Old timers, why do you still take the time to help people?

Mustang_Susie

I am burned out. Still try from time to time but I feel like what I have to say get lost in the bioscience and people get angry when they don't get the answer they want.

I get this. But then I also think about the people that just lurk in the forums and never post, but read the topics and learn something. That makes me feel better about helping. 90% of the time, you are not actually helping the OP, but instead someone that is reading your posts.

Yep! When the OP is too far gone, dug in, entrenched in a ridiculous position, it's a great opportunity to show all the lurkers what not to do. Those threads become cautionary tales.

Or else you shoot them

jofjltncb6

i'm only here to be rude to people, crush their dreams, steal their joy, and make them feel bad about themselves. if i ever happen to actually help someone it was an accident.

That you jof?

Dave is like a mentor to me and is the person most responsible for the man I am today.


#freeyoovie*





* Limited time offer. Restrictions apply.

etoiles_argentees

Did I just get moved on your spreadsheet?

PikaKnight

For the lolz

Nissi51

'cause it's the right thing to do..

sympha01

.... but it's a constant struggle battling against the proponents of broscience and outright falsehoods, not to mention the legions of food shamers on here.

You're awesome. Let's be friends and fight crime together.

etoiles_argentees

Did I just get moved on your spreadsheet?

hmmm... you're not stalking me, so it must be Dave, or the word "old".

Contrarian

I have learned a lot here. I like to pass it on so maybe other people won't have to struggle as much as some of us have had to. Not me, necessarily, but others. The Others.

simplyciera

In psych it's called generativity, or having the need to pass on knowledge & to younger generations/ people that don't know as much. Supposedly, we're innately supposed to want to pass on information to help those that don't know what we do. I do understand how it can become exhausting, but perhaps that's only because one overextends themselves and becomes too emotionally involved? Not sure. Either way, you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped or force someone to do something that they're not willing to do. If someone doesn't want to listen to your advice, move on to someone that does. Or stop posting random answers on a public forum where people have too much internet courage and not enough reading comprehension skills

grrrlface

I'm greatful for what I have learnt here and I want to pass that knowledge in to others!

It can get boring at times but when you genuinely help someone with questions I was asking two years ago, it feels good

Bernadette60614

Also, any kind of board is a great lesson in communication.

I've noticed that the people who are the best teachers are those who spend the least amount of time putting down others' beliefs.

Otterluv

Part of it is that I'm still learning, part of it is to try to help, but if I'm being honest: a big chunk is because I'm an obnoxious PITA who has an issue letting misinformation lie, and I LOVE pointing out hypocrisy. Not that I'm always right (and I'm fine with that), but I try to cop to it when I'm wrong and am generally fine changing my position when I learn new information. But, it drives me crazy when people doggedly stick to the same lines in face of very compelling evidence that their stances are wrong, and especially if it's dangerous to noobs. However, going back and forth with people like that makes me stay clear of the boards at times, I am not a fan of repeatedly banging my head against the wall.

IronAngel26pt2

THANK YOU old timers! Thanks for throwing your advice out to the wolves. Even tho people disagree and argue there are people out their secretly reading and learning. They appreciate it even if the mouthy people don't. Sometimes it seems like the threads become counter productive but if ONE person can benefit from it then you are a hero.

etoiles_argentees

http://youtu.be/I9cL74ApcxY

FlaxMilk

I answer questions because I like discussion. If I answer, it's because I have time to, I'm interested, or the OP seems like they really need someone to notice their thread. Sometimes I'll answer just to bump the thread for someone more knowledgeable to notice. Sometimes I'll answer if no one else has so the person doesn't do something dangerous. Some of the time I answer because I really disagree with advice the OP has been given and want to put another perspective in the mix.

I don't answer questions that I'm tired of reading about, tired of arguing about, know nothing about, don't care about, unless it's to offer a little support. I don't get burned out because honestly, 99% of the time, the OP is just an anonymous username asking a generic question. They don't stick in my mind. It doesn't matter much to me what happens in the long run. If they want to let us know, that's great. If they don't, fine too. Obviously I wish everyone well, but I don't think there's a way to remember every thread you've answered and every OP that's come along.

*Answering because I fit the more than 3-4 months criteria, not the old timer criteria

kw85296

I want to help where I can, and pass on the benefit of my experiences, and the learnings from my mistakes. But I also don't want to waste my time, so I look for people who are open and willing to learn, or situations where very bad advice is being given that needs to be countered.

If someone has given a great answer, I don't feel the need to keep responding, but I will second it to draw more attention to good answers that may get lost in the tidal wave of verbiage.

It's about maximizing my impact in the free time I have, while not getting drawn into long arguements with people who are very closed-minded, defensive, or plain wacko.

^^^^This^^

MyChocolateDiet

i'm only here to be rude to people, crush their dreams, steal their joy, and make them feel bad about themselves. if i ever happen to actually help someone it was an accident.

ETA: and bullying. I left out the bullying. As a matter of fact, scratch everything else I said before. I'm just here to bully people.

accident reported. police report filed. I have been helped by him and that led to help from a bunch of others. it took me months of bouncing around on here and running into all kinds of misinformation before identifying the no nonsense veteran folks. those who hang in there can do the same. personally i'm not an old timer by MFP standards, (just hit my half year mark), but I am an old person and as such it pains me to see any younger person naive or desperate enough to start wondering about caulkamaymie shkeemes. It worries me that their hard earned money in a bad economy will be wasted on something that will only interfere with their efforts. It's the mother in me. I can't help myself.

dirtnap63

I've learned a few things in the time that I've been here. I'm by no means an expert but I've been reasonably successful following the advice others were kind enough to take the time to offer. I like to pass that on if I can, although mostly with my FL. At least I know the crazies that dwell there.

Fiercely_Me

Because... dat *kitten*.

Haha!

jofjltncb6

Did I just get moved on your spreadsheet?

Nope...



...you're in the same place you were before...



...full "stalking creeper" status.

The_Enginerd

Not exactly an old timer, but paying it forward. But only if they look like they are willing to listen to reasonable advice. Otherwise I don't waste my time. Or post smart *kitten* gifs.

JaneDough_

Back in 2011 I did... Now.. Yeah not happening

MichelleBogart

This. I didn't start participation in the forums til a few weeks ago. Before that I just lurked and read and learned from the ones with the big results. Also, the gifs.

Yep, this is me too. I joined January 8, 2012 and didn't post until about a week ago

robin52077

I've been here over 3 years (login streak 1210!)...

The first few months I asked the stupid questions and did stupid things, like eat 1200 calories, and a few great people, who I am still friends with, helped me out tremendously...so now I try to give back and be that person for someone else....

From time to time I do get frustrated with the crap that goes on here with the starvation and misinformation and dumb stuff like not eating after a certain time, etc....then I find myself being a sarcastic @ss, and getting strikes...then I back off for a while...

But if for every ten people who brush off my advice, ONE person really learns something and GETS it, I feel like I have done something good. If I can convince ONE skinny-fat cardio bunny to pick up a barbell to see the results they want, I have done a great service.

robin52077

people like this make us NOT WANT to help...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1031244-is-it-bad-to-be-under-your-calorie-goal

Liz_Mfp

I suspect folks do it for what they can give
Not for what they can receive

The "why even bother anymore" attitude may stem from wanting to gain something in return

BrainyBurro

people like this make us NOT WANT to help...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1031244-is-it-bad-to-be-under-your-calorie-goal

i think this is the sort of thing that frustrates me most. oftentimes, excellent advice is dismissed out of hand just because the recipient dislikes the tone in which it was delivered. it's like handing somebody a great gift for their birthday, only to see them throw it away simply because they didn't like the wrapping paper on the box it came in.(*) this is the sort of thing that makes me reluctant to get involved sometimes. i have found myself recently typing up serious responses on threads designed to help and when it came time to hit the "post reply" button, abandoning my remarks because it wasn't worth getting into a kerfuffle with those who disagreed. admittedly, this happens more often on threads where somebody is doggedly arguing an opinion, but it has happened on threads where somebody is seeking advice and getting lots of bad advice in response and i just didn't feel up to battling it all by myself for whatever reason.

i do genuinely want everyone on here to lose weight, get fit, and live the happiest and healthiest life they can. but when push comes to shove, some days i'd rather spend my time amusing my friends on my newsfeed than actively trying to help complete strangers who may or may not even listen to the advice i give them.

(*) this analogy came from somebody on my friends list or one of their walls in recent days. i can't remember where i read it, but i thought it was apt. so whoever came up with it, feel free to claim credit (and if it was yoovie's quote from her blog, then i'm doubly sorry because her recent blog post got me to contemplate this topic in the first place).

Liz_Mfp

. And I realize that, no matter how many times I've seen "should I eat my exercise calories?" get asked, it's somebody's first time seeing it.

I've been here 3 months and still ask myself that question :-)

:-)

Glad there are folks around willing to discuss it :-)

MelsAuntie

Mostly to amuse myself. It's amazing the amount of misinformation and snarkiness on here, but there is good advice here too. I will tell what has been working for me; take it or leave it as you prefer.

Mustang_Susie

Also, I am an intelligent, well educated woman.

I don't require the approval of Mr. BroScience to validate the accuracy of my posts.