Dealing with people that don't get it.
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No one at my workplace has commented anything because we don't have the culture of commenting on anything personal, except one coworker/friend who's much closer to me. Like a family member he said I am too skinny already!
Several family members have told me to stop losing more weight because I look too skinny already. They stopped talking about my weight when they saw how much I ate. I could eat a horse on special occasion days. LOL. It's kinda confusing to them.2 -
In my workplace there is constant food. It's the norm for someone to have a bagel w cream cheese, donut, muffin on their plate along with the starbucks drink. I just know my body and I will gain weight in the blink of an eye if I ate like that. When I'm the only one that passes on it because I just had breakfast at home... People talk. People say things like.... But it's here, take some for later, etc. it gets exhausting. Same handful of people that offer just to get a reaction. I'm convinced. Thanks for the responses.1
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I don't even acknowledge or comment anything about anyone elses' choices. Not my monkeys and not my circus. That doesn't stop people from commenting on my choices is what I was getting at. I was wondering if my "issue" was unique.paperpudding wrote: »duckforceone wrote: »tell them : Because unlike you, i refuse to help this country descend into a fat epidemic.
If you can't respect me saying no, then i have no respect for you at all.
seriously, stop being a douche and offering me unhealthy food. If you want to be a good person, start bringing in healthy alternatives instead.
Well OP said he wasn't sanctimonious so these replies wouldn't work for a non sanctimonious person, nor would they stop niggling or comments or eye rolling.
I would roll my eyes at anyone saying such 'on your high horse' comments too.
I am firmly with the others who say respond with a friendly No thanks, or I might have some later or I've brought my lunch from home or something equally short and mild.
That has always worked for me, along with occaisonally haveing a small amount of something or talking it home to ' have later' ( may or may not actually take any or eat it at home if I do)
THIS, OP. Is your objection about what people think of your diet, or is it really what you think of their diet?
Other people are not being douches for making different choices for themselves.
Other people are not being douches for eating food you don't want to eat yourself, or for offering you a piece of whatever they're eating.
You can say no. It doesn't have to be a big, hurtful sarcastic production where you're trying to make some sort of point that you're more VIRTUOUS than other people.
Your choices are your choices. Their choices are their choices. Everyone can make different choices and you can talk about it with each other respectfully without it having to be Diet Thunderdome. Or alternatively, you can not engage in a conversation about your diet, which for many of us is preferable than silly judgement in the first place.
Your insistence that you're just a blameless victim in all this would hold more water if:
1. You hadn't kicked this whole thing off soliciting ideas for sarcastic things to say to people
2. You hadn't called people "douches" for bringing unhealthy food in
3. You hadn't suggested that "good people" eat healthy (I guess people who don't eat healthy are not good people, huh?)
4. You hadn't raised the spectre of the "obesity epidemic" as somehow relevant to WHAT YOU'RE EATING.
It's pretty obvious that this is at least in part that you're judging what OTHER PEOPLE are eating. Maybe your co-workers or friends are picking up on your judgemental attitude and that's what they're rolling their eyes at.
I contend that it's possible you're the one who doesn't "get it." In all seriousness and with all the compassion for you that I'm capable of (at this point, less), I sincerely urge you to reflect on your attitude as objectively as possible. You seem to be conflating a lot of different ideas- Some people say "yuck" to a green smoothie (honestly: as valid as saying "yuck" to pork rinds. They're entitled to an opinion that's different from yours)
- That means that they are somehow trying to force you to eat something you don't want to eat -- this actually is a different thing than saying they don't want to eat what you're eating.
- That if they eat food you don't approve of in front of you it's valid for you judge them as "douches" and not "good" people. That's not even proportionate to their gentle even if incessant joshing about "yuck" on a smoothie, man.
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I think everyone should watch Shirley MacLaine in Guarding Tess (1994) at some point in their life. Her character shows how to be gracious and devastating at once. Sarcasm is the refuge of the young. There is no defense however against firm graciousness.
Your food choices are not the business of fools, so the less said about it to them the better.2 -
We get free food at meetings all the time, none of it is healthy. When people make fun of my eating, I just join in and make fun of myself. I might even act like a rabbit while eating my vegetables. It's all fun and games, most people are not trying to be mean. Relax, enjoy life.3
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??? okkkkkayyyy.... I never said #3 for sure so I just stopped reading. And ummm.... Obesity is an epidemic. Sorry if that's cynical.
I don't even acknowledge or comment anything about anyone elses' choices. Not my monkeys and not my circus. That doesn't stop people from commenting on my choices is what I was getting at. I was wondering if my "issue" was unique.paperpudding wrote: »duckforceone wrote: »tell them : Because unlike you, i refuse to help this country descend into a fat epidemic.
If you can't respect me saying no, then i have no respect for you at all.
seriously, stop being a douche and offering me unhealthy food. If you want to be a good person, start bringing in healthy alternatives instead.
Well OP said he wasn't sanctimonious so these replies wouldn't work for a non sanctimonious person, nor would they stop niggling or comments or eye rolling.
I would roll my eyes at anyone saying such 'on your high horse' comments too.
I am firmly with the others who say respond with a friendly No thanks, or I might have some later or I've brought my lunch from home or something equally short and mild.
That has always worked for me, along with occaisonally haveing a small amount of something or talking it home to ' have later' ( may or may not actually take any or eat it at home if I do)
THIS, OP. Is your objection about what people think of your diet, or is it really what you think of their diet?
Other people are not being douches for making different choices for themselves.
Other people are not being douches for eating food you don't want to eat yourself, or for offering you a piece of whatever they're eating.
You can say no. It doesn't have to be a big, hurtful sarcastic production where you're trying to make some sort of point that you're more VIRTUOUS than other people.
Your choices are your choices. Their choices are their choices. Everyone can make different choices and you can talk about it with each other respectfully without it having to be Diet Thunderdome. Or alternatively, you can not engage in a conversation about your diet, which for many of us is preferable than silly judgement in the first place.
Your insistence that you're just a blameless victim in all this would hold more water if:
1. You hadn't kicked this whole thing off soliciting ideas for sarcastic things to say to people
2. You hadn't called people "douches" for bringing unhealthy food in
3. You hadn't suggested that "good people" eat healthy (I guess people who don't eat healthy are not good people, huh?)
4. You hadn't raised the spectre of the "obesity epidemic" as somehow relevant to WHAT YOU'RE EATING.
It's pretty obvious that this is at least in part that you're judging what OTHER PEOPLE are eating. Maybe your co-workers or friends are picking up on your judgemental attitude and that's what they're rolling their eyes at.
I contend that it's possible you're the one who doesn't "get it." In all seriousness and with all the compassion for you that I'm capable of (at this point, less), I sincerely urge you to reflect on your attitude as objectively as possible. You seem to be conflating a lot of different ideas- Some people say "yuck" to a green smoothie (honestly: as valid as saying "yuck" to pork rinds. They're entitled to an opinion that's different from yours)
- That means that they are somehow trying to force you to eat something you don't want to eat -- this actually is a different thing than saying they don't want to eat what you're eating.
- That if they eat food you don't approve of in front of you it's valid for you judge them as "douches" and not "good" people. That's not even proportionate to their gentle even if incessant joshing about "yuck" on a smoothie, man.
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i dont have anyone who judges me. i work from home, so that eliminates that issue, but when i go out with friends i plan for t, and eat and drink what i want. my boyfriend knows how hard ive worked to lose weight, and is supportive (but i dont try to change what or how he eats - i just eat less of it). he does good about letting me watch him cook and hell measure stuff so i can jot down the recipe of whatever he makes.
seriously though - if you dont make a big deal about it - no one else will either. especially once youve been doing it awhile.0 -
I've noticed that when I'm being rude is when I get rude remarks back. I don't even mean to be, but sometimes when we are excited about new lifestyle changes we can be jerks. "Oh, no thanks, doughnuts are terrible for you." Or "Starbucks is so unhealthy, I can't believe I used to put that crap in my body!" It's easy to say things that make others feel like you're judging them, to make your diet a topic of discussion, either by rude comments or by just talking about it all the time. So, if you feel like you're getting a lot of judgement or something from a lot of different people, try to take a long look at what you're doing. Sometimes it's easy to not realize our own contribution. As far as the rest, I would suggest just saying no thanks. There is zero reason to say anything more unless you wlecome opinions about it.9
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Oh one reason to not be to cray cray about your retorts, I have fallen from manyyyyy a "diet" and all my "oh I don't eat THAT!" came back to bite me when i didn't eat like that anymore, and they rubbed it in my face.......7
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When given a hard time about workingout and eating low carb I just tell them no excuses excepted I am following my Doctors orders sometimes that shuts them up. Do not let others sabatoge your Hard work do what is right for you1
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??? okkkkkayyyy.... I never said #3 for sure so I just stopped reading. And ummm.... Obesity is an epidemic. Sorry if that's cynical.
I don't even acknowledge or comment anything about anyone elses' choices. Not my monkeys and not my circus. That doesn't stop people from commenting on my choices is what I was getting at. I was wondering if my "issue" was unique.paperpudding wrote: »duckforceone wrote: »tell them : Because unlike you, i refuse to help this country descend into a fat epidemic.
If you can't respect me saying no, then i have no respect for you at all.
seriously, stop being a douche and offering me unhealthy food. If you want to be a good person, start bringing in healthy alternatives instead.
Well OP said he wasn't sanctimonious so these replies wouldn't work for a non sanctimonious person, nor would they stop niggling or comments or eye rolling.
I would roll my eyes at anyone saying such 'on your high horse' comments too.
I am firmly with the others who say respond with a friendly No thanks, or I might have some later or I've brought my lunch from home or something equally short and mild.
That has always worked for me, along with occaisonally haveing a small amount of something or talking it home to ' have later' ( may or may not actually take any or eat it at home if I do)
THIS, OP. Is your objection about what people think of your diet, or is it really what you think of their diet?
Other people are not being douches for making different choices for themselves.
Other people are not being douches for eating food you don't want to eat yourself, or for offering you a piece of whatever they're eating.
You can say no. It doesn't have to be a big, hurtful sarcastic production where you're trying to make some sort of point that you're more VIRTUOUS than other people.
Your choices are your choices. Their choices are their choices. Everyone can make different choices and you can talk about it with each other respectfully without it having to be Diet Thunderdome. Or alternatively, you can not engage in a conversation about your diet, which for many of us is preferable than silly judgement in the first place.
Your insistence that you're just a blameless victim in all this would hold more water if:
1. You hadn't kicked this whole thing off soliciting ideas for sarcastic things to say to people
2. You hadn't called people "douches" for bringing unhealthy food in
3. You hadn't suggested that "good people" eat healthy (I guess people who don't eat healthy are not good people, huh?)
4. You hadn't raised the spectre of the "obesity epidemic" as somehow relevant to WHAT YOU'RE EATING.
It's pretty obvious that this is at least in part that you're judging what OTHER PEOPLE are eating. Maybe your co-workers or friends are picking up on your judgemental attitude and that's what they're rolling their eyes at.
I contend that it's possible you're the one who doesn't "get it." In all seriousness and with all the compassion for you that I'm capable of (at this point, less), I sincerely urge you to reflect on your attitude as objectively as possible. You seem to be conflating a lot of different ideas- Some people say "yuck" to a green smoothie (honestly: as valid as saying "yuck" to pork rinds. They're entitled to an opinion that's different from yours)
- That means that they are somehow trying to force you to eat something you don't want to eat -- this actually is a different thing than saying they don't want to eat what you're eating.
- That if they eat food you don't approve of in front of you it's valid for you judge them as "douches" and not "good" people. That's not even proportionate to their gentle even if incessant joshing about "yuck" on a smoothie, man.
Yes, some of that was sarcastic suggestions offered by another poster but you did, in your OP, ask for sarcastic retorts - right there you are off on wrong foot.
The challenge is how to handle this without offending others or being a sanctimonious high horse, isn't it? Not how to have a oneupmanship clever answer.
And yes, obesity is an epidemic - but doesn't doesn't mean making sarcastic comments to other people is going to solve it.
And you do seem to be taking yourself too seriously and trying to prove the merits of your diet to others.
Otherwise why not just politely answer the person who said 'yuck, green sludge, what's in that?' With a friendly ' kale, carrot, spinach, apple ( whatever it is) do you want to try a bit? '
Or say, No thanks or yes I'll have some later or take some home or whatever without having to make a big point of refusing.
I am convinced that 9 times out of 10 people bring these comments on themselves by their own attitudes.
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In my workplace there is constant food. It's the norm for someone to have a bagel w cream cheese, donut, muffin on their plate along with the starbucks drink. I just know my body and I will gain weight in the blink of an eye if I ate like that. When I'm the only one that passes on it because I just had breakfast at home... People talk. People say things like.... But it's here, take some for later, etc. it gets exhausting. Same handful of people that offer just to get a reaction. I'm convinced. Thanks for the responses.
Well, doesn't matter what the norm for others is or if you would gain weight eating like that. : you do you, they can do them.
People are friendly and say things like 'take some for later'? - well, either say No thanks, or take some. You do realise you can take it home and not actually eat it and nobody is any the wiser?
And people are offering just to get a reaction? - I doubt they are but, even if so - don't give them one and it soon gets stale for them.
And people talk? - well, let them, what does it matter. But again, I doubt it. Most people are really not that interested in what others eat. Again, unless you repeatedly bring attention to it.
I know you don't want to consider this OP but it really is worth considering how you are contributing to this situation.
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Prude? What exactly do you guys do with your doughnuts???
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For family, I say no thanks. Once. If they offer again, i remind them that I should only have to have enough willpower to say "no" one time and to please not make this harder for me. Since almost every one of them is overweight and has struggled with many diets, they tend to "get it" then. For nonfamily, I have learned that saying "No thanks, I am not hungry right now" generally works. And whats really funny - the more I say it, the more true it becomes. So sometimes when I am really hungry, I just say I am not. Until it becomes true. I find it humerous that they are actually helping me reach my goals instead of "sabotaging" me. They are forcing me to find ways to live in the real world but stick to what I want for my life. You cant live in a vaccuum.4
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For family, I say no thanks. Once. If they offer again, i remind them that I should only have to have enough willpower to say "no" one time and to please not make this harder for me. Since almost every one of them is overweight and has struggled with many diets, they tend to "get it" then. For nonfamily, I have learned that saying "No thanks, I am not hungry right now" generally works. And whats really funny - the more I say it, the more true it becomes. So sometimes when I am really hungry, I just say I am not. Until it becomes true. I find it humerous that they are actually helping me reach my goals instead of "sabotaging" me. They are forcing me to find ways to live in the real world but stick to what I want for my life. You cant live in a vaccuum.
Yeah you need to stop thinking everybody is out to sabotage you. Mostly people don't give a damn what your sticking in your mouth. Also stop looking for others to blame re the family thing, frankly it does all sound a bit sanctimonious with the 'I'm better than them" attitude. As others have said do you and stop caring about what others are doing.0 -
For family, I say no thanks. Once. If they offer again, i remind them that I should only have to have enough willpower to say "no" one time and to please not make this harder for me. Since almost every one of them is overweight and has struggled with many diets, they tend to "get it" then. For nonfamily, I have learned that saying "No thanks, I am not hungry right now" generally works. And whats really funny - the more I say it, the more true it becomes. So sometimes when I am really hungry, I just say I am not. Until it becomes true. I find it humerous that they are actually helping me reach my goals instead of "sabotaging" me. They are forcing me to find ways to live in the real world but stick to what I want for my life. You cant live in a vaccuum.
Yeah you need to stop thinking everybody is out to sabotage you. Mostly people don't give a damn what your sticking in your mouth. Also stop looking for others to blame re the family thing, frankly it does all sound a bit sanctimonious with the 'I'm better than them" attitude. As others have said do you and stop caring about what others are doing.
1) I never said anything about sabotaging. At all. I stated the facts of what has been said to me directly in various environments. What comments I recieve from people.
2). What family thing?0 -
For family, I say no thanks. Once. If they offer again, i remind them that I should only have to have enough willpower to say "no" one time and to please not make this harder for me. Since almost every one of them is overweight and has struggled with many diets, they tend to "get it" then. For nonfamily, I have learned that saying "No thanks, I am not hungry right now" generally works. And whats really funny - the more I say it, the more true it becomes. So sometimes when I am really hungry, I just say I am not. Until it becomes true. I find it humerous that they are actually helping me reach my goals instead of "sabotaging" me. They are forcing me to find ways to live in the real world but stick to what I want for my life. You cant live in a vaccuum.
Yeah you need to stop thinking everybody is out to sabotage you. Mostly people don't give a damn what your sticking in your mouth. Also stop looking for others to blame re the family thing, frankly it does all sound a bit sanctimonious with the 'I'm better than them" attitude. As others have said do you and stop caring about what others are doing.
1) I never said anything about sabotaging. At all. I stated the facts of what has been said to me directly in various environments. What comments I recieve from people.
2). What family thing?
Maybe look at who I was replying to before you think even I'm out to get you eh ?4 -
I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.5 -
Either:
1. Dance around the office loudly singing Taylor Swift's Shake It Off "cause the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate..."
Or
2. Say "no thanks"
Both have worked well for me.
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I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Your story about the coworker reminds me of a story another coworker told me. She is diabetic and also, unfortunately, highly allergic to artificial sweeteners. At a previous job, she had a coworker who would constantly bring in sweets made with aspartame, etc...and push them on everyone. My coworker would tell this girl she couldn't have it and the girl would always tell her, "oh, come on! A little bit won't hurt you!"
Except in my coworker's case..uhm, yeah, it would.
Stuff like this is why I have little patience for people who push food at work. You never know what someone's story is. A "no thanks" should be good enough.4 -
It should be, but they don't "hear" it, it's simple manners, I think. I'd bring in baked goods from home and offer to my co-workers. Some were thrilled and took one or two, some would say no thanks, others would ask that I not offer because it's too tempting. I respected their wishes, didn't offer to those who were not interested, went back to the ones who took the first time around. One guy was allergic to nuts, so I'd not offer to him if I made something with nuts, but anything nut-free, he'd take a couple at a time.dragon_girl26 wrote: »I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Your story about the coworker reminds me of a story another coworker told me. She is diabetic and also, unfortunately, highly allergic to artificial sweeteners. At a previous job, she had a coworker who would constantly bring in sweets made with aspartame, etc...and push them on everyone. My coworker would tell this girl she couldn't have it and the girl would always tell her, "oh, come on! A little bit won't hurt you!"
Except in my coworker's case..uhm, yeah, it would.
Stuff like this is why I have little patience for people who push food at work. You never know what someone's story is. A "no thanks" should be good enough.
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My SO, though well meaning, will constantly get on my case about how I don't need to lose any weight. I've tried every approach "my doctor would say otherwise," "my bmi says I'm obese!!" Etc. the only thing that works, believe it or not, is time. Just keep doing your thing & all of a sudden you'll notice the positive comments will vastly outweigh the words of discouragement.2
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WinoGelato wrote: »Either:
1. Dance around the office loudly singing Taylor Swift's Shake It Off "cause the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate..."
Or
2. Say "no thanks"
Both have worked well for me.
Ah, but are you still employed there?
<runsawayquickly>2 -
They probably just want to make sure everyone is offered some:) Some people show love with food...that's why family can get offended when you turn down their casserole or dessert etc. I appreciate when my coworkers invite me to lunch even tho I say no every time because I bring my lunch. It still makes me feel good that they think to include me:) That's possibly what yours are doing as well...trying to make sure you're included;)6
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I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Wrt the coworker - if this is something she does to everyone and it makes others uncomfortable, and you've tried talking to her directly to no avail, file a complaint with HR, or talk to your/her supervisor about it. That's bordering on harassment. If she won't listen to you or any other coworkers, maybe she'll listen to her boss. At least if enough people complain about her behavior, she'll eventually suffer consequences.
As for family... That's trickier, but the good news is you don't have to see family as often as coworkers. And you also don't need to be as diplomatic
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Prude? What exactly do you guys do with your doughnuts???
Maybe they are eating some of these? http://voodoodoughnut.com/voodoo-doughnut-doughnuts.php2 -
Wrt the coworker - if this is something she does to everyone and it makes others uncomfortable, and you've tried talking to her directly to no avail, file a complaint with HR, or talk to your/her supervisor about it. That's bordering on harassment. If she won't listen to you or any other coworkers, maybe she'll listen to her boss. At least if enough people complain about her behavior, she'll eventually suffer consequences.
As for family... That's trickier, but the good news is you don't have to see family as often as coworkers. And you also don't need to be as diplomatic
At one point, she embarrassed one woman so badly (who had celiac) and the other woman retaliated by matching her volume and saying I'VE GOT CELIAC AND YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I don't know what was up with my old co-worker but thankfully I no longer work there.
With my mother, well, she's unhappy and resentful. When she actually asked me what I had done to lose weight, and I told her and showed her how I had done it, she got angry again and said she didn't have time to do all that. (But she's got time to watch 3 hours of TV a night - I didn't say that to her, but I thought it) And I just dropped it.
Ugh.
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Wrt the coworker - if this is something she does to everyone and it makes others uncomfortable, and you've tried talking to her directly to no avail, file a complaint with HR, or talk to your/her supervisor about it. That's bordering on harassment. If she won't listen to you or any other coworkers, maybe she'll listen to her boss. At least if enough people complain about her behavior, she'll eventually suffer consequences.
As for family... That's trickier, but the good news is you don't have to see family as often as coworkers. And you also don't need to be as diplomatic
At one point, she embarrassed one woman so badly (who had celiac) and the other woman retaliated by matching her volume and saying I'VE GOT CELIAC AND YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I don't know what was up with my old co-worker but thankfully I no longer work there.
With my mother, well, she's unhappy and resentful. When she actually asked me what I had done to lose weight, and I told her and showed her how I had done it, she got angry again and said she didn't have time to do all that. (But she's got time to watch 3 hours of TV a night - I didn't say that to her, but I thought it) And I just dropped it.
Ugh.
Wow! I can't believe she pushed someone into revealing a medical condition. If your old employer hasn't dealt with this person, they may very well end up with a legal problem because of this woman <smh>
Some people just aren't ready to make the necessary changes. And that's okay. I think we've all been there (I know I have, lol). I think you did the right thing with your mom - show her what you did when asked, plant the seeds, and then drop it... What else can ya do?
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Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
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Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Maybe invest in some headphones. Then even if they do talk to you, you won't hear it.0
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