A "situation" in the gym - how would you handle it?
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WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
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Lol, you do realize that supervisors/managers/owners of businesses rely on the the perception of service from PAYING CUSTOMERS to figure out if their business is thriving or needs improvement? If nothing is said, nothing gets fixed and management would have this false sense that everything is fine.rattiemomma wrote: »The main problem, OP, is you left it so long before saying anything. By the time you manned up and said something the resentment and ill feeling had built within you. This meant that the situation was emotionally charged beyond what it would have been if you'd have just plainly said it the first time you'd seen it and taken the emotion out of it. It also meant that you'd allowed the deviant pattern of behaviour to establish itself because you'd given it room and time to grow.
I would have said (the first time I saw him do it) "dude, you're new here, so you probably don't know any better. But the rule here is we rerack our *kitten* when we've finished with it. Now you know the rule, I don't suppose you'll have any problem sticking to it?"
No emotion. Just a statement of fact. The first time I saw it. People who progressively get their panties in a bunch and then have to have a big emotional meltdown about it somewhere down the road make life difficult for themselves. Don't like something? Call it when you see it.
This is probably not going to fit in with the kumbaya MFP vibe, where we're all here to support each other and everything is always someone else's fault: but you don't like something? Change it. That change is difficult and filled with friction? Probably means it's worthwhile.
/rant
I'm genuinely curious: How would you know that first time you witnessed it wasn't an anomaly? If someone came over and told me what to do with my "*kitten*", especially if I had just made a mistake out of line with my typical behavior, I would likely feel fairly defensive. You need to know there is a history to know there is actually a problem, yes? And why would it be a paying customer's responsibility to fix an employee/contractor's "deviant pattern of behaviour"? If I were doing my job poorly, my boss would be the right person to address it, my job would probably be on the line, and the customer would be offered an apology. It's just good business.
I'm all for being the change you want to see, but I'm unclear on how it would be appropriate in this case.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I just meant you said you would have asked him to re-rack plainly without emotional charge. I don't think those words would be taken plainly without emotional charge.WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
Just a comment, nothing personal.0 -
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.0 -
And not all
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.
And not all lifters are roid heads0 -
rattiemomma wrote: »The main problem, OP, is you left it so long before saying anything. By the time you manned up and said something the resentment and ill feeling had built within you. This meant that the situation was emotionally charged beyond what it would have been if you'd have just plainly said it the first time you'd seen it and taken the emotion out of it. It also meant that you'd allowed the deviant pattern of behaviour to establish itself because you'd given it room and time to grow.
I would have said (the first time I saw him do it) "dude, you're new here, so you probably don't know any better. But the rule here is we rerack our *kitten* when we've finished with it. Now you know the rule, I don't suppose you'll have any problem sticking to it?"
No emotion. Just a statement of fact. The first time I saw it. People who progressively get their panties in a bunch and then have to have a big emotional meltdown about it somewhere down the road make life difficult for themselves. Don't like something? Call it when you see it.
This is probably not going to fit in with the kumbaya MFP vibe, where we're all here to support each other and everything is always someone else's fault: but you don't like something? Change it. That change is difficult and filled with friction? Probably means it's worthwhile.
/rant
I'm genuinely curious: How would you know that first time you witnessed it wasn't an anomaly? If someone came over and told me what to do with my "*kitten*", especially if I had just made a mistake out of line with my typical behavior, I would likely feel fairly defensive. You need to know there is a history to know there is actually a problem, yes? And why would it be a paying customer's responsibility to fix an employee/contractor's "deviant pattern of behaviour"? If I were doing my job poorly, my boss would be the right person to address it, my job would probably be on the line, and the customer would be offered an apology. It's just good business.
I'm all for being the change you want to see, but I'm unclear on how it would be appropriate in this case.
The OP mentioned that the trainer was new (last three months) and had strayed into their orbit in the last 2 weeks due to a routine change.
I suspect that the OP was observing and disapproving of the behaviour from afar (when it had little to no impact on them) after it became a problem for them (after two weeks of the routine change) they got increasingly miffed about it.
My intention is that I would have seen the trainer fail to re-rack their stuff after the 1st or 2nd visit and would have said something. I'm currently teaching my 2 1/2 year old how to tidy up after herself, it's not rocket surgery, after all.
A grown man (like the trainer) should be able to do it as well. A grown women (which I assume you are) would also be aware that adults tidy up after themselves. It's not a "mistake" to leave a pile of crap after yourself. You don't suddenly wake up after a lifetime of tidying up after yourself and then mistakenly, routinely, once you enter a gym start to fail to tidy up.
My actual "take the emotion out of it" idea is not to make sure everyone is mellow and we can all sit down in the daisies and have a sing song and a bit of a cry together. It's that it doesn't get to the stage where you've bottled your own emotions up to such an extent that you start name calling, punching, etc - calling people b*tches, for example - and generally acting like more of an inconsiderate *kitten* than the guy you're talking to. If someone gets called on their behaviour and gets their panties in a bunch, that's their problem - I've made a rational attempt to point out where they're going wrong.0 -
singingflutelady wrote: »And not all
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.
And not all lifters are roid heads
Yep, how many 'roid heads do you think are in a typical chain gym?0 -
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.
I was very specific in stating MY PREFERENCES. If you're thin and a granny you wouldn't fit the data set now would you?0 -
Packerjohn wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »And not all
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.
And not all lifters are roid heads
Yep, how many 'roid heads do you think are in a typical chain gym?
I actually left a chain gym because they posted steroid warning posters in the men's locker room. I took this as insight into their clientele.0 -
There are a few juicers at my gym but they don't exhibit roid rage or anything. Plus they are usually just curling so they are out of my way
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Packerjohn wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »And not all
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.
And not all lifters are roid heads
Yep, how many 'roid heads do you think are in a typical chain gym?
I actually left a chain gym because they posted steroid warning posters in the men's locker room. I took this as insight into their clientele.
Roid rage is generally an over inflated' problem'. There are at least five guys I know at my gym on the sauce and they are super nice. And taking it isn't a problem. It's a personal choice and not necessarily an opening for a judgement call from you.
You know who tlmy gym just kicked out though? A 50 something year old man who flipped out for the third time in the staff. 100% not on juice.
Don't be so quick to assume.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »
I just meant you said you would have asked him to re-rack plainly without emotional charge. I don't think those words would be taken plainly without emotional charge.WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
Just a comment, nothing personal.
He's saying that he wouldn't be emotionally charged on his end. But by waiting until he's fuming about it, any attempt to address the situation will likely see his built up anger seep out no matter how civil he tries to be. How the other person takes it is up to them.
I have no idea why people think it's difficult to recognize new members or workers at the gym. It's maybe the easiest thing in the world to notice.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »
I just meant you said you would have asked him to re-rack plainly without emotional charge. I don't think those words would be taken plainly without emotional charge.WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
Just a comment, nothing personal.
He's saying that he wouldn't be emotionally charged on his end. But by waiting until he's fuming about it, any attempt to address the situation will likely see his built up anger seep out no matter how civil he tries to be. How the other person takes it is up to them.
I have no idea why people think it's difficult to recognize new members or workers at the gym. It's maybe the easiest thing in the world to notice.
Truth on both accounts.0 -
Packerjohn wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »And not all
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.
And not all lifters are roid heads
Yep, how many 'roid heads do you think are in a typical chain gym?
I actually left a chain gym because they posted steroid warning posters in the men's locker room. I took this as insight into their clientele.
So they said "don't do this " and you automatically assumed everyone was doing it? Do you walk out of restaurants that have signs in the restroom telling their employees to wash their hands?0 -
Packerjohn wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »And not all
Not all grannies are fat and many fat ladies are quite young to be grannies. So watch it buddy before generalizing and body and age shamming people.
And not all lifters are roid heads
Yep, how many 'roid heads do you think are in a typical chain gym?
I actually left a chain gym because they posted steroid warning posters in the men's locker room. I took this as insight into their clientele.
So they said "don't do this " and you automatically assumed everyone was doing it? Do you walk out of restaurants that have signs in the restroom telling their employees to wash their hands?
I don't go to restaurants that have "no smoking" signs because I don't like to be around smokers.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »
I just meant you said you would have asked him to re-rack plainly without emotional charge. I don't think those words would be taken plainly without emotional charge.WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
Just a comment, nothing personal.
He's saying that he wouldn't be emotionally charged on his end. But by waiting until he's fuming about it, any attempt to address the situation will likely see his built up anger seep out no matter how civil he tries to be. How the other person takes it is up to them.
I have no idea why people think it's difficult to recognize new members or workers at the gym. It's maybe the easiest thing in the world to notice.
So you would go up to some trainer at the gym whom you think is new because he just started training a client while you're there a few weeks ago and open the conversation with, "dude, you're new here, so you probably don't know any better. But the rule here is we rerack our *kitten* when we've finished with it. Now you know the rule, I don't suppose you'll have any problem sticking to it?"
And you think that would come across as not emotionally charged? He sounds angry and judgmental to me, and like a know-it-all. Just my opinion.
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rattiemomma wrote: »The main problem, OP, is you left it so long before saying anything. By the time you manned up and said something the resentment and ill feeling had built within you. This meant that the situation was emotionally charged beyond what it would have been if you'd have just plainly said it the first time you'd seen it and taken the emotion out of it. It also meant that you'd allowed the deviant pattern of behaviour to establish itself because you'd given it room and time to grow.
I would have said (the first time I saw him do it) "dude, you're new here, so you probably don't know any better. But the rule here is we rerack our *kitten* when we've finished with it. Now you know the rule, I don't suppose you'll have any problem sticking to it?"
No emotion. Just a statement of fact. The first time I saw it. People who progressively get their panties in a bunch and then have to have a big emotional meltdown about it somewhere down the road make life difficult for themselves. Don't like something? Call it when you see it.
This is probably not going to fit in with the kumbaya MFP vibe, where we're all here to support each other and everything is always someone else's fault: but you don't like something? Change it. That change is difficult and filled with friction? Probably means it's worthwhile.
/rant
I'm genuinely curious: How would you know that first time you witnessed it wasn't an anomaly? If someone came over and told me what to do with my "*kitten*", especially if I had just made a mistake out of line with my typical behavior, I would likely feel fairly defensive. You need to know there is a history to know there is actually a problem, yes? And why would it be a paying customer's responsibility to fix an employee/contractor's "deviant pattern of behaviour"? If I were doing my job poorly, my boss would be the right person to address it, my job would probably be on the line, and the customer would be offered an apology. It's just good business.
I'm all for being the change you want to see, but I'm unclear on how it would be appropriate in this case.
The OP mentioned that the trainer was new (last three months) and had strayed into their orbit in the last 2 weeks due to a routine change.
I suspect that the OP was observing and disapproving of the behaviour from afar (when it had little to no impact on them) after it became a problem for them (after two weeks of the routine change) they got increasingly miffed about it.
My intention is that I would have seen the trainer fail to re-rack their stuff after the 1st or 2nd visit and would have said something. I'm currently teaching my 2 1/2 year old how to tidy up after herself, it's not rocket surgery, after all.
A grown man (like the trainer) should be able to do it as well. A grown women (which I assume you are) would also be aware that adults tidy up after themselves. It's not a "mistake" to leave a pile of crap after yourself. You don't suddenly wake up after a lifetime of tidying up after yourself and then mistakenly, routinely, once you enter a gym start to fail to tidy up.
My actual "take the emotion out of it" idea is not to make sure everyone is mellow and we can all sit down in the daisies and have a sing song and a bit of a cry together. It's that it doesn't get to the stage where you've bottled your own emotions up to such an extent that you start name calling, punching, etc - calling people b*tches, for example - and generally acting like more of an inconsiderate *kitten* than the guy you're talking to. If someone gets called on their behaviour and gets their panties in a bunch, that's their problem - I've made a rational attempt to point out where they're going wrong.
I'm with you--nip bad behavior in the bud before it gets too established. That's just common sense from anyone who's raised kids, or trained animals.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I just meant you said you would have asked him to re-rack plainly without emotional charge. I don't think those words would be taken plainly without emotional charge.WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
Just a comment, nothing personal.
He's saying that he wouldn't be emotionally charged on his end. But by waiting until he's fuming about it, any attempt to address the situation will likely see his built up anger seep out no matter how civil he tries to be. How the other person takes it is up to them.
I have no idea why people think it's difficult to recognize new members or workers at the gym. It's maybe the easiest thing in the world to notice.
So you would go up to some trainer at the gym whom you think is new because he just started training a client while you're there a few weeks ago and open the conversation with, "dude, you're new here, so you probably don't know any better. But the rule here is we rerack our *kitten* when we've finished with it. Now you know the rule, I don't suppose you'll have any problem sticking to it?"
And you think that would come across as not emotionally charged? He sounds angry and judgmental to me, and like a know-it-all. Just my opinion.
I'm fine with every single word of this.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I just meant you said you would have asked him to re-rack plainly without emotional charge. I don't think those words would be taken plainly without emotional charge.WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
Just a comment, nothing personal.
He's saying that he wouldn't be emotionally charged on his end. But by waiting until he's fuming about it, any attempt to address the situation will likely see his built up anger seep out no matter how civil he tries to be. How the other person takes it is up to them.
I have no idea why people think it's difficult to recognize new members or workers at the gym. It's maybe the easiest thing in the world to notice.
So you would go up to some trainer at the gym whom you think is new because he just started training a client while you're there a few weeks ago and open the conversation with, "dude, you're new here, so you probably don't know any better. But the rule here is we rerack our *kitten* when we've finished with it. Now you know the rule, I don't suppose you'll have any problem sticking to it?"
And you think that would come across as not emotionally charged? He sounds angry and judgmental to me, and like a know-it-all. Just my opinion.
I'm fine with every single word of this.
Agreed.
And if the counter is "I'm not new, I've been here for a while," the reply is "then you should know better/how inconvenient it is when other members don't strip and rerack their weights."0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I just meant you said you would have asked him to re-rack plainly without emotional charge. I don't think those words would be taken plainly without emotional charge.WalkingAlong wrote: »How would you know who's "new here", too? I think most people would consider that offensive, from another gym-goer.
Guess I'm just offensive then.
I see something I don't like, I try to do something about it. If I didn't try, I have no right to complain or moan about it, do I?
The OP mentioned the trainer was new (last few months). I derived my info on the situation from the OP. Where did you get it from?
Just a comment, nothing personal.
He's saying that he wouldn't be emotionally charged on his end. But by waiting until he's fuming about it, any attempt to address the situation will likely see his built up anger seep out no matter how civil he tries to be. How the other person takes it is up to them.
I have no idea why people think it's difficult to recognize new members or workers at the gym. It's maybe the easiest thing in the world to notice.
So you would go up to some trainer at the gym whom you think is new because he just started training a client while you're there a few weeks ago and open the conversation with, "dude, you're new here, so you probably don't know any better. But the rule here is we rerack our *kitten* when we've finished with it. Now you know the rule, I don't suppose you'll have any problem sticking to it?"
And you think that would come across as not emotionally charged? He sounds angry and judgmental to me, and like a know-it-all. Just my opinion.
I'm fine with every single word of this.
Agreed.
And if the counter is "I'm not new, I've been here for a while," the reply is "then you should know better/how inconvenient it is when other members don't strip and rerack their weights."
I've been in at least 50 different gyms in the US. EVERY ONE of them had signs regarding reracking weights. It's not like it's something unusual.0
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