SO ASHAMED TO WORK OUT IN FRONT OF MEN

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Guys I'm so ashamed of my body and now I'm too scared to go to the gym even though I made a membership last week I've alway been overweight and had social anxiety and had very few male friends because I've always felt uncomfortable so now I can't even workout in front of them I've spent so much money and really want to change but my anxiety is holding me back please help
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  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
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    From my experience, most people are in the gym to work on themselves, not worry about other people.

    I know it's scary. But scary means it's important. You're just going to have to do it scared. And do it again. And again. Until it's not scary anymore.

    Good luck!
  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
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    Do you have someone who could go with you the first few times? Does the gym you joined offer you a free session with a trainer or anything like that? I think if you're not alone that first time you utilize the facility, it might make it much easier for you to start doing it yourself.

    I had massive anxieties like this myself, and I actually paid for a gym membership for over a year before I started using it...then when I finally did, I realized I had caused myself anxiety over nothing! I couldn't go alone at first, but after going 2-3 times with support I was able to do it myself.
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
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    From my experience, most people are in the gym to work on themselves, not worry about other people.

    This exactly. If it gives you that much anxiety, though, you may want to work out at home. I realize that advice is probably not the greatest considering you already got a gym membership.

    I prefer going in the early am (4am ish) because it's just not as busy. With fewer people it could help your anxiety.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    I know anxiety is another thing, but I weighed 280 lbs and went to the gym, and if I can say one thing, its that nobody cares or even knows you are there lol I pay hardly any attention to other members as do they to me. :) We are our own worst enemies, and our minds love to overthink things. :) Now ask yourself, are you really going to let this feeling shut you down from going to the gym and working out? ^_^
  • NancyMizuno
    NancyMizuno Posts: 8 Member
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    Trust me, no one is looking at you. They are focused on themselves, that's why people exercise. And, if they are looking at you, they are likely thinking, "good for her for loving herself enough to do the hard work!"

    I have been going to the gym for several months, several times a week, at first I thought everyone was looking at me and judging. Then, I decided I was going to consciously count how many people really looked at me. I made eye contact with 3 people that day, 2 were women, and all 3 smiled. :)
  • Mike02209
    Mike02209 Posts: 301 Member
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    Not sure where, but I recently saw something along the lines of:

    Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of an unemployed person at a job fair.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,145 Member
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    You don't have to join a gym. There are plenty of workout videos online that you can do at home. You can do your stuff at home where you feel comfy and safe, then when you're ready you can try out a gym or out in public.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    I remember my heart racing the first time I really used the free-weights room by myself. I bought a few shirts that were cute and loose that covered my bum so at least I could have control over that. Then I just got to business. I didn't look around much and avoided eye contact. Soon enough my body started changing, I felt more confident, and if someone wanted to say "hello" I didn't avoid them like the plague. Maybe the first couple weeks will be tough but think of what you'll be doing for your body and your health!

    Even now, there are some awkward booty lifts I do in a weight room full of men. I just don't care because I want the best booty I can have and am not going to let a few glances get in the way of that.
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    maybe go to classes at the gym for a while until you get comfortable there and start meeting people and seeing everyone else that goes, there will be people of all shapes and sizes and anxiety levels. you are not alone. Or just go to the gym and do something you are comfortable with for a while until you relax a little. like maybe there is a treadmill in a far corner so you can just get used to the surroundings. You don't have to just start working out right in front of everyone , you can ease into it.
  • clairem1122
    clairem1122 Posts: 17 Member
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    I only started the gym 2 weeks ago. Had just done little HIIT sessions alone at home previously. I've ALWAYS been terrified of the gym, just the thought made me feel sick. But I but the bullet, but only with the help of my partner who comes with me. First day was scary but walked in and saw no one looked at me, everyone was just doing their own thing. Then I felt a million times better.
    My advice, is get a friend, colleague or partner to join with you and take your headphones. You'll be fine. Don't let your anxieties stop you achieving your goal :) x
  • jandsstevenson887
    jandsstevenson887 Posts: 296 Member
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    I'm pretty sure most of the guys are too busy grunting and dropping the weights that they don't even notice. Just kidding guys :wink:
  • elyphant23
    elyphant23 Posts: 10 Member
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    I used to have panic attacks so bad that I couldn't leave my house, but the only way to conquer your anxiety is by facing it. Don't let your anxiety hold you back, you can do this. Go early in the morning, or late at night when its not as busy - find someone to go with you. I promise you that when you start going, you'll become more comfortable at the gym and forget about your anxiety and the other people there.

    You can do this!!!
  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
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    Most people are focused on themselves. You can always go at a time with fewer people. Listen to music so you can exist in your own little bubble and mostly ignore others. I also like the suggestion to get a trainer to show you the basics of all of the machines so you're at least confident with the equipment. And make sure you follow your gym's etiquette when it comes to putting away weights and wiping down equipment.
  • smcrimmon84
    smcrimmon84 Posts: 135 Member
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    Most people are focused on themselves, not on you, I promise. But if you are uncomfortable, there are a few ways to help with that -

    -How do you feel about working out at home?
    -Do you have a friend who could go with you the first few times to ease some anxiety?
    -Go really early/really late while it isnt as busy until you feel more at home.
    -Several gyms I have belonged to have a *Womens Only* room with weight machines, treadmill, elliptical, etc. See if this is an option anywhere around. I'm not self conscious but tend to go in there because it is quieter!

    You can do this - promise!
  • T0M_K
    T0M_K Posts: 7,526 Member
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    who gives a rats *kitten* what people think. this time is about you and you are awesome for doing it. don't let fear keep you from your goals......EVER.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
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    Mike02209 wrote: »
    Not sure where, but I recently saw something along the lines of:

    Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of an unemployed person at a job fair.

    Just a personal story here: I'm a college professor in my 50s, and I have (free) access that is frequenlty full of buff college students. Here's what I overheard one day--unaware that I was around the corner and could hear them:
    Buff Boy #1: "Did you see that fat mama in lane 2?"
    Buff Boy #2: "You mean the one who kicks my *kitten* on every lap?"

  • MamaMc3
    MamaMc3 Posts: 213 Member
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    In my experience, everyone just does their own thing at the gym. People don't even really make eye contact with one another. I promise that this is something that's so much worse in your head than it is in reality. Just go once, and you'll see it's no big deal! For your first visit, maybe schedule a time with a trainer to show you the equipment. A lot of gyms will do that for free when you sign up. You may be less likely to skip because you have an appointment, and you may feel more comfortable if you know the ropes a little before you are on your own.
  • wonko221
    wonko221 Posts: 292 Member
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    Just saw this on another post here today, and i think it's quite appropriate:

    tumblr_nwor4bHnjc1rmagk1o1_1280.png

    It's good that you're anxious. It means this matters to you. Go out there and prove to yourself that you're better than the worries.
  • KrystinaMTL
    KrystinaMTL Posts: 1,338 Member
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    From my experience, most people are in the gym to work on themselves, not worry about other people.

    I know it's scary. But scary means it's important. You're just going to have to do it scared. And do it again. And again. Until it's not scary anymore.

    Good luck!

    Exactly THIS !!!
    One step in front of the other.
    What others will see in you is courage.
    Courage of challenging yourself to a better you, a better life.
    You are not alone.
  • FlabToFitty
    FlabToFitty Posts: 70 Member
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    Thank you all so so so much you have no idea how much this means to me. I went in today put my kit on saw some guys and fhen left without even excersizing. I will try again next week thank you all again