SO ASHAMED TO WORK OUT IN FRONT OF MEN
FlabToFitty
Posts: 70 Member
Guys I'm so ashamed of my body and now I'm too scared to go to the gym even though I made a membership last week I've alway been overweight and had social anxiety and had very few male friends because I've always felt uncomfortable so now I can't even workout in front of them I've spent so much money and really want to change but my anxiety is holding me back please help
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From my experience, most people are in the gym to work on themselves, not worry about other people.
I know it's scary. But scary means it's important. You're just going to have to do it scared. And do it again. And again. Until it's not scary anymore.
Good luck!0 -
Do you have someone who could go with you the first few times? Does the gym you joined offer you a free session with a trainer or anything like that? I think if you're not alone that first time you utilize the facility, it might make it much easier for you to start doing it yourself.
I had massive anxieties like this myself, and I actually paid for a gym membership for over a year before I started using it...then when I finally did, I realized I had caused myself anxiety over nothing! I couldn't go alone at first, but after going 2-3 times with support I was able to do it myself.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »From my experience, most people are in the gym to work on themselves, not worry about other people.
This exactly. If it gives you that much anxiety, though, you may want to work out at home. I realize that advice is probably not the greatest considering you already got a gym membership.
I prefer going in the early am (4am ish) because it's just not as busy. With fewer people it could help your anxiety.0 -
I know anxiety is another thing, but I weighed 280 lbs and went to the gym, and if I can say one thing, its that nobody cares or even knows you are there lol I pay hardly any attention to other members as do they to me.
We are our own worst enemies, and our minds love to overthink things. Now ask yourself, are you really going to let this feeling shut you down from going to the gym and working out? ^_^ 0 -
Trust me, no one is looking at you. They are focused on themselves, that's why people exercise. And, if they are looking at you, they are likely thinking, "good for her for loving herself enough to do the hard work!"
I have been going to the gym for several months, several times a week, at first I thought everyone was looking at me and judging. Then, I decided I was going to consciously count how many people really looked at me. I made eye contact with 3 people that day, 2 were women, and all 3 smiled. 0 -
Not sure where, but I recently saw something along the lines of:
Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of an unemployed person at a job fair.0 -
You don't have to join a gym. There are plenty of workout videos online that you can do at home. You can do your stuff at home where you feel comfy and safe, then when you're ready you can try out a gym or out in public.0
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I remember my heart racing the first time I really used the free-weights room by myself. I bought a few shirts that were cute and loose that covered my bum so at least I could have control over that. Then I just got to business. I didn't look around much and avoided eye contact. Soon enough my body started changing, I felt more confident, and if someone wanted to say "hello" I didn't avoid them like the plague. Maybe the first couple weeks will be tough but think of what you'll be doing for your body and your health!
Even now, there are some awkward booty lifts I do in a weight room full of men. I just don't care because I want the best booty I can have and am not going to let a few glances get in the way of that.0 -
maybe go to classes at the gym for a while until you get comfortable there and start meeting people and seeing everyone else that goes, there will be people of all shapes and sizes and anxiety levels. you are not alone. Or just go to the gym and do something you are comfortable with for a while until you relax a little. like maybe there is a treadmill in a far corner so you can just get used to the surroundings. You don't have to just start working out right in front of everyone , you can ease into it.0
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I only started the gym 2 weeks ago. Had just done little HIIT sessions alone at home previously. I've ALWAYS been terrified of the gym, just the thought made me feel sick. But I but the bullet, but only with the help of my partner who comes with me. First day was scary but walked in and saw no one looked at me, everyone was just doing their own thing. Then I felt a million times better.
My advice, is get a friend, colleague or partner to join with you and take your headphones. You'll be fine. Don't let your anxieties stop you achieving your goal x 0 -
I'm pretty sure most of the guys are too busy grunting and dropping the weights that they don't even notice. Just kidding guys
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I used to have panic attacks so bad that I couldn't leave my house, but the only way to conquer your anxiety is by facing it. Don't let your anxiety hold you back, you can do this. Go early in the morning, or late at night when its not as busy - find someone to go with you. I promise you that when you start going, you'll become more comfortable at the gym and forget about your anxiety and the other people there.
You can do this!!!0 -
Most people are focused on themselves. You can always go at a time with fewer people. Listen to music so you can exist in your own little bubble and mostly ignore others. I also like the suggestion to get a trainer to show you the basics of all of the machines so you're at least confident with the equipment. And make sure you follow your gym's etiquette when it comes to putting away weights and wiping down equipment.0
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Most people are focused on themselves, not on you, I promise. But if you are uncomfortable, there are a few ways to help with that -
-How do you feel about working out at home?
-Do you have a friend who could go with you the first few times to ease some anxiety?
-Go really early/really late while it isnt as busy until you feel more at home.
-Several gyms I have belonged to have a *Womens Only* room with weight machines, treadmill, elliptical, etc. See if this is an option anywhere around. I'm not self conscious but tend to go in there because it is quieter!
You can do this - promise!0 -
who gives a rats *kitten* what people think. this time is about you and you are awesome for doing it. don't let fear keep you from your goals......EVER.0
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Not sure where, but I recently saw something along the lines of:
Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of an unemployed person at a job fair.
Just a personal story here: I'm a college professor in my 50s, and I have (free) access that is frequenlty full of buff college students. Here's what I overheard one day--unaware that I was around the corner and could hear them:
Buff Boy #1: "Did you see that fat mama in lane 2?"
Buff Boy #2: "You mean the one who kicks my *kitten* on every lap?"
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In my experience, everyone just does their own thing at the gym. People don't even really make eye contact with one another. I promise that this is something that's so much worse in your head than it is in reality. Just go once, and you'll see it's no big deal! For your first visit, maybe schedule a time with a trainer to show you the equipment. A lot of gyms will do that for free when you sign up. You may be less likely to skip because you have an appointment, and you may feel more comfortable if you know the ropes a little before you are on your own.0
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Just saw this on another post here today, and i think it's quite appropriate:
It's good that you're anxious. It means this matters to you. Go out there and prove to yourself that you're better than the worries.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »From my experience, most people are in the gym to work on themselves, not worry about other people.
I know it's scary. But scary means it's important. You're just going to have to do it scared. And do it again. And again. Until it's not scary anymore.
Good luck!
Exactly THIS !!!
One step in front of the other.
What others will see in you is courage.
Courage of challenging yourself to a better you, a better life.
You are not alone.0 -
Thank you all so so so much you have no idea how much this means to me. I went in today put my kit on saw some guys and fhen left without even excersizing. I will try again next week thank you all again0
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I started at Lucille Roberts and had the time of my life even though I didn't have a perfect body. There are many women's only facilities; can you travel to find one ?0
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Trust us, no one is looking at you. If there are a few that happen to look your way and make a point to let you know they are looking (for whatever reason) ignore them, they more than likely are not serious about being there anyway.
Sometimes I might notice someone that reminds me of my former self, they look nervous and like they would rather be anywhere but there - my thoughts are I just I hope they keep coming . . . then I am back to what I am there for.
If you really feel nervous or out of place, use that as motivation. Go and keep going so if you have a set schedule for your gym visits and keep logging your food - they will see the change! Best revenge/motivation!
I never noticed anyone, until a few people wished me Happy New Year and commented on the fact the I had been coming for 2+ years - it was a great feeling that they knew me but I had no idea who they were, not even from just coming and going. Most of us at the gym are not paying that much attention to others.0 -
To be honest- most genuine people do not make fun of anyone and considering the fact that you are trying to improve on yourself is another add on. Accept yourself the way you are and let go of the fear. I know it's a cliche but it really is what's on the inside matters and on the inside we are all equals.
If you keep this feeling attached with the gym- you won't be able to have fun and get a therapeutic experience that gym gives us. It's a feeling of change when you feel the first pump and feeling of hatred when you lose the damn pump. You know what I gotta go work on my pump. Ok just joking.
But trust all of the above. Gym is a place where you are going to better yourself, you never know who else you might inspire. Believe me- confidence comes from within.
Good Luck0 -
Get professional help. This is not a normal/acceptable level of anxiety.-2
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I've been there, it's terrifying to walk into a gym when you're overweight, and people may be watching and... they're not. And it's ok.
The best thing I've found for me is to wear a headset - instant way to not need to listen or talk to anyone. If you can afford it, see about getting a trainer maybe once or twice a month. I learned lots of new things I wouldn't have tried on my own (you should have seen my look the first time she put me on an exercise ball), and it made me feel more comfortable because now I knew what I was doing when I would go down to the weights area (cardio was upstairs).
In retrospect, I found when I was down in the weight room that watching the guys make fools out of themselves was a great way to pass time (not all of them do, but there's usually always one gem, it seemed).0 -
FlabToFitty wrote: »Thank you all so so so much you have no idea how much this means to me. I went in today put my kit on saw some guys and fhen left without even excersizing. I will try again next week thank you all again
Next week? Why not tomorrow?0 -
First, no body builder was built looking like they do now, in the gym. Every body was a beginning body when they started. Look at the pic of Joe Manganiello ("True Blood," "Magic Mike) from high school and now. He built the body he has now.
And second, from a long time gym goer, I have no idea what anyone else looks like. I'm focused on me and my workout.
Third, you're there to improve your health. If anyone has any judgement about that, screw them. I know, easier said than done, but you're doing this for you. Focusing on not letting any superficial morons (if you come across any) deter you. Be like Pheobe, she's there for the experience and doesn't care what anyone thinks!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6HuqNdQJSTY&nohtml5=False0 -
FlabToFitty wrote: »Guys I'm so ashamed of my body and now I'm too scared to go to the gym even though I made a membership last week I've alway been overweight and had social anxiety and had very few male friends because I've always felt uncomfortable so now I can't even workout in front of them I've spent so much money and really want to change but my anxiety is holding me back please help
Please don't worry about working out in front of other people. Most guys are too busy looking at themselves in the mirror and kissing their own biceps than worry if your looking at them. They KNOW they look good and who's opinion is more important then their own?? LOL The skinny mini's in the gym are only interested in catching the eye of the guys who are staring the the mirror, hoping they'll see their reflections in the mirror. Us average people who need to be there are invisible to the beautiful masses. LOL. I write this all in jest, so please people.. easy on the comments but remember, your working out for yourself. Keep that in the front of your mind.0 -
FlabToFitty wrote: »Guys I'm so ashamed of my body and now I'm too scared to go to the gym even though I made a membership last week I've alway been overweight and had social anxiety and had very few male friends because I've always felt uncomfortable so now I can't even workout in front of them I've spent so much money and really want to change but my anxiety is holding me back please help
What have you done to address your social anxiety in general? Have you had treatment for that? What would your therapist recommend?
Doesn't your gym membership include a free orientation? Having staff walk you around may ease your anxiety. Also, taking a few sessions with a personal trainer will further boost your comfort level.0 -
No one cares or notices. This is just one way your head tries to get in your own way! Silence those thoughts and go to the gym. Give yourself a treat when you're done.0
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