Help with boyfriends logic
Replies
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For some reason MFP isn't letting me quote but...
You can be happy or right you pick.
People don't learn until they fail or succeed.
If I could quote it would be these two statements, you can't change anyone else's mind. The beauty and agony of freewill...
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rainbowbow wrote: »
I'm assuming she made this thread as a means of saying "see, i'm right, you're wrong!" to him later on.
Why would you assume that rather than say she wants to get the position clear in her own mind so she can present it to her boyfriend clearly and rationally at a later date? Such an approach has been known to work with me once I get off my emotional high horse...
I'm not saying there is a right way to deal with this but not having an ongoing conversation about an important matter seems a little counter productive to me.
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I like stacking up my "HAH I was right!" moments. They come in handy later on.
Why not wait until he has a dizzy spell or something and then point him to the information? Like a TDEE calculator.0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I've been eating 1200 (on days if no exercise) calories for the past few weeks. I do eat back calories lost, though. I changed the macro percentages to match a different diet, but I've had tons of energy and find myself waking up easier in the morning than ever. I do indeed lead a sedentary lifestyle though where I sit in a chair for 16 hours out of a day between work and school.
I would just change it to lightly active for his lifestyle, but other than that, there is nothing horrible about 1200. In general, adult men only need 1200-1300 at a minimum (not calculating in any factors). However, 1800 is probably a more healthy limit.
This is a big NO on the 1200 - 1300 calories for a man.
Men in general are hardheaded. Today is my 15th anniversary so I think I can say I know this by experience.
Wait for the crash and burn, wait for the complaints on not having enough energy, having brain fog, tired, perhaps getting cold symptoms, etc... It will happen, it will take a while but it will.
When this happens you can be RIGHT, but for now, just let it be.
I guess the scientific journals I read are wrong then. Well poo, let me message them and tell them to correct it.
Post up. What scientific journal says that 1200 is sufficient for an adult male?
I believe it all stemmed from an old Harvard research. Their newest research as of last year states 1500 calories minimum. Touche mister. You bested me with those 200-300 calories.
At least you don't have to passive-aggressively message all those scientific journals to correct it, they already did. At least 10 years ago it seems from a quick google search.
And that is for someone who is sedentary, 1500 won't cut it for someone active.0 -
stevencloser wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I've been eating 1200 (on days if no exercise) calories for the past few weeks. I do eat back calories lost, though. I changed the macro percentages to match a different diet, but I've had tons of energy and find myself waking up easier in the morning than ever. I do indeed lead a sedentary lifestyle though where I sit in a chair for 16 hours out of a day between work and school.
I would just change it to lightly active for his lifestyle, but other than that, there is nothing horrible about 1200. In general, adult men only need 1200-1300 at a minimum (not calculating in any factors). However, 1800 is probably a more healthy limit.
This is a big NO on the 1200 - 1300 calories for a man.
Men in general are hardheaded. Today is my 15th anniversary so I think I can say I know this by experience.
Wait for the crash and burn, wait for the complaints on not having enough energy, having brain fog, tired, perhaps getting cold symptoms, etc... It will happen, it will take a while but it will.
When this happens you can be RIGHT, but for now, just let it be.
I guess the scientific journals I read are wrong then. Well poo, let me message them and tell them to correct it.
Post up. What scientific journal says that 1200 is sufficient for an adult male?
I believe it all stemmed from an old Harvard research. Their newest research as of last year states 1500 calories minimum. Touche mister. You bested me with those 200-300 calories.
At least you don't have to passive-aggressively message all those scientific journals to correct it, they already did. At least 10 years ago it seems from a quick google search.
And that is for someone who is sedentary, 1500 won't cut it for someone active.
Heck I eat that on a cut in the winter when I am only lifting and random movement...
Summer cuts are usually 1800-2200...female...43...0 -
stevencloser wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I've been eating 1200 (on days if no exercise) calories for the past few weeks. I do eat back calories lost, though. I changed the macro percentages to match a different diet, but I've had tons of energy and find myself waking up easier in the morning than ever. I do indeed lead a sedentary lifestyle though where I sit in a chair for 16 hours out of a day between work and school.
I would just change it to lightly active for his lifestyle, but other than that, there is nothing horrible about 1200. In general, adult men only need 1200-1300 at a minimum (not calculating in any factors). However, 1800 is probably a more healthy limit.
This is a big NO on the 1200 - 1300 calories for a man.
Men in general are hardheaded. Today is my 15th anniversary so I think I can say I know this by experience.
Wait for the crash and burn, wait for the complaints on not having enough energy, having brain fog, tired, perhaps getting cold symptoms, etc... It will happen, it will take a while but it will.
When this happens you can be RIGHT, but for now, just let it be.
I guess the scientific journals I read are wrong then. Well poo, let me message them and tell them to correct it.
Post up. What scientific journal says that 1200 is sufficient for an adult male?
I believe it all stemmed from an old Harvard research. Their newest research as of last year states 1500 calories minimum. Touche mister. You bested me with those 200-300 calories.
At least you don't have to passive-aggressively message all those scientific journals to correct it, they already did. At least 10 years ago it seems from a quick google search.
And that is for someone who is sedentary, 1500 won't cut it for someone active.
1500 is the bare minimum for sedentary. My boyfriend started experiencing low t, low energy, being cold all the time, *kitten* mood and depression from eating less than 1,800 for a few months on end.0 -
jackslovely wrote: »Hey all! I've been reading through post daily and im sure i have a pretty good understanding of how things work when it comes to activity level and how MFP translate to burned calories that are synced from my UP2.
Now my boyfriend, who is 5'9" and weighs about 180ish has a very active job, he is a car tech and is pretty much running around all day where as i have a desk job and sit for 10 hours a day working. He has his MFP set as sedentary so and then manually changed his calories to 1200.. i know i know the least amount for a male is 1500. I did get on him about this how its not healthy but he likes the pace he is losing so seeing those quick results has him stuck on staying at 1200.
He doesn't have anything synced to MFP but will add exercise of "walking at a brisk pace" for 6 hours and that gives him about 1,100 extra calories, which i know MFP over estimates also.
I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?
Also, since he is so active all day, every day, wouldn't his body be used to this activity so would that be part of his usual TDEE?
He's losing weight at a decent pace and has his calories set too low, anyway, right? Leave him alone.0 -
stevencloser wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I've been eating 1200 (on days if no exercise) calories for the past few weeks. I do eat back calories lost, though. I changed the macro percentages to match a different diet, but I've had tons of energy and find myself waking up easier in the morning than ever. I do indeed lead a sedentary lifestyle though where I sit in a chair for 16 hours out of a day between work and school.
I would just change it to lightly active for his lifestyle, but other than that, there is nothing horrible about 1200. In general, adult men only need 1200-1300 at a minimum (not calculating in any factors). However, 1800 is probably a more healthy limit.
This is a big NO on the 1200 - 1300 calories for a man.
Men in general are hardheaded. Today is my 15th anniversary so I think I can say I know this by experience.
Wait for the crash and burn, wait for the complaints on not having enough energy, having brain fog, tired, perhaps getting cold symptoms, etc... It will happen, it will take a while but it will.
When this happens you can be RIGHT, but for now, just let it be.
I guess the scientific journals I read are wrong then. Well poo, let me message them and tell them to correct it.
Post up. What scientific journal says that 1200 is sufficient for an adult male?
I believe it all stemmed from an old Harvard research. Their newest research as of last year states 1500 calories minimum. Touche mister. You bested me with those 200-300 calories.
And that is for someone who is sedentary, 1500 won't cut it for someone active.
correct. I was talking about sedentary. I already stated no factors played in.
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How much is he losing per a week? You can tell him that losing too fast, in his case over 1 lb a week, will mean a lot of muscle loss.
As others have said, he probably isn't logging right. Only 1200 calories and being very active for 6 hrs would mean his net calories would be close to zero.0 -
damasceno2 wrote: »http://howtoloseweighthere.blogspot.com.br/2016/03/the-best-way-to-lose-weight.html
How to Lose Weight!!!
not sure if srs...
Although it does fit in with the theme of this thread rather nicely.0 -
How much is he losing per a week? You can tell him that losing too fast, in his case over 1 lb a week, will mean a lot of muscle loss.
As others have said, he probably isn't logging right. Only 1200 calories and being very active for 6 hrs would mean his net calories would be close to zero.
I log everything for him, and i weigh ALL foods on a scale so i know what i make for him is at 1200. IF he goes out to lunch then he will estimate what he has but for the most part i know it is correct.
He has lost 12lb in about 2-3 weeks. I know that it is most likely water weight and definitely not at a healthy pace.
I'm not looking to prove anything to him, i know how he is losing isn't the healthiest, I just wanted to know if my understanding was wrong. but I'll leave him be until he asks for my help0 -
jackslovely wrote: »
I log everything for him,
You are enabling him to do something unhealthy. I would stop.
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The right or happy thing cracked me up, my family and I all agree that it is simply impossible to be happy if we are not right
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you lost me at "my boyfriend".0
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Given his occupation, if he's eating too little, he'll figure it out based on his energy level soon enough.
Also, so many jealous haters of his success. So many.0 -
Sorry - even if he is 100% wrong he's a grown adult and responsible for his own choices. You said what you had to say, he disregarded it, that's the end of it. Let it go.0
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You can tell him my boyfriend has almost the exact same stats, is also an automotive technician, and has his activity set to active. He loses weight rapidly on the calorie allotment MFP gives him (over 2000). Just so he knows he can eat more and lose weight...0
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rainbowbow wrote: »AmandaOmega wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?
Does it matter? He's a man. Let him fail on his own. Lead by example, live your own life, and offer suggestions and advice if he asks for it. Otherwise, let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.
I have this attitude in general about people. I try to offer advice, but if they don't want it, I'm not going to waste my time trying to persuade them to listen to me. Just let him do what he thinks is right and if it doesn't work, then maybe he'll consider changing what he's doing or asking for your input.
I can understand that about people in general but someone you are in a relationship with?
If I was going down a road that my spouse had concerns about I wouldn't want her to keep them to herself. I would much rather she said "Michael, you are being idiotic. Stop being idiotic." I might disagree with her and ultimately I would hope she would respect what I wanted to do if I was determined to do it. What I wouldn't want is her silence.
she already told him and he wants to do what he wants to do anyway.
"I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?"
I'm assuming she made this thread as a means of saying "see, i'm right, you're wrong!" to him later on.
I had to adapt this approach with my boyfriend numerous times and it's always worked out. He listens to what i have to say, but he is incapable of taking my word for it. He must fail on his own in order to learn.
I am assuming this as well. I know if someone did that to me, and used a post they made to prove they were right, it would not end well.0 -
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He shouldn't add exercise as his normal work day walking unless he is breaking a sweat as in a real workout, at least not 1100 calories for it, maybe less than half that amount if he feels he needs to count it as activity. He should probably not have himself set as sedentary and use the next one on the list (I can't remember what it is right now). IMO if he isn't sitting for more than 50-75% of his day then he isn't sedentary.
I only track activity if it's real exercise outside of my normal day and I've broken a sweat and gotten my heart rate up doing it.0 -
jackslovely wrote: »How much is he losing per a week? You can tell him that losing too fast, in his case over 1 lb a week, will mean a lot of muscle loss.
As others have said, he probably isn't logging right. Only 1200 calories and being very active for 6 hrs would mean his net calories would be close to zero.
I log everything for him, and i weigh ALL foods on a scale so i know what i make for him is at 1200. IF he goes out to lunch then he will estimate what he has but for the most part i know it is correct.
He has lost 12lb in about 2-3 weeks. I know that it is most likely water weight and definitely not at a healthy pace.
I'm not looking to prove anything to him, i know how he is losing isn't the healthiest, I just wanted to know if my understanding was wrong. but I'll leave him be until he asks for my help
It's not unusual to lose a lot in the first three or four weeks like that and not necessarily unhealthy in the very beginning.0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »So he then eats 2300?
Why is he then wrong?
She's saying he only eats 1200 despite potentially massive burns.
It is incredibly unhealthy. You can't make him eat more though. Provide him with some resources on VLCD and show your concern. It's his choice if he wants to eat the minimum but he isn't even eating the proper minimum. Giving information is all you can do, even if he's your partner it's his body.
But for what it's worth, you're right. He should definitely eat more. Maybe he isn't aware at how the body will turn to his muscle for energy with such a severe deficit?0 -
jackslovely wrote: »How much is he losing per a week? You can tell him that losing too fast, in his case over 1 lb a week, will mean a lot of muscle loss.
As others have said, he probably isn't logging right. Only 1200 calories and being very active for 6 hrs would mean his net calories would be close to zero.
I log everything for him, and i weigh ALL foods on a scale so i know what i make for him is at 1200. IF he goes out to lunch then he will estimate what he has but for the most part i know it is correct.
He has lost 12lb in about 2-3 weeks. I know that it is most likely water weight and definitely not at a healthy pace.
I'm not looking to prove anything to him, i know how he is losing isn't the healthiest, I just wanted to know if my understanding was wrong. but I'll leave him be until he asks for my help
If he hasn't asked for your help why are you the one making him food, doing all the weighing and logging?
I think if you disagree with his unhealthy approach then you really should no longer be doing that stuff for him. He can do what he wants because he is an adult and it is his body. You get to choose not to help him do that.0 -
TDEE includes all calories burned, whether it be 'activity' or 'bmr' or 'exercise'. Doesn't matter if your body is used to it, moving burns calories.
I imagine that if selected lightly active, no exercise - he'd get a calorie goal around 1800-2000. So his method of sedentary/manual 1200 + 1100 for his work day that he is logging as exercise comes out around 2300. I'm guessing he does not 'eat' all the 1100 so hopefully he's still ending up around the 1800-2000. Meaning different route to get to the same place. His logic is faulty but it doesn't really matter.jackslovely wrote: »Hey all! I've been reading through post daily and im sure i have a pretty good understanding of how things work when it comes to activity level and how MFP translate to burned calories that are synced from my UP2.
Now my boyfriend, who is 5'9" and weighs about 180ish has a very active job, he is a car tech and is pretty much running around all day where as i have a desk job and sit for 10 hours a day working. He has his MFP set as sedentary so and then manually changed his calories to 1200.. i know i know the least amount for a male is 1500. I did get on him about this how its not healthy but he likes the pace he is losing so seeing those quick results has him stuck on staying at 1200.
He doesn't have anything synced to MFP but will add exercise of "walking at a brisk pace" for 6 hours and that gives him about 1,100 extra calories, which i know MFP over estimates also.
I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?
Also, since he is so active all day, every day, wouldn't his body be used to this activity so would that be part of his usual TDEE?
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StaciMarie1974 wrote: »TDEE includes all calories burned, whether it be 'activity' or 'bmr' or 'exercise'. Doesn't matter if your body is used to it, moving burns calories.
I imagine that if selected lightly active, no exercise - he'd get a calorie goal around 1800-2000. So his method of sedentary/manual 1200 + 1100 for his work day that he is logging as exercise comes out around 2300. I'm guessing he does not 'eat' all the 1100 so hopefully he's still ending up around the 1800-2000. Meaning different route to get to the same place. His logic is faulty but it doesn't really matter.jackslovely wrote: »Hey all! I've been reading through post daily and im sure i have a pretty good understanding of how things work when it comes to activity level and how MFP translate to burned calories that are synced from my UP2.
Now my boyfriend, who is 5'9" and weighs about 180ish has a very active job, he is a car tech and is pretty much running around all day where as i have a desk job and sit for 10 hours a day working. He has his MFP set as sedentary so and then manually changed his calories to 1200.. i know i know the least amount for a male is 1500. I did get on him about this how its not healthy but he likes the pace he is losing so seeing those quick results has him stuck on staying at 1200.
He doesn't have anything synced to MFP but will add exercise of "walking at a brisk pace" for 6 hours and that gives him about 1,100 extra calories, which i know MFP over estimates also.
I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?
Also, since he is so active all day, every day, wouldn't his body be used to this activity so would that be part of his usual TDEE?
Exceptjackslovely wrote: »Sorry, he doesn't eat any burned calories back. so really only eats 1200 if that
(Also, when you too-post, you make the ensuing chain of responses impossible to follow...
...and I kick a puppy.
Please don't top-post.
Think of the puppies.)0 -
you will come to regret it because testosterone crashes pretty early on in a massive deficit like that... Tell him he is an idiot and help him set *kitten* up right.0
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Let him do him.0
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »...and I kick a puppy.
How many calories does that burn? Do you wear an HRM when you do so?0 -
blues4miles wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »...and I kick a puppy.
How many calories does that burn? Do you wear an HRM when you do so?
I think that depends on the size of the puppy. If you really want a good workout, you need to kick big dogs. BIG ANGRY DOGS! Great cardio! :laugh:0 -
I never got past the fact that he wants to lose weight and is 5'9 and 180. That sounds like a reasonable weight to me.
I stand corrected, BMI says he's at 26.6 which makes him "marginally overweight" (Cause we all know BMI is a fabulous indicator of fitness)0
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