Help with boyfriends logic
Replies
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enterdanger wrote: »I never got past the fact that he wants to lose weight and is 5'9 and 180. That sounds like a reasonable weight to me.
I stand corrected, BMI says he's at 26.6 which makes him "marginally overweight" (Cause we all know BMI is a fabulous indicator of fitness)
I was going to say....My boyfriend is 1 inche shorter and 40 pounds lighter. He falls within the "healthy" BMI range. LOL0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »blues4miles wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »...and I kick a puppy.
How many calories does that burn? Do you wear an HRM when you do so?
I think that depends on the size of the puppy. If you really want a good workout, you need to kick big dogs. BIG ANGRY DOGS! Great cardio! :laugh:
True. You usually get a good High Intensity Interval in at that point, especially the bigger/angrier the dog.0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I've been eating 1200 (on days if no exercise) calories for the past few weeks. I do eat back calories lost, though. I changed the macro percentages to match a different diet, but I've had tons of energy and find myself waking up easier in the morning than ever. I do indeed lead a sedentary lifestyle though where I sit in a chair for 16 hours out of a day between work and school.
I would just change it to lightly active for his lifestyle, but other than that, there is nothing horrible about 1200. In general, adult men only need 1200-1300 at a minimum (not calculating in any factors). However, 1800 is probably a more healthy limit.
This is a big NO on the 1200 - 1300 calories for a man.
Men in general are hardheaded. Today is my 15th anniversary so I think I can say I know this by experience.
Wait for the crash and burn, wait for the complaints on not having enough energy, having brain fog, tired, perhaps getting cold symptoms, etc... It will happen, it will take a while but it will.
When this happens you can be RIGHT, but for now, just let it be.
I guess the scientific journals I read are wrong then. Well poo, let me message them and tell them to correct it.
Post up. What scientific journal says that 1200 is sufficient for an adult male?
I believe it all stemmed from an old Harvard research. Their newest research as of last year states 1500 calories minimum. Touche mister. You bested me with those 200-300 calories.
At least you don't have to passive-aggressively message all those scientific journals to correct it, they already did. At least 10 years ago it seems from a quick google search.
And that is for someone who is sedentary, 1500 won't cut it for someone active.
1500 is the bare minimum for sedentary. My boyfriend started experiencing low t, low energy, being cold all the time, *kitten* mood and depression from eating less than 1,800 for a few months on end.you will come to regret it because testosterone crashes pretty early on in a massive deficit like that... Tell him he is an idiot and help him set *kitten* up right.
Is this an April Fool's joke by Vanilla or has that word (which you can see when you quote) always been changed to 'kitten'?
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kshama2001 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I've been eating 1200 (on days if no exercise) calories for the past few weeks. I do eat back calories lost, though. I changed the macro percentages to match a different diet, but I've had tons of energy and find myself waking up easier in the morning than ever. I do indeed lead a sedentary lifestyle though where I sit in a chair for 16 hours out of a day between work and school.
I would just change it to lightly active for his lifestyle, but other than that, there is nothing horrible about 1200. In general, adult men only need 1200-1300 at a minimum (not calculating in any factors). However, 1800 is probably a more healthy limit.
This is a big NO on the 1200 - 1300 calories for a man.
Men in general are hardheaded. Today is my 15th anniversary so I think I can say I know this by experience.
Wait for the crash and burn, wait for the complaints on not having enough energy, having brain fog, tired, perhaps getting cold symptoms, etc... It will happen, it will take a while but it will.
When this happens you can be RIGHT, but for now, just let it be.
I guess the scientific journals I read are wrong then. Well poo, let me message them and tell them to correct it.
Post up. What scientific journal says that 1200 is sufficient for an adult male?
I believe it all stemmed from an old Harvard research. Their newest research as of last year states 1500 calories minimum. Touche mister. You bested me with those 200-300 calories.
At least you don't have to passive-aggressively message all those scientific journals to correct it, they already did. At least 10 years ago it seems from a quick google search.
And that is for someone who is sedentary, 1500 won't cut it for someone active.
1500 is the bare minimum for sedentary. My boyfriend started experiencing low t, low energy, being cold all the time, *kitten* mood and depression from eating less than 1,800 for a few months on end.you will come to regret it because testosterone crashes pretty early on in a massive deficit like that... Tell him he is an idiot and help him set *kitten* up right.
Is this an April Fool's joke by Vanilla or has that word (which you can see when you quote) always been changed to 'kitten'?
So you finally found the AFD joke that requires violating the CG (all hail!) to see?0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?
Does it matter? He's a man. Let him fail on his own. Lead by example, live your own life, and offer suggestions and advice if he asks for it. Otherwise, let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.
@rainbowbow I have a theory that testosterone can lead to brain damage in males.
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jackslovely wrote: »How much is he losing per a week? You can tell him that losing too fast, in his case over 1 lb a week, will mean a lot of muscle loss.
As others have said, he probably isn't logging right. Only 1200 calories and being very active for 6 hrs would mean his net calories would be close to zero.
I log everything for him, and i weigh ALL foods on a scale so i know what i make for him is at 1200. IF he goes out to lunch then he will estimate what he has but for the most part i know it is correct.
He has lost 12lb in about 2-3 weeks. I know that it is most likely water weight and definitely not at a healthy pace.
I'm not looking to prove anything to him, i know how he is losing isn't the healthiest, I just wanted to know if my understanding was wrong. but I'll leave him be until he asks for my help
This is where you lost me. He's a grown man who can do all of this for himself. If he wants to lose the weight, HE has to put in the work..0 -
Maybe tell him about how excessive deficit and weight loss can lead to muscle loss.
Then look at his belt and walk away.
It may not be true but it might make him rethink it.
But serious face now. Why are so many people jumping on the bandwagon of let him fail, so what he is a man let him potentially hurt him self?
I am assuming that the OP his girlfriend cares about this guy, so why just leave him to it if he is just being uneducated or blinded by fast results.
Sure there is only so much she can do but I kind of feel giving the advice of let him fail, letting him potentially lose hair, nails, muscles and do permanent damage is a bit harsh or insensitive.0 -
Maybe tell him about how excessive deficit and weight loss can lead to muscle loss.
Then look at his belt and walk away.
It may not be true but it might make him rethink it.
But serious face now. Why are so many people jumping on the bandwagon of let him fail, so what he is a man let him potentially hurt him self?
I am assuming that the OP his girlfriend cares about this guy, so why just leave him to it if he is just being uneducated or blinded by fast results.
Sure there is only so much she can do but I kind of feel giving the advice of let him fail, letting him potentially lose hair, nails, muscles and do permanent damage is a bit harsh or insensitive.
You keep using the word "let" as if this is something in her control. It's not.
It's his life, his body, his choices, and ultimately his decision to make. If he's been informed and wants to do his own thing... What then? Force feed him? Talk down to him? Guilt him? What else is OP really going to do?
And let's not be overly dramatic, the guy is likely eating more (especially since he's not even the one logging, she is, like some over controlling person) and he IS overweight. I'm just saying, let's not jump to the "starving! Your gonna die! Panic! Just yet, Atleast.0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »Maybe tell him about how excessive deficit and weight loss can lead to muscle loss.
Then look at his belt and walk away.
It may not be true but it might make him rethink it.
But serious face now. Why are so many people jumping on the bandwagon of let him fail, so what he is a man let him potentially hurt him self?
I am assuming that the OP his girlfriend cares about this guy, so why just leave him to it if he is just being uneducated or blinded by fast results.
Sure there is only so much she can do but I kind of feel giving the advice of let him fail, letting him potentially lose hair, nails, muscles and do permanent damage is a bit harsh or insensitive.
You keep using the word "let" as if this is something in her control. It's not.
It's his life, his body, his choices, and ultimately his decision to make. If he's been informed and wants to do his own thing... What then? Force feed him? Talk down to him? Guilt him? What else is OP really going to do?
And let's not be overly dramatic, the guy is likely eating more (especially since he's not even the one logging, she is, like some over controlling person) and he IS overweight. I'm just saying, let's not jump to the "starving! Your gonna die! Panic! Just yet, Atleast.
This. Since when does man=child? He is a fully functioning adult who is control of his life, and that includes his meal plan and exercise program. Girlfriend does not equal mom. She doesn't have to coddle him. When he's really and truly ready to lose weight, he will take the steps necessary to make that happen.0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »Maybe tell him about how excessive deficit and weight loss can lead to muscle loss.
Then look at his belt and walk away.
It may not be true but it might make him rethink it.
But serious face now. Why are so many people jumping on the bandwagon of let him fail, so what he is a man let him potentially hurt him self?
I am assuming that the OP his girlfriend cares about this guy, so why just leave him to it if he is just being uneducated or blinded by fast results.
Sure there is only so much she can do but I kind of feel giving the advice of let him fail, letting him potentially lose hair, nails, muscles and do permanent damage is a bit harsh or insensitive.
You keep using the word "let" as if this is something in her control. It's not.
It's his life, his body, his choices, and ultimately his decision to make. If he's been informed and wants to do his own thing... What then? Force feed him? Talk down to him? Guilt him? What else is OP really going to do?
And let's not be overly dramatic, the guy is likely eating more (especially since he's not even the one logging, she is, like some over controlling person) and he IS overweight. I'm just saying, let's not jump to the "starving! Your gonna die! Panic! Just yet, Atleast.
I was actually using let because of others in this thread used it, quoting others in this thread, which I just found includes you, you said the below.rainbowbow wrote: »I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?
Does it matter? He's a man. Let him fail on his own. Lead by example, live your own life, and offer suggestions and advice if he asks for it. Otherwise, let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.
I did say there is only so much that she can do, but people, like you and others, seemed to just suggest abandon him to his own stupidity or ignorance.
Based on the information I read he is eating 1200 calories and is fairly active so what's that a 1000-2000 calorie deficit, I think she also mentioned losing 13lb in 3 weeks so 2000 sounds reasonable, maybe its just water weight, I dont know.
Ok maybe I was being a bit extreme talking about hair loss etc but 2000 calorie deficit for a 180lb man who is barely overweight on the BMI seems extreme by anyone's standards.
I wasn't suggesting force feeding or being controlling, but I also thought abandoning them to his fate wasn't the right response either, there has to be some sort of middle ground. I am just not sure what that is though.
Maybe she has done all she can.
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AmandaOmega wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »I tried telling him that since his activity level isn't correct on MFP that he isn't getting a correct amount. Am I right about this?
Does it matter? He's a man. Let him fail on his own. Lead by example, live your own life, and offer suggestions and advice if he asks for it. Otherwise, let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.
I have this attitude in general about people. I try to offer advice, but if they don't want it, I'm not going to waste my time trying to persuade them to listen to me. Just let him do what he thinks is right and if it doesn't work, then maybe he'll consider changing what he's doing or asking for your input.
I can understand that about people in general but someone you are in a relationship with?
If I was going down a road that my spouse had concerns about I wouldn't want her to keep them to herself. I would much rather she said "Michael, you are being idiotic. Stop being idiotic." I might disagree with her and ultimately I would hope she would respect what I wanted to do if I was determined to do it. What I wouldn't want is her silence.
Awesome comment.0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »Maybe tell him about how excessive deficit and weight loss can lead to muscle loss.
Then look at his belt and walk away.
It may not be true but it might make him rethink it.
But serious face now. Why are so many people jumping on the bandwagon of let him fail, so what he is a man let him potentially hurt him self?
I am assuming that the OP his girlfriend cares about this guy, so why just leave him to it if he is just being uneducated or blinded by fast results.
Sure there is only so much she can do but I kind of feel giving the advice of let him fail, letting him potentially lose hair, nails, muscles and do permanent damage is a bit harsh or insensitive.
You keep using the word "let" as if this is something in her control. It's not.
It's his life, his body, his choices, and ultimately his decision to make. If he's been informed and wants to do his own thing... What then? Force feed him? Talk down to him? Guilt him? What else is OP really going to do?
Provide data. In my case I would verify that he knows these potential downfalls and answer any questions, then let it be. As in "did you know eating so little could lead to excessive muscle loss during weight loss and low testosterone? Yes? Alright then!"
I also agree OP should no longer enable this behavior if she thinks it's dangerous. Hmm. Now I've got myself thinking. Is it dangerous?0 -
@kshama2001 , thank you for explaining why kitten kept showing up. Then we started talking about kicking puppies and dogs so I really started to think there was an animal theme everybody else knew about and I was losing my mind0
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