My Wedding is in 30 days!!! HELP!!!

brittanygv
brittanygv Posts: 5 Member
edited January 2016 in Health and Weight Loss
Ok - so heres the thing: my wedding is in 30 days and I am technically 50 pounds overweight. I am 5'10 and weigh 205 lbs with 15 lbs gained since August last year because of stress and overeating. I thought I was losing weight over the past month because I have been paying attention to my portions and making, what I thought, were better choices, but obviously not.

I need help!!! My wedding is in 30 days and I don't want to look or feel like the fat cow I feel like right now. Obviously, I can't lose it all but I don't know where to begin in losing any! I have always struggled with my weight and I feel stuck- like I can't change this body no matter what I do. I literally feel gross every time I put clothes on. This is not how I want to feel when I am putting on my wedding dress.

Any advice?
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Replies

  • Miss_Mabee
    Miss_Mabee Posts: 119 Member
    You already know what work you just have to keep it up. Log everything you eat... honestly!! Weighing your food is by far the best option. Work out. Like seriously actually do it. Every single day between now and your wedding. Do some strength training as this will tone and tighten.

    Push yourself super hard. It's only 30 days. Everyone can deal with 30 days of super determination.

    A lot of things in life are hard: childbirth, fighting cancer, planning a wedding :) THIS is not that hard (or so I tell myself :P ) Im trimming down for my wedding too!
  • emmycantbemeeko
    emmycantbemeeko Posts: 303 Member
    You can't, as you say, lose 50 lbs in thirty days. Let go of even the hint of that idea now. There are tons of companies and individuals who will promise you that you can achieve crazy results like that online, but they're scams who will leave you with less money and just as much weight.

    In 30 days you *can* start eating in a healthy, sustainable way that leads to steady weight loss, start moving more in moderate ways that boost your energy, build your strength, and makes you feel more connected to and capable with your body, and track your food to start to learn how to make permanent changes that help you feel like you're not a "fat cow" (which you are not, you're a human being who is marrying someone you presumably love in 30 days, which is awesome!).

    You can't make drastic changes to your body in 30 days, but you can make drastic changes to your lifestyle and feelings about yourself in 30 days, and if you do that, and maintain those changes, you will feel much better on your wedding day, and might well be down 50 lbs by your first anniversary, and capable of keeping it off forever.
  • bellaa_x0
    bellaa_x0 Posts: 1,062 Member
    i don't know what kind of results you are expecting to see with only 30 days til your wedding.. but for starters you can start to eat according to your calorie goal (whether you use the one given to you by MFP or other source) and get in some exercise.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Put the wedding off for a year? Or make a time machine and go back to last year and start then?

    Seriously, just have your wedding. At best you might lose 5 pounds or so - 3 of which will be water. It's too late to worry about 50 pounds for a wedding in one month.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Set up your MFP profile with a one pound per week weight loss goal. Eat that number of calories. Do you exercise? If so, log the exercise. Whether you use MFP's exercise calories or an HRM or numbers from another site, I suggest checking a few different calculators to see if they are reasonable for your size. MFP is set up to increase your calorie goal whenever you log exercise. You can then eat those calories because the deficit you need in order to lose weight is built into the base goal. Some people worry about the exercise calories being too high. If you identify with that fear, eat a certain portion, such as 50% for four weeks and then look at your progress and move up/move down/stay the same based on that.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    you can start now and try to get on the path to sustainable weight loss.

    I would just focus on eating less and getting into a calorie deficit.

    1. enter your stats into MFP and set for one pound per week loss, and eat to that number.
    2. get a food scale and weight all solids
    3. get adquate protein, about .65 grams per pound of body weight will suffice.
    4. fine an exercise program that you like and commit to it.
    5. get adequate nutrition, but also realize that you can continue to eat calore dense foods that you like, like pizza, ice cream, etc, just make sure that you dont exceed the calories that MFP gives you.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    Start by putting your statistics into MFP and following the plan. Don't starve yourself! You'll just add more stress. Just get started now, and don't stop after the wedding.

    Take short breaks from the deficit if you want/need, but don't stop. Plan a date when you will start back (like say, after the honeymoon). And stick with it. Weight control shouldn't be something you ever stop.

    Don't ruin your wedding day by worrying about your weight. If you are lucky, it will be the only wedding day you ever have. Enjoy!
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Set up your MFP profile with a one pound per week weight loss goal. Eat that number of calories. Do you exercise? If so, log the exercise. Whether you use MFP's exercise calories or an HRM or numbers from another site, I suggest checking a few different calculators to see if they are reasonable for your size. MFP is set up to increase your calorie goal whenever you log exercise. You can then eat those calories because the deficit you need in order to lose weight is built into the base goal. Some people worry about the exercise calories being too high. If you identify with that fear, eat a certain portion, such as 50% for four weeks and then look at your progress and move up/move down/stay the same based on that.

    This. Anything more, and all you'd be doing is increasing your stress level right before your wedding, and you're probably stressed out enough as it is. Plus, if by some miracle you managed to lose a ton of weight now (and you won't; nobody would), would your dress even still fit? Your goal right now should be to relax and de-stress so you're happy at your wedding and can enjoy the day, not run yourself ragged beforehand so you're too tired to have fun.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    edited January 2016

    OP, just log your food everyday and try to maintain your calorie goal. Do what you can but do lower your expectations. Aim for like 5 lbs and if you lose more, great. If not, you can always continue after the honeymoon. No one is going to be weighing you and announcing your weight before "man and wife" is. I'm sure you'll look beautiful and your soon-to-be husband will love you regardless if you lose weight before your wedding or not. Just continue to make good choices, log, exercise and feel better about yourself.
  • strong_curves
    strong_curves Posts: 2,229 Member
    Just enjoy your day.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    My advice...

    Today enter your stats into MFP, set your weight loss goal to 1lb per week. Buy a digital scale, weigh, measure and log everything you eat; adhere to your calorie goal. Get out and walk at least 30 minutes daily.

    Of course, you're only going to make a small dent in your overall weight loss. But you will feel better about yourself when you start and continue to make good healthy choices and develope healthy habits.

    Good luck.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    In addition to what everyone else has mentioned, I'm guessing you've already purchased your dress, right? If so, you don't want to change your body too drastically as only so many alterations can be done and they aren't cheap, either. Just try to be as healthy and as active as you can and work on the stress eating.
  • BruinsGal_91
    BruinsGal_91 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Isn't magnesium citrate the stuff they give you to prep for a colonoscopy? No, just no.

    Stick to healthy choices, plus some exercise, and lots of water.

    And then enjoy your very special day.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    emmycantbemeeko wrote: »
    In 30 days you *can* start eating in a healthy, sustainable way that leads to steady weight loss, start moving more in moderate ways that boost your energy, build your strength, and makes you feel more connected to and capable with your body, and track your food to start to learn how to make permanent changes that help you feel like you're not a "fat cow" (which you are not, you're a human being who is marrying someone you presumably love in 30 days, which is awesome!).

    Absolutely this. Just get started--you will feel so much better and lose some. I started with nearly 100 lbs to lose and was amazed at how much better I felt after a month (when I was obviously far from goal) since I was losing weight and felt more in control and was proud of myself for meeting my various progress goals (stuff like meeting my calories, working out a certain amount, walking a lot more). It just helped so much with how I felt about myself.

    Don't make it a horribly restrictive plan or force yourself to work out hours a day -- that will just make you think losing weight is miserable and probably lead to it being a temporary thing that you quit the moment the wedding is over.

    Use MFP to figure out a good calorie goal and eat that. Making good choices for nutritious food and getting enough protein and micronutrients are good things to do and may make hitting the calorie goal easier (and often make people feel more energetic and better), but make sure you enjoy how you are eating, as you want something you can stick to long-term.

    Increase activity as possible. If you can just walk more, do that. If there are activities you think you might enjoy (running, gym classes, DVDs, dancing) add that in. It makes sense to start at a level that works with your current fitness and then you will naturally ramp up. Doing some strength stuff can be helpful too. An added benefit of this is that it can be stress relief and I imagine there may be some stress in the next month.

    Don't panic -- everything will be fine!
  • emmycantbemeeko
    emmycantbemeeko Posts: 303 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    In addition to what everyone else has mentioned, I'm guessing you've already purchased your dress, right? If so, you don't want to change your body too drastically as only so many alterations can be done and they aren't cheap, either. Just try to be as healthy and as active as you can and work on the stress eating.

    Really good point. Your wedding dress is probably the most carefully purchased, tailored piece of clothing you'll ever wear- you'll look better in it at the weight it was tailored for than you will if you lose the five or (absolutely max) ten pounds you might be able to swing if you torture yourself for the next 30 days and are only marginally less overweight, but with a dress that doesn't fit quite right.

    Your fiance loved you enough to marry you at 190 lbs, I guarantee he still loves you at 205. You may have just had a sudden thunderclap realization that you've gained more weight than you realized, but I promise the people around you, who see you every day and have no emotional investment in denying your reality (they're too busy denying their own imperfections like the rest of us) already know exactly what you look like, and they love you and are excited to help you celebrate your wedding. Nobody is going to gasp in horror when you walk down the aisle- they're going to sigh at how lovely you look in your dress and happiness.

    Please don't let a fixation on your weight ruin your enjoyment of a day that should be about celebrating the fact that you and your fiance love each other.

    I was very near my lifetime high weight for my wedding, and it was still one of the best days ever. It's not a deadline for physical perfection, it's a celebration of the start of the rest of your life together. You're marrying someone you love. You're going to look great. Don't let a worry about your weight ruin that for you.
  • jaynee7283
    jaynee7283 Posts: 160 Member
    Am I the only in the camp of "just enjoy your wedding date - your fiance loves you the way you are so no need to stress out about it"?

    I mean, will the dress not fit? Is that what is the issue? If the dress fits, then I say just coast for the next 30 days, enjoy your honeymoon, and then once you return home, start following MFP guidelines and lose weight in a normal fashion versus a "rush job" to supposedly make one fabulous day of your life even more fabulous. Not worth it.

    You have enough going on planning the wedding that you don't need to add the stress of trying to lose ANY kind of weight before the wedding.
  • emmycantbemeeko
    emmycantbemeeko Posts: 303 Member
    BruinsGal_91 wrote: »
    Isn't magnesium citrate the stuff they give you to prep for a colonoscopy? No, just no.

    Stick to healthy choices, plus some exercise, and lots of water.

    And then enjoy your very special day.

    It is. It's horrible, even people who *need* to take it because they're severely constipated or are having a procedure usually spend hours clinging to the toilet in fear after the initial blowout and feel/look like death after taking it.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    edited January 2016
    Just work hard, make sure you don't hurt yourself, remember your goals, and have a dress fitting booked for 1 week before your wedding. Book it ASAP.

    I wasn't in the same boat really, but I know that in the last week before my wedding I wish I'd had a dress appt booked. I was SO stressed because the church wouldn't finalize anything that I dropped 5 lb in a week. And at 135 lb, that's a lot in terms of dress fit. Wedding dresses are picky - so having a last minute fitting is a good idea no matter what!
  • emmycantbemeeko
    emmycantbemeeko Posts: 303 Member
    jaynee7283 wrote: »
    Am I the only in the camp of "just enjoy your wedding date - your fiance loves you the way you are so no need to stress out about it"?

    I mean, will the dress not fit? Is that what is the issue? If the dress fits, then I say just coast for the next 30 days, enjoy your honeymoon, and then once you return home, start following MFP guidelines and lose weight in a normal fashion versus a "rush job" to supposedly make one fabulous day of your life even more fabulous. Not worth it.

    You have enough going on planning the wedding that you don't need to add the stress of trying to lose ANY kind of weight before the wedding.

    Eh, I identify with feeling terrible when I realize my nutrition and movement choices have been poor for a long time, and I start to feel physically and mentally much better when I'm making good ones, even without seeing visible physical changes. "Just coast" till after a big event is over before starting a weight loss plan is good advice if someone needs to lose weight for an external reason but feels okay about themselves. But if someone is feeling extremely down on themselves and panicky over their weight shortly before their wedding, it's too late to see big visible results, but taking control of their diet and exercise could make a big positive difference in their mental state and enjoyment of the day.

    I feel a lot better in general at a higher weight but eating and moving well and losing steadily than I do at a lower weight but sedentary and gaining.





  • timetochange52
    timetochange52 Posts: 66 Member
    Just enjoy your wedding day! Eat healthy, do some moderate exercise, get fresh air, take your vitamins, and most importantly relax. Log your foods and stay within your calorie goal. Don't do anything crazy to try and loose weight quickly and end up sick on your wedding day!!
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited January 2016
    At your weight, in 30 days you should expect to something like 4-6 pounds. Possibly even 8 since you are just starting! It may not be a world of difference, but it will accomplish what you are looking for: feeling thinner. It will also give you a liberating feeling that you can change your body! You will feel empowered and less helpless.

    The best thing you could do is to log every single thing you eat, even if it's just a bite. At one point I was starting to gain weight back when I was supposed to be maintaining and I didn't understand... I felt like I wasn't eating much and that I was logging my food reasonably accurately. Then I tightened my logging and apparently, the random bites and sips I took while cooking, cleaning, passing by, finishing the last of something to throw away the container...etc added up to 350+ calories. I was shocked that I was wasting so many calories on foods I didn't feel, or in some cases even remember, that I was eating. A food scale would also be valuable for you, since you have a problem with gauging portions. Eyeballing or measuring non-liquids with cups can add many extra calories you are not aware of. In your mind you are doing everything right, but for some reason not losing weight, but take a look at these videos to understand how little barely noticeable details make a lot of difference:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjKPIcI51lU&feature=youtu.be

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVjWPclrWVY

    Side by side you may see the difference, but I guarantee if you were shown a certain food in 2 quantities that are only a little bit different without a frame of reference you will not notice, resulting in frustration why your body does not seem to want to lose weight.

    Best of luck to you, and congratulations.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    edited January 2016
    brittanygv wrote: »
    Ok - so heres the thing: my wedding is in 30 days and I am technically 50 pounds overweight. I am 5'10 and weigh 205 lbs with 15 lbs gained since August last year because of stress and overeating. I thought I was losing weight over the past month because I have been paying attention to my portions and making, what I thought, were better choices, but obviously not.

    I need help!!! My wedding is in 30 days and I don't want to look or feel like the fat cow I feel like right now. Obviously, I can't lose it all but I don't know where to begin in losing any! I have always struggled with my weight and I feel stuck- like I can't change this body no matter what I do. I literally feel gross every time I put clothes on. This is not how I want to feel when I am putting on my wedding dress.

    Any advice?

    Make a list of things you like about yourself- not just your appearance. You have lots of great qualities and you are not a number on the scale.
    This is not the time to add to your stress by trying to lose a lot of weight quickly in an unhealthy way.
    You aren't going to make a visible difference in 30 days. You can get started and lose about 4 lbs. If you keep going you can continue to make a sustainable long term change. Expect it to take time- 50 lbs might take you a year or 2 to lose. Be patient and realistic. You can lose weight.
    Give MFP your stats, activity level and choose 1 lb a week. Eat the calories it tells you. Work on logging as accurately as you can. Watch your sodium intake. Get enough protein.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    jaynee7283 wrote: »
    Am I the only in the camp of "just enjoy your wedding date - your fiance loves you the way you are so no need to stress out about it"?

    I mean, will the dress not fit? Is that what is the issue? If the dress fits, then I say just coast for the next 30 days, enjoy your honeymoon, and then once you return home, start following MFP guidelines and lose weight in a normal fashion versus a "rush job" to supposedly make one fabulous day of your life even more fabulous. Not worth it.

    You have enough going on planning the wedding that you don't need to add the stress of trying to lose ANY kind of weight before the wedding.

    I think just not worrying about it would be fine, if that's what made the OP happiest, but she might feel better and less stressed if she took control of her weight and lost a few pounds and felt like she was on a good path. I don't think losing weight must be more stressful than not losing weight (and feeling like she's gaining and doesn't understand why can be stressful).
  • brittanygv
    brittanygv Posts: 5 Member
    thank you so much for all of the advice everyone! the quickness and amount of responses on this thread is really comforting.

    i think getting started and taking my goals seriously is key - for sure! I have already put in the new goals in MFP and will work to stick with the caloric intake they set (1450). Exercising is definitely a priority too - will have to exercise on the days that I can. On top of wedding planning, I'm in grad school, working, and studying for med school entrance exams. It can be done - just busy lol

    Thanks again! I really appreciate the support.
    And the fiance does loves me as I am- he has never said I am too big or made me feel bad about my weight. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. I am super excited to be marrying him. Just want to feel "dead sexy" on the big day ;)
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Debmal77 wrote: »
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    chelseakrenzke wrote: »
    If you want a quick temporary weight loss for an event then doing a cleanse would be good. That's what I do and l usually lose about 10 pounds in a week however I usually gain it back within a month or so. The cleanse I do is simple. I eat raw fruits and veggies for 3 days, that's it. Then I fast for 12 hours only drinking water. I drink a quarter cup of olive oil with a quarter cup of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice. Then fast another 12-24 hours only drinking water. Then I drink at least 8oz of a laxative called magnesium citrate. Afterwards slowly work a healthy diet back in. Start with just fruits and veggies for a day or two then add a food group in and then 2 days later add a bother food group. So on and so forth. Just make sure you exercise and eat healthy proportioned meals and snacks.


    I have lost 15 pounds this way in only 2.5 weeks. But it is not for a long term fix.

    Oh dear! I would recommend NOT taking laxatives before your wedding. Do you really want to be worrying about THAT as you walk down the aisle?? :o::noway::

    lol exactly

    200.gif

    best movie scene, evah!! Thanks for the giggle!!
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Good god. Think of your poor husband on the wedding night and stay away from the laxatives. Do you really want to spend the evening on the toilet? Not to mention the fact you don't want your professional photographer taking photos of you crapping down the aisle.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    brittanygv wrote: »
    thank you so much for all of the advice everyone! the quickness and amount of responses on this thread is really comforting.

    i think getting started and taking my goals seriously is key - for sure! I have already put in the new goals in MFP and will work to stick with the caloric intake they set (1450). Exercising is definitely a priority too - will have to exercise on the days that I can. On top of wedding planning, I'm in grad school, working, and studying for med school entrance exams. It can be done - just busy lol

    Thanks again! I really appreciate the support.
    And the fiance does loves me as I am- he has never said I am too big or made me feel bad about my weight. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. I am super excited to be marrying him. Just want to feel "dead sexy" on the big day ;)

    Good for you. Just be patient and enjoy your day, at whatever weight you end up being. You can keep going after the wedding!
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited January 2016
    It would also be good to start some sort of resistance training, be it weights, kettlebell, body weight... whatever you prefer. It may not show a big difference in the way you look within a month, but it can show a big difference in the way you carry yourself. Stronger core gives you a better posture, and feeling overall empowered gives you confidence. Both will make a difference in the way you look and feel even if you aren't that much smaller. Be warned though. Introducing a new exercise program could mask your weight loss. Your muscles will be hoarding water to heal so whatever weight you are losing may not be showing on the scale at first.
  • brittanygv
    brittanygv Posts: 5 Member
    amusedmonkey wrote: »
    It would also be good to start some sort of resistance training, be it weights, kettlebell, body weight... whatever you prefer. It may not show a big difference in the way you look within a month, but it can show a big difference in the way you carry yourself. Stronger core gives you a better posture, and feeling overall empowered gives you confidence. Both will make a difference in the way you look and feel even if you aren't that much smaller. Be warned though. Introducing a new exercise program could mask your weight loss. Your muscles will be hoarding water to heal so whatever weight you are losing may not be showing on the scale at first.

    When I work out at home, I like to either run or do Jillian Michaels 30 day shred or some variation of her workouts. The biggest issue is being consistent and working out more than 1-2 days per week. On the days I have school, I am definitely going to try to incorporate a brisk walk in between classes. Days off, do the Jillian thing, or run, or do some yoga. Need to make a plan.
  • jimandpam87
    jimandpam87 Posts: 62 Member
    OP, I've been there and I sympathize. I got married a little over a year ago. I bought a dress when I was close to my lowest weight, and then subsequently gained about 10-15 lbs by the time the fittings came around. My solution was to focus on exercise rather than starving myself. I saw where you like the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels. That's exactly what I did - every single day until my 2nd dress fitting. Guess what? It fit. Losing inches and toning is what's going to be noticeable in wedding pictures, rather than just dropping x amount of weight. Obviously, you need to have a calorie deficit, but for the next 30 days I would focus on the 30 Day Shred. And definitely don't do a "cleanse". Gross.

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