Religion being forced on me will soon ruin my diet...HELP.
xoTalim
Posts: 212 Member
So here's the story. My family is Muslim. I'm not. Ramadan is starting next week, which is the month where you fast everyday from sunrise to sunset. No food or drink during that time. So, up until last year, my mom thought I was still Muslim, so I pretended to fast while secretly having a snack or two throughout the day.
Now she knows I'm not Muslim, and is forcing me to fast this year for Ramadan, even though I don't believe in it, and because I know it's totally gunna screw up my metabolism. Eating nothing all day and then having one HUGE meal at the end of it is just..not good. I'm 20 years old but she's forcing me by basically saying she'll kick me out if I don't. I don't have a job right now or the money to be living on my own.
Another thing is that, if I'm not eating all day, I'll likely end up binging at the end of the day when I finally DO get to eat. I'm gunna try the whole sneaking snacks thing again but it's just really frustrating that she's still forcing it on me. She thinks me being Atheist is just a phase I'll grow out of, and refuses to accept it. Even though I've considered myself Atheist for the past like..5 years now.
I just don't know what to do. There's no reasoning with this woman. I tried to and it ended with me crying for a good half hour and hyperventilating. She is SO hard to deal with.
Any suggestions would be great. I really don't know what to do.
Now she knows I'm not Muslim, and is forcing me to fast this year for Ramadan, even though I don't believe in it, and because I know it's totally gunna screw up my metabolism. Eating nothing all day and then having one HUGE meal at the end of it is just..not good. I'm 20 years old but she's forcing me by basically saying she'll kick me out if I don't. I don't have a job right now or the money to be living on my own.
Another thing is that, if I'm not eating all day, I'll likely end up binging at the end of the day when I finally DO get to eat. I'm gunna try the whole sneaking snacks thing again but it's just really frustrating that she's still forcing it on me. She thinks me being Atheist is just a phase I'll grow out of, and refuses to accept it. Even though I've considered myself Atheist for the past like..5 years now.
I just don't know what to do. There's no reasoning with this woman. I tried to and it ended with me crying for a good half hour and hyperventilating. She is SO hard to deal with.
Any suggestions would be great. I really don't know what to do.
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Replies
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Putting the issues between you & your mom aside for a sec, that pattern has recently been promoted as a means of accelerating fat loss ('intermittent fasting'). Lots of people have seen results on it, though, it's harder on women, that's true. I don't know, but have trouble seeing how it would mess up your metabolism after just a month. So if it turns out you can't get around the fast, it won't hurt weight loss, if that's a concern.0
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Putting the issues between you & your mom aside for a sec, that pattern has recently been promoted as a means of accelerating fat loss ('intermittent fasting'). Lots of people have seen results on it, though, it's harder on women, that's true. I don't know, but have trouble seeing how it would mess up your metabolism after just a month. So if it turns out you can't get around the fast, it won't hurt weight loss, if that's a concern.0
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Other than that, for the long term, make concrete plans to move out.
Re dealing w your mom now: there's nothing you can do that won't be explosive. It's your choice to play along or try to come to a middle ground. Do you think she'd follow through on kicking you out?0 -
Other than that, for the long term, make concrete plans to move out.
Re dealing w your mom now: there's nothing you can do that won't be explosive. It's your choice to play along or try to come to a middle ground. Do you think she'd follow through on kicking you out?0 -
Putting the issues between you & your mom aside for a sec, that pattern has recently been promoted as a means of accelerating fat loss ('intermittent fasting'). Lots of people have seen results on it, though, it's harder on women, that's true. I don't know, but have trouble seeing how it would mess up your metabolism after just a month. So if it turns out you can't get around the fast, it won't hurt weight loss, if that's a concern.
Nah, you won't. Check this out:
http://www.leangains.com/2010/04/leangains-guide.html0 -
Other than that, for the long term, make concrete plans to move out.
Re dealing w your mom now: there's nothing you can do that won't be explosive. It's your choice to play along or try to come to a middle ground. Do you think she'd follow through on kicking you out?
It's tough out there, there is absolutely no doubt. Fingers crossed something changes for you soon0 -
remind her that you only get rewards for religious acts if it's done for the intention of pleasing Allah... if she forces you to fast you'd be doing it for the intention of pleasing her, which is minor shirk, which is a very grave sin (worse than not fasting)
also show her the bit in the Qur'an that says "there is no compulsion in religion" (i.e. you can't force someone to be a Muslim, or practice Islam)
Failing that, find a way to be out of the house each day, so she won't know if you're eating or not.0 -
Putting the issues between you & your mom aside for a sec, that pattern has recently been promoted as a means of accelerating fat loss ('intermittent fasting'). Lots of people have seen results on it, though, it's harder on women, that's true. I don't know, but have trouble seeing how it would mess up your metabolism after just a month. So if it turns out you can't get around the fast, it won't hurt weight loss, if that's a concern.
Nah, you won't. Check this out:
http://www.leangains.com/2010/04/leangains-guide.html0 -
remind her that you only get rewards for religious acts if it's done for the intention of pleasing Allah... if she forces you to fast you'd be doing it for the intention of pleasing her, which is minor shirk, which is a very grave sin (worse than not fasting)
also show her the bit in the Qur'an that says "there is no compulsion in religion" (i.e. you can't force someone to be a Muslim, or practice Islam)
Failing that, find a way to be out of the house each day, so she won't know if you're eating or not.0 -
remind her that you only get rewards for religious acts if it's done for the intention of pleasing Allah... if she forces you to fast you'd be doing it for the intention of pleasing her, which is minor shirk, which is a very grave sin (worse than not fasting)
also show her the bit in the Qur'an that says "there is no compulsion in religion" (i.e. you can't force someone to be a Muslim, or practice Islam)
Failing that, find a way to be out of the house each day, so she won't know if you're eating or not.0 -
One day won't "RUIN" your diet. Just start again the next day.0
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One day won't "RUIN" your diet. Just start again the next day.0
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Tell her that you're going to the library. Unless she has a tracking device, she won't be able to tell that you spent 30 minutes in the library and 30 minutes picking up and eating a salad. Also, libraries have water fountains.0
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Tell her that you're going to the library. Unless she has a tracking device, she won't be able to tell that you spent 30 minutes in the library and 30 minutes picking up and eating a salad. Also, libraries have water fountains.0
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Putting the issues between you & your mom aside for a sec, that pattern has recently been promoted as a means of accelerating fat loss ('intermittent fasting'). Lots of people have seen results on it, though, it's harder on women, that's true. I don't know, but have trouble seeing how it would mess up your metabolism after just a month. So if it turns out you can't get around the fast, it won't hurt weight loss, if that's a concern.
Nah, you won't. Check this out:
http://www.leangains.com/2010/04/leangains-guide.html
Most people doing lean gains have an about 16 hours fasting followed by 8 hours of eating at whatever time of day suits. You'll be fine. I promise this short period won't ruin your metabolism. Try to break your fast with healthy food to prevent binging0 -
One day won't "RUIN" your diet. Just start again the next day.
Huh?
Ramadan isn't "one day". It's "one MONTH".0 -
On an average, health-wise you should be fine. Just watch your intake / log what you eat / drink plenty of water at night (partly speak from personal experience, having observed the month of Ramadan for many years by God's leave; as also know many others who have).
Religiously, there is no compulsion in the religion (Quran 2:256). If you don't want to fast or be a Submitter to God (Muslim), you shouldn't be made to.
Seems the main issue here is with your Mom. And it goes well beyond her views on fasting. Sorry am unable to provide much in the way of suggestion on that, but wish you and the family the best. Hope it works out.
[edited to add some personal experience]0 -
Is it possible to visit family or close friends whom your mother would approve, who wouldn't expect you to fast?0
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Putting the issues between you & your mom aside for a sec, that pattern has recently been promoted as a means of accelerating fat loss ('intermittent fasting'). Lots of people have seen results on it, though, it's harder on women, that's true. I don't know, but have trouble seeing how it would mess up your metabolism after just a month. So if it turns out you can't get around the fast, it won't hurt weight loss, if that's a concern.
Nah, you won't. Check this out:
http://www.leangains.com/2010/04/leangains-guide.html
I'm not an expert on IF (or metabolism), but I think it's not so much the particular time of day that matters, so much as the ratio of fasting hours to feeding hours (e.g., 16:8).
No water, well, wow. I bet that absolutely does suck Not even ice chips?0 -
On an average, health-wise you should be fine. Just watch your intake / log what you eat.
Religiously, there is no compulsion in the religion (Quran 2:256).
Seems the main issue here is with your Mom. And it goes well beyond her views on fasting. Sorry am unable to provide much in the way of suggestion on that, but wish you and the family the best. Hope it works out.
And regarding that Quran verse..my mom really doesn't seem to care. She basically told me the other day that my belief is "non-negotiable".0
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