Longest time spent being single?

24

Replies

  • SoulOfRusalka
    SoulOfRusalka Posts: 1,201 Member
    19 years and like 5 days. :P I didn't mind at all, even though it seemed like most of my friends had been in relationships before me. I think romantic relationships are very over-valued and close friendships under-valued in this society, and people forget the difference between being alone and being lonely. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single.
  • ald783
    ald783 Posts: 690 Member
    I think there are some people who always need to be in a relationship, others who struggle with relationships or monogamy or feel disconnected from dating, and then various tiers in between. It's pointless to stress over what other people are doing, or worse, what they claim to be doing/feeling based on social media posts. That said, I realize it is hard not to have days when you feel lonely. I've had several serious relationships but have also spent a lot of time single.

    My take is that you can't force it and you can't make yourself continue to date someone you're not crazy about. I've also found that it's not enough for someone to just be a good stable person that treats me well if I don't feel a pretty strong connection to them. You need to just do what makes you happy, regardless of what the norm seems to be, on social media or otherwise.
  • size102b
    size102b Posts: 1,370 Member
    I've always been in relationships so hence a 16 year one and a 9 year one aged 43
    Then I realised I don't need to so I am now happy with the right person
  • jjejjtu
    jjejjtu Posts: 1,324 Member
    I was married for 16 years, and my divorce was just finalized on February 3rd. I can say that while I was technically not single, all that time being married to the wrong person was the longest and loneliest, not to mention the most frustrating, of my life, and I felt very single and alone. I suppose I have technically been single since he moved out last June, but really only legally single for a couple weeks. I am much happier now, on my own, free to be myself and live the way I want to. However, I do feel like at some point I'd be willing to try a relationship again. I recognize that my marriage didn't work because I married the wrong person, and am not bitter or opposed to relationships. Growing up I was taught that marriage was the ultimate goal. That's what my parents passed on to me. But I, personally, feel that having a happy life is the ultimate goal. Whether single or coupled. If I can make a relationship work with someone I really click with and who makes me happy, and who I can really communicate openly with, that would be nice, but otherwise I am just going to hang out here with my kids and put my time and energy into them.
  • yasminara
    yasminara Posts: 247 Member
    I like being single. No judgment whatever makes you happy. Been in long relationships and single for maybe a year?
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
    Married 35yrs, single the last 5,
    I'm not cut out to be alone, hate it.
  • nicolethompson0715
    nicolethompson0715 Posts: 22 Member
    I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch
  • William4MVP
    William4MVP Posts: 166 Member
    nicolethompson0715 wrote: »
    I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

    You make it sound like it's the most depressing thing ever to be single. Pathetic. I love being single.
  • nicolethompson0715
    nicolethompson0715 Posts: 22 Member
    William4MVP wrote: »
    nicolethompson0715 wrote: »
    I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

    You make it sound like it's the most depressing thing ever to be single. Pathetic. I love being single.

    Hey itll be alright after at least a week geez.. lol right now im depressed lol
  • getsweaty123go
    getsweaty123go Posts: 53 Member
    edited February 2016
    William4MVP wrote: »
    nicolethompson0715 wrote: »
    I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

    You make it sound like it's the most depressing thing ever to be single. Pathetic. I love being single.

    Well, you shouldn't really call out someone's feelings they're expressing as 'Pathetic'..

    On the subject the longest I was single for was about 12 years. I realized one day, about 15 1/2 years ago now, that I had absolutely no clue what I really wanted in someone. I had never had a good male role model growing up. So I figured until I knew I wasn't ready. Turned out when I did go into a relationship I still went into the wrong one, lol.. Single again but grounded and happy.
    It can be lonely and of course there's the lack of regular intimacy.. but there are good things too, like more time-and money for that matter, haha
  • bflatimer
    bflatimer Posts: 3 Member
    I was fine living single after my wife passed four years ago, but then my mom passed away from breast cancer two years ago and my dad died of a sudden stroke this December. Even though my parents lived far from me, losing both of them put me in a strang and lonely place. I sometimes wonder if I died if anyone would truly miss me. Wow this is an awful subject who started this thread?
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,623 Member
    Single from late 2014 to present. Sometimes it sucks; most of the time it's fun.
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    OP, you've got the right idea. I read your profile and it says you only accept friend requests from people who live nearby who would have the intention of meeting you in real life. Smart move that was and it's good you're taking a stand and moving towards what you want. Mix and mingle in real life. Yay for that!

    @newmeadow Oh good, people can read that. I've been 'friends' with more than a few people on here and could just never see what I was getting out of it. Numbers on a website mean absolutely nothing to me, and I can interact with people I don't know on this forum. I'm not a people person but I know at least if I'm going to be friends with someone, it needs to be real.
  • humbled380
    humbled380 Posts: 251 Member
    I went 8 yrs no relationship no date and no sex, I was on a journey to learn who I was , learning how to be me! And thankfully I found myself and realize that I'm me for me , but not me from who I date they don't make me, I will say even though I enjoyed my time of solitude , I do enjoy a good cuddle or holding hands and the kissss
  • Madame_Goldbrick
    Madame_Goldbrick Posts: 73 Member
    I was (extremely) single for 4+yrs. Currently in a new relationship... Kinda forgot a lot about them suck! The grass is brown on both sides of the fence
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
    humbled380 wrote: »
    I do enjoy a good cuddle or holding hands and the kissss

    I completely forgot about that. Human contact is a cloud with a silver lining I guess.
  • ricktorres268
    ricktorres268 Posts: 7 Member
    Been single now about two years, at times its lonely. But I deal with it fine. I see those couple's to all in love, and at times I feel abnormal about it as well. But I also believe the generation we live in has lost the values of love and relationship. Most of the love you see on social media, is just a ripple in time. Here today and gone tomorrow. All for show. People are so quick to rush into a relationship, and now and days get out Just as fast. Me, I'm just waiting for that beautiful angle to show her face to me and make her my queen. No point rushing into anything, just wait for that right one.
  • lisa9805
    lisa9805 Posts: 303 Member
    I have been single for 5yrs now if u count last long term, or 2yrs since I dated anyone.
    Sometimes I miss having someone but I am focused on myself right now so it doesn't bother me as much. Plus I have kids so I'm never really lonely lol
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,895 Member
    William4MVP wrote: »
    nicolethompson0715 wrote: »
    I think a year... and I just broke up with my boyfriend on Friday... forgot what that feels like until now.. ouch

    You make it sound like it's the most depressing thing ever to be single. Pathetic. I love being single.

    She was referring the the pain of breaking up.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,895 Member
    bubbles31282 wrote: »
    I was single for nearly 4 years at one point. Im currently just dating. It seems as though there are not a lot of people looking for a serious relationship these days :neutral:

    I tried a bunch of dating sites over the years and had the best luck finding men interested in serious relationships on OKCupid.

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