Longest time spent being single?

Scamd83

Curious, anyone willing to say the longest they've been single for? Did it ever get depressing or were you fine with it? It doesn't feel a particularly bad thing to me as I'm not really a people person to begin with. But I seem to be spammed everyday on social media by everyone else's happy love life so I wonder if I'm supposed to feel like more of an abnormality? It's weird because I see all this and it's like everyone else lives in this different world from me and I'm supposed to want to be part of it. But I don't get it at all.

katkins3

It's not just single people who get this spam. I'm 65, been married for 21 years and still get this kind of spam all the time. No, I don't want to meet cute girls from Russia! Ha

Scamd83

Sorry, by spam I meant genuine posts from real people on Facebook constantly saying how great their relationship is, etc. Technically not spam, but just my personal way of describing something that I get a lot of.

clh72569

Some people need to be with someone, anyone. Some people are totally fine being alone. You seem like someone who is confident being alone. Take joy in other peoples happiness and go on with your life. I have been single for 5 years after a divorce and am totally happy. Not dating, not seeking, go out with friends.

_Kitten_Kate

Scamd83 wrote: »

Curious, anyone willing to say the longest they've been single for? Did it ever get depressing or were you fine with it? It doesn't feel a particularly bad thing to me as I'm not really a people person to begin with. But I seem to be spammed everyday on social media by everyone else's happy love life so I wonder if I'm supposed to feel like more of an abnormality? It's weird because I see all this and it's like everyone else lives in this different world from me and I'm supposed to want to be part of it. But I don't get it at all.

My whole life...
Never been in a serious relationship.
I just chalk it up to.. God has a different plan for me.
Kinda sucks. But.. ??
Im not gonna force myself into a relationship or change who I am to be a part of the herd.

ValerieMartini2Olives

I was single for about 3 years once. But I was never alone or lonely.

jewelgal77

been single almost five years now, don't have any need to find someone, happy as is!! I've always been confused by movies that focus on finding someone, and people that have to rush into new relationships right away. I too, feel like I'm abnormal because it's just not a worry of mine. I've been married and loved it but not a concern to find anyone else.

AskTracyAnnK28

I haven't had a real boyfriend in almost 4 years during that 4 years I've been on countless bad dates, and dated 2 guys (each for about 2 months) and they both ghosted me.

I actually stopped going on Facebook because it was getting too damned depressing.

Scamd83

AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »

I haven't had a real boyfriend in almost 4 years during that 4 years I've been on countless bad dates, and dated 2 guys (each for about 2 months) and they both ghosted me.

I actually stopped going on Facebook because it was getting too damned depressing.

I've had three dates in the past 12 years, one was a blind date set up by someone and lead to another but after that no more contact. And another was a date in a coffee shop which lasted about 15 awkward minutes and wasn't followed up on either. It doesn't seem worth the effort for what you're hoping to get out of it. To be brutally honest I'd be more than happy with just seeing like minded people for nothing serious as and when is desired if I absolutely required human contact. Dates are a waste of time in my opinion.

anjr0berts

Being alone is perfectly fine, even if not the "norm." If you are not lonely and feel quite satisfied with your own company, don't fret. I have been divorced for twelve years. I have had one longer, more enduring relationship since then (immediately following my divorce).

I enjoy being single, and I like to date and meet new and interesting people (they are not always bubbling up to the surface, and I am very particular, but they do exist). I think it's even more the case now that I've let go of the idea that there has to be some kind of a romantic, traditional, fairy-take "end goal" to it. There doesn't have to be, not for me. I live in the moment - whether I am alone or sharing the moment with someone else. Live and make a choices to embrace your life as if you will have to re-live it over and over again for all of eternity, and you will not question it so much. There's nothing wrong with you

Scamd83

@anjr0berts I do feel satisfied with my own company but then again I have very little to compare that to. But at worst, it just means I'm blissfully ignorant. If I die and 'go toward the light' and someone is there to greet me and says "You would have had a happier life if you'd spent more time with more people" I'd just shrug my shoulders and be like "I was as happy as I needed to be." and then ask which part of the afterlife had the least amount of people in it.

salembambi

right now i have been single the longest i ever have

5 ish years, im not depressed about it really i mean i know i could easily find someone to date if i wanted to im just not that interested right now

pie_eyes

It's really hard being single for me. I need an anchor.

gronmu1

Meh be careful what you ask for

MJFSH

I have been married for 20+ years. seems like married people are thinking singles have most fun and singles are thinking married people have fun. I know most times I envy the fun my single friends have!

viren19890

I was in a relationship when I was 16 and that's it-now I'm 26 -and never had a relationship ever since.

I think the 16 year old was just infatuation cause we said I love you-to each other.

Not depressed about it or anything at all. Isolation could be a gift if you end up with the wrong person.

Never felt the "need" for a relationship

TheRoadDog

23 Years. I was born in 1954 and got married in 1977.

Scamd83

@MJFSH Many of my 'taken' friends keep telling me I'm better off being single, which makes me wonder why they aren't single.

@viren19890 I can't say I've ever been in a serious relationship in my life. Been in one which felt serious at the time, but now I look back I realise it really wasn't in the grand scheme of things. If I'm missing out on anything, I don't know what it is. But I guess it would be interesting to find out at least someday.

bubbles31282

I was single for nearly 4 years at one point. Im currently just dating. It seems as though there are not a lot of people looking for a serious relationship these days

VeryKatie

17 years is the longest. I was a child for a lot of that time.

Otherwise... something like 2 years between guys. But I never freaked out, I liked being single. And when I wanted to change it I changed it. Put some effort into getting myself out there and it worked like a charm every time. Love doesn't come to those who sit around and wait. You have to try. Because if you're not trying, then you're not paying attention. By this I don't mean getting all desperate about it though, not like movies).

Scamd83 wrote: »

Sorry, by spam I meant genuine posts from real people on Facebook constantly saying how great their relationship is, etc. Technically not spam, but just my personal way of describing something that I get a lot of.

This is never how I choose to express my love either and it isn't something I'll understand. I have to accept I won't understand it or else I just feel like everyone is faking it.

I'm married now and would never ever want to go back. Marriage is something that is forever, for me. Being married is the best thing in my life. And I can't even explain why.

MikeSanchez2323

Scamd83 wrote: »

Sorry, by spam I meant genuine posts from real people on Facebook constantly saying how great their relationship is, etc. Technically not spam, but just my personal way of describing something that I get a lot of.

I take this stuff with a grain of salt. A lot of times when I see a "happy" couple posting all the time on FB, the next thing I hear is that they are splitting up, so you know that things could not have really been that happy. The longest I have ever been single is 2 years, but it is always better to be single than to be in an unhappy relationship just to avoid being alone, which is what a lot of people do.

SoulOfRusalka

19 years and like 5 days. :P I didn't mind at all, even though it seemed like most of my friends had been in relationships before me. I think romantic relationships are very over-valued and close friendships under-valued in this society, and people forget the difference between being alone and being lonely. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single.

ald783

I think there are some people who always need to be in a relationship, others who struggle with relationships or monogamy or feel disconnected from dating, and then various tiers in between. It's pointless to stress over what other people are doing, or worse, what they claim to be doing/feeling based on social media posts. That said, I realize it is hard not to have days when you feel lonely. I've had several serious relationships but have also spent a lot of time single.

My take is that you can't force it and you can't make yourself continue to date someone you're not crazy about. I've also found that it's not enough for someone to just be a good stable person that treats me well if I don't feel a pretty strong connection to them. You need to just do what makes you happy, regardless of what the norm seems to be, on social media or otherwise.

size102b

I've always been in relationships so hence a 16 year one and a 9 year one aged 43
Then I realised I don't need to so I am now happy with the right person

jjejjtu

I was married for 16 years, and my divorce was just finalized on February 3rd. I can say that while I was technically not single, all that time being married to the wrong person was the longest and loneliest, not to mention the most frustrating, of my life, and I felt very single and alone. I suppose I have technically been single since he moved out last June, but really only legally single for a couple weeks. I am much happier now, on my own, free to be myself and live the way I want to. However, I do feel like at some point I'd be willing to try a relationship again. I recognize that my marriage didn't work because I married the wrong person, and am not bitter or opposed to relationships. Growing up I was taught that marriage was the ultimate goal. That's what my parents passed on to me. But I, personally, feel that having a happy life is the ultimate goal. Whether single or coupled. If I can make a relationship work with someone I really click with and who makes me happy, and who I can really communicate openly with, that would be nice, but otherwise I am just going to hang out here with my kids and put my time and energy into them.

yasminara

I like being single. No judgment whatever makes you happy. Been in long relationships and single for maybe a year?

maeld51

Married 35yrs, single the last 5,
I'm not cut out to be alone, hate it.

nicolethompson0715

I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

William4MVP

nicolethompson0715 wrote: »

I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

You make it sound like it's the most depressing thing ever to be single. Pathetic. I love being single.

nicolethompson0715

William4MVP wrote: »

nicolethompson0715 wrote: »

I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

You make it sound like it's the most depressing thing ever to be single. Pathetic. I love being single.

Hey itll be alright after at least a week geez.. lol right now im depressed lol

getsweaty123go

William4MVP wrote: »

nicolethompson0715 wrote: »

I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

You make it sound like it's the most depressing thing ever to be single. Pathetic. I love being single.

Well, you shouldn't really call out someone's feelings they're expressing as 'Pathetic'..

On the subject the longest I was single for was about 12 years. I realized one day, about 15 1/2 years ago now, that I had absolutely no clue what I really wanted in someone. I had never had a good male role model growing up. So I figured until I knew I wasn't ready. Turned out when I did go into a relationship I still went into the wrong one, lol.. Single again but grounded and happy.
It can be lonely and of course there's the lack of regular intimacy.. but there are good things too, like more time-and money for that matter, haha