WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2016
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janetr ... Praying for your grandson.
Arewethereyet ... Welcome back! I do not take joy in hearing of other's struggles ... But it does help to be reminded that no one does this perfectly. Thanks for sharing.
Going for day two of staying on track ...
Beth near Buffalo1 -
Barbie ~ Love the pic of your Dad.
Heather ~ The horses in the pasture looks so peaceful. What a nice scenery for you to gaze on.
Janet ~ I do hope your grandson gets the help he needs. I know that overcoming addiction is such a hard thing.
Went to the DS's for a cook out last night. I do not like crowds and that was about what it was like. Too much food and too much noise.
Carol
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Janetr OKC You were his safety net.
Praying for you, and for him.
Joyce and Becca Thinking of you and your husbands. Becca, biopsy results this week?
@Gloworm56 Gloria crying in WA I teared up reading your poignant post, and I am still boohooing
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Nobody can tell you how much you will love your children and especially your grandchildren, nor how much you will miss your mother when she is gone. When my mom was failing, I said, "Mom, you just can't die!" and she said, "I know, honey, and that worries me a little bit."
I survived her passing even though I was sure I would not, and I was right next to her on her bed when she died. It was a privilege to be there for her, and I will always be grateful I could spend the last month of her life with her. She was a wise, witty, wonderful, wacky woman.
She helped me by getting me to start cleaning out her clothes closet before she died. I loved that she couldn't part with her fancy jelly shoes, so I kept those and some other favorites until she was gone. I am not sure I could have faced that closet if she hadn't already gotten me started on it.
Anyway, I will be mentally sending you a warm towel just out of the dryer to drape around your shoulders, a cup of your favorite beverage to sip on, and lots of kleenex to catch the tears. Lots of prayers for your lovely Laura. Go to her now if you can - listen to your instincts.
Everyone else - greetings from Karen in lush and verdant Virginia0 -
arewethereyet, it is so great to see you jumping in with women ages 50+....this thread has been going since December 2008....I found it in February 2009 and when the woman who started it, got busy with other things, she asked me to take the lead and I've been reading and posting and starting a new thread every month since then...the women on this thread are the sisters I never had and they have and endless willingness to listen to each other 24/7Janetr OKC, best wishes to your grandson on his journey to sobriety. I know many people who have stayed clean and sober for decades after several false starts. Be good to yourselves and stay in the moment and don't make up any stories with bad endings.Gloria, I hope you can find a way to go see your mother. It will be a priceless memory for you....and if you can't go see her, can you phone her often?Pip, wow, what a bill from the hospital...I hope you'll let us know how much the insurance covers..we've had good insurance coverage of all Jake's heart related surgeries and procedures and the biggest expenses turned out to be the travel to and from Seattle to the hospital and doctor. Today is the last day of the month and time to reflect on what you've accomplished and make a plan for next month. I'll start the new thread and post the link to it just before my bedtime so be looking for it around 6 PM PDT.
Barbie from beautiful sunny NW Washington 
Resolutions for May (with end of the month comments)
*weight training twice a week (for the first two weeks, but only once a week since)
*30+ minutes of garden puttering three days a week (yes)
*daily meditation--gradually increasing time (started at 5 minutes and am up to 9 minutes 5 seconds)
*continue sorting and discarding photos (doing this almost daily--we're up to 1968)
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Hope everyone had I lovely Memorial Day. I loved seeing and hearing about your loved ones who served.
Carey - Northern Alberta1 -
Gloria - So sorry to hear about Laura. So great that you love your carer mum so much. Yes, go if you possibly can, but don't beat yourself up if you can't. I know money is tight for you and you have big responsibilities. :flowerforyou:
I always wished that I had had a better mother and that I loved her more. I was very jealous of friends who had great relationships with their mum. My mother loved me, I'm sure of that, but she was very flawed and not popular with close family. My brother and I were able to be with her at her death, which was a good thing and I had more sympathy for her as she grew older. The upside of not being so attached to her was that I did not miss her when she died. I now think of her fondly, but with no pangs.
DH has gone off to get his hair cut. :bigsmile: I have lovely dark blue toenails.
Love Heather UK1 -
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Gloria - So sorry to hear about Laura. So great that you love your carer mum so much. Yes, go if you possibly can, but don't beat yourself up if you can't. I know money is tight for you and you have big responsibilities. :flowerforyou:
I always wished that I had had a better mother and that I loved her more. I was very jealous of friends who had great relationships with their mum. My mother loved me, I'm sure of that, but she was very flawed and not popular with close family. My brother and I were able to be with her at her death, which was a good thing and I had more sympathy for her as she grew older. The upside of not being so attached to her was that I did not miss her when she died. I now think of her fondly, but with no pangs.
DH has gone off to get his hair cut. :bigsmile: I have lovely dark blue toenails.
Love Heather UK
Heather UK, I am sorry you didn't have a better relationship with your mother, and if my post was at all hurtful to you, I am so sorry. I know not everyone has a wonderful mother or mother figure. From your posts, I would say you are none the worse for it. Your posts are warm, witty, wonderful, and wacky...
Cheers,
Karen in Virginia1 -
morning peeps-1
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((hugs))) Today we shall do a lot of waiting around for a phone call. Might come today, or tomorrow, or later in the week. The doctors have his blood test results from last Friday, we rec'd an email of them. Lots of numbers that don't make much sense to us. Life on hold. I cooked and baked most of yesterday, (it seemed). Making muffins, making jello, making my mint tea, making my great lunch, preparing meals for husband, and son.
I will let you all know, when I know, what our next step shall be concerning my husband. He has fought so hard to recover, to have it fail now. I am seeing so many symptoms from before when we were waiting for a liver.
(((hugs Janetr about your grandson))) It's great that he has recognized he needs help and has taken it.
When I have all these struggles going on, the ONE thing I have control over is my food intake. The one thing that is mine. Crazy as it sounds, I know to be healthy for my husband and son, I have to take time to think of me. Honestly I do just go thru the motions of eating healthy, but I am numb from everything. My aches and pains mean nothing, and I don't dare mention them. My husbands body is rejecting his liver, and what....I have an upset stomach from something I ate?? It's silly to even mention it. Hmm I seem mad, and I suppose I am.
Becca
Need a cuppa
in Oregon2 -
Janet in OKC: As women who've had to work hard with changing our own lives and developing healthy eating patterns, we know how hard it is to turn away from unhealthy behavior and work on a new way of life. I think we have this in common with people who successfully get off of substance abuse. I hope your grandson makes a go of it this time and is able to stay clean after he is back on his own. :flowerforyou:
Heather: Your view of horses is lovely. I'm so happy that you were able to have a chat with our Dh and are feeling better about your upcoming trip. :haert:
I've been interrupted by this and that & need to get going for a haricut appointment.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
Tibetan proverb: "The secret to living well and long is: Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..."
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
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thank you so much for the warm welcome.
Carey - Northern Alberta - I have gone to Vecova for some beginning exercises last spring (oops I mean 2 years ago) after I had lost too much weight. DH didn't feel right about it, so I thought I wouldn't be as vigorous with my food choices since I had been on Ideal Protein. I never did the maintenance and I just gained, and gained and gained!!
In the last 2 years I've lost both my parents. It was extremely difficult! For my dad, I had been in touch with him every Wednesday for about 6 months prior. He had bone cancer. I was able to be with him and my family back in Quebec for his last 5 days among us. It still was so difficult as he was on such heavy morphine we could hardly communicate with him. I sat at his bedside holding his hands, touching his face and telling him how much I loved him.
For my mom - I can hardly explain how it was as she had advanced Alzheimer. My DH and I would return back home to visit with our parents every 3 or 4 months as they were either sick or in their 90's. Less than a week before my mom passed away I was impressed to go and spend some precious time with her. I went and spent 3 full days with her talking to her as if she could understand my love for her, I sang to her, read books which I had sent to her that were about relationships and then would carry on about some of our own experiences from my childhood and on and on. I left and 2 days after I returned mom did pass away but I will always be so grateful for those special days which we spent together. Somehow I felt we were communicating spirit to spirit or heart to heart:)
Laura's daughter I'll definitely be praying for both of you. Go with your heart. xoxo
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Joyce – Maybe you should share your concerns with the Head Nurse; quite often what they have to say might make the MD decide to keep him a little longer so they can make sure that you’ll be able to care for him at home. Other than that, if you can afford it, you could ask for the name of a good nurse who might come in during the day and help you out with any medical requirements that concerns you. Better yet, is to confront the MD with your concerns about the change in diet and the reason he plans on discharge him. Sometimes one will improve better in his/her own settings. Lower bed, easier to get in and out of, moving around – to help get rid of the gas that builds up from the surgery; which he might not pass with others coming and going. Husband needs to discuss his concerns with the MD.
Michele in NC – Not all azaleas are deciduous; some might lose enough to look ratty or they lose the color in them. Your nursery should be able to tell you this and what kind of soil should be planted in. You would need to cut them back as soon as they drop all the leaves.
I live in zone 8; so what might flourish here; might not do so in cooler weather.
Finally2002016 – We have to remember that most times we have put on weight because we don’t lose that baby fat; and our food habits don’t change from eating for 2 to eating only for one. It keeps on piling up; until one day we realize we are at a point of telling ourselves that we won’t get up to a certain weight. I know I did; I’ve seen my DDnL#1 do this … took her 15 years to gain; but it will also take her a couple of years to lose it. Hopefully she will change her eating habit and not put it back on as soon as she stops this 'diet' she is on. She wants a ‘magic’ pill that she can take on night and wake up ‘thin’ the next day. All of us are at different places in our ‘journey’ and the ‘journey’ becomes a ‘change in life-style. Keeping track of everything that passes through you lips will help you lose weight. You need to talk to your MD about the caloric intake you should be eating in order to lose weight and not just ‘maintain’ your weight. You’ve come to the right place for encouragement. Tell us a little about yourself, family, pets, hobbies and what you prefer to be called. Set reasonable goals for each month that you can celebrate and exercise (no matter how you hate it). And expected weigh lost is between 1 to 2.5 pounds to get to your goals. NSV (like losing inches) are also important. Increase your water intake as well. With a minimum of 8 8-ounce glasses of water.
Pip and Katla – I don’t know what state Pip lives in; but, the other driver SHOULD be responsible for Kirby’s medical bills, loss of income, loss of companionship with his wife, and pain and suffering; or you can take that to court if he refuses or doesn’t have any insurance. Your ‘auto’ insurance be willing to pay out for medical payments, if he doesn’t. Make sure if you ‘settle’ or ‘go to court’ and get more than you have to use to get your money back for Kirby. The insurance company is going to want the other insurance company to pay anything they have paid out. Especially, if you don’t have any but health insurance – they will definitely want their money repaid when they find out the injuries were caused by an auto accident. Pain and suffering, property, loss of companionship, and loss of income should also be added above the amount you ask for when dealing with settle with the other company. Some companies have a pre-written release on the back of a check they might send to you, that if you endorse it could preclude you for settling the entire case. This is when you need to have an attorney to ‘represent you’, sometimes they can give him permission to block that portion out. Most attorneys will represent you for 33.3% of the settlement or verdict and answer any questions you have. If it has to be taken to court; they will ask for all things you have lost from the wreck. For example he might ask for a million dollars and then ‘hope’ they will settle for less. But, bottom line, yes his insurance will pay you (if he has any). If not, and you have ‘uninsured motorist insurance on your policy or Med Pay) they will pay up to the amount that you have for insurance against someone not having insurance. If you have to use your health insurance, they also will go after the other person to have what they pay out paid back to you. This also needs to be taken into account when you settle or take them to court. Get your own copy of the police report, make notes from it (such as whether he was charge for any infraction, such as speeding or not giving Kirby the right of road, or turning in front of him). A lot of health insurance companies will look to you to pay them back out of any settlement agree you make with the other party. This needs to be taken into mind. $90,000 ± for the hospital alone might mean the other party won’t have enough insurance to pay for this. Again, if you decide to take the driver to court and you are awarded, let’s say $500,000 … one of the things your lawyer will check is what property he might own; and put a lien on it so that ‘if’ he sells it or is ‘forced’ to sell it to make up the difference he will. Unless he doesn’t have a pot to even piss in.
Heather – Is this a ‘group’ cruise? Then maybe you ought to say that once he gets there he will enjoy it; if it is a couple cruise; and, you are looking forward to it … go and leave him home. You never can tell he might decide to join you at some point where the ship docks for trips you can take on ‘day trips’. We’re taking our DGDs to the beach at the end of July. Our DMGD might decide she does not want to go, as she did last year. That was ‘ok’ with us; we did not push it and really had a lot of fun with only the 2 of them DYGD and DYGD. DYGD behaved herself; and, we all went places that all of us enjoyed doing.
Welcome to all the ‘newbies’. Remember to go to barbiecat’s post for the next month; can you believe it is already June? I can’t!
Got up this AM to have coffee (hot) with husband; was so sleepy I could not drink it; instead I sent it spilling all over my lap. Thankfully, I had a blanket on, and it only burnt a little.
Lenora0 -
Good morning. I'm allllmost through my obligatory end-of-month work crunch. See you on the June thread!0
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Hi Everyone! This seems like such a great group - can I be one of the cool kids?
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What a difference a day makes. He is getting up on his own, we took a long walk in the hall. He is emptying his bag by himself and on a soft diet. The ostomy nurse saw us. Very informative. Apparently the bags available to the public are a little bit fancier than what is ordered in a hospital. They also will see him 2 weeks after discharge and then as needed in their clinic. She will change his bag tomorrow and let us observe. So far his belly isn't tolerating very well the biscuits and gravy for breakfast. He got that order that he could eat and went gong ho and didn't think with his mind.
Getting excited for you Heather!
JOyce, Indiana1 -
Thank you Joyce! Think of you often.
Karen - I wasn't upset by your post. I did love my mum, but I guess I loved her despite her faults. I am very happy that some people experienced a wonderful relationship with their mothers, but I know more people who didn't. I guess damaged people tend to find each other, so I am not a representative sample. I tried to be a good mum, but ended up being just good enough. I am trying very hard to be a great grandmother. So far it is a great success! But I can't compete with DH. !!!!! :bigsmile:
My hair is trimmed. I had a long "chat" with the cruise people about what is and is not included on the cruise. I still have not had an answer about the complementary water. How much and when it is renewed? We are taking our own kettle, tea bags, mugs and milk. I have just ordered more milk tubes. I prefer to not have a big invoice at the end. It's a matter of pride and principle. We are taking our pastis with us. :drinker:
Love Heather UK
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@cityjaneLondon Heather Thanks, I was feeling a bit worried. I was just an adequate mother myself but I am a much better grammy. And my ex (Grampa Rick) is also not to be competed with. He comes from a long line of really wonderful grampas. I'm a little jealous of him, but I like him too much to be mad.
Have a lovely cruise with your DH and your blue toenails! It is so exciting! We went on a Christmas Market river cruise December 2015 in France and Germany, and it was very nice! But the best trip I ever took was with my mom and my son, who was then 12. We went on a Galapagos cruise. That was in 1990. My son fell in love with the ship captain's daughter Paola, his first love. It was the sweetest thing, and a delight for our group to discreetly observe. Most of the group were in their 70's & 80's and were just captured by the blossoming romance. The Galapagos were magical and will always be the trip to beat. Paola was my son's measuring stick for all women to come, and he was fortunate enough to find my daughter-in-law, who is better than any of us deserve. She is an Amazon!
Joyce So glad hubby is recovering well. It's so great that he is gung ho even if he did make an unwise food choice. It must mean he is feeling much better! Yay!
Hi @solieco1 and @lgilchrist!
Michele I wonder if hardy camellias might work?
https://www.google.com/search?q=small+camellia+zone+7&client=safari&rls=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjD8OL274TNAhWEdD4KHXRABKIQsAQIZA&biw=1228&bih=743
Karen in Virginia0 -
Karen - Galapagos sounds wonderful, especially for a Darwin fan. ( I once nearly wrote a play about him and Karl Marx, who both had terrible "birth pangs" about their seminal works ) It was called "Barnacles and Bumboils"
I really want to do the Antarctic region - Falklands, South Georgia, the Darwin Channel etc. DH is not keen. I have to persuade him that he won't pine away with me gone. You would think he would find something else to do!
Love to all, Heather UK1
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