Feminists and nonconformists - where do your goals come from?
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cristalball
Posts: 14 Member
How do you know if you are bowing to society's views and pressures to try to obtain the "ideal" body or if your goals are more internally and personally motivated? Or does it even matter? I ask because I'm not sure for my own goals and was curious about others.
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Because I want to be beautiful and healthy for myself.0
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As a very outspoken advocate against body-shaming, and a born and bred feminist, I can happily say that it's MY body and I'll make it look however I dam well please. If that happens to mimic societal beauty standards, so be it. I know what I want to look like. I know how I want to feel (energetic and happy). And uterus notwithstanding, I'm perfectly capable of making that decision in spite of the fashion industry.
I also really like clothes I find pretty. I like to feel pretty. I have no issue existing in both spheres and cannot comprehend why I shouldn't.
Being a feminist doesn't mean you have to stop caring what you look like. It means you don't let other people decide that for you. Whether that be some guy saying you're ugly because you don't meet his standard of sexual desirability (cause you are more than a sexual object) or some other woman saying you need to meet standards to be socially acceptable.0 -
I pretty much just want to be strong and healthy. What it looks like? Meh. But I'm old, so I may be an outlier.0
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One of the great failures of the feminist movement was convincing everyone that femininity (lipstick feminism as it's so degradingly named) is somehow inferior to masculinity and thus that we should abandon our femininity as though it were a burden or a waste or the thing that's holding us back from equality. Femininity IS feminist. The idea that it's something undesirable or inferior is anti-feminist.
tl;dr You can absolutely like pretty dresses and hair and makeup and being pretty and still be a feminist.0 -
Oh don't get me started on haes/fa taking over feminism....
Look, I know I'm influenced by the society I've been raised in when it comes to what I find aesthetically pleasing, and my preference for a slimmer look is informed by that. But I don't see the point in remaining overweight to somehow spite society, particularly when I value my health. I am undeniably fitter and healthier at a lower weight. I am stronger, faster, and more productive at a lower weight. I am raising two daughters and I plan to teach them how to use their bodies, that they can be just as fast and strong as the boys, that they don't need to be damsels sitting on the sidelines like they're so often taught. And I think being fitter and healthier makes me a better feminist, not a worse one, and a better role model to raise feminist daughters.
As far as looks go, as I said, sure, my ideals are informed by society (and also biology), but I'm also the type to not really care what others think about what I look like (my hair and clothing is certainly not standard where I live), and I dgaf what others look like either.
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CoffeeNCardio wrote: »As a very outspoken advocate against body-shaming, and a born and bred feminist, I can happily say that it's MY body and I'll make it look however I dam well please. If that happens to mimic societal beauty standards, so be it. I know what I want to look like. I know how I want to feel (energetic and happy). And uterus notwithstanding, I'm perfectly capable of making that decision in spite of the fashion industry.
I also really like clothes I find pretty. I like to feel pretty. I have no issue existing in both spheres and cannot comprehend why I shouldn't.
Being a feminist doesn't mean you have to stop caring what you look like. It means you don't let other people decide that for you. Whether that be some guy saying you're ugly because you don't meet his standard of sexual desirability (cause you are more than a sexual object) or some other woman saying you need to meet standards to be socially acceptable.
qft
although I've never been interested in fashion and I can only shop for about 20 minutes before I want to kill people
and strength training0 -
bendyourkneekatie wrote: »Oh don't get me started on haes/fa taking over feminism....
Look, I know I'm influenced by the society I've been raised in when it comes to what I find aesthetically pleasing, and my preference for a slimmer look is informed by that. But I don't see the point in remaining overweight to somehow spite society, particularly when I value my health. I am undeniably fitter and healthier at a lower weight. I am stronger, faster, and more productive at a lower weight. I am raising two daughters and I plan to teach them how to use their bodies, that they can be just as fast and strong as the boys, that they don't need to be damsels sitting on the sidelines like they're so often taught. And I think being fitter and healthier makes me a better feminist, not a worse one, and a better role model to raise feminist daughters.
As far as looks go, as I said, sure, my ideals are informed by society (and also biology), but I'm also the type to not really care what others think about what I look like (my hair and clothing is certainly not standard where I live), and I dgaf what others look like either.
Well stated.0 -
CoffeeNCardio wrote: »One of the great failures of the feminist movement was convincing everyone that femininity (lipstick feminism as it's so degradingly named) is somehow inferior to masculinity and thus that we should abandon our femininity as though it were a burden or a waste or the thing that's holding us back from equality. Femininity IS feminist. The idea that it's something undesirable or inferior is anti-feminist.
tl;dr You can absolutely like pretty dresses and hair and makeup and being pretty and still be a feminist.
That's absolutely true. As if it were a sign of equality to imitate masculinity. Women should become aware of their own strong points, and that doesn't mean physical strength. Women are - in their own way - so much stronger than men. The very fact that we are the "preserver" of mankind is a strong argument. Just let a man have a baby... Ugh ... no chance for mankind.... ;0) And, for all military feminists, having a baby is no shame or a sign of inferiority, that is what the male world wants to make us believe. And anyway, it's a such a stupid thought and a shame. I have a dream ... to face each other with respect. Then, and only then, mankind will be grown-up.0 -
HAES is unfortunately a lie
people shouldn't tell themselves lies
there is nothing wrong in a feminist considering themselves a sexual being0 -
HAES is unfortunately a lie
people shouldn't tell themselves lies
there is nothing wrong in a feminist considering themselves a sexual being
@rabbitjb Truth.
Not directed at Rabbit: When I made the comment about sexual objectification, it was about objectification. Accepting your own sexuality, owning it, and being comfortable with yourself as a being both capable of sex and who enjoys sex is the very opposite. A feminist embraces their sexuality without allowing others to define them by it.0 -
HAES is unfortunately a lie
people shouldn't tell themselves lies
there is nothing wrong in a feminist considering themselves a sexual being
There is nothing wrong with ANYBODY considering themselves a sexual being. I know I'm the wrong gender to be contributing to this thread, but I'm just replying as somebody who has resorted to experimenting with steroids in order to attempt to adhere to attractivness standards.
On a different note, some of THE most inspiring people I've met on my fitness journey have been the many female lifters on here. The way I see it, if a woman can succeed and flourish in what has been traditionally a male-dominated environment then she is obviously skilled at what she does. To me, that embodies feminism far more than the aims of the HAES movement.
Anyway, I've probably kicked a hornet's nest just by replying to this thread and being male, so I'll make a quick retreat!0 -
HAES is unfortunately a lie
people shouldn't tell themselves lies
there is nothing wrong in a feminist considering themselves a sexual being
There is nothing wrong with ANYBODY considering themselves a sexual being. I know I'm the wrong gender to be contributing to this thread, but I'm just replying as somebody who has resorted to experimenting with steroids in order to attempt to adhere to attractivness standards.
On a different note, some of THE most inspiring people I've met on my fitness journey have been the many female lifters on here. The way I see it, if a woman can succeed and flourish in what has been traditionally a male-dominated environment then she is obviously skilled at what she does. To me, that embodies feminism far more than the aims of the HAES movement.
Anyway, I've probably kicked a hornet's nest just by replying to this thread and being male, so I'll make a quick retreat!
A Feminist is someone who believes in and strives for equality across the genders. A man is just as capable of being a feminist as a woman. And any feminist who cannot tolerate male allies is not a feminist at all. I am sorry if you have experienced a bad reception in the past for this, cause that's not what feminism is about. Feminists marry men, date men, give birth to men, and in many happy circumstances ARE men.0 -
A Feminist is someone who believes in and strives for equality across the genders. A man is just as capable of being a feminist as a woman. And any feminist who cannot tolerate male allies is not a feminist at all. I am sorry if you have experienced a bad reception in the past for this, cause that's not what feminism is about. Feminists marry men, date men, give birth to men, and in many happy circumstances ARE men.[/quote]
Agreed!0 -
Thanks!
It looks like I've been exposed to too much Tumblr!! 0 -
I don't want to look like a Victoria's Secret model, for real. I don't even understand why that's 'the look'. I do like a look that lots of people like, but you don't have to go opposite of what the 'standards' dictate, imho.
And for both women and men, I really like a lot of natural variation. I hate how everything is so damned similar in magazines, etc. And the natural variation part comes easily for some of us, lol. I won't ever have to worry about being mistaken for a perfect specimen of female beauty
So that's one way to handle it; even if you tried to achieve 'perfection' there'll probably be parts that just don't quite fit, and that's still great.0 -
HAES pisses me off. Obesity causes plenty of problems. Something like 50 - 80% of women who suffer from PCOS, for example, are obese. Coincidence? Diabetes. Knee problems. Back pain. I don't want to be obese. End of. The ideal body is not one with excess bodily fat.0
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HAES is unfortunately a lie
people shouldn't tell themselves lies
there is nothing wrong in a feminist considering themselves a sexual being
There is nothing wrong with ANYBODY considering themselves a sexual being. I know I'm the wrong gender to be contributing to this thread, but I'm just replying as somebody who has resorted to experimenting with steroids in order to attempt to adhere to attractivness standards.
On a different note, some of THE most inspiring people I've met on my fitness journey have been the many female lifters on here. The way I see it, if a woman can succeed and flourish in what has been traditionally a male-dominated environment then she is obviously skilled at what she does. To me, that embodies feminism far more than the aims of the HAES movement.
Anyway, I've probably kicked a hornet's nest just by replying to this thread and being male, so I'll make a quick retreat!
truth
.. and the kind of person who does not want a 'male' to have an opinion or self-define as a feminist by virtue of their being a 'male' can simply not be a defined as a feminist... the word one would be looking for there would be tw@t0 -
My goals come from wanting to be healthy. Diabetes and heart disease runs in the family. It just so happens that the way to combat this for me is through weight loss.
I also agree with the majority of posts above, if you want to look a certain way and it happens to agree with society as long as you don't impose it on other people then, in my opinion, that's a healthy attitude and feminist too.0 -
Societal: I want to be able to fit decently into the clothes I like. I could reject this and say clothes should fit me and not the other way around, blah blah blah but it is what it is
Personal: Being the stronger, fitter person means I'm the one they call on when a tough job requiring stamina needs to be completed, because I'll get it done, no excuses. At a larger body size I was still this person, but it got increasingly difficult and I couldn't output as much on demand as I wanted. Fitness, specifically, does mean I can do what I want, when I want, and that's empowering to me0 -
I'm a non-conformist in lots of ways and most definitely a feminist. I am also feminine, love to be feminine and all that comes with it. I am also pretty vain, always have been whatever my size.
I have a passion for history and clothing and buy a lot of vintage. Vintage is generally small, being smaller means I can fit into more pretties.
The thing that kick started me was my health starting to be impacted by my weight. I'm where I thought I would stop initially but my goals have changed and I just want to be hot now! Not for anyone else but me. I want to look in the mirror and see a physically strong and capable woman. I want to see less wobble and dimples. I think that partly comes from my mental health too (or lack thereof), my body and aesthetic is something I can control.
Anyone can be a feminist, all genders, all interests. Feminism does not and should not mean burning bras (my bewbs need all the support they can get thanks) and hairy armpits if that's not your jam.0
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