My boyfriend is 12 years older than me. Do guys want kids quite soon after marriage?
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MiloBloom83 wrote: »Capt_Apollo wrote: »what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.
Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.
According to the dating formula, you are too young to date him. His minimum dating age is 22. The only way he is having a baby with you is if he knocks you up. Enjoy being his fling that he doesn't have to take out anywhere because you're too young to get in.
Btw, my sister-in-law married my brother when she was 18, met him when she was 17. They are 17 years apart. Within our religion, we don't eat meat, have illicit sex, gamble, or have any kind of intoxicants.
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I would think the only reason to get married at 18 would be to get having kids over with early in life and then be done with it. By the time you'd be in your mid to late thirties, your kids would be grown. You could then get educated to train for the work of your choice, graduate, start your chosen career and commit to it without interrupting the professional process to do part-time parenthood. This way you're completely committed to mothering for the first 20 years or so, and then after that you'll have the freedom to be completely committed to education and career, if that's what you want. But like others mentioned, just talk about it with your future husband.
Interesting! Less time for investment growth though. Could mean a lot of lost money doing it that way.0 -
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Krishnaya108 wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »Really? This is a conversation to have with HIM not internet nobodies.....
I just like to see the variety of responses I get and different people's perspectives.
Other peoples percpective does not matter. This is a personal matter for you to discuss with your boyfriend not with complete strangers. What is right for one person is not for the other.
If they matter to her, they matter. And she's here on a discussion forum to discuss it. Seems okay to me. What she actually does is her business and will probably stay that way. In the meantime, she's open to listening to the rest of us.
You're right. I ultimately will make my own choices but it doesn't hurt to see what people say about this.
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Capt_Apollo wrote: »Krishnaya108 wrote: »Capt_Apollo wrote: »what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.
Within the religion we're in, we don't drink any alcohol.
you are missing my point. what can a thirty year old and an eighteen year old really have in common?
A few kids of course.
We've talked about these things for a year now. His maturity level matches mine. We like a lot of the same stuff including music artists, movies, going out, and a lot of other stuff.0 -
Char231023 wrote: »Op how long have y'all been together? In my experience if you haven't been with him for very long you might end up freaking him out with all the plans you have in store for him. Have you discussed the marriage and kids issue with him? Is he aware of your long term plans for him? Has he proposed to you?
We have been together for a year. We openly talk about getting married. We're not sure when but know that we have to discuss other matters before we both decide we seriously want to be with each other.0 -
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Personally, I wouldn't want to be one of those dudes in retirement with a high school kid...that would suck some major *kitten*. I didn't want kids early, but I also didn't want them late either.
Also, I can't imagine what I would possibly have had in common with basically a kid when I was in my early 30s...what kind of religion is this where old dudes are marrying kids?0 -
caroldavison332 wrote: »1. I never wanted kids even though I was married. After divorce I thought I wanted them when I met who I thought was Mr. Right who had a son and daughter. It didn't work out, and eventually I didn't want any and at 55 am happily free to do whatever I want.
2. An 18 year old and a 30 year are not likely to have a long term relationship. If you ask me, 18 is too young to think about having children. Don't you want to go to college, become established in your career, and backpack across Europe? Why is someone as old as your boyfriend interested in someone who just became a woman? At 36 I considered a 48 year old, but he made lots of selfish, stupid decisions that his friends warned him away from. The friends' behavior, and his conduct, warned me against HIM.
My sister-in-law met my brother when she was 17. They've been married for about 12 years. They are 17 years apart and have 3 kids. She did have her 1st kid about 2 years after marriage though. My boyfriend and I have known each other for 8 years. Even when I was younger, I had a huge crush on him but he never knew.
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michaela_g09 wrote: »I don't think OP is liking the rest of these responses. Girl if you are asking some of the questions that you are, you clearly are too young to be considering making a big decision like marriage
I'm not making the decision right now. There's a lot of other things to consider. I personally wanted to see what other people thought on this matter.
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cwolfman13 wrote: »Personally, I wouldn't want to be one of those dudes in retirement with a high school kid...that would suck some major *kitten*. I didn't want kids early, but I also didn't want them late either.
Also, I can't imagine what I would possibly have had in common with basically a kid when I was in my early 30s...what kind of religion is this where old dudes are marrying kids?
It's not the religion. My sister-in-law met my brother when she was 17. They've been married for about 12 years. They are 17 years apart and have 3 kids. She did have her 1st kid about 2 years after marriage though. My boyfriend and I have known each other for 8 years. Even when I was younger, I had a huge crush on him but he never knew.0 -
when i was 18 i dated someone 10 years older than me
what a moron i was0 -
I think I'll just back out now, OP. You have been dating this guy for a while without your parents knowing yet your just turned legal age of consent for someone that much older than you in most states so you know there was something wrong or you wouldn't have hid it for so long. So no, I'm just going to say good luck with that .0
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This speaks volumes about him...
His maturity level matches mine.
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Wheelhouse15 wrote: »I think I'll just back out now, OP. You have been dating this guy for a while without your parents knowing yet your just turned legal age of consent for someone that much older than you in most states so you know there was something wrong or you wouldn't have hid it for so long. So no, I'm just going to say good luck with that .
Exactly. She says she has known him for 8 yrs ( she would've been 10? When she met him ) and that their maturity level matches one another. So yeah, I'm backing out slowly..0 -
Krishnaya108 wrote: »Capt_Apollo wrote: »Krishnaya108 wrote: »Capt_Apollo wrote: »what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.
Within the religion we're in, we don't drink any alcohol.
you are missing my point. what can a thirty year old and an eighteen year old really have in common?
A few kids of course.
We've talked about these things for a year now. His maturity level matches mine.
If a 30+ year old man's maturity level matches an 18 year old girl's... Run.
I am a 31 year old female and most 30 year old men's maturity levels are nowhere near mine. I would never consider dating any "man" (boy) under 25. You clearly need a lot of growing up to do... Or he does. Not really sure which.0 -
Hearts_2015 wrote: »]
This speaks volumes about him...
His maturity level matches mine.
I meant to say that I match his maturity levels.
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My husband is 11 years older than I am. He was 42 when our daughter was born. Age was never an issue. Not sure why you're making it into one.0
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Hearts_2015 wrote: »]
This speaks volumes about him...
His maturity level matches mine.
Yeah, when I was 20 I dated a 35 year old whose maturity level matched mine. It was not the material for a long term relationship. *I* would have probably been ready for kids before he was, so maybe you have the question backward, OP!0
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