken sounds pretty boring...maybe it will be the perfect answer for you, but to me it sounds like a strict plan that will be way too easy to "break" and then feel that you're off the so-called healthy streak. For most people, it's not going to be that black & white. Make sure you do something that you can keep doing for the long term.
With that said, though...if there are certain items you just can't leave alone, maybe your husband could be persuaded to at least not bring those into the house...eat them at work, buy only 1 serving at a time...stuff like that can really help. In the past I had a partner who loved to eat Little Debbie snack cakes and I didn't want them in the house because I would get a sweets craving and couldn't leave alone the chocolate chip cakes or Valentine ones. We compromised by him bringing home nutty bars and oatmeal crème pies because I didn't like those anyway and they were his favorites. Now, my husband can't stay out of ice cream or ice cream sandwiches so I only get those on road trips. If I had a box of 12 in the freezer I'd eat them like once or twice a week, but he would eat 3-4 at a sitting. So we don't keep them in the house.0 -
Its tough. when I lost my 40 lbs 3 years ago. I struggled with this very thing because we also have 3 kids and no way did they want to eat some of the things I was eating. I reorganized the cabinets and instead of the junk being in the pantry. I cleared a cabinet in the kitchen and that's where all the junk food went. And yes, I put the junk in a high shelf so they would have to work extra hard to get to it. :P0
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@mgodfrey0202 I'm sorry to hear that he was diagnosed with that. So since that was "the last straw for him", you mean it motivated him to make a change right? Awesome! Did he have to go on medication? I ask because I've always heard that "pre"-diabetic means you can turn it around and not become diabetic. Is that true?
And I'm glad you "puppy face" (LOL) works with him............love has a way of conquering. 0 -
@LolaPlant He's been on metformin for a while now. We are hoping that he could get off that awful med as soon as possible. He now knows his favorite Starbucks drinks are nothing but sugar and fat. I told that to him many times already, but it took a doctor's visit and medication for him to finally take the responsibility of searching nutrition info. Haha.0
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do what you want to do, and don't eat it then. I wouldn't follow your diet either as it is overly restrictive. I eat plenty healthy and have dropped 45lb, but I also just ate pizza, soda, and a cookie for lunch and I have never been healthier in my adult life. I don't eat stuff my wife wants or brings home, and sometimes I don't eat stuff I bring home myself (despite liking it). Build up your will power muscles and just don't eat it then.0
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_JustNate_ wrote: »Its tough. when I lost my 40 lbs 3 years ago. I struggled with this very thing because we also have 3 kids and no way did they want to eat some of the things I was eating. I reorganized the cabinets and instead of the junk being in the pantry. I cleared a cabinet in the kitchen and that's where all the junk food went. And yes, I put the junk in a high shelf so they would have to work extra hard to get to it. :P
My fiance and I don't live together yet. He does keep some junk here and keeps in on top of the cabinets, where I can neither see it nor reach it. We also have a chocolate drawer, which is not something I go into except after dinner, so I'm not seeing the food and thinking about it. "Out of sight, out of mind" works very well for me except for extreme trigger foods, which call me from whatever dark corners they lurk, and so I do not have them in the house.0 -
I know it's tough when one is doing something that the other isn't. But I'm gonna give a male perspective, I'll be damned if I'm told I can't have (meat, carbs, beer, donuts, fill in the blank with whatever else) because the wife is on a diet/life style change!
He won't stop ingesting because he's not on the same plan as you. And forcing him into doing it won't end well. Ask him politely, so you won't be tempted, to not eat it in front of you and hide it in the garage so you won't see it. He can still have his vice, you aren't tempted, everyone's happy0 -
My husband doesn't need to lose weight and quite happily eats what he wants the way I go around having what you call junk in the house and not eat it is by seeing it as not mine. It's not my food so I can't eat it.0
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heck i buy junk for my OH. i made the decision to eat healthier, not him. I made the decision to eat less, not him. I do not subjugate him to my new eating habits0
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Suck it up, practice self-control and discipline. It's tough at the beginning and you will stumble along the way.0
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It took my husband being diagnosed pre-diabetic and our doctor basically ordering him to see a dietitian for him to start looking at his diet issues. (He fired the dietitian- she was insane.) But that was the wake up call to me- How could I go on eating snacks, sugary foods, and other bad things when he was trying to change his habits. Now that we're doing it together, it's so much easier!
He also had this idea that if he had to 'watch what he ate' it meant he was old, failing and turning into his grandfather. He really resented it at first. He was really afraid of becoming one of those people who would go out to dinner and have to order nothing but a green salad.
(I really really hate to be the one to say this, but if your partner isn't being supportive of your desire to make healthy lifestyle changes, what other ways is your relationship unhealthy for you? Maybe it's not just eating habits that need reevaluation. )0 -
My SO is sitting here right now next to me eating strawberry Pop Tarts and it sure does smell good but I don't want to waste my calories on a Pop Tart so I'm not going to eat one.
I don't mean to be rude but your diet ain't about your husband, it's about you. You cannot control the people around you. You can only control you.
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I give in a little to see if it's worth it. Yesterday by bf came home with Swedish Fish. I ate two, logged them, and decided they weren't worth 23 calories/fish. That's what it comes down to with most "junk."0
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My BF only eats junk food. I either eat a healthier option of whatever he's having (he orders kebab, I get falafel on salad) or stick to my own foods.0
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i wouldnt want to eat your food either.
but hey- if it makes you happy. have fun.
he does not have to eat like you. nor should he have to not buy the things he wants. i doubt he is making you eat it. you can ask him to keep it out of your sight, perhaps, but othr than that you need to up the self control. youre only 12 days in.0 -
_JustNate_ wrote: »Its tough. when I lost my 40 lbs 3 years ago. I struggled with this very thing because we also have 3 kids and no way did they want to eat some of the things I was eating. I reorganized the cabinets and instead of the junk being in the pantry. I cleared a cabinet in the kitchen and that's where all the junk food went. And yes, I put the junk in a high shelf so they would have to work extra hard to get to it. :P
Same here. I decided long ago to buy the kids the snack food they request in moderate amounts so they learn how to deal with it in moderation. It amazed me that 3 preteens could share a bag of M&M's and make it last all week. At that age, I would have hidden it and it'd be gone in a day or two. Now that they are all in high school, they watch what they eat so there is a lot less tempting stuff around. The are much, much better teenagers than I ever was.
Having my own mom-treats cabinet helps. The tempting thing my DH does is ask if I want to start the weekend early, which means have wine during the week. Sometimes if I have room, I cave. Sometimes I hold out for the weekend. Maybe your husband would be willing to eat the foods most tempting to you someplace other than home, but ultimately your program is your responsibility, not anyone else's. Resisting temptation is hard at first, but you will strengthen your willpower with practice, and it will get easier in all settings, not just at home. Stick with it!0 -
Since you are only 12 days in the two of you need to figure out how to meet in the middle and make this work long term for the both of you. Part of that might be him not bringing in certain things. Part of that might be you finding lower calorie alternatives that you can fit into your calories. You need to sit down and work out how each of you are going to compromise.
This^
Find a compromise and find your (personal) priorities. I won't be eating zero "junk" food when I get to goal. So for maintenance, I need to figure out what the "price" of junk is.
I love chocolate and save room for a small portion everyday. But there are other foods that just aren't worth it (to me).0 -
I am on day 12 of my healthy eating streak. No sodas, no fast food, no fried foods. Only eating veggies, fruit, and chicken while only drinking water. It's so hard when my husband brings home these junk foods and makes me feel like caving into eating these foods he brings home. I try encouraging him to eat healthy with me but he just won't budge. So far I have been doing good about avoiding and ignoring this but some days are just harder than others. It's hard when your the only one in the house trying to eat right.
That sounds like an extremely restricted diet. Why? You can still eat normal foods. How about expanding your variety, and cutting yourself some slack so that it is more sustainable and less prone to make you binge or quit?
I would at least add in some variety like fish, pork, yogurt, cheese, and there's nothing wrong with a square of high quality dark chocolate per day. Most people find that it's not sweet enough to trigger cravings, but satisfies that urge...0 -
My husband works a very physical job, so eats very high calorie foods just to maintain his muscular build. I don't mind it in the house at all, if I want some, I make sure it fits in my calorie total for the day or work out extra to compensate, other than that it's shear willpower. You have to make a choice, stay the way you are, or change, temptation will be everywhere.0
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I can say my wife asks me not to keep "junk" in the house so I keep it at work. Maybe ask him to keep the "junk" at work. I do keep some foods I enjoy at home, most of it she cant eat because of wheat so we compromise on that. Out of sight out of mind. Tell him to keep it in the car or something to that effect.
No foods are really junk. I found it easier to eat these foods when I told myself that and fit them in my daily calories or macros. If I cant fit these foods in my goals for the day, I don't eat it. But if I really want something, I sacrifice a little to fit it in. Maybe that is salad with lots of protein and fat free dressing. Question is what happens after the streak ends.0 -
so? My boyfriend keeps junk at my house, his house, AND my mom's house. I like to bake as a hobby and he requests things FREQUENTLY. He bought me a kitchenaid stand mixer so he likes to make sure I use it at least once a week). I buy it for him and don't eat it. I bake it for him and don't eat it. I don't force (or even ask) him to eat the way I eat). When I do want "junk" food I make it fit into my calories. It's not easy but it's definitely worth learning to control what you eat.0
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My husband keeps cardboard boxes
Empty boxes ...not flattened, not filled...just boxes..like there will be a great box shortage and he will be able to go "aha"
I will swap you for one who just keeps food0 -
I make seperate meals - He gets the usual and I will have soup and a roll which is surprisingly filling, or a smaller portion of the same thing.
He doesnt have to diet because you are, but healthy eating can benefit everyone.
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okay... two things I've learned because this frustrated me too
- YOU decided to change your lifestyle. Not him. I know we all want our significant other to be healthy with us, too but you can't decide that for them. I know in a perfect world they would agree to do it with us to make it easier on ourselves but we all know we do not live in a perfect world. My best advice is to just do whatever you have to do but don't make him change his ways. Hopefully, he will see how awesome you are looking and feeling and will want to follow in your footsteps.
- You cannot be successful if you restrict you diet too much. I shouldn't say you can't but it's very very unlikely. Give in to things you crave but do it in moderation. I could not have come this far if I didn't eat anything but veggies and chicken and I don't think you expect to change your lifestyle to only eating those things the rest of your life and nothing else. I eat ice cream, fries, burgers, etc on occasion but I moderate how much of them I eat and they always fit in my calorie range. it will get rid of the craving and make it just that much easier on you. As crazy as it may seem, you will find it will make it easier to say no more times than not
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My husband keeps cardboard boxes
Empty boxes ...not flattened, not filled...just boxes..like there will be a great box shortage and he will be able to go "aha"
I will swap you for one who just keeps food
my OCD would not be okay with this. The clutter would seriously make me anxious! ....at least I have the option of eating the food!
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