Dealing with people that don't get it.
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Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Now I'll readily admit we're strange, but some of us do call this "small talk."1 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Prude? What exactly do you guys do with your doughnuts???
Maybe they are eating some of these? http://voodoodoughnut.com/voodoo-doughnut-doughnuts.php
I don't think I'll ever look at a doughnut the same way again0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Prude? What exactly do you guys do with your doughnuts???
Maybe they are eating some of these? http://voodoodoughnut.com/voodoo-doughnut-doughnuts.php
I don't think I'll ever look at a doughnut the same way again
I'd want to buy a c**k & balls and take them to work just so I could tell people what I was eating in the office lunchroom (and wear a raincoat to protect myself from the spit-takes).
Honestly, I've never had anything like this happen in my workplace. Then again, our team promotes an active and healthy lifestyle. I'm more likely to get a reaction when I reach for a second slice of cake than if I didn't have any at all.0 -
Reading these threads, I realize that I work with a great bunch of people. Most everyone is aware of my desire to lose weight (and it is quite visibly obvious now) and I have had nothing but encouragement. If offered the office donut and I decline, I get "good for you". When my boss wanted to do a pizza reward lunch, he asked me if he gave me enough notice, could I fit it in? He did, I planned for it, and everything was great. I have not had a single annoying comment. I am blessed.5
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I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Family is different and, sure, you may get the occaisional co worker who is really OTT - but I still think 9 times out of 10 work situations, people contribute to this by their own attitude - the very question of wanting to reply with a clever sarcastic response( as OP asked for) does suggest that to me.
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Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Exactly like this small talk friendly comment - and OP needs to reply to that with oneupmanship sarcasm??
You don't think doing that would be contributing to the problem - or indeed, making a problem where there isn't one?
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paperpudding wrote: »
Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Exactly like this small talk friendly comment - and OP needs to reply to that with oneupmanship sarcasm??
You don't think doing that would be contributing to the problem - or indeed, making a problem where there isn't one?
Perhaps she's at the point where it's all just getting to her, and it's the same douches that have said offensive things previously, so she has even less patience? It seems like a personality thing to me, because personally, I can fully understand wanting to tell an irritating coworker, "shut the hell up you ignorant loud mouth". Only problem being I likely wouldn't be employed there much longer if I did. Asking for sarcastic responses to communicate your annoyance and get jerks to back off is actually an acceptable medium to me - compared with knocking someone the *kitten* out and going to jail, for example
I myself happen to like sweets but even then would not have some right after breakfast. They're usually gone later on when I want them, though, so I can understand how the "later" response could be extremely effective.
OP, for the record I do not believe anyone is entitled to make disgusting comments about your food. They may think it, but certainly need to keep their rude traps shut.1 -
paperpudding wrote: »
Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Exactly like this small talk friendly comment - and OP needs to reply to that with oneupmanship sarcasm??
You don't think doing that would be contributing to the problem - or indeed, making a problem where there isn't one?
Or perhaps like Janel already said, we're sick to death of explaining, trying to be nice, trying to make excuses, trying to laugh it off, at it still continues.
Just the comment itself - "oh wow - that's different for you." That means the commenter has noticed what he/she NORMALLY eats, and that the commenter has now noticed that he/she is eating something different and just HAS to point it out. Why?
At what point do you think something is a "small talk friendly comment" and when does it become overbearing, none of your damn business what I'm eating or doing? And why make a comment? Why not say "how's your day going?" Why make it about food - yet again?
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paperpudding wrote: »
Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Exactly like this small talk friendly comment - and OP needs to reply to that with oneupmanship sarcasm??
You don't think doing that would be contributing to the problem - or indeed, making a problem where there isn't one?
Or perhaps like Janel already said, we're sick to death of explaining, trying to be nice, trying to make excuses, trying to laugh it off, at it still continues.
Just the comment itself - "oh wow - that's different for you." That means the commenter has noticed what he/she NORMALLY eats, and that the commenter has now noticed that he/she is eating something different and just HAS to point it out. Why?
At what point do you think something is a "small talk friendly comment" and when does it become overbearing, none of your damn business what I'm eating or doing? And why make a comment? Why not say "how's your day going?" Why make it about food - yet again?
If the person commenting is the same one who already said rude things, then that completely taints the comment about wow different food, huh
Otherwise, it's just a conversation starter to someone you may have been noticing but never really got a chance to chat with - about this subject, anyway. They're potentially saying hey I notice you usually eat a sandwich but today it's a salad! To which the response could be any number of interesting things, such as, "yeah, I just felt like I wanted something different today and threw the salad together". Or "yeah, my roommate snagged my lunch, the little jerk" or "we were at a restaurant last night and these are the left overs!" ("Oh yeah? Which one? Blah blah blah chat chat chat) and before you know it you've killed 20 minutes having a friendly chat about food, which everybody eats and therefore can be a great unifier
However if you just don't want anyone commenting on your food, ever, you might have to find ways to communicate that. Some of the silence or short tips shared earlier might do the trick0 -
paperpudding wrote: »
Exactly what I deal with! Just finished a sandwich at work and someone said "oh wow... That's different for you". All I was doing was on my phone eating my lunch in a common area.I think there are a few people in this thread that have never had to deal with family or co-workers who REALLY ARE giving other people a hard time about their diet.
I'm constantly hearing this "sanctimonious" thing and the truth is, that is not always the case.
Like I stated before, I had a co-worker who made an enormous very loud show every time someone would turn down a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. This was not just with me, she would do this for everyone. It's almost like she was out to embarrass anyone who varied from the script. No matter how many times I tried to downplay it or make excuses, she would just ramp up her efforts. If I tried to simply explain it to her, she would remind me YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LOOK AT YOU! No amount of logic or excuses got through to her.
And then there's family. My mother has always been overweight and has tried so many diets out there (the grapefruit diet, Adkins, apple cider vinegar diet, etc.) and has never been successful. And whenever I'm around her and turn down a piece of pie or cake or cookie or brownie, she goes into this martyr mode and starts her guilt trip on me, then expresses her "concern" about how much weight I've lost and how thin I'm getting and how she thinks I'm obsessed with this and she'll try to recruit any other female family member in the room to agree with her.
It's exhausting and I really do wish people would acknowledge that we are not always being sanctimonious about what we eat. There really are some toxic people out there who have this crabs in a bucket mentality towards anyone who has any moderate amount of success at anything.
Exactly like this small talk friendly comment - and OP needs to reply to that with oneupmanship sarcasm??
You don't think doing that would be contributing to the problem - or indeed, making a problem where there isn't one?
Or perhaps like Janel already said, we're sick to death of explaining, trying to be nice, trying to make excuses, trying to laugh it off, at it still continues.
Just the comment itself - "oh wow - that's different for you." That means the commenter has noticed what he/she NORMALLY eats, and that the commenter has now noticed that he/she is eating something different and just HAS to point it out. Why?
At what point do you think something is a "small talk friendly comment" and when does it become overbearing, none of your damn business what I'm eating or doing? And why make a comment? Why not say "how's your day going?" Why make it about food - yet again?
Well that escalated. Perhaps because it is the real world and people like to talk to people about things, including food. The amount of times people have said to me "That looks interesting", "That smells strange", "I cant believe how much your eating", "are you just missing lunch today" - How you take it is all about YOUR attitude and has very little to do with the person making the comment/starting the conversation. I suggest you look into your self and how you are viewing other people, rather than assume they are viewing you with the same harsh light you see them.
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When i started (for the first time) my diet, during the first week, i got asked by the exact same people, every single day, questions like "Are you on a diet?" or got told stuff like "Oh, i see you are trying to lose weight", its fine by me, you just dont need to ask the same *kitten* every single day. People will tell you stuff that you should do, and stuff that you shouldnt do, mostly people that have no idea what they are talking about. I dont owe anything to anyone, and neither do you. Do it because you want to, and not because someone else wants you to, or it will never work. Eventually, people will feel stupid for asking the same stuff again and again.1
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I think everyone should watch Shirley MacLaine in Guarding Tess (1994) at some point in their life. Her character shows how to be gracious and devastating at once. Sarcasm is the refuge of the young. There is no defense however against firm graciousness.
Your food choices are not the business of fools, so the less said about it to them the better.
I love this. "Firm graciousness" is definitely something I aspire to.
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OP did you ever say how big of an office/workplace this is and what type? If it is small with relatively few employees, and/or people are on the phone all day talking to customers or clients, then maybe they just want some social interaction that isn't work related. Food is (or used to be) a great normalizer. Everyone has to eat, and most people enjoy eating tasty food. The office environment doesn't yield itself to lengthy, in depth social interactions or involved discussions, it's more for exchanging quick pleasantries.
Commenting casually that you are eating a sandwich (oh that's new for you) instead of a green smoothie that you mentioned above doesn't make someone a food pusher or all up in your business. It was likely a casual observation and the appropriate responses could be:
1. Point to the phone indicating you can't talk right now
2. Yep! Ran out of greens!
3. Yep! I eat all sorts of things!
4. Yep! A sandwich sounded good today!
I'm not sure why you think that complaining here about perceived intrusiveness is one of those appropriate responses but it seems there are a lot of people that agree with you. I see that as a totally benign comment from a colleague but I think I'm in the minority.2 -
WinoGelato wrote: »OP did you ever say how big of an office/workplace this is and what type? If it is small with relatively few employees, and/or people are on the phone all day talking to customers or clients, then maybe they just want some social interaction that isn't work related. Food is (or used to be) a great normalizer. Everyone has to eat, and most people enjoy eating tasty food. The office environment doesn't yield itself to lengthy, in depth social interactions or involved discussions, it's more for exchanging quick pleasantries.
Commenting casually that you are eating a sandwich (oh that's new for you) instead of a green smoothie that you mentioned above doesn't make someone a food pusher or all up in your business. It was likely a casual observation and the appropriate responses could be:
1. Point to the phone indicating you can't talk right now
2. Yep! Ran out of greens!
3. Yep! I eat all sorts of things!
4. Yep! A sandwich sounded good today!
I'm not sure why you think that complaining here about perceived intrusiveness is one of those appropriate responses but it seems there are a lot of people that agree with you. I see that as a totally benign comment from a colleague but I think I'm in the minority.
No you are not in the minority at all. The majority of people are able to have normal conversations about food. And also able to comment on other peoples food in an interesting way and have a discussion about it, without anybodies knickers getting all twisted. The things I have found out about different foods from speaking to colleagues given how multi-cultural we all are.
Just a very few seems to get quite worked up cause somebody commented on what they are eating. What will end up happening is nobody will talk to them for fear of having their heads ripped off and they will just be labeled as that colleague who doesn't want any social interaction.
New Employee : "I asked Sally about her lunch, it looked really tasty but she just looked at me like I should die"
Old Hat : "Yeah we just let Sally be. Not sure what the problem is."
smh
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Who cares if they get it?
As long as you are happy with what you are doing, and it works, so be it.
I always bring my own food, even when travelling abroad for the first day, and always take care with what I have0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »OP did you ever say how big of an office/workplace this is and what type? If it is small with relatively few employees, and/or people are on the phone all day talking to customers or clients, then maybe they just want some social interaction that isn't work related. Food is (or used to be) a great normalizer. Everyone has to eat, and most people enjoy eating tasty food. The office environment doesn't yield itself to lengthy, in depth social interactions or involved discussions, it's more for exchanging quick pleasantries.
Commenting casually that you are eating a sandwich (oh that's new for you) instead of a green smoothie that you mentioned above doesn't make someone a food pusher or all up in your business. It was likely a casual observation and the appropriate responses could be:
1. Point to the phone indicating you can't talk right now
2. Yep! Ran out of greens!
3. Yep! I eat all sorts of things!
4. Yep! A sandwich sounded good today!
I'm not sure why you think that complaining here about perceived intrusiveness is one of those appropriate responses but it seems there are a lot of people that agree with you. I see that as a totally benign comment from a colleague but I think I'm in the minority.
No you are not in the minority at all. The majority of people are able to have normal conversations about food. And also able to comment on other peoples food in an interesting way and have a discussion about it, without anybodies knickers getting all twisted. The things I have found out about different foods from speaking to colleagues given how multi-cultural we all are.
Just a very few seems to get quite worked up cause somebody commented on what they are eating. What will end up happening is nobody will talk to them for fear of having their heads ripped off and they will just be labeled as that colleague who doesn't want any social interaction.
New Employee : "I asked Sally about her lunch, it looked really tasty but she just looked at me like I should die"
Old Hat : "Yeah we just let Sally be. Not sure what the problem is."
smh
So someone saying your food is disgusting would fall under "normal conversation" for you? It's an issue of basic respect and manners, just because we're talking about food doesn't make it okay to forget that1 -
WinoGelato wrote: »OP did you ever say how big of an office/workplace this is and what type? If it is small with relatively few employees, and/or people are on the phone all day talking to customers or clients, then maybe they just want some social interaction that isn't work related. Food is (or used to be) a great normalizer. Everyone has to eat, and most people enjoy eating tasty food. The office environment doesn't yield itself to lengthy, in depth social interactions or involved discussions, it's more for exchanging quick pleasantries.
Commenting casually that you are eating a sandwich (oh that's new for you) instead of a green smoothie that you mentioned above doesn't make someone a food pusher or all up in your business. It was likely a casual observation and the appropriate responses could be:
1. Point to the phone indicating you can't talk right now
2. Yep! Ran out of greens!
3. Yep! I eat all sorts of things!
4. Yep! A sandwich sounded good today!
I'm not sure why you think that complaining here about perceived intrusiveness is one of those appropriate responses but it seems there are a lot of people that agree with you. I see that as a totally benign comment from a colleague but I think I'm in the minority.
No you are not in the minority at all. The majority of people are able to have normal conversations about food. And also able to comment on other peoples food in an interesting way and have a discussion about it, without anybodies knickers getting all twisted. The things I have found out about different foods from speaking to colleagues given how multi-cultural we all are.
Just a very few seems to get quite worked up cause somebody commented on what they are eating. What will end up happening is nobody will talk to them for fear of having their heads ripped off and they will just be labeled as that colleague who doesn't want any social interaction.
New Employee : "I asked Sally about her lunch, it looked really tasty but she just looked at me like I should die"
Old Hat : "Yeah we just let Sally be. Not sure what the problem is."
smh
So someone saying your food is disgusting would fall under "normal conversation" for you? It's an issue of basic respect and manners, just because we're talking about food doesn't make it okay to forget that
If somebody said my food is disgusting, then I would not be particularly bothered. No. I often have sushi at my desk, my boss hates fish. I can see him pale when he sees me eat it. Is it me being rude to my boss or is he being rude telling me how much it disgusts him. In fact it is neither. One day I hope hell maybe try a bit and enjoy it, until then getting all arsey about it seems pathetic to be honest.0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »OP did you ever say how big of an office/workplace this is and what type? If it is small with relatively few employees, and/or people are on the phone all day talking to customers or clients, then maybe they just want some social interaction that isn't work related. Food is (or used to be) a great normalizer. Everyone has to eat, and most people enjoy eating tasty food. The office environment doesn't yield itself to lengthy, in depth social interactions or involved discussions, it's more for exchanging quick pleasantries.
Commenting casually that you are eating a sandwich (oh that's new for you) instead of a green smoothie that you mentioned above doesn't make someone a food pusher or all up in your business. It was likely a casual observation and the appropriate responses could be:
1. Point to the phone indicating you can't talk right now
2. Yep! Ran out of greens!
3. Yep! I eat all sorts of things!
4. Yep! A sandwich sounded good today!
I'm not sure why you think that complaining here about perceived intrusiveness is one of those appropriate responses but it seems there are a lot of people that agree with you. I see that as a totally benign comment from a colleague but I think I'm in the minority.
No you are not in the minority at all. The majority of people are able to have normal conversations about food. And also able to comment on other peoples food in an interesting way and have a discussion about it, without anybodies knickers getting all twisted. The things I have found out about different foods from speaking to colleagues given how multi-cultural we all are.
Just a very few seems to get quite worked up cause somebody commented on what they are eating. What will end up happening is nobody will talk to them for fear of having their heads ripped off and they will just be labeled as that colleague who doesn't want any social interaction.
New Employee : "I asked Sally about her lunch, it looked really tasty but she just looked at me like I should die"
Old Hat : "Yeah we just let Sally be. Not sure what the problem is."
smh
So someone saying your food is disgusting would fall under "normal conversation" for you? It's an issue of basic respect and manners, just because we're talking about food doesn't make it okay to forget that
If somebody said my food is disgusting, then I would not be particularly bothered. No. I often have sushi at my desk, my boss hates fish. I can see him pale when he sees me eat it. Is it me being rude to my boss or is he being rude telling me how much it disgusts him. In fact it is neither. One day I hope hell maybe try a bit and enjoy it, until then getting all arsey about it seems pathetic to be honest.
Then there it is, the bottom line. We all have different definitions of manners and what's acceptable. If my food makes someone disgusted, I would hope they take another mouth full of STFU. Don't want to hear it, else they and I would have a problem. Now if they're communicating something like crumbs being left around or the smell is bothersome and/or lingers, then I'd understand it. Without a certain level of familiarity, I'd say certain comments may be best kept to oneself3 -
Did someone say OPs food was disgusting? I saw the sandwich, that's new, comment and I thought @JaneiR36 even you said that was likely a casual commented misinterpreted by OP?
The thread started with the question of how to sarcastically respond to people who are suggesting OP take advantage of food in the office. I think OP is what put off the tone of defensiveness and snark here, IMO.1 -
WinoGelato wrote: »OP did you ever say how big of an office/workplace this is and what type? If it is small with relatively few employees, and/or people are on the phone all day talking to customers or clients, then maybe they just want some social interaction that isn't work related. Food is (or used to be) a great normalizer. Everyone has to eat, and most people enjoy eating tasty food. The office environment doesn't yield itself to lengthy, in depth social interactions or involved discussions, it's more for exchanging quick pleasantries.
Commenting casually that you are eating a sandwich (oh that's new for you) instead of a green smoothie that you mentioned above doesn't make someone a food pusher or all up in your business. It was likely a casual observation and the appropriate responses could be:
1. Point to the phone indicating you can't talk right now
2. Yep! Ran out of greens!
3. Yep! I eat all sorts of things!
4. Yep! A sandwich sounded good today!
I'm not sure why you think that complaining here about perceived intrusiveness is one of those appropriate responses but it seems there are a lot of people that agree with you. I see that as a totally benign comment from a colleague but I think I'm in the minority.
No you are not in the minority at all. The majority of people are able to have normal conversations about food. And also able to comment on other peoples food in an interesting way and have a discussion about it, without anybodies knickers getting all twisted. The things I have found out about different foods from speaking to colleagues given how multi-cultural we all are.
Just a very few seems to get quite worked up cause somebody commented on what they are eating. What will end up happening is nobody will talk to them for fear of having their heads ripped off and they will just be labeled as that colleague who doesn't want any social interaction.
New Employee : "I asked Sally about her lunch, it looked really tasty but she just looked at me like I should die"
Old Hat : "Yeah we just let Sally be. Not sure what the problem is."
smh
So someone saying your food is disgusting would fall under "normal conversation" for you? It's an issue of basic respect and manners, just because we're talking about food doesn't make it okay to forget that
If somebody said my food is disgusting, then I would not be particularly bothered. No. I often have sushi at my desk, my boss hates fish. I can see him pale when he sees me eat it. Is it me being rude to my boss or is he being rude telling me how much it disgusts him. In fact it is neither. One day I hope hell maybe try a bit and enjoy it, until then getting all arsey about it seems pathetic to be honest.
Then there it is, the bottom line. We all have different definitions of manners and what's acceptable. If my food makes someone disgusted, I would hope they take another mouth full of STFU. Don't want to hear it, else they and I would have a problem. Now if they're communicating something like crumbs being left around or the smell is bothersome and/or lingers, then I'd understand it. Without a certain level of familiarity, I'd say certain comments may be best kept to oneself
I guess I have been really luck in that I have always got on with everyone I have worked with, bit of a sheltered life maybe.
Or perhaps it's not so much luck eh ? More about the receiver and how it is received. smh.0
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