So you just woke up one day and...

bmayes2014

I'm not the OP but I found reading these posts very useful. I also decided not to give up - ever. EVER. I must admit, sometimes I wonder to myself...how do people do this everyday? How will I do this everyday?? This post was encouraging and answered that question. thanks!!

brb_2013

It doesn't just magically happen. You build momentum each day.

I have been "on and off" this wagon hundreds of time. Sometimes I'm only "on" for a day. Sometimes a week. But what I have learned so far is that I was always jumping in too deep too quick. Basically I can't go from binge eating 3000 calories a day to a 1200 calorie diet with an hour of exercise daily.

Right now I'm not even logging. Right now, I would say I have mastered my work hours. I eat a meal at lunch that would be considered healthy and light by most people's definition. My struggles are weekends and evenings, basically I don't have much self control at home. So I've made a few basic rules for my behavior that will hopefully build some skills in resistance but not overly restrict myself. I still want to eat spaghetti. But now my rule states half my plate has to be some form of non-starch veggie. Then at least I still get what I want for dinner, but I'm restricted from a full plate of just carbohydrates. That's a small change for me, one I can manage (at least for two days I have!). I also am no longer allowed to eat after 8pm. I tried to make the rule "No more evening snacks" but in some level that just felt too unfair. Too many what ifs! But a time deadline is one I can handle, I go to bed at 9. So it just makes sense not to eat right before bed. I've also moved dinner back, so that I eat at 7 and am still satisfied at bed time but not too full.

Last months activity goal was 3 days of 30 minutes of movement, any kind! This made it more fun than saying I have to go for a walk 3x. A walk doesn't always sound fun, but my wii games usually do even on my laziest of days.


Sorry to go on so long. But this was what I needed: to realize it does NOT just "happen", it's a process that we can't rush and that is all about personal growth and getting to know yourself.

lgoldfarb

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?

I joined MFP in Feb 2012. I really just started using in on Jan 1st 2016. I started and stopped so many times. It took me 4 years to really want to make a change. I've lost 5.8 lbs in 9.5 weeks. I feel so good that I'm finally taking care of myself. Start with one thing at a time. I started with my food, preping my food for the week gave me no excuses to go through the drive through. Then I added in consistent exercise. This will be my first week on my new work out schedule of 5 days a week.

gramarye

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?

Not exactly.

I woke up one day and realized I wasn't paying any attention to what I was eating, and I was finally unhappy enough to really consider what I was doing wrong. So I started with just logging to see what was going on. From there, I took out the easy things. Then I took on the more challenging aspects. I did it bit by bit, with plenty of fits and stops. The whole of last year I probably only really logged a third of the days, and only lost maaaybe five pounds, between the first of the year and the end of the year. But I proved to myself that even when it's a rough year, I can still hold out and keep my weight down.

You just keep trying, and treat yourself kindly along the way. I found that for me, the process has to go "appreciate myself" > "feel good about myself" > "meet my calorie and exercise goals." When I start to let negative self-image and poor self-confidence sneak in (also, when my mental health goes bad), calories rarely line up.

You'll find something that works for you. Until then, you just have to sort of work through the self-doubt, and trust yourself.

Char231023

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

malibu927 wrote: »

Five pounds in a month is a great loss, at a bit over a pound a week.

I told myself that it was going to take a long time. I figured eighteen months to my goal at the time. In reality, I've been at this since January 2014 and have been off track for the past 8-9 months, so I'm only now buckling down. But I've learned what works for me (moderation) and what doesn't (restriction).

Have you read this thread? https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

None of that is new information for me... Honestly I don't think there is any "new" information. 5lbs a month isn't enough for someone at my size.

I obviously just don't care enough about myself to do better.

That statement screams feel sorry for me. In reality most of the people giving you great advise that you "already know" have been exactly where you are. Feeling like its not going to happen for them and feeling like giving up. Guess what they didn't, and they didn't feel that everybody should feel sorry for them. They sucked it up and did the work.

Then you claimed nobody had any empathy. What did you expect? I get having a bad day, but this isn't a place where you are going get a pity party.

nordlead2005

Yes and No. I wanted to lose weight for months and was trying an unsustainable diet my wife was a fan of at the time and while it worked I always quit and regained everything (it had a brutal week of super low calories for a man and it was the reason I always quit after a few rounds).

However, one day I did wake up and decided that I was going to do a sustainable diet and found MFP (I used a different website years ago and for some reason forgot the science behind the weight loss), started eating to my calorie goal, and not once have I deviated from the plan in 40 weeks. However, my plan isn't set in stone. It has some flexibility and I recognize that I don't want to eat to lose weight every day of every week. I took "diet breaks" when on week long vacations or work travel. I'm now down 49.5lb and have had multiple weeks where I lost 0lb, either due to water weight fluctuation or just eating to maintenance. The most important thing is that I don't mindlessly eat. Everything I eat I weigh the cost/benefit and make a decision. Even just last night I grabbed a chicken nugget from my kids plate, almost ate it and then put it back because I decided I'd rather have a bite of birthday cake left over from his party the day before.

kshama2001

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

malibu927 wrote: »

Five pounds in a month is a great loss, at a bit over a pound a week.

I told myself that it was going to take a long time. I figured eighteen months to my goal at the time. In reality, I've been at this since January 2014 and have been off track for the past 8-9 months, so I'm only now buckling down. But I've learned what works for me (moderation) and what doesn't (restriction).

Have you read this thread? https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

None of that is new information for me... Honestly I don't think there is any "new" information. 5lbs a month isn't enough for someone at my size.

I obviously just don't care enough about myself to do better.

Then this is what you need to change first. Are you in therapy? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is especially useful for food issues. I used CBT techniques to stop abusing alcohol and they work for food as well.

DearestWinter

For me it was a gradual awakening. I became aware that I was heavier than I should be but I didn't want to deal with it. Maybe I tried but then failed. Then one day I decided I wanted to do something about it. My biggest issue has always been a failure to be consistent about logging/weighing and eating properly, so that first day I set up a very detailed spreadsheet of different goals with rewards associated. I have goals for eating at least 3 meals a day, goals for logging food every day in MFP, goals for eating less sugar, goals for regularly weighing in, goals to drink more water, goals to not eat after 9pm, etc. These are all goals that are fairly easy to accomplish. I never make goals that are incongruous with who I am. I already drink water but sometimes I don't drink enough so I just have a goal to drink more. I don't go to spin class so I would never make a goal to go to spin class because that's just not something I do even though it may be something I SHOULD do. My goals are basically making me show up and stay accountable. I get an A for effort.

It is, strangely, helpful for me to have a lot of things I'm working towards at once because it ensures it's a more complex process that I have to pay attention to throughout the day. If I just relied on MFP then I'll forget to log. If I'm using my spreadsheet to track various (small and simple) goals throughout the day then it'll be on my mind regularly. This is what works for me but everyone needs to find their own means of motivation.

As for your loss - 5 lbs is great but I understand the frustration of working hard towards a goal and wishing all of that effort paid off more quickly. I've never been a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person. I want to see results immediately. Unfortunately that doesn't work when it comes to weight loss, so I settle for tracking everything else to distract myself and celebrating any victories that come more quickly.

100df

Francl27 wrote: »

I didn't 'just wake up one day'. It took me months and months to prepare myself mentally to actually change my lifestyle, and not just eat less for a few months to lose weight. But that's why I stuck to it... I was actually ready.

I'd say that 99% of people who try to lose weight just don't see the big picture and don't really realize what it entails to lose weight and maintain that loss. So they give up as soon as soon as it gets harder than they thought. You got to realize when you start that you'll never be able to eat the same way again, that you'll probably still have to restrict yourself after you lose the weight, that some months you won't lose as much as others, but telling yourself that even if the scale doesn't show up, you're getting healthier and stronger.

I agree with this. I try to view counting calories as the change. I have weight to lose so I am eating at a deficit. Once I reach goal, nothing is going to change really except I will have a few more calories to eat. It really is going to be a "few" or I will gain. Sucks but it is what it is. As much as I love to eat, I want a healthy BMI more.

Of course I would love to lose more than 5 lbs a month and am happy when I do. However, I have to really restrict to make it happen. I am too much of a wimp to make it happen all the time. It's too hard for me. My buttercup doesn't want it enough.

My motivation comes and goes. I think that's normal. If I do overeat, I don't sweat it much as long as I log it and get right back to it the next time I eat.. If I am having a hard time for several weeks in a row I will switch to maintenance for a week for a break. That kind of helps.

RoseTheWarrior

iecreamheadaches wrote: »

Dedication.
Self Discipline.
Self Control
Motivation
Inspiration

Its all about your mindset.

^This.

LuckyAndi

I did wake up one day and say "that's it, I'm losing weight". And I did for the first month - 6 whole pounds. Then the excitement wore off, I was hungry all the time, and one night I had the house to myself and ate until I couldn't anymore. That happened several times for the next three months. I decided that I loved food too much to give it up like I had tried to do. I lowered my weight loss goal to 1lb a week, but still went over by 200-300 calories each day. I was happy and satisfied, though.

So I figured 1500-1700 calories is my happy place, and I can still lose weight there. It's not 1lb a week, maybe .5 or .75 a pound, but it has added up. I'm no longer in the obese category, my clothes are fitting so much better, and I can walk 4 miles in an hour.

I had to realize that it wasn't going to happen as quickly as the math told me it would. I wasn't going to lose 50lbs in 6 months. I had a moment (or 12) of "why am I bothering then?". The answer was because I already felt better, I had more energy, and my boyfriend didn't have rolls of fat to run his fingers between anymore. You're going to have bad days, possibly more than good days, but you'll pick yourself up and start over the next day. You will.

RoseTheWarrior

I don't think what iecreamheadaches posted is mean. It's what works. It really is all in the mindset. If you're determined to get from point A to point B, then you will make it happen. You have to really want it, because it's hard. None of us just woke up and were thin. We've put dedication into every day; we've turned down things we wanted. I know that sometimes you just need to vent. I get that. But it's all up to you. I think the people who are successful really made the choice, to stop giving up, and to just keep going. Slow progress is still progress. You lost 5 lbs in a month, and thought it wasn't good. Why? It was 5 lbs!!

It's all a learning process, and a growing process. You CAN do it. You CAN stick to it. You just have to want it bad enough.

JenHuedy

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped?

Pretty much.

But I started by just eating just a little less. And moving a little more. Then trying to do just a tiny bit better every day.

I ate the same foods, just watched the portions. By tracking, I could decide which calories were worth keeping (Sanders dark chocolate salted caramels) and which were not (cheese on sandwiches). Gradually I got better and finding foods that filled me up and satisfied me physically and mentally.

I also started moving more. I decided I would walk on my treadmill every day before work - but I gave myself permission to stop after 20 minutes. Once I had the habit of moving every day, it was easy to gradually increase the time and the speed and incline to make it harder.

I was willing to try anything once, but gave myself permission to quit if I didn't like it. Ellipticals and fitness classes - big fat no. C25K and Stronglifts YES!

If the sedentary 230 pound me had started out working out 45-90 minutes a day, 6 days a week and weighing every morsel of food she would have given up after a month. But gradual changes over less than 2 years turned me into someone who weighs 140 pounds, can barbell squat her bodyweight and run 20 miles a week. (and LOVES it!)

cwolfman13

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?

I think first off, a re-examination of expectations is in order. Losing 5 Lbs in a month is solid weight loss...unfortunately, it doesn't happen like it does on "reality" t.v. When you extrapolate that out, you're looking at being 60 Lbs down in a years time...that may or may not actually happen, but suffice it to say, that staying consistent is ultimately going to result in you shrinking...the time is going to pass either way. Losing weight is a very slow process and you need to wrap your head around that and get on board with that reality.

Secondly, no...I didn't just wake up one day and do a 180* on my way to being healthy and fit. I spent a good couple of years seeing pictures of myself and thinking, "I really should do something about my weight." I spent a good couple of years loathing how I felt physically because I was so out of shape and things I used to enjoy doing like hiking or simply walking the dog were a chore...and I would try little things here and there but I wasn't consistent with anything and figured it was all just too hard and not in my destiny.

I didn't get serious about anything until I was 38 and went in for my annual examination and blood work...it basically put the fear in me as my blood work indicated that I was very much on the same path as my dad went down...the path towards type II diabetes, heart disease, kidney failure, and metabolic syndrome. My dad passed away at the ripe old age of 62...at 38 years old I had a then 1 year old and a 3 y.o....heading down the path I was heading was bleak at best and wasn't really going to allow me to watch my boys become men...or to retire and spend time with my wife traveling and enjoying a later years. The path I was heading down would have had me very sick at best in my early 60s, if not dead...and that simply was not an acceptable outcome in my book.

I didn't really start off with losing weight being my primary objective...I was right on the borderline of overweight to obese but I really didn't have a lot of focus on that...I was primarily concerned with reversing my bad blood work...and if you think losing weight is slow, reversing *kitten* blood work is incredibly so. I started out primarily researching nutrition and how to basically eat to live...and I took baby steps...my diet didn't change overnight...I made mini goals for myself like today I'm going to eat at least 4 servings of vegetables and 2 servings of fruit...and today I'm not going to drink a soda...but I'll allow myself one on Wednesday (just as examples). As far as exercise, I started out just walking a lot...it was a chore because I was very out of shape and I was also a 2 PAD smoker (or more...which I also quit at this same time). Not only was this difficult, but it was also a little depressing because once upon a time I was a pretty damned good athlete and struggling to walk my dog around the block was just a constant reminder as to how far I'd let myself tumble. But I walked, and I walked, and I walked until I was walking at least an hour most days.

Eventually this became easier and I started thinking about upping the ante and signed myself up for a 5K and started a program designed to train me for that. I did the run and I sucked...I was slow as *kitten*...but I ran the whole thing and slowly but surely I started to feel a bit of my old self coming back into being. I continued to run and ultimately joined a gym to get back into the weight room (mind you, I'm a good 4-5 months into things by now). For the first time ever I followed an established program in the weight room and I kind of fell in love with it.

Over the ensuing weeks and months, my fitness continued to improve...my diet continued to improve...I lost some weight, and more importantly, I started to see substantial changes in my overall blood work. I can still remember leaving my doctors office after my 2nd of 12 week mandated visits for blood work weeping with joy because my blood work now was just bad (but dramatically improved) and not a total *kitten* show...I was weeping because I knew I was getting my life back...I was weeping because I knew I was doing the things I needed to do to be a good father and husband and they were paying dividends.

This was all going on about 3.5 years ago and I've come quite far in my little life safari. Just a few short years ago I struggled to walk my dog around the block...now I cycle a good 80 - 100 miles per week. My nutritional profile is like night and day from where I was. My blood work is now optimal on all measures vs. "you're gonna die" just a few short years ago. And in the process I happened to lose a good chunk of weight and now sit at around 12% BF which relative to the population of other 41 year olds I know and see around town...well, I'm doing pretty good.

But no...none of that happened overnight. There was no magical switch to flip. Ultimately it came down to me deciding what I wanted to do with myself and then dedicating myself to that desire and following through with discipline and consistency. The interesting thing about it all is that it does eventually become second nature...you develop these habits and eventually you don't really think about it much anymore...but again, that doesn't happen overnight...it takes work...it takes discipline...it takes consistency.

stevencloser

well, uhm... yeah. That's how it went for me. I decided I wanted to lose so I went ahead and did.
Read up on how to do it, what's good macro ratios, came here and put everything in, got a gym membership and crushed it.
It needs motivation at the start which has to become routine and second nature before your motivation runs out.

rsclause

I feel that thinking of this as on or off again is not the best mind set. I think of it a a lifestyle change. I mean you can't do this and go back to the behavior that brought us all together in the first place. Yes this is all well and good but I have put 20 pounds back on. My eating is under control but my beer drinking is up and my running is down. The difference is I know I "can" lose it because I have before. Its spring and I am going to get it in gear and do it again.

And yes, I did just decide that I am going to do this.....right after my son asked "when is it due" pointing to my beer gut. I had no idea that it was even possible until the scale and my waist started showing improvement.

Lextmg86

I did wake up one day and realize I needed a change but at that time I had no idea how to. I researched, tried different things and through trial and error found out what works for me.

rankinsect

How I do it:
1. Make the smallest changes that will get me to my goals. I don't do restrictive diets, my exercise is around the hours per week, and I made a system so it's easy to do the right thing.
2. Habits. My best habit is planning my meals for the next day in advance and logging them. Makes it easy to stay on track.
3. Don't focus too much on it. Planning meals is like brushing my teeth - something I do, but not something I dwell upon. The more you can get your diet to run on autopilot the better.

stealthq

I pretty much did. Actually, I was putting my jeans on in the morning and thinking they were way tighter than they ought to be. Got irritated at the thought of buying another pair and decided enough was enough.

Found MFP that day and never looked back. That's not to say I didn't have bad days or 'special' days like parties where I didn't worry about calorie limits. But I never thought of stopping trying to lose before I was happy with my weight - and I didn't have a goal weight, really. Just went until I didn't think I'd benefit much from continuing (and I was below middle healthy BMI range). Then my focus shifted to fitness.

And now I'm losing again because I decided I don't want to settle for being a healthy weight, I want to be in the athletic category. We'll see how that goes. It sure is slow.

bubbajoe1066

Jenn, I truly understand and can empithize with you. I have well over 100 lbs to lose...wellll.. now its 62 lbs. since the day after Xmas i have lost a total of 38 lbs... yes i did wake up and say enough is enough... actually it was a photo on my great nephew sitting on my lap Xmas eve.. i did not recognize the fat guy sitting in that picture. the very next day i took charge of my life. signed up here ,got myself a fitbit and started. Its not easy, in fact next to quitting smoking (16yrs) this is one of the most difficult things i have taken on. But i'm doing it, one day at a time. .. we didn't put the weight on in one day and it will not come off in one day or one month .. it is a process a journey... you have to want it.. you have to work at it.. we are going to have bad days or even bad weeks.. but we must get back up and try again.... I'm 55 and if i can do it so can you. you really can. trust me.this works... this place is full of really great people more than willing to help... but we have to meet them half way.

YOU REALLY CAN DO THIS JENN!!!! start today... log your food... every single bite... eat at a deficit ... and move.. doesn't matter what you do just move...every day... and every day push yourself a little more... me, i walk... could barley do the 10 k steps recommend on fitbit.. now i'm doing over 15 k per day... some days really suck.. but i get up and push. no one else can do it for me...or you... take control ,take charge and try