Not wanting to work out around bodybuilders?
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When a relatively small middle-aged female walks into the midst of a group of 18 year old guys who are swearing loudly back and forth to each other, hogging all the equipment, wrestling each other in between the equipment etc. ... she's not going to be treated very nicely when she tries to take a turn at a weight bench or something ...
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I'm one of those middle-aged females (height wise small, weight wise, working on it) and I'm happy to say that I've never experienced this. When I started lifting heavy last year, I was intimidated by the whole idea, mostly due to my own lack of confidence about how I looked and my lack of knowledge. I bought a bunch of sessions with a trainer (she was 5 feet tall and used to powerlift) and following her stride right into that section of the gym worked wonders for me. Learned a lot and more importantly, increased my confidence and self-esteem so that I go on my own and feel like I belong. I do tend to go during hours I know it's not usually busy, and that's for my dislike of people in general
not "those kind of people." I just hate having to share.
Giving it a chance was definitely worth it because I'm getting so much out of going.
On my way there now.
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singingflutelady wrote: »Wow australia has some weird gyms.
2 of the 3 gyms weren't in Australia.
And I should add that I would count the most recent 2 of those 3 gyms among my favourite gyms. I would happily go back to both again ... and have done. But just not into the weightlifting area. If you swim, take a class, or stick to cardio, it's all good.
The first, as I mentioned, was a university gym full of uni students loudly blowing off steam ... that was the rudest one of the 3. I have no plans to go back there again.
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A friend of mine recently surprised me when she said, "Nothing de-motivates me more than having a bunch of big bodybuilders around while I'm exercising. I don't want to work out with those kind of people around."
This took me by surprise, perhaps because I can't really relate to that feeling. Does anyone else feel the same way about working out around these hardcore types? If so, why?
I can definitely relate!!
When I was a bodybuilder, I didn't mind at all. I was right in there with them. But then I got into cycling I haven't been into bodybuilding for years.
The last 3 gyms I've been a member of, I stuck to cardio because I very quickly grew wearing of being stared at, laughed at, yelled at, and shoved out of the way.
Wow, hard to believe you've found three crappy gyms in a row like that. The odds are positively astounding. I've belonged to about 25 gyms in two different states over the last 38 years (and worked out in several more), and not once have I ever been stared at, laughed at, yelled at or shoved out of the way in any of them. And I look nothing like a bodybuilder.
One of the Gold's Gyms I was a member at was the home gym for several professional and amateur bodybuilders. Most of them were among the nicest, kindest, most helpful people I've met in a gym. A couple of them were just so tuned into their workouts that nobody and nothing else existed in the gym around them. They weren't unfriendly or mean, they were just in their own world.
All of this
I worked for golds gym while I was in school. I've never ever saw people being laughed at , shoved or yelled at .
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I'm surprised they didn't get kicked out. My gym kicks people out for much lesser crimes1
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singingflutelady wrote: »Wow australia has some weird gyms. I have never been at a gym where anyone, let alone bodybuilders swear back and forth, wrestle, etc.
I have never been yelled at, laughed at or shoved at the gym by anyone either and we have lots of super competitive high level powerlifters including a world record holder, world champion and a few national champions. They are the nicest people in the gym. I get more looks from other women, especially cardio bunnies, in the gym who think I am weird and will get bulky because I lift heavy.
I'm a 40 year old women btw.
Yeah, I'm a 44 year old female who has been to gyms all over the world (but not Australia) and have never seen that type of behavior. Not in the university gym, not in South American gyms.
I knew Australia had all the most dangerous creepy crawly things, maybe that extends to gym goers?3 -
singingflutelady wrote: »I'm surprised they didn't get kicked out. My gym kicks people out for much lesser crimes
I doubt a gym is going to kick out half or more of the people there.0 -
singingflutelady wrote: »I'm surprised they didn't get kicked out. My gym kicks people out for much lesser crimes
There are also a lot of *kitten* gyms nowadays, though, due to this new fitness craze. "entrepreneurs" are just jumping onto the "gym" bandwagon and renting out any old spot, throwing in whatever equipment they can find, and calling it a gym... and any judgmental idiot can join and stay.0 -
singingflutelady wrote: »Wow australia has some weird gyms. I have never been at a gym where anyone, let alone bodybuilders swear back and forth, wrestle, etc.
I have never been yelled at, laughed at or shoved at the gym by anyone either and we have lots of super competitive high level powerlifters including a world record holder, world champion and a few national champions. They are the nicest people in the gym. I get more looks from other women, especially cardio bunnies, in the gym who think I am weird and will get bulky because I lift heavy.
I'm a 40 year old women btw.
Yeah, I'm a 44 year old female who has been to gyms all over the world (but not Australia) and have never seen that type of behavior. Not in the university gym, not in South American gyms.
I knew Australia had all the most dangerous creepy crawly things, maybe that extends to gym goers?
As I just finished saying ... 2 of the 3 gyms I mentioned were not in Australia. The one gym that is in Australia is a great place ... one of my favourite gyms and I would and have happily gone back there again ... but just not into the weightlifting area.2 of the 3 gyms weren't in Australia.
And I should add that I would count the most recent 2 of those 3 gyms among my favourite gyms. I would happily go back to both again ... and have done. But just not into the weightlifting area. If you swim, take a class, or stick to cardio, it's all good.
The first, as I mentioned, was a university gym full of uni students loudly blowing off steam ... that was the rudest one of the 3. I have no plans to go back there again.0 -
I find the body builders to be just fine at my gym, mainly keep to themselves in a large group, and sometimes hog the equipment, but always nice, and not ever there to show off, or put you down. Now the powerlifters, I find that the powerlifters love helping people if asked, and are always the most friendly people at the gym, and will always talk to anybody.2
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A friend of mine recently surprised me when she said, "Nothing de-motivates me more than having a bunch of big bodybuilders around while I'm exercising. I don't want to work out with those kind of people around."
This took me by surprise, perhaps because I can't really relate to that feeling. Does anyone else feel the same way about working out around these hardcore types? If so, why?
I can definitely relate!!
When I was a bodybuilder, I didn't mind at all. I was right in there with them. But then I got into cycling I haven't been into bodybuilding for years.
The last 3 gyms I've been a member of, I stuck to cardio because I very quickly grew wearing of being stared at, laughed at, yelled at, and shoved out of the way.
Wow, hard to believe you've found three crappy gyms in a row like that. The odds are positively astounding. I've belonged to about 25 gyms in two different states over the last 38 years (and worked out in several more), and not once have I ever been stared at, laughed at, yelled at or shoved out of the way in any of them. And I look nothing like a bodybuilder.
One of the Gold's Gyms I was a member at was the home gym for several professional and amateur bodybuilders. Most of them were among the nicest, kindest, most helpful people I've met in a gym. A couple of them were just so tuned into their workouts that nobody and nothing else existed in the gym around them. They weren't unfriendly or mean, they were just in their own world.
I'm with you. I'm an old guy. I've had the opportunity to workout in a couple gyms that make most top 10 lists of hard core gyms in the US while travelling. Some of the nicest people to train around in those places.1 -
I find the body builders to be just fine at my gym, mainly keep to themselves in a large group, and sometimes hog the equipment, but always nice, and not ever there to show off, or put you down. Now the powerlifters, I find that the powerlifters love helping people if asked, and are always the most friendly people at the gym, and will always talk to anybody.
And bodybuilders and powerlifters alike are usually super excited when you ask for help. I mean seriously, look at them... it's obviously their life, so they love that someone else has an interest. They want to make sure you aren't overloading the weight and are using proper form. They live for that stuff.3 -
Back when I trained at a commercial gym, the bodybuilders were some of the nicer people. Although I did get plenty of stares, I got left alone for the most part.
Now that I'm at a specialized training centre, there are no bodybuilders, although there are a couple hybrid athletes who do compete in various levels of body building but it's not their main thing. We are friendly and welcoming, because after all, if you are there, you're either a strength athlete of some variety, or you are pretty committed to your off field strength and conditioning.1 -
A friend of mine recently surprised me when she said, "Nothing de-motivates me more than having a bunch of big bodybuilders around while I'm exercising. I don't want to work out with those kind of people around."
This took me by surprise, perhaps because I can't really relate to that feeling. Does anyone else feel the same way about working out around these hardcore types? If so, why?
I'll bet this is just one of many excuses your friend has for rarely exercising.2 -
Funny, I just went to the gym yesterday and had a bad experience. I am a 4'11 54 year old 100 lb Japanese female. I was working out on a bench, watching my posture in the mirror. A large muscular man stepped right in front of me, flexed, and grunted for 5 min. I just paused my set and waited until the Neanderthal left. Most people are very polite.2
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Funny, I just went to the gym yesterday and had a bad experience. I am a 4'11 54 year old 100 lb Japanese female. I was working out on a bench, watching my posture in the mirror. A large muscular man stepped right in front of me, flexed, and grunted for 5 min. I just paused my set and waited until the Neanderthal left. Most people are very polite.
The image in my head made me lol.
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Dumbbell hogs, mirror hogs, guys who curl in the squat rack... idiots.1
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I think calling weight lifters "those kinds" is like calling those who use a gym for spin class or the treadmill cardio bunnies and assuming that they are all airheads on their phones not really putting in an effort.
I suspect no one wants stereotyped...bunnies included.4 -
A friend of mine recently surprised me when she said, "Nothing de-motivates me more than having a bunch of big bodybuilders around while I'm exercising. I don't want to work out with those kind of people around."
This took me by surprise, perhaps because I can't really relate to that feeling. Does anyone else feel the same way about working out around these hardcore types? If so, why?
I can definitely relate!!
When I was a bodybuilder, I didn't mind at all. I was right in there with them. But then I got into cycling I haven't been into bodybuilding for years.
The last 3 gyms I've been a member of, I stuck to cardio because I very quickly grew wearing of being stared at, laughed at, yelled at, and shoved out of the way.
those guys weren't body builders they were jerks at the gym...probably not building much of anything other than a reputation...
I also think that people who feel stared at, laughed at etc are probably not being laughed at or stared at.
the yelling and pushing would result in expulsion from a university gym so why not address it....1 -
I did see a lady at my old apt gym spend her whole time taking pictures of herself and left without working out. I thought that was funny.1
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What is the polite response to: Busy at the gym, so 1 guy has 6 sets of weights in front of him (so he doesn't have to wait like the rest of us); I ask him if he is using the weights and he says yes.0
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What is the polite response to: Busy at the gym, so 1 guy has 6 sets of weights in front of him (so he doesn't have to wait like the rest of us); I ask him if he is using the weights and he says yes.
"Wtf bro? I need to look good for the summer as well"
Honestly though, I'd just tell him instead of asking that I'll be using the weights and we can swap them after sets.
It's not like the idiot is using them all at the same time.1 -
MalcolmX1983 wrote: »What is the polite response to: Busy at the gym, so 1 guy has 6 sets of weights in front of him (so he doesn't have to wait like the rest of us); I ask him if he is using the weights and he says yes.
"Wtf bro? I need to look good for the summer as well"
Honestly though, I'd just tell him instead of asking that I'll be using the weights and we can swap them after sets.
It's not like the idiot is using them all at the same time.
That works. And if he insists on being a d-bag about it? Talk to the gym staff/management.0 -
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With all respect to your friend, it sounds like an excuse..
I used to be the same way. I'm VERY socially anxious, and would avoid things like the gym, cardio machines, running outside, because I worried about how others would look at me or judge me. I know how legitimately frightening it can be to think that others are going to laugh at you.
Nowadays? F**k them.
Honestly, NO ONE cares. I don't mean that in a heartless way, but I honestly do not care about the other well-built men at the gym, or the skinny girl who can plow through 5 miles like it's nothing on the treadmill. Likewise, I don't care about the obese man walking slowly on the treadmill or the middle-aged woman who uses the lightest dumbbells. I'm not them. I don't know what their goals or limitations are. I don't know if this is their starting point, their middle, or their goal point. And you know what? It doesn't matter.
I'm obese, but not quite as obese as I used to be. I don't lift very heavy, and I'm just now working up to running 5K - which, to me, is a source of pride rather than shame for not having been able to do so in the first place. No one I encounter on the road or at the gym knows this about me, nor do they care.3 -
Funny, I just went to the gym yesterday and had a bad experience. I am a 4'11 54 year old 100 lb Japanese female. I was working out on a bench, watching my posture in the mirror. A large muscular man stepped right in front of me, flexed, and grunted for 5 min. I just paused my set and waited until the Neanderthal left. Most people are very polite.
If you were on a bench he probably didn't notice you. Mirror space can get crowded. I've had pretty much every kind of person walk in front of me, from big dudes of all races to tiny Japanese women (that latter group did it quite a bit when I lived in Tokyo). Seems pretty *kitten* to call him a Neanderthal. I'd imagine you'd get pretty upset if he called you by an epithet.1 -
A friend of mine recently surprised me when she said, "Nothing de-motivates me more than having a bunch of big bodybuilders around while I'm exercising. I don't want to work out with those kind of people around."
This took me by surprise, perhaps because I can't really relate to that feeling. Does anyone else feel the same way about working out around these hardcore types? If so, why?
I can definitely relate!!
When I was a bodybuilder, I didn't mind at all. I was right in there with them. But then I got into cycling I haven't been into bodybuilding for years.
The last 3 gyms I've been a member of, I stuck to cardio because I very quickly grew wearing of being stared at, laughed at, yelled at, and shoved out of the way.
Wow, hard to believe you've found three crappy gyms in a row like that. The odds are positively astounding. I've belonged to about 25 gyms in two different states over the last 38 years (and worked out in several more), and not once have I ever been stared at, laughed at, yelled at or shoved out of the way in any of them. And I look nothing like a bodybuilder.
One of the Gold's Gyms I was a member at was the home gym for several professional and amateur bodybuilders. Most of them were among the nicest, kindest, most helpful people I've met in a gym. A couple of them were just so tuned into their workouts that nobody and nothing else existed in the gym around them. They weren't unfriendly or mean, they were just in their own world.
But you're male, right?
When a relatively small middle-aged female walks into the midst of a group of 18 year old guys who are swearing loudly back and forth to each other, hogging all the equipment, wrestling each other in between the equipment etc. ... she's not going to be treated very nicely when she tries to take a turn at a weight bench or something ...
I've been a member of a lot of different gyms in two countries over the past 27 years, and most have been all right. But it probably didn't help that first one of the most recent 3 gyms was a university gym ...
That's not a gym culture issue- that's an 18 year punk kid issue- which you would find. literally ANYWHERE.
I have never had a problem at a gym outside someone telling me he wanted to *kitten* the *kitten* out of me. Which eventually made it's way to management and now he doesn't speak with me- b/c he's rude as *kitten*.
Otherwise- it's a none issue- no one cares. Just walk in and ask as if you expect them to say yes (I mean- still ask as if you were asking- but don't be timid about it) most people will either tell you why they cannot- or will just let you work in.
it's a none issue. don't make it an issue- and it won't be an issue.1 -
A friend of mine recently surprised me when she said, "Nothing de-motivates me more than having a bunch of big bodybuilders around while I'm exercising. I don't want to work out with those kind of people around."
This took me by surprise, perhaps because I can't really relate to that feeling. Does anyone else feel the same way about working out around these hardcore types? If so, why?
I can definitely relate!!
When I was a bodybuilder, I didn't mind at all. I was right in there with them. But then I got into cycling I haven't been into bodybuilding for years.
The last 3 gyms I've been a member of, I stuck to cardio because I very quickly grew wearing of being stared at, laughed at, yelled at, and shoved out of the way.
those guys weren't body builders they were jerks at the gym...probably not building much of anything other than a reputation...
I also think that people who feel stared at, laughed at etc are probably not being laughed at or stared at.
the yelling and pushing would result in expulsion from a university gym so why not address it....
Most of the time I would agree with you about the staring and laughing ... after all, that's what we tell new cyclists -- that no one sees them, no one notices them. But when a group of them are standing right there not even an arm's length away, looking right at you, and snickering, it's hard to convince yourself that you are not being laughed at or stared at. And when they start jostling and wrestling and pushing amongst themselves, and knocking into you until you are no longer standing in front of a mirror trying to do some curls ... well, again, it's hard to convince yourself that was all just coincidence. And when that happens 2 or 3 days in a row ...
Since there were so many of them, and just one of me ... and since I did want to continue to use the cardio in peace, I found it easier to just focus on cardio and not bother with the weights.
That gym was long ago and far away, and it's highly unlikely I'll ever have a need to use it again.
But that experience has diminished my desire to check out the gym at my current university. I have a look at the webpage and it does look more civilized, so one day I might.
The more recent two gyms I mentioned aren't as bad as that university gym ... they are actually pretty decent gyms (especially for the pool, cardio, and classes). However, in both cases, I suspect that if I had attended at a different time of day, or different days or something I might have had a completely different impression of the weight lifting area ... it could have just been a bit of bad timing.
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sunnybeaches105 wrote: »Planet Fitness created an entire business around those people. Nothing like viewing other's success as your own failure and resenting them for your own internal monologue.
I've always wondered if Planet Fitness revokes your membership if you get in shape? Although, given the mindset of their customers, it's probably never come up.1 -
A friend of mine recently surprised me when she said, "Nothing de-motivates me more than having a bunch of big bodybuilders around while I'm exercising. I don't want to work out with those kind of people around."
This took me by surprise, perhaps because I can't really relate to that feeling. Does anyone else feel the same way about working out around these hardcore types? If so, why?
I can definitely relate!!
When I was a bodybuilder, I didn't mind at all. I was right in there with them. But then I got into cycling I haven't been into bodybuilding for years.
The last 3 gyms I've been a member of, I stuck to cardio because I very quickly grew wearing of being stared at, laughed at, yelled at, and shoved out of the way.
those guys weren't body builders they were jerks at the gym...probably not building much of anything other than a reputation...
I also think that people who feel stared at, laughed at etc are probably not being laughed at or stared at.
the yelling and pushing would result in expulsion from a university gym so why not address it....
Most of the time I would agree with you about the staring and laughing ... after all, that's what we tell new cyclists -- that no one sees them, no one notices them. But when a group of them are standing right there not even an arm's length away, looking right at you, and snickering, it's hard to convince yourself that you are not being laughed at or stared at. And when they start jostling and wrestling and pushing amongst themselves, and knocking into you until you are no longer standing in front of a mirror trying to do some curls ... well, again, it's hard to convince yourself that was all just coincidence. And when that happens 2 or 3 days in a row ...
Since there were so many of them, and just one of me ... and since I did want to continue to use the cardio in peace, I found it easier to just focus on cardio and not bother with the weights.
That gym was long ago and far away, and it's highly unlikely I'll ever have a need to use it again.
But that experience has diminished my desire to check out the gym at my current university. I have a look at the webpage and it does look more civilized, so one day I might.
The more recent two gyms I mentioned aren't as bad as that university gym ... they are actually pretty decent gyms (especially for the pool, cardio, and classes). However, in both cases, I suspect that if I had attended at a different time of day, or different days or something I might have had a completely different impression of the weight lifting area ... it could have just been a bit of bad timing.
Never let a *kitten* stand in the way of your own progress. You've let those guys live and thrive in your own head. They were there IRL for what? 30 minutes? Such a small sliver to still be affecting your fitness decisions. Remove them and go check out your current university gym.2 -
Planet Fitness is easily the most judgmental gym I've ever been to. Not only that, but it promotes bad form and injury. No real barbells? Seriously? Squatting in a Smith machine is a quick way to screw up quite a few joints.1
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