Old timers, why do you still take the time to help people?

BrainyBurro
BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
in Chit-Chat
for those who have been here for longer than 3-4 months, it's easy to get burned out trying to help people. not only are the same silly questions asked over and over again (raspberry ketones, anyone?), but it's a constant struggle battling against the proponents of broscience and outright falsehoods, not to mention the legions of food shamers on here. when you finally do get through to somebody, you often don't know because they don't bother to thank you or even follow up with their results... and when you don't get through to them, look out! you have to be prepared to be called mean and rude (unless you coat your advice with sugar frosting).

so why keep trying? many of you do (as do i) because i can see it in the public forums. my question is why?

for me, i suppose it's the categorical imperative. SOMEBODY needs to. so i do my small part. i also believe that 10%-20% of my posts on here should be made in an attempt to help people, to balance the silliness/hijinx of my other threads/posts.

so that's my answer. what's yours?
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Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Paying it forward. I didn't know diddly squat when I first joined. It was posts from people who'd been there and done that that helped me. Thanks to them, and also thanks to fellow noobs, I didn't need to ask potentially embarrassing questions. I got the answers just by lurking.

    Speaking of lurking, I understand the nature of forums, and that for every person that posts, there's dozens more who just read. I post for them as much as for the person asking the question. And I realize that, no matter how many times I've seen "should I eat my exercise calories?" get asked, it's somebody's first time seeing it.

    Plus, I've worked as a vet tech for years. That's given me a lot of patience. Not working with animals... that's easy. Working with their owners. Answering the same questions over and over again. I can recite post-surgical instructions in my sleep. :laugh:
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    I want to help where I can, and pass on the benefit of my experiences, and the learnings from my mistakes. But I also don't want to waste my time, so I look for people who are open and willing to learn, or situations where very bad advice is being given that needs to be countered.

    If someone has given a great answer, I don't feel the need to keep responding, but I will second it to draw more attention to good answers that may get lost in the tidal wave of verbiage.

    It's about maximizing my impact in the free time I have, while not getting drawn into long arguements with people who are very closed-minded, defensive, or plain wacko.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    Because one of the biggest things that mfp has done for me is to provide me the knowledge that what I'm thinking and feeling is "normal". And simply seeing the huge numbers of people continually posting about successes with non-extremist methods really made the whole thing seem so much more realistic and achievable. There will always be people offering poor advice, there will always be people asking the same questions over and over again. But the more responses that support the notion of doing things in a reasonable, sustainable manner, the more the message exists. Someone browsing the forums cannot eventually get the message that reasonable, sustainable approaches are what yields long-term results.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I am burned out. Still try from time to time but I feel like what I have to say get lost in the bioscience and people get angry when they don't get the answer they want.
  • Turnaround2012
    Turnaround2012 Posts: 362 Member
    Great post by the way OP!

    I am not even close to being an "Old timer", but I have been around enough to see the same crazy threads posted every day. But, I still feel that I get way more out of this forum than I give. Every post I read gives me new insight. Because of this forum I have started:

    1. Not being afraid to eat - 1900-2000 calories per day and I am losing body fat (and weight).
    2. Really taking lifting seriously.
    3. Discovered kettlebell training, HIIT etc.
    4. Was introduced to the TDEE method by others on this forum. - ( Great tool to use: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/ )

    I would not have learned about these topics without people posting when they didn't have to post and showing uncommon patience. Lots of this information was in posts titled something like

    "Help, I have no motivation and I need to lose 45 lbs in 2 months, and SOS I am only eating negative 300 calories per day, and the UN says I am too fat, and I hate to exercise - plus I am a special snowflake - and raspberry ketones are valid - so I will ignore everything you say and slander you on the forums for being mean!".

    It gets down to what somebody else just posted above:

    Paying it forward

    I hope someday when I have been doing this for a while I will be able to post something or direct someone to a link that really helps. Then by using that information, and inputs from many others, they will be able to help themselves to become fitter and healthier.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    I am extremely thankful for all of the old timers who respond to questions. I have learned so much on this site and it is because of the old timers. If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information. That and the entertainment value of gifs in the ridiculous threads is quite fantastic! :laugh:
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    You have it backwards. We are all really mean and rude and get our rocks off bullying people, and we just cover it up by saying we're trying to help.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    i'm only here to be rude to people, crush their dreams, steal their joy, and make them feel bad about themselves. if i ever happen to actually help someone it was an accident.

    ETA: and bullying. I left out the bullying. As a matter of fact, scratch everything else I said before. I'm just here to bully people.
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
    I am extremely thankful for all of the old timers who respond to questions. I have learned so much on this site and it is because of the old timers. If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information. That and the entertainment value of gifs in the ridiculous threads is quite fantastic! :laugh:

    ^QFT!!
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    I live by the mantra "what goes around comes around". When you help people it helps the world a better place one instance at a time.

    Besides it's nice to be nice.

    Enough old adages??? :flowerforyou:
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    I am burned out. Still try from time to time but I feel like what I have to say get lost in the bioscience and people get angry when they don't get the answer they want.

    This. When members stop listening it's not worth my effort. I prefer to enrich my mind elsewhere.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    I am extremely thankful for all of the old timers who respond to questions. I have learned so much on this site and it is because of the old timers. If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information. That and the entertainment value of gifs in the ridiculous threads is quite fantastic! :laugh:

    There really is a wealth of good information available here. I have also learned a great deal from the old timers (i know ive been here awhile but i still feel like i have a lot to learn). It's a shame that it is as hard as it is to filter out. Unfortunately people feel the right answer is the most popular one when in forums like these that isn't always the case.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    i'm only here to be rude to people, crush their dreams, steal their joy, and make them feel bad about themselves. if i ever happen to actually help someone it was an accident.

    That you jof?
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information.
    This.
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
    I am burned out. Still try from time to time but I feel like what I have to say get lost in the bioscience and people get angry when they don't get the answer they want.

    I get this. But then I also think about the people that just lurk in the forums and never post, but read the topics and learn something. That makes me feel better about helping. 90% of the time, you are not actually helping the OP, but instead someone that is reading your posts.
  • PhattiPhat
    PhattiPhat Posts: 349 Member
    I am burned out. Still try from time to time but I feel like what I have to say get lost in the bioscience and people get angry when they don't get the answer they want.

    I get this. But then I also think about the people that just lurk in the forums and never post, but read the topics and learn something. That makes me feel better about helping. 90% of the time, you are not actually helping the OP, but instead someone that is reading your posts.

    This. I didn't start participation in the forums til a few weeks ago. Before that I just lurked and read and learned from the ones with the big results. Also, the gifs.
  • Turnaround2012
    Turnaround2012 Posts: 362 Member

    I get this. But then I also think about the people that just lurk in the forums and never post, but read the topics and learn something. That makes me feel better about helping. 90% of the time, you are not actually helping the OP, but instead someone that is reading your posts.

    this^^
  • tatianna68
    tatianna68 Posts: 90 Member
    If my struggle and results helps just one person it is worth it. I had lots of help from my MFP friends and know it worked for me and I hope I can help make it work for others.
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
    !) I've been helped by others, so this is paying it forward.

    2) Sometimes, even though I try not to, I see someone who comes on the board so desperate for help and they get nothing but shaming, derision, criticism and it just pisses me off.

    3) Over the years, IRL and on forums, I've learned the difference between helping someone so I can feel smarter or better than someone else (but I'm not even conscious of this) and really helping someone cause I try 1) to understand their p.o.v. 2) I give my input and I let it go without needing to be acknowledged.

    4) When I "teach" I reinforce what I've learned.

    It is a good lesson in understanding and humility.
  • saschka7
    saschka7 Posts: 577 Member
    When I see responses to threads by certain people, I am much cheered because I know that those folks know what they are talking about and it's evident that they are trying to be helpful. They often provide the leaven in an otherwise lopsided and scatterbrained loaf (i.e. thread) which has run amok [okay, so some metaphors don't bear close examination].

    Then there are others whose presence in a thread just kind of rankles me. They never have anything helpful or positive to say and are consistently just argumentative and confrontational on purpose.

    It takes all kinds--but I much prefer those in the first group. Your wisdom and experience is much appreciated! :drinker:
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    I am one of the lurkers, and am also an old-timer, I guess. Been here nearly a year. I don't post much advice but I do read most of the posts and have learned so much. It didn't take me long to learn who to listen to and who not to listen to. There are people on here who are really knowledgable and realistic. Those are the people I read (and I get excited when I see them giving advice. I soak it up). And there are people who think their way is on the only way and look down on those who don't agree. I've learned to skip their responses.

    So all of you, keep doing what you're doing, the ones who want to learn will learn. We are out here and if I haven't said thank you, then THANK YOU! From the bottom of my now healthy heart. Thank you.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I am extremely thankful for all of the old timers who respond to questions. I have learned so much on this site and it is because of the old timers. If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information. That and the entertainment value of gifs in the ridiculous threads is quite fantastic! :laugh:

    You. I like you.

    tumblr_mc4ngpyXvS1rz20dio3_250_zpsf8aaa67e.gif
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information.
    This.

    What he said ^^



    I've been on here for years. Some days I want to help, some days I don't. I'm still learning, too - so some days it's nice to just read and maybe comment on one Palm Oil thread or something.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    I am extremely thankful for all of the old timers who respond to questions. I have learned so much on this site and it is because of the old timers. If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information. That and the entertainment value of gifs in the ridiculous threads is quite fantastic! :laugh:

    ^QFT!!

    Indeed!
  • Aviendha_RJ
    Aviendha_RJ Posts: 600 Member
    I help people because of all the help that I got when I started. And I'm down over 20lbs, so obviously that's worked for me.

    I think it's about "Paying it Forward". People did for me what I want to do for others.
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    I haven't been so successful as to have great standing as an expert, so I stay out of much of the noise.

    I will jump in on the occasional clean eating, detox, diet pill thread and either attempt to be helpful or just fling some poo, depending on what looks to be most appropriate.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    I am burned out. Still try from time to time but I feel like what I have to say get lost in the bioscience and people get angry when they don't get the answer they want.

    I get this. But then I also think about the people that just lurk in the forums and never post, but read the topics and learn something. That makes me feel better about helping. 90% of the time, you are not actually helping the OP, but instead someone that is reading your posts.
    Yep! When the OP is too far gone, dug in, entrenched in a ridiculous position, it's a great opportunity to show all the lurkers what not to do. Those threads become cautionary tales.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    I've been here 6 months. I like to help people. simple.
    I'm very frustrated when they refuse to listen, but eventually someone will listen.
    I've converted a few to the dark side.
  • Ejourneys
    Ejourneys Posts: 1,603 Member
    I come from a family of teachers, so it's in my genes. :-)
    I'm selective, so I don't feel burned out here at all. I don't enter into arguments, just share what's helped me.
    I'm also a caregiver, so patience and repetition have been my MO for years. In fact, coming here is a vacation for me. :-)
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Because its not all about me.

    God put me on this earth to serve others and with His help I try to do just that.

    That's not to say I don't get frustrated and wish there was an eye-rolling smiley.

    But, if I can wade through the nonsense and find genuine people asking legitimate questions then it's worth it.

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