Attacked for an opinion
melloneill16
Posts: 38 Member
So...can someone please help me understand....
So I was in a discussion board where I saw the OP asked for opinions +/- on a certain product. There were approx. 8 posters all being negative. I was the first positive post about the product. The next thing you know I am being attacked for how I felt about something. The OP was asking for opinions...
For the most part, I really enjoy MFP and all the support most give; the last place I expected to be attacked for expressing my feelings.
I'm not sure I will post my opinion again due to this experience...as it was brutal. I have always been told I am a very kind person and I guess I do not understand why I was being attacked. Anyone have the same experience?
So I was in a discussion board where I saw the OP asked for opinions +/- on a certain product. There were approx. 8 posters all being negative. I was the first positive post about the product. The next thing you know I am being attacked for how I felt about something. The OP was asking for opinions...
For the most part, I really enjoy MFP and all the support most give; the last place I expected to be attacked for expressing my feelings.
I'm not sure I will post my opinion again due to this experience...as it was brutal. I have always been told I am a very kind person and I guess I do not understand why I was being attacked. Anyone have the same experience?
8
Replies
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Most "products" like detoxes, cleanses, magical weight loss pills, quick fixes, etc are shams...it's really not a matter of opinion...they're bunk...they're modern day snake oil.
My guess is that you weren't in fact attacked but that your opinion of one of these types of products was shot down...because again, it's not really a matter of opinion when it comes to these sham products.21 -
There's a big difference between being attacked and being disagreed with. In your case, people disagreed with you. They did not attack you.13
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But I wasn't the one asking for an opinion, the OP was. Wasn't looking for a debate, wasn't selling anything. If I like it and was telling the poster that I liked it, why does my post have to be picked apart.
I don't go around attacking everyone's food choices or tell them the supplements they are taking is bad. Its my choice, like someone else taking a multivitamin or protein powder.
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Just checking...you do realise we can read what was actually said there, don't you?7
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I can only safely say...its not about you.3
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melltrembley wrote: »But I wasn't the one asking for an opinion, the OP was. Wasn't looking for a debate, wasn't selling anything. If I like it and was telling the poster that I liked it, why does my post have to be picked apart.
I don't go around attacking everyone's food choices or tell them the supplements they are taking is bad. Its my choice, like someone else taking a multivitamin or protein powder.
because most people here are not going to recommend spending money on things that really are just scams.
And that is what most of these things are ...scams. They don't help you lose weight really....they promise this and that and make it appear that without their product you will be fat for life which in fact is not true.
It is your choice and you can tell them all you want what you think....but that doesn't mean those who disagreed with you were attacking you...
I will say this tho protein powder is a choice lots make to up protein levels...are they required no.
Vitamins aren't needed either but they are a choice.
The difference is those aren't MLM Scams.9 -
When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.9 -
melltrembley wrote: »But I wasn't the one asking for an opinion, the OP was. Wasn't looking for a debate, wasn't selling anything. If I like it and was telling the poster that I liked it, why does my post have to be picked apart.
I don't go around attacking everyone's food choices or tell them the supplements they are taking is bad. Its my choice, like someone else taking a multivitamin or protein powder.
I appreciate you may have found it an unpleasant experience but it's perfectly normal for other people to ask you to substantiate your opinion in the event of disagreement even if you are not the one initially seeking it out.
For example:
Person 1: Guys. Hey guys. Do you think the Earth is flat? I'm going to try an experiment because I think it is!
Person 2: Hey, yeah! If you make it to the edge of the Earth you can fall off!
Person 3, 4, 5, 6... "What? Explain how that works? What about gravity?"
And so on.
Open debate is a good thing.6 -
I hate MLM scams with a passion, especially the ItWorks people. Anyone that is involved with them get removed from my Facebook immediately.2
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OP why do you think the diet industry is a billion dollar industry?? Because people are are gullible.
We try to stop people for falling for it.9 -
MLM? For the most part, it's overpriced garbage, or at least overpriced, regardless of anyone's feelings, and in the case of supplements such as Herbalife has been linked to liver failure and death. Evidence based information may be hard to swallow, but it is what it is.3
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Most of the attack was about the product. You're a distributor and you do stand to make a financial gain from people thinking the product is fantastic. It's great that you like it, but it's also a sub par product (low quality protein and vitamins) that is absolutely unnecessary. People are going to point out that you have a vested interest in the reputation of the product.
MLM products do not receive a warm welcome on this site. We don't like to see people desperate to lose weight preyed upon by people making money. Supplements are expensive and absolutely unnecessary for weight loss. This environment is full of people who are looking for a miracle. Many members are quick to jump on others who they feel may only have their personal financial interests in mind.25 -
Put in the work, and watch what you put on your fork. SIMPLE but effective.6
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MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.
Thank you, I do appreciate your comments. I am finding more and more, even though most people on here do not feel that I was attacked, that is how I felt. I think a lot of people hide behind their computers and phones and would not be so harsh in person. I think we all have a battle within ourselves and not everyone has it figured out or has the will power to eat good and healthy everyday. I understand the MLM $$ side, which I do not like either, which is why buy some products, but it is not my income business. I would rather take a few things that I feel help me stay on track because I suck at will power, than to eat a packaged Lean Cuisine, or a juicy cheeseburger or a diet soda.
I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.7 -
Most of the attack was about the product. You're a distributor and you do stand to make a financial gain from people thinking the product is fantastic. It's great that you like it, but it's also a sub par product (low quality protein and vitamins) that is absolutely unnecessary. People are going to point out that you have a vested interest in the reputation of the product.
MLM products do not receive a warm welcome on this site. We don't like to see people desperate to lose weight preyed upon by people making money. Supplements are expensive and absolutely unnecessary for weight loss. This environment is full of people who are looking for a miracle. Many members are quick to jump on others who they feel may only have their personal financial interests in mind.
No financial gain here or on any of my posts, a lot of people do not have the recipe to get or stay motivated. I like what I use, helps me and I am so happy for anyone who gets healthy and does what works for them!0 -
melltrembley wrote: »Most of the attack was about the product. You're a distributor and you do stand to make a financial gain from people thinking the product is fantastic. It's great that you like it, but it's also a sub par product (low quality protein and vitamins) that is absolutely unnecessary. People are going to point out that you have a vested interest in the reputation of the product.
MLM products do not receive a warm welcome on this site. We don't like to see people desperate to lose weight preyed upon by people making money. Supplements are expensive and absolutely unnecessary for weight loss. This environment is full of people who are looking for a miracle. Many members are quick to jump on others who they feel may only have their personal financial interests in mind.
No financial gain here or on any of my posts, a lot of people do not have the recipe to get or stay motivated. I like what I use, helps me and I am so happy for anyone who gets healthy and does what works for them!
You stated you are a distributor, which means you make money from selling the product. You may not have tried to sell it in that post and you may have read the rules for this site prohibiting people from attempting to sell a product. You still have a financial interest in the reputation of the product.21 -
melltrembley wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.
Thank you, I do appreciate your comments. I am finding more and more, even though most people on here do not feel that I was attacked, that is how I felt. I think a lot of people hide behind their computers and phones and would not be so harsh in person. I think we all have a battle within ourselves and not everyone has it figured out or has the will power to eat good and healthy everyday. I understand the MLM $$ side, which I do not like either, which is why buy some products, but it is not my income business. I would rather take a few things that I feel help me stay on track because I suck at will power, than to eat a packaged Lean Cuisine, or a juicy cheeseburger or a diet soda.
I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
It's all a matter of perspective though. For example, I would find it easy to read the bold part as "judgy and condescending", if I was that way inclined. It seemed to me that the other thread was attacking the product, and your role as a distributor, not you personally. Maybe you're not used to being around people that express opposing views but that's not what MFP is about and you might find it beneficial to read what is written objectively rather than personalising it.5 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »melltrembley wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.
Thank you, I do appreciate your comments. I am finding more and more, even though most people on here do not feel that I was attacked, that is how I felt. I think a lot of people hide behind their computers and phones and would not be so harsh in person. I think we all have a battle within ourselves and not everyone has it figured out or has the will power to eat good and healthy everyday. I understand the MLM $$ side, which I do not like either, which is why buy some products, but it is not my income business. I would rather take a few things that I feel help me stay on track because I suck at will power, than to eat a packaged Lean Cuisine, or a juicy cheeseburger or a diet soda.
I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
It's all a matter of perspective though. For example, I would find it easy to read the bold part as "judgy and condescending", if I was that way inclined. It seemed to me that the other thread was attacking the product, and your role as a distributor, not you personally. Maybe you're not used to being around people that express opposing views but that's not what MFP is about and you might find it beneficial to read what is written objectively rather than personalising it.
Or better yet, when reading replies back to yourself use a mickey mouse voice. This is fun to do!11 -
queenliz99 wrote: »CurlyCockney wrote: »melltrembley wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.
Thank you, I do appreciate your comments. I am finding more and more, even though most people on here do not feel that I was attacked, that is how I felt. I think a lot of people hide behind their computers and phones and would not be so harsh in person. I think we all have a battle within ourselves and not everyone has it figured out or has the will power to eat good and healthy everyday. I understand the MLM $$ side, which I do not like either, which is why buy some products, but it is not my income business. I would rather take a few things that I feel help me stay on track because I suck at will power, than to eat a packaged Lean Cuisine, or a juicy cheeseburger or a diet soda.
I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
It's all a matter of perspective though. For example, I would find it easy to read the bold part as "judgy and condescending", if I was that way inclined. It seemed to me that the other thread was attacking the product, and your role as a distributor, not you personally. Maybe you're not used to being around people that express opposing views but that's not what MFP is about and you might find it beneficial to read what is written objectively rather than personalising it.
Or better yet, when reading replies back to yourself use a mickey mouse voice. This is fun to do!
I am so going to try that!3 -
queenliz99 wrote: »CurlyCockney wrote: »melltrembley wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.
Thank you, I do appreciate your comments. I am finding more and more, even though most people on here do not feel that I was attacked, that is how I felt. I think a lot of people hide behind their computers and phones and would not be so harsh in person. I think we all have a battle within ourselves and not everyone has it figured out or has the will power to eat good and healthy everyday. I understand the MLM $$ side, which I do not like either, which is why buy some products, but it is not my income business. I would rather take a few things that I feel help me stay on track because I suck at will power, than to eat a packaged Lean Cuisine, or a juicy cheeseburger or a diet soda.
I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
It's all a matter of perspective though. For example, I would find it easy to read the bold part as "judgy and condescending", if I was that way inclined. It seemed to me that the other thread was attacking the product, and your role as a distributor, not you personally. Maybe you're not used to being around people that express opposing views but that's not what MFP is about and you might find it beneficial to read what is written objectively rather than personalising it.
Or better yet, when reading replies back to yourself use a mickey mouse voice. This is fun to do!
I always use Big Bird. You can't be mad at that beak!5 -
melltrembley wrote: »I'm not sure I will post my opinion again due to this experience...as it was brutal. I have always been told I am a very kind person and I guess I do not understand why I was being attacked. Anyone have the same experience?
Never! This place is very supportive from what I've experienced.4 -
melltrembley wrote: »I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
I wish people could hear disagreement and critique without getting personally offended or demanding that everyone communicate in their preferred style. I don't think either of us will get our wishes met any time soon.
It is difficult to tell someone that they are walking into a house fire in a chirpy, decision-affirming manner.18 -
melltrembley wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.
Thank you, I do appreciate your comments. I am finding more and more, even though most people on here do not feel that I was attacked, that is how I felt. I think a lot of people hide behind their computers and phones and would not be so harsh in person. I think we all have a battle within ourselves and not everyone has it figured out or has the will power to eat good and healthy everyday. I understand the MLM $$ side, which I do not like either, which is why buy some products, but it is not my income business. I would rather take a few things that I feel help me stay on track because I suck at will power, than to eat a packaged Lean Cuisine, or a juicy cheeseburger or a diet soda.
I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
@melltrembley why what is wrong with an occasional lean cuisine or diet soda???
and what is wrong with a cheese burger??? not joking either.
I eat cheeseburgers all the time have yet to have an issue losing weight.
and this is why people here are so against these scams/supplements etc...it makes people believe food is bad when it isn't.16 -
Hi @melltrembley,
I am one that 'liked' your posts in the other thread because of how polite you were. Please know that what I'm about to say is written with the same politeness and not intended to be an "attack" of any sort.
I went back and reread the thread in question. I saw a little snark (which is pretty much par for the course on the internet) but mostly people were challenging your opinions/beliefs (not you personally), which I believe is healthful for everyone to do from time to time. Either you formulate a solid defense of your ideas and shoot down the naysayers, or you end up rethinking your position and replace weak ideas with more reasoned ones. The only mistake would be to dig in your heels and refuse to at least consider the possibility that there is some truth to what the challengers are saying.
If you don't want to be challenged/contradicted about what you have to say, don't post it in a place where most of the opinions already shared are not in favor. That sounds harsh, but it's a fact of life online. People are very open about disagreeing whenever they want. If you are able to take it, then by all means say your piece
but don't be surprised when there is pushback.
You mention that people wouldn't be so harsh in person; that's probably true, most people would roll their eyes and keep their thoughts to themselves. But this is a place for open discussion, and it's not a one-on-one conversation. People years from now could read what we say here and most posters have a great interest in making sure that reliable information is easily found.
Thank you for keeping your posts so polite. You have a friendly way of expressing yourself and I think you could be encouraging to people in the Support and Getting Started forums!
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I think you were polite on your other post. I do believe that some of the people were too harsh, but it is inevitable on anything internet these days. Everyone thinks they know what's best, and it is super easy to be condescending in text. People even start in on each other and get distracted from what the original post even was. We tend to (myself included) de-humanize the person we are interacting with on our devices. People may be just trying to criticize the product, but when they talk about annoying sales consultants or people just in it for the money, it groups you in that too. I can see why you would feel attacked, even if they were not trying to attack you specifically. There is a post in this thread I strongly disagree with, but I am not going to comment specifically on it because I know it would lead to all kinds of arguments. I hate to have it come down to this, but if you are going to be the odd man out and don't want to get attacked, safest bet is either don't say anything or try and message the person privately if that is even possible. That's not the way it SHOULD be, but it is the safest bet.
On the other hand, you will never meet any of these people in real life....so who cares what they think?6 -
Literally any internet forum is going to have their share of this. Some people are trolls and will find a way to make everything an argument. Others just feel very strongly about their opinions and maybe are a little rude about it, but even then there are reasons for that. MFP gets a lot of new people hoping to find some quick fix, so those of us who have been around a while try to nip those unrealistic expectations in the bud. Many of us have tried those quick fixes and there's a reason we are now against them. If they worked like people expected everyone would be taking _____ and no one would be fat. You may not have intended to promote a "quick fix" because to you it was simply a helpful tool, but someone new and feeling desperate would take it that way.
The key to the forums is to not take things personally. If it's that upsetting to you but you want to continue to offer advice to others, maybe consider joining a group of people with similar goals and situations. People would likely still disagree with promoting a product but I've found responses in groups can be less harsh than the forums.2 -
If you where standing right in front of me op, I would still say the same exact thing.
Multi level marketing scams are the equivalent of snake oil. High cost- low quality junk.
You indeed have something to gain from promoting your love for multi level marketing scams. Your a distributor so make money when people buy your products. Even if you where not selling them here on mfp, you still have a financial interest in the company. So of course you wouldn't want to see people saying that the products are junk. The fact is that many here are already aware of mlm scams and do not like to see beginners fooled and deceived . Mlm peddlers prey on the desperate and naïve.
If this products work for you then that's great. But please realize that nobody is attacking you personally. They are challenging your opinion on mlm products. Don't take it personally because it was never meant to be a personal attack. We just want to protect newcomers from falling into a scam. If you like that type of thing then have at it, just don't get upset when people disagree with you.
You have every right to voice your opinion about mlm scams and so do we.12 -
Lolz. A mean people thread on a Thursday. Win.13
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People were asking you to back up your claims. How is that mean?7
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