Old timers, why do you still take the time to help people?
Replies
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Part of it is missionary zeal. I want EVERYONE to feel this good and be doing sprint triathlons and not being on any prescriptions at the age of 60. Part of it is that I've learned a lot from people here, and the victories they've had despite binge eating issues and family and co-workers who try to sabotage their efforts. I want to encourage people when those around them IRL are telling them they can't do it.
If I'm tired of seeing a question posed for the nth time, I don't post an answer. and others always do. If I feel like answering it, I do.0 -
I do it because in feel extremely fortunate that fitness and eating right has been something I have done since I was little and it comes very easy to me. I know most struggle with finding the time, resources or motivation to get this part of their life jump started. So in will always try to help, motivate, give advice, etc and don't ever need a response or thank you. I feel very fortunate to have the ability to do so and I enjoy it to be honest. Helping others should never be a chore and should always be something you want to do. I am just hopefully that I have actually helped someone or kept them motivated to stay with it and live healthier!0
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Because it's not the same person asking the same question each time. Each new person deserves to be helped. Sure, they could use the search tool and get more answers quicker. But still.
I'm a preschool teacher. I teach the same skills and offer many of the same experiences to each new class, year after year. They're new kids, they haven't do these things yet, they haven't reached this developmental level yet. They need their turn and their chance to experience things. It's not boring because it's always new, each new group of children is different, each individual child is different. I look at this in the same way.0 -
I like being helpful and positive.0
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I still take the time because it really upsets me when I see people giving advice that I think is blatantly incorrect. I've never been overweight although everyone else in my family is. My normal weight is attributable to a long period of reading up on nutrition and exercise and being active.
I also use common sense and my own judgment and understand that although the basics of weight loss are the same for everyone (calorie reduction), people with certain goals need to eat and exercise differently based on their desired outcomes and body types. For example, some people want to look like body builders, but not everyone.
Practically every week when I see the same statements about "starvation mode," "eat more to lose more," not eating after a certain hour, eating six meals a day, or how women can never get bigger through weights and I think I should stop wasting my time.
But I hate to see other people waste theirs if they have a genuine question. Many forum members don't even answer the question the OP asked because they're so busy pushing their own agenda.0 -
I continue to be shocked at the persistence of outdated and bad information, and I think pushing people to look through what the pseudoscience pushers and snake oil salespeople are selling can only help.0
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I suspect folks do it for what they can give
Not for what they can receive
The "why even bother anymore" attitude may stem from wanting to gain something in return
When you realize that some people are not listening, are not willing to think for themselves, and it's the same thing every single day, it's not selfish to think your time would be better spent elsewhere. Some people don't even bother to search the forum.0 -
I still take the time because it really upsets me when I see people giving advice that I think is blatantly incorrect. I've never been overweight although everyone else in my family is. My normal weight is attributable to a long period of reading up on nutrition and exercise and being active.
I also use common sense and my own judgment and understand that although the basics of weight loss are the same for everyone (calorie reduction), people with certain goals need to eat and exercise differently based on their desired outcomes and body types. For example, some people want to look like body builders, but not everyone.
Practically every week when I see the same statements about "starvation mode," "eat more to lose more," not eating after a certain hour, eating six meals a day, or how women can never get bigger through weights and I think I should stop wasting my time.
But I hate to see other people waste theirs if they have a genuine question. Many forum members don't answer the question the OP asked because they're so busy pushing their own agenda.
I really wish posters would be honest with themselves and admit to having no credible knowledge about a subject.
They are only regurgitating a popular "theory" with an annoying know-it-all attitude.0 -
Because at one point in time, I had a Phd in Broscience....
Wasn't until I stumbled across a few people speaking out against the dogma pushed by the industry that they themselves were apart of.0 -
About 10-20% of my posts are there to help people also.
I learned a lot here so I try to pay it forward.
Plus I have degrees in biological engineering, wrote and edited science papers and have worked in healthcare for 20+ years. So it's sort of a life mission.
Sometimes I just like to argue against silly concepts. I tend to stay more and more quiet about things I believe I can't influence.0 -
for those who have been here for longer than 3-4 months, it's easy to get burned out trying to help people. not only are the same silly questions asked over and over again (raspberry ketones, anyone?), but it's a constant struggle battling against the proponents of broscience and outright falsehoods, not to mention the legions of food shamers on here. when you finally do get through to somebody, you often don't know because they don't bother to thank you or even follow up with their results... and when you don't get through to them, look out! you have to be prepared to be called mean and rude (unless you coat your advice with sugar frosting).
so why keep trying? many of you do (as do i) because i can see it in the public forums. my question is why?
for me, i suppose it's the categorical imperative. SOMEBODY needs to. so i do my small part. i also believe that 10%-20% of my posts on here should be made in an attempt to help people, to balance the silliness/hijinx of my other threads/posts.
so that's my answer. what's yours?
Play it forward..I was new to this once too...and my 'new' friends are just as supportive as those I have known since Day 1 of my journey. This community element of mfp is what really makes it work.0 -
i'm only here to be rude to people, crush their dreams, steal their joy, and make them feel bad about themselves. if i ever happen to actually help someone it was an accident.
ETA: and bullying. I left out the bullying. As a matter of fact, scratch everything else I said before. I'm just here to bully people.
Lol...you made me laugh...I'm by no means noob...but still have so much to learn...so far to go. I read...listen...digest...and try to weed out the bad info from the good. I listen to what seems sensible and reasonable. There are no magic potions. You and others show it takes work...dedication...and that it is possible.0 -
I still take the time because it really upsets me when I see people giving advice that I think is blatantly incorrect. I've never been overweight although everyone else in my family is. My normal weight is attributable to a long period of reading up on nutrition and exercise and being active.
I also use common sense and my own judgment and understand that although the basics of weight loss are the same for everyone (calorie reduction), people with certain goals need to eat and exercise differently based on their desired outcomes and body types. For example, some people want to look like body builders, but not everyone.
Practically every week when I see the same statements about "starvation mode," "eat more to lose more," not eating after a certain hour, eating six meals a day, or how women can never get bigger through weights and I think I should stop wasting my time.
But I hate to see other people waste theirs if they have a genuine question. Many forum members don't answer the question the OP asked because they're so busy pushing their own agenda.
I really wish posters would be honest with themselves and admit to having no credible knowledge about a subject.
They are only regurgitating a popular "theory" with an annoying know-it-all attitude.
The theories I criticized have all been debunked several times. There are some things on which I rely on my personal knowledge and anecdotal evidence worth paying attention to because many subjects have not been studied. And as someone who has never been overweight and it's not because of my magical genes -- I feel confident in advising someone who has a similar body type who has asked a question about an issue I've encountered.0 -
It does get annoying and frustrating, especially when you give a well thought out and comprehensive answer, but the OP ignores that and listens to some wacked out **** some person with a blue headed avatar, 2 posts, and nothing filled out in their profile because it's more in line with what they want to hear.
That said, I do occasionally get PMs from people who actually listen to me and appreciated my advice. If I can help someone understand what it is they're doing, how to use this tool, and how to avoid all kinds of silliness that I already went through, then it's worth the 99% of the rest of the bull****.0 -
Well, Brainy, I take the time to help those I think need it most...especially those dealing with an ED. It's a complicated mess, and one that can take years to overcome (like it has for me). Every time I get a post or message that thanks me for helping, I feel blessed to have been able to pay it forward. Because without MFP and the invaluable friendships I have formed on here, a) I would have already gained back most of the weight I lost in 2012, b) I would have made significantly less progress (if any at all) in managing depression, and c) I would still be full-blown bulimic.
So even though I refrain from answering many, many posts on here because I simply do not enjoy beating my head against the wall (I have two toddlers, so I get to do that all day long at home - hahaha), I do try to reach out when I really think I can do some good.0 -
I am extremely thankful for all of the old timers who respond to questions. I have learned so much on this site and it is because of the old timers. If one can filter through all of the crap that is in the main forums (detox, green tea extract, Pu etc) there is a massive amount of valuable information. That and the entertainment value of gifs in the ridiculous threads is quite fantastic! :laugh:
^^^ This! I am in awe of the old timers, as I have seen many of them take a lot of crap from hangry OPs who immediately get defensive and start lashing back the minute they are given really good advice that they don't want to hear (and, yes, I know they get plenty of bad advice, too), but they still keep putting their necks out there and try to help as many people as they can. If that isn't pure awesomeness, I don't know what is.0 -
It does get annoying and frustrating, especially when you give a well thought out and comprehensive answer, but the OP ignores that and listens to some wacked out **** some person with a blue headed avatar, 2 posts, and nothing filled out in their profile because it's more in line with what they want to hear.
That said, I do occasionally get PMs from people who actually listen to me and appreciated my advice. If I can help someone understand what it is they're doing, how to use this tool, and how to avoid all kinds of silliness that I already went through, then it's worth the 99% of the rest of the bull****.
I don't understand it when someone who's consulted a doctor listens to a bunch of strangers on the web who have no training. I, too, get PMs in response to my posts and I always try to be encouraging.0 -
It does get annoying and frustrating, especially when you give a well thought out and comprehensive answer, but the OP ignores that and listens to some wacked out **** some person with a blue headed avatar, 2 posts, and nothing filled out in their profile because it's more in line with what they want to hear.
That said, I do occasionally get PMs from people who actually listen to me and appreciated my advice. If I can help someone understand what it is they're doing, how to use this tool, and how to avoid all kinds of silliness that I already went through, then it's worth the 99% of the rest of the bull****.
I don't understand it when someone who's consulted a doctor listens to a bunch of strangers on the web who have no training. I, too, get PMs in response to my posts and I always try to be encouraging.
People don't even know what they don't know.
How do you combat ignorance with knowledge when the ignoramus can't even recognize intelligence?0 -
It does get annoying and frustrating, especially when you give a well thought out and comprehensive answer, but the OP ignores that and listens to some wacked out **** some person with a blue headed avatar, 2 posts, and nothing filled out in their profile because it's more in line with what they want to hear.
That said, I do occasionally get PMs from people who actually listen to me and appreciated my advice. If I can help someone understand what it is they're doing, how to use this tool, and how to avoid all kinds of silliness that I already went through, then it's worth the 99% of the rest of the bull****.
I don't understand it when someone who's consulted a doctor listens to a bunch of strangers on the web who have no training. I, too, get PMs in response to my posts and I always try to be encouraging.
People don't even know what they don't know.
How do you combat ignorance with knowledge when the ignoramus can't even recognize intelligence?
It is very disturbing. In America, people are taught that they have a right to voice a view, but they seem to have lost sight of the fact that they shouldn't merely assert opinions with no basis. The 60s-era distrust of authority thinking gets extended ridiculously to the point where laypeople think that they know more than the average doctor. They don't appreciate the nuance in the discussions. Usually, no one is saying doctors are all-knowing gods, only that at the outset, it is obviously better to follow the advice of a professional who has made an examination.
But a lot of people don't want to do what their doctors tell them. That's the crux of it. They're looking for an excuse.
But if you said, Stop making excuses, you'd be savaged. But there are whole lines of "excuse" threads, including:
What's your favorite food you're not eating? [Stop focusing on food that's inconsistent with your plan.]
Is dusting exercise? [Go do some undeniable exercise like running, or strength training or calisthenics, and stop asking silly questions. Stop making excuses.]
Should I track ___? [YES. What is the point of your being on this board? Stop making excuses.]0 -
About 10-20% of my posts are there to help people also.
I learned a lot here so I try to pay it forward.
Plus I have degrees in biological engineering, wrote and edited science papers and have worked in healthcare for 20+ years. So it's sort of a life mission.
Sometimes I just like to argue against silly concepts. I tend to stay more and more quiet about things I believe I can't influence.
this. i live to argue with people. but it's also like my life mission to help.0 -
I suspect folks do it for what they can give
Not for what they can receive
The "why even bother anymore" attitude may stem from wanting to gain something in return
Oh, that reminds me. The nekkid pics. I'll still take the time as long as I keep getting the creepy PMs and nekkid pics as a reward for helping people. Not sure how I left that out the first time0 -
It does get annoying and frustrating, especially when you give a well thought out and comprehensive answer, but the OP ignores that and listens to some wacked out **** some person with a blue headed avatar, 2 posts, and nothing filled out in their profile because it's more in line with what they want to hear.
That said, I do occasionally get PMs from people who actually listen to me and appreciated my advice. If I can help someone understand what it is they're doing, how to use this tool, and how to avoid all kinds of silliness that I already went through, then it's worth the 99% of the rest of the bull****.
I don't understand it when someone who's consulted a doctor listens to a bunch of strangers on the web who have no training. I, too, get PMs in response to my posts and I always try to be encouraging.
People don't even know what they don't know.
How do you combat ignorance with knowledge when the ignoramus can't even recognize intelligence?
It is very disturbing. In America, people are taught that they have a right to voice a view, but they seem to have lost sight of the fact that they shouldn't merely assert opinions with no basis. The 60s-era distrust of authority thinking gets extended ridiculously to the point where laypeople think that they know more than the average doctor. They don't appreciate the nuance in the discussions. Usually, no one is saying doctors are all-knowing gods, only that at the outset, it is obviously better to follow the advice of a professional who has made an examination.
But a lot of people don't want to do what their doctors tell them. That's the crux of it. They're looking for an excuse.
But if you said, Stop making excuses, you'd be savaged. But there are whole lines of "excuse" threads, including:
What's your favorite food you're not eating? [Stop focusing on food that's inconsistent with your plan.]
Is dusting exercise? [Go do some undeniable exercise like running, or strength training or calisthenics, and stop asking silly questions. Stop making excuses.]
Should I track ___? [YES. What is the point of your being on this board? Stop making excuses.]
gimme a minute........there. I just saved this conversation to my hard drive so it will be easy to find on a day when I need something ironic to amuse me.
Mustang Susie, are you aware that the person you're chatting with is the author of this comment?You look very good. But 33 26 38 is pear-shaped, not an hour-glass.
here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1032054-from-pear-to-hourglass-with-heavy-lifting-for-women?page=2
So unless helping people is trying to suck the joy out of a Success Stories thread and turn it into an attention seeking troll fest, TootToot might not be the best person to have a conversation about helping people with. Her posting history is full of garbage like this.0 -
It does get annoying and frustrating, especially when you give a well thought out and comprehensive answer, but the OP ignores that and listens to some wacked out **** some person with a blue headed avatar, 2 posts, and nothing filled out in their profile because it's more in line with what they want to hear.
That said, I do occasionally get PMs from people who actually listen to me and appreciated my advice. If I can help someone understand what it is they're doing, how to use this tool, and how to avoid all kinds of silliness that I already went through, then it's worth the 99% of the rest of the bull****.
I don't understand it when someone who's consulted a doctor listens to a bunch of strangers on the web who have no training. I, too, get PMs in response to my posts and I always try to be encouraging.
People don't even know what they don't know.
How do you combat ignorance with knowledge when the ignoramus can't even recognize intelligence?
It is very disturbing. In America, people are taught that they have a right to voice a view, but they seem to have lost sight of the fact that they shouldn't merely assert opinions with no basis. The 60s-era distrust of authority thinking gets extended ridiculously to the point where laypeople think that they know more than the average doctor. They don't appreciate the nuance in the discussions. Usually, no one is saying doctors are all-knowing gods, only that at the outset, it is obviously better to follow the advice of a professional who has made an examination.
But a lot of people don't want to do what their doctors tell them. That's the crux of it. They're looking for an excuse.
But if you said, Stop making excuses, you'd be savaged. But there are whole lines of "excuse" threads, including:
What's your favorite food you're not eating? [Stop focusing on food that's inconsistent with your plan.]
Is dusting exercise? [Go do some undeniable exercise like running, or strength training or calisthenics, and stop asking silly questions. Stop making excuses.]
Should I track ___? [YES. What is the point of your being on this board? Stop making excuses.]
gimme a minute........there. I just saved this conversation to my hard drive to it will be easy to find on a day when I need something ironic to amuse me.
Mustang Susie, you are aware the the person you're chatting with is the author of this comment?You look very good. But 33 26 38 is pear-shaped, not an hour-glass.
here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1032054-from-pear-to-hourglass-with-heavy-lifting-for-women?page=2
So unless helping people is trying to suck the joy out of a Success Stories thread and turn it into an attention seeking troll fest, TootToot might not be the best person to have a conversation about helping people with. Her posting history is full of garbage like this.
Dave, have I ever told you that you might possibly be one of my favorite people ever??0 -
I just do not want people to do through what I did, the years of poor health and weight because I did not believe in myself.0
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I suspect folks do it for what they can give
Not for what they can receive
The "why even bother anymore" attitude may stem from wanting to gain something in return
Oh, that reminds me. The nekkid pics. I'll still take the time as long as I keep getting the creepy PMs and nekkid pics as a reward for helping people. Not sure how I left that out the first time
Is there like a menu of how much skin must be exposed based on the help needed? Is lifting help more or less nekkidness than diet help?0 -
It is just how I roll. :smokin:0
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I have been on here a year tomorrow and I still don't mind paying it forward.0
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It does get annoying and frustrating, especially when you give a well thought out and comprehensive answer, but the OP ignores that and listens to some wacked out **** some person with a blue headed avatar, 2 posts, and nothing filled out in their profile because it's more in line with what they want to hear.
That said, I do occasionally get PMs from people who actually listen to me and appreciated my advice. If I can help someone understand what it is they're doing, how to use this tool, and how to avoid all kinds of silliness that I already went through, then it's worth the 99% of the rest of the bull****.
I don't understand it when someone who's consulted a doctor listens to a bunch of strangers on the web who have no training. I, too, get PMs in response to my posts and I always try to be encouraging.
People don't even know what they don't know.
How do you combat ignorance with knowledge when the ignoramus can't even recognize intelligence?
It is very disturbing. In America, people are taught that they have a right to voice a view, but they seem to have lost sight of the fact that they shouldn't merely assert opinions with no basis. The 60s-era distrust of authority thinking gets extended ridiculously to the point where laypeople think that they know more than the average doctor. They don't appreciate the nuance in the discussions. Usually, no one is saying doctors are all-knowing gods, only that at the outset, it is obviously better to follow the advice of a professional who has made an examination.
But a lot of people don't want to do what their doctors tell them. That's the crux of it. They're looking for an excuse.
But if you said, Stop making excuses, you'd be savaged. But there are whole lines of "excuse" threads, including:
What's your favorite food you're not eating? [Stop focusing on food that's inconsistent with your plan.]
Is dusting exercise? [Go do some undeniable exercise like running, or strength training or calisthenics, and stop asking silly questions. Stop making excuses.]
Should I track ___? [YES. What is the point of your being on this board? Stop making excuses.]
gimme a minute........there. I just saved this conversation to my hard drive to it will be easy to find on a day when I need something ironic to amuse me.
Mustang Susie, you are aware the the person you're chatting with is the author of this comment?You look very good. But 33 26 38 is pear-shaped, not an hour-glass.
here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1032054-from-pear-to-hourglass-with-heavy-lifting-for-women?page=2
So unless helping people is trying to suck the joy out of a Success Stories thread and turn it into an attention seeking troll fest, TootToot might not be the best person to have a conversation about helping people with. Her posting history is full of garbage like this.
thanks for posting that. i was getting annoyed that she was hijacking this thread into a venue for her to complain about how she feels beseiged by people telling her to stop posting her bad information. IIRC, under her former username, toutmonpossible was a persistent advocate of 1200 calorie diets. not just for that tiny percentage of women that perhaps can/should be on 1200 calories a day because of their low BMR, but for all women. she would consistently get nasty with anyone who told her she was wrong and would barge into any thread discussing the pitfalls of 1200 calories and demand that her voice be heard above all others. in short, she's a good example of the type of person on here who i used to spend time trying to rebut because i felt her advice was not only wrong, but harmful. assuming of course that she used to be who i think she was. i'm 95% certain that she is.0 -
I genuinely like helping people, strange, I know. If a guy posts an honest question and really looking for an answer, then I usually reply to the thread. If it's a person looking to validate her fad diet, more often than not I'll skip it.0
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I suspect folks do it for what they can give
Not for what they can receive
The "why even bother anymore" attitude may stem from wanting to gain something in return
Oh, that reminds me. The nekkid pics. I'll still take the time as long as I keep getting the creepy PMs and nekkid pics as a reward for helping people. Not sure how I left that out the first time
Is there like a menu of how much skin must be exposed based on the help needed? Is lifting help more or less nekkidness than diet help?
I can't speak for others, but I'm more of a lifting helper than a diet helper. So I just charge one price for advice of any type. Boobs. I like to keep it simple.0
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