Embarassing Moments with Children
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On vacation with the kids, then aged 7 and 5, in the middle of a restaurant they start singing at the top of their lungs:
♫ ♪ When you've got nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea...Pepto Max! ♫ ♪0 -
i am kidless and will that way......
as a youngster, maybe 5. was at my grandmothers house as she had her church group over to play cards. i had asked if they wanted to hear any jokes. when they said yes, i proceeded with the following:
whys a fire truck red? if someone was pulling your hose all day youd be red too
whys a pool table green? if someone was racking your balls all night youd be green too
everyone thought gram was to young to have a stroke.....
was at dinner with my friend and her daughter. since the daughter wouldnt eat i challenged her to a race who could eat their food the fastest. if she won, i would buy her ice cream at dairy queen.
i let her win so ice cream it was. walking back to the car everyones all happy especially the little one when she missteps on a speedbump. down she goes, ice cream and all. she starts crying and in perfect sync with the moments between sobs she farts. loudly. i immediately start laughing as the couple who were sitting outside looked at me like i was the most terrible parent on earth0 -
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When my sons were 4 and 1 (now they are 24 and 21) we were in Montgomery Ward and I was trying to find a dress and my oldest was pushing his little brother around in the stroller. He ran into a rack of clothes knocking it over into another rack of clothes and taking it out, too!! I can laugh now, but i was crying that day!! lol0
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I'm all for teaching children the proper, scientific name of body parts and taking away the silly taboo of one's body, but I'm not too sure I want my kid using my body as their point of reference nor experimenting with it. I think it's kind of inappropriate, especially if there isn't a conversation and explanation about the body and the correct way to act with others. I don't get why parents shower with their kids in the first place, but I know plenty that do. No judgment. Just not my cup of tea"aloud to touch it"???????????????? REALLY???????????
Dear God............what is wrong with you??????? Please report this person; this screams "grooming".
While i appreciate the concern and im sure my daughters father enjoys being painted as a child molester i can tell you with out a doubt there was no hidden meaning behind my daughters story other than she had a bath with her dad...end of story.
So you're ok with her bathing with him AND touching his penis? I don't get it. How is that ok???
Yes i am fine with my daughter who was pre school at the time having a bath with her father, the touching was a non event, a pointed curious finger corrected by her dad. But in her mind made a great argument as to why she should be able to see my husbands.
Although im not with my daughters father anymore i trust that he is not a child abuser, and i know my daughter well enough to know that there has never been anything sinister going on.
I feel sorry for fathers who feel they can't share a bath with their children for fear of accusations, i shower with my toddler frequently yet nobody has shouted child abuse when he points or pokes at my boob.
ETA: I have a 2-year-old.0 -
I quoted the wrong thing. Whoops.0
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I let my sister in law watch my son when he was like ... 2 years old maybe a little younger. We had all been sitting in the livingroom chatting for a while and he ran off into the play room, or so we thought. When he comes back hes dragging my sister in laws vibrator across the floor then he looks up sweetly and hands it to me and says "thank you" I don't know who was more embarrassed me or her lol0
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My kids are 20, 15 and 13, When my 20 year old was 2, she was learning the names of body parts, and she would tell me "I see your nose/eyes/lips/etc. Mommy" One day we were in the grocery store, she was in the cart and she very loudly exclaimed "I see your boobies Mommy!"0
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I'm all for teaching children the proper, scientific name of body parts and taking away the silly taboo of one's body, but I'm not too sure I want my kid using my body as their point of reference nor experimenting with it. I think it's kind of inappropriate, especially if there isn't a conversation and explanation about the body and the correct way to act with others. I don't get why parents shower with their kids in the first place, but I know plenty that do. No judgment. Just not my cup of tea
ETA: I have a 2-year-old.
I never planned to bath with my kids either. I didn't have a choice with my 2nd one, she was terrified of the bathtub and ktichen sink from the first time she saw the tub drain. From 6 months old she was convinced all the toys were going to disappear, even though she could see her big sister was just fine. The ONLY way to wash her was for me to shower with her, and to hold her the whole time, and make sure nothing was on the floor of the shower. That lasted about 6 months or so. She still is leery about water deeper than her waist, and she is almost 8 (although she loves to play in water, I can't keep her out of it, go figure). Sometimes parents have to deal with things as best they can, in a way that works for them. :flowerforyou:
That being said, my husband has not been comfortable with being naked around his girls pretty much from the time they started moving on their own, although there have been a few accidental exposure along the way! :blushing:
For parents who's kids haven't gotten there yet, you will get your chance to get them back. When they hit puberty and start to understand what is really going on behind closed doors, and what their favorite songs are REALLY about - well I tell ya, it is SOOOOO much fun to embarass them back! Gotta love payback! :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I'm all for teaching children the proper, scientific name of body parts and taking away the silly taboo of one's body, but I'm not too sure I want my kid using my body as their point of reference nor experimenting with it. I think it's kind of inappropriate, especially if there isn't a conversation and explanation about the body and the correct way to act with others. I don't get why parents shower with their kids in the first place, but I know plenty that do. No judgment. Just not my cup of tea
ETA: I have a 2-year-old.
I never planned to bath with my kids either. I didn't have a choice with my 2nd one, she was terrified of the bathtub and ktichen sink from the first time she saw the tub drain. From 6 months old she was convinced all the toys were going to disappear, even though she could see her big sister was just fine. The ONLY way to wash her was for me to shower with her, and to hold her the whole time, and make sure nothing was on the floor of the shower. That lasted about 6 months or so. She still is leery about water deeper than her waist, and she is almost 8 (although she loves to play in water, I can't keep her out of it, go figure). Sometimes parents have to deal with things as best they can, in a way that works for them. :flowerforyou:
That being said, my husband has not been comfortable with being naked around his girls pretty much from the time they started moving on their own, although there have been a few accidental exposure along the way! :blushing:
For parents who's kids haven't gotten there yet, you will get your chance to get them back. When they hit puberty and start to understand what is really going on behind closed doors, and what their favorite songs are REALLY about - well I tell ya, it is SOOOOO much fun to embarass them back! Gotta love payback! :laugh: :laugh:
Yeah, that's what many of my friends say...their kids are afraid/uncooperative or they have limited time & have to bathe together. Thankfully, my daughter lovessss the bath! She loves to get her hair washed, face cleaned all that! lol
I think it's hilarious when parents start embarrassing their kids with sex talk! I remember the first time my mom talked about sex like we were girlfriends (I was like 19) but I was stilllllllllll mortified lol0 -
Hands down the most embarrassing moment ever with my son (7 now) was when he was about 6 years old. I was getting dressed and he came in the room. I was wearing a new-ish bra. He actually said, "Is that new? It looks nice." I didn't know what to say or do. I mean, I was proud of him for giving a woman a compliment, I want him to harness that forever, but I was so skeeved out!0
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I had one today.
I came home from running an errand while my brother watched my son and my sons cousins.
As soon as I came home I heard all the kids giggling. Turns out my 8 year old son raided my panty drawer and was showing his cousins my bra and panties and threw them around in the living room....
Ha wait till they find the TOM products.. LOL " Mooommm whats that fooorrr?" My answer. Nunya ask when you are 200 -
Most embarrassing moment I've had as a father ... when my daughter wasn't even two yet she walked into the bathroom while I was toweling off. I told her to leave of course so she did no words out of her mouth. About two weeks later we're at Church of all places and my wife is talking with a group of ladies and my daughter decides now is the time to chime in that she saw me naked and decided to say I was rather well large. I became very popular at Church and was mortified at the same time so much so I ended up no longer attending services there lol.
Oh, Lawd! I'd die.
Brother you have NO clue how bad it was. My wife would still go and give me so much flak! "The ladies are wondering why you aren't there any more? Seems you have a few fans now" OIEE!
You should have owned it! Bought a shirt that said "Large and In Charge" and flaunted it every Sunday! Seriously, though, I would have wanted to puddle-ize on the spot. Hysterical!
My son and husband were peeing into the toilet together at home.....he was maybe 3.
Son looks at himself, looks at my husband then very loudly announces:
Daddy, I have a tiny penis, but your's is HUGE.
haahaahaahaahaa!!!!!
He didn't know what to say and was giggling. I walked around the corner and said to my son: It's ok honey, it will grow as you grow, just like your toes and fingers and nose.
Son looked a little relieved that his penis wouldn't stay little. :laugh:0 -
When my son hit about 2 until he was 3 if I was in the bra section of any store he would pat at the bras all while singing loudly
BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES!!!
I have pictures of this, I only wish it were video. That would be soo much better. "-)0 -
When my son hit about 2 until he was 3 if I was in the bra section of any store he would pat at the bras all while singing loudly
BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES!!!
I have pictures of this, I only wish it were video. That would be soo much better. "-)
that's hilarious, my son, who is 4, will do the same thing, only randomly and for no reason and then crack himself up laughing0 -
My wife and I were out with our 6 year old daughter and 2 1/2 year old son looking at houses with a realtor this weekend. Our son is *almost* fully potty trained, so we've been telling him that, if he needs to go, go into the potty and go. Don't stop to ask, just do it. We're walking around one of the houses, the realtor comes around the corner, and there's my little boy, pecker hanging wide out in the open, peeing in the toilet.
At least it was in the toilet, not on the floor.
This was, of course, a week after, in church he asked to go potty. And on the way back shouted across the sanctuary to me (in the middle of Mass, of course) that "I MADE POOPIE, DADDY!" Thanks, little man. For telling me, and letting everyone know...0 -
These are so funny.0
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About 17 years ago when my friends wee boy was three, I was carrying him in my arms as we walked through the carpark of a department store. An older man who had tried to commit suicide years before with a shotgun to his head walked by us. His last name is Watt. Mostly he is known in our town as "bad shot, what!" I very unthinkingly said to my friend "oh look, there goes bad shot what - and the three year old yelled out at the TOP of his lungs "BAD SHOT WHAT". I was mortified - and learnt my lesson
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A few weeks ago I promised my 4 year old daughter I'd let her watch Brave and buy her popcorn. On said shopping trip we're standing in the aisle looking for popcorn when she shouts out "mummy's buying c0ck p0rn". It got a few laughs and I saw the funny side but I was mortified all the same
Lmao!! Omg these are hilarious...this one made my night :laugh:0 -
I was breastfeeding my now 6 month old and of course my 2 year old saw this on a regular basis.I always tell her that the baby is having ba-ba ( our word for food).I had some friends over one day and was wearing one of my v neck shirts when suddenly my daughter comes up to me with her baby doll saying "ba-ba ba-ba" and proceeds to yank down my shirt....nearly exposing me to everybody lol. The other time she really embarassed me was...before I realized how quick she would pick up on things.We had watched a movie with a make out scene...she decided to try to copy it where she would take my head in her hands,stare deeply into my eyes say "I love you" and then swoops in for a big kiss.I thought she had stopped doing that and then my babysitter said that she did it to her 14 year old daughter during her very public ballet class.My babysitter then tells me that it's ok...it must mean that her parents really love each other....so I had to explain with a really red face that she saw it in a movie lol.0
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I work with the elderly and, like children, they have absolutely no filter! Today my client took me to a restaurant I'd never been to. She was trying to explain how wonderful the food at the establishment is. Next, a really large woman walked in and my client said loudly, "if you don't trust my word on how good the good is, just look at her!" While pointing at the woman.
Next story. My 92 year old client took me out to lunch. When the young, cute waitress asked him what he'd like he asked her how much it would cost him to take her home.
Later this week my client and I were walking around Santa Monica and he walked around quoting lines from his son's movies like, "may the force be with you!" Then he innocently tried to steal someone's puppy they had "left alone for too long."
Final story. Took my third client to see the "Lone Ranger". After getting job seated I ran out to get him popcorn and a drink. I walk back into the theater to find him yelling my name and asking the people around job if they knew where I went.
All that in a week!0 -
My youngest brother had a screaming tantrum fit when he was 4 because my mother wouldn't buy him the leopard-print negligee he found in the clearance section at Ross.
Why did he want it, you ask? "I WANNA BE MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!" He screamed, over and over.0 -
After our 3 year old walked in on daddy peeing she announced " my daddy pees from a tail!"0
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My kid is exceptional at embarrassing me:
Standing on the train platform in the rain, a young couple walks up with plastic bags on their heads to protect their hair. My son yells loudly to them, "Why do you have garbage hats!?"
At about 1 year old he is in his stroller on the bus with me. A girl walks by in a skirt and he wastes no time at all sliding his hand up her skirt and to her butt. I snatch his hand away and apologize profusely, the girl's boyfriend looks at him and says, "You better watch it little man, she's taken!" Thankfully they had good humor about it.
To the African convenience store owner near our house, (despite the fact that he sees all different people all the time, we live in a diverse city). "Why is his skin brown?" (And we go into yet another talk about people are all different).
In a crowded public bathroom during the potty training process I sit my son on the toilet and bend down to get some tissue. I get peed all over, my son laughing hysterically and yelling, "I'm peeing on you!" while I frantically say, "Point down! Point down!" Everyone in the bathroom was laughing, and everyone in the bathroom was well aware that my wet jeans were wet with pee.
Another public restroom, I had to bring my son in while I took care of business. I had a pantyliner in as precaution because I knew my cycle was going to start soon. My loving son decides to ask me very loudly, "Mommy, why do you have a sticker in your underpants?"
On a bus shortly after my son turned 3. He sees this woman who is easily 600 pounds and the biggest person he has ever seen. She sits with her legs apart and her stomach hanging down and practically touching the floor and announces loudly, "That lady has a big fat belly". I distract him, hoping she didn't hear since she was a decent distance away and for once he wasn't overly loud, and get ready to get off the bus where we will discuss (again) that you shouldn't point out people's differences because sometimes those differences make them upset or sad. To a 3 year old, saying someone has a fat belly and saying someone has long hair is exactly the same thing. The woman heard and before we get off the bus she decides to be a total snot and tells him, "You're a mean little boy, you owe me an apology" he has no idea why he is "mean" which is a bad word to a 3 year old and looks like she just smacked him in the face. As we get off the bus I'm a mixture of furious and embarrassed. My son is not a mean kid, he just noticed a difference and pointed it out not knowing that having a big fat belly was BAD and not just simply another difference in people.
Trying on dresses with my son, who is 5 now. In the dressing room I try on a dress that has promise so I step out to look in the big mirror. He decides to follow me and stand behind me and, just as someone walks in, drums on my butt and says, "This dress makes your butt boingy!" Thanks kid - I found a different dress.
My husband made an offhand comment once about our bathroom smelling like "burnt poop" because of the hair dryer getting hair tangled into it. My son, from that point forward for months, would welcome everyone into our home by informing them that our bathroom smelled like "Burnt poop".
Upon seeing a neighborhood dog that isn't neutered, my son asks me "What are those things hanging down under his butt?" Since we're at a distance and I'm all for truth, I tell him, "Those are his testicles". As the person passes us, my son decides to inform them, "Your dog has huge testicles".
On the bus my son likes to sit in the big tall seats at the back. We get on this bus and he runs to the back and the tall seat next to the window in the back row is taken. Instead of finding another seat he informs the guy, a gigantic bald tattooed looking brute of a man, "You're in my seat". The guy laughed as I shushed him and moved him to another seat thanking my lucky stars that the guy didn't punch my teeth out.
There are tons more, but these are the ones off the top of my head.0 -
We were going camping for Memorial Day weekend back in May and stopped at a Walmart for supplies on the way. My daughter (yes the one in my profile pic) decided she needed to potty, so we proceed to the front of the store to the restroom. It was quite full but there was a free stall, so we both go in the same stall which we frequently do. While I'm taking my turn, she decides to ask in a very loud voice, "Mama, what's that thing you put in your booty when you make me face the wall?" I promptly put my hand over her mouth and shake my head vigorously in an attempt to make her stop. Dear God where's the nearest rock?!? (And here I thought I was being SLICK during that time of the month by making her face the wall.) "SHHHHHHH," I said loudly, but peristent she is. "You said you would tell me what you do when I face the wall when I got older and now I'm six so you have to tell me," she says in her outisde voice, despite my attempts to get her to whisper. "I'll tell you when we get to the TRUCK. PLEASE stop talking!" I could hear at least 3 other people trying to stifle their laughter and doing a piss-poor job. I swear... kids don't miss anything and they MUST have eyes in the back of their heads.
And by the way, she did NOT forget by the time we got to the truck, so I had to explain what a tampon is and what its used for. I hoped this would gross her out. It didn't...and now she wants to get her period. :sick: :sick: :sick:0 -
Lol, this reminds me of when I was in line at Walmart when my son was maybe 18 months... I glanced down only to realize he had tugged on my shirt and my entire bare breast was out for everyone to see! Oops! And Walmart of all places - where you easily have 60 people around you while you wait in line!I was breastfeeding my now 6 month old and of course my 2 year old saw this on a regular basis.I always tell her that the baby is having ba-ba ( our word for food).I had some friends over one day and was wearing one of my v neck shirts when suddenly my daughter comes up to me with her baby doll saying "ba-ba ba-ba" and proceeds to yank down my shirt....nearly exposing me to everybody lol. The other time she really embarassed me was...before I realized how quick she would pick up on things.We had watched a movie with a make out scene...she decided to try to copy it where she would take my head in her hands,stare deeply into my eyes say "I love you" and then swoops in for a big kiss.I thought she had stopped doing that and then my babysitter said that she did it to her 14 year old daughter during her very public ballet class.My babysitter then tells me that it's ok...it must mean that her parents really love each other....so I had to explain with a really red face that she saw it in a movie lol.0
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So, I'm standing in line at my local Pete's Coffee.
My son attempting to read the menu asks me: "Dad, what's a crappachino?"
"Say again, son?"
He points, "What's a crappachino?"
"Um, I dunno." I stifled a laugh. "I usually have a latte."
Then he gets up to the front of the line, looks at the barrista and says, "I'll have a castratti." [See also, castralto, castration, etc.]
I grimace and look down only to realize he's pointing at the biscotti. Whew!0 -
When I was a kid, I was SUPER independent. When I was about 6, my mom took me to a department store at the mall. While she was shopping, I decided I had to go potty. Being in a department store I'd been in multiple times, I knew where the bathroom was, so she let me go.
Except I confused the emergency exit door for the bathroom door...and set off the entire store's fire alarm. Womp.0 -
While travelling by coach, I encountered a very annoying boy seating right behind me and who seemed to be at his happiest when kicking my seat while singing the Tide commercial music non-stop hitting rythmically a... Tide box... The trip was 8 full hours in and I just couldn't take it anymore. At some point, after his mom told him that Santa wasn't gonnna bring him anything that year cause he was a naughty boy (pfff), I turned around and to the side and did the slice-your-throat signal to him. He narrowed his eyes but did nothing else. In fact, for the next 2 hours he was quiet as the dead. I didn't think anything of it...
At some point we stopped at a rest stop, a huge place/restaurant with hundreds of tables outside for the people to enjoy the sunshine. It was summer... Greek summer... more like hell on earth. So, I am 22 years old, with braces and zits and notice that all the tables outside the place were occupied by soldiers... young army hubba-hubbas everywhere. In my eyes, that place was Hunksville! So, I stay back to freshen up, meaning covering my zits, apply some lip gloss, brush hair, try to remember if I wore my wonderbra that morning... I didn't notice that Satan's spawn was left behind with me looking at me getting all excited and ready to make a grand exit in front of hundreds of soldiers... my bad...
He leaves his seat first, Tide box in his hands, still singing... I leave my seat all-systems-go a few minutes later, congratulating myself cause yes, I was wearing my wonderbra that day... I approach the steps and start descending all grace when suddenly I feel myself sliding the second from the top step... I land face first outside the coach and a few feet away from Hunksville! The little antichrist had made a goo with Tide and water (or his spit... I prefer thinking it was water) on that step and knew I was gonna get down as I was the last passenger and hyperventilating because I thought I was gonna get noticed... well, I did get noticed... I also amused about a hundred men and my fellow passengers... the antichrist too. :grumble:0 -
When our youngest was about 6 or 8 maybe, we were just leaving one of those big box stores named BJ's and across the street was another shopping center with a sporting goods store we went to quite often. Out of nowhere our youngest son says very loudly "MOM!!! Guess what? D i c k's likes BJ's!!!" Our much older children just busted out laughing hysterically as did may shoppers around us. I tried really hard not to laugh. Of course since everyone laughed about it he thought it must be funny and kept saying it the entire ride home. I kept trying to tell him thats enough in a nice way without having to explain it to him but he kept saying it anyway.0
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