help please
Replies
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how about you go f your self mmmm k get off my post thanks
who was that directed to?
assuming its the poster suggesting that maybe you have some mental issues yourself.
you can see where that *may* have come from, right?
you drop this vague story about your ex basically kidnapping your kid a year ago, with no details, and things that just dont add up.
so your kid doesnt wanna live with you. as heartbreaking as that is, it's certainly something you have to consider.
how old is the child?0 -
How old is your child?0
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There is more to it but it take 20 mins to put it all down. I allowed my son to go with his dad for a summer visit with the understanding he was to bring him back in auguest 2012. next thing I know im getting calls demanding me to drop child support and when they started getting nasty about it I called the police the police call him they say he told them he was bringing him back. next thing I know Im getting served papers by a sherrif that he is going for fuill custody I filed a dispute filed my own parenting plan and im getting nowhere. now my child is telling me he doesnt want me and does not want to go home to me and im flippen devestated. Ive applied thru legal serivces and got turned down. I keep trying to get help from the law library theyve been the only who have helped me. I try going over there and I cant get near him.
Is this your first child that he has? I understand you are currently pregnant but do you have other children that he might say that you are not doing enough? My only thing is if the child has a disability, where will he get the best care? Also, usually dads do not get custody unless they can show pretty good evidence of you being an unfit mother or you sign away your rights. Have you done anything (drugs, illegal stuff) that he may have over you that he could most likely win?0 -
Why doesn't he want to go home with you? And if you currently have custody of him (since it won't be processed until after you go to court or whatever), why can't you just go get him now? Can't be of much help since things are so vague.There is more to it but it take 20 mins to put it all down. I allowed my son to go with his dad for a summer visit with the understanding he was to bring him back in auguest 2012. next thing I know im getting calls demanding me to drop child support and when they started getting nasty about it I called the police the police call him they say he told them he was bringing him back. next thing I know Im getting served papers by a sherrif that he is going for fuill custody I filed a dispute filed my own parenting plan and im getting nowhere. now my child is telling me he doesnt want me and does not want to go home to me and im flippen devestated. Ive applied thru legal serivces and got turned down. I keep trying to get help from the law library theyve been the only who have helped me. I try going over there and I cant get near him.0 -
Why doesn't he want to go home with you? And if you currently have custody of him (since it won't be processed until after you go to court or whatever), why can't you just go get him now? Can't be of much help since things are so vague.There is more to it but it take 20 mins to put it all down. I allowed my son to go with his dad for a summer visit with the understanding he was to bring him back in auguest 2012. next thing I know im getting calls demanding me to drop child support and when they started getting nasty about it I called the police the police call him they say he told them he was bringing him back. next thing I know Im getting served papers by a sherrif that he is going for fuill custody I filed a dispute filed my own parenting plan and im getting nowhere. now my child is telling me he doesnt want me and does not want to go home to me and im flippen devestated. Ive applied thru legal serivces and got turned down. I keep trying to get help from the law library theyve been the only who have helped me. I try going over there and I cant get near him.
I imagine he doesn't want to go home after being a year with his dad. No matter what circumstance, usually they will rather just stay. And yes, it is so vague. Too many holes trying to figure out the whole story.0 -
I was only talking in past tense becuase I was trying to explain my side of what was happening when I had him I still love him I love him so much it hurts. And my son is more important then any relationship id get rid of the man before i got rid of my kid. I just made a mistake and im paying for it. I guess I was hoping to get a little support mayb from someone here whos gone thru something similar. but all im getting for the most part is gee your a freaking lying dumba$$ And Im sorry if somehow I gave anyonre that impression. and They have my son home schooled so there is no way to just pick him up from school. Its like the boy is on lock down.0
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HOW. OLD. IS. THE. CHILD.0
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I didn't say any of that. What mistake?I was only talking in past tense becuase I was trying to explain my side of what was happening when I had him I still love him I love him so much it hurts. And my son is more important then any relationship id get rid of the man before i got rid of my kid. I just made a mistake and im paying for it. I guess I was hoping to get a little support mayb from someone here whos gone thru something similar. but all im getting for the most part is gee your a freaking lying dumba$$ And Im sorry if somehow I gave anyonre that impression. and They have my son home schooled so there is no way to just pick him up from school. Its like the boy is on lock down.0 -
I was only talking in past tense becuase I was trying to explain my side of what was happening when I had him I still love him I love him so much it hurts. And my son is more important then any relationship id get rid of the man before i got rid of my kid. I just made a mistake and im paying for it. I guess I was hoping to get a little support mayb from someone here whos gone thru something similar. but all im getting for the most part is gee your a freaking lying dumba$$ And Im sorry if somehow I gave anyonre that impression. and They have my son home schooled so there is no way to just pick him up from school. Its like the boy is on lock down.
No one is calling you a dumba** or saying you don't love your kid but you really aren't making much sense regarding the story.
I think most are trying to help but there isn't enough info. Is there anything in your past that your ex has on you to possibly get full custody? If not, then you should be golden. Let him take you to court and let the judge decide.0 -
he is probably home schooled because he is Autistic not because he is on lock down.
you said in the first post he was only sposed to go for a few days, then it turned into an entire summer.
you said you notified authorities and the courts and nothing is happening, they are taking the side of the father, its clear
sounds like you speak to the father if you have all this information about the childs schooling and the fact he doesn't want to return to your care
the child isn't going to want to come back to your home willingly if he has developmental disability, he doesn't understand whats going on. leave him with his father if that is where is getting the best care, and seek out a mediator0 -
I was only talking in past tense becuase I was trying to explain my side of what was happening when I had him I still love him I love him so much it hurts. And my son is more important then any relationship id get rid of the man before i got rid of my kid. I just made a mistake and im paying for it. I guess I was hoping to get a little support mayb from someone here whos gone thru something similar. but all im getting for the most part is gee your a freaking lying dumba$$ And Im sorry if somehow I gave anyonre that impression. and They have my son home schooled so there is no way to just pick him up from school. Its like the boy is on lock down.
the reason people are thinking theres more to the story is because there HAS to be.
you simply cannot come on here, say your ex took your kid a year ago and wont give him back, and expect nothing but support.
you are coming off like an absolute lunatic.
let me see if im up to speed...
you had a child with someone you were in a relationship X number of years ago. you 2 broke up, and neither did anything as far as custody/obligations.
then at some point in 2012 (summer?) you let your child go visit his father for the summer with the understanding (verbal?) that the child would be returned in august.
at some point during this time, "they" started calling you demanding you drop the child support and getting nasty. it was then that you called the police. cops called him to find out wtf is up and he says hes bringing the kid back. he doesnt. the next event is that the father is going to file for full custody. you filed your own plan in dispute and arent getting much response.
when you tried thru legal services and got turned down, why did they turn you down?
you tried going to the home of the ex, and cant get near him?
edited to add 2 more questions:
how far along are you in your current pregnancy, and are you in a stable relationship?
do you work?
i think these are all questions that the legal system are taking into account when you are asking for full custody of your child.0 -
I was only talking in past tense becuase I was trying to explain my side of what was happening when I had him I still love him I love him so much it hurts. And my son is more important then any relationship id get rid of the man before i got rid of my kid. I just made a mistake and im paying for it. I guess I was hoping to get a little support mayb from someone here whos gone thru something similar. but all im getting for the most part is gee your a freaking lying dumba$$ And Im sorry if somehow I gave anyonre that impression. and They have my son home schooled so there is no way to just pick him up from school. Its like the boy is on lock down.
New question...who are "they"? Is his father remarried? Living with mom?
This does sound like an eerie situation. I would like to suggest you wait until you are feeling better. I have a feeling you waited until something made you brave enough to post and that same something may be making it hard to spell. I can understand feeling distraught over this, but I also can understand if you were misled and then either someone had a plan to do this to you, or later took advantage of realizing they had an advantage. Go take a breather, a nap, eat something and drink a whole lot of water. When you wake up consider asking these questions again, or maybe a better idea will come to you like where you can turn for some serious help. Only you know if he justifiably has custody of him or just took him for an extended time under the guise of "vacation" and then portrayed it as abandonment or something else to the courts to gain custody. Only you know how many fathers are involved, if you have the capacity to care for both these kids and how to win your son's favor back. I can see in a year a kid that young could get brainwashed against you. I saw a guy and his mother tell his kids horrible things about their mother anytime their plans to see her fell through. Only they knew the meeting place and whether they went to it or not, not the kids nor I. The fact that they always made sure the kids were told that she was "off partying" or "flaked out again" made me initially suspicious they were the culprits and a few months later I discovered they were. It can happen. I've seen it. IF that's the case with you....you can NOT let it drive you crazy. Must not. You must take care of yourself until the right answers become obvious so that you are ready to strike when the opportunity comes to get control of the situation. Make sure you have the kind of life that any adult would feel comfortable putting a child in. Right now, you are not coming off that way, but that does not mean you might not be in a desperate or distraught state emotionally right at this minute and cannot change things. Fast.0 -
Ive kept a job ive had him in head start im not a druggie a psycho nothing. I let my son go with his father becuase If the roles were reversed Id want him to let me have the chance to get to know him.0
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I was only talking in past tense becuase I was trying to explain my side of what was happening when I had him I still love him I love him so much it hurts. And my son is more important then any relationship id get rid of the man before i got rid of my kid. I just made a mistake and im paying for it. I guess I was hoping to get a little support mayb from someone here whos gone thru something similar. but all im getting for the most part is gee your a freaking lying dumba$$ And Im sorry if somehow I gave anyonre that impression. and They have my son home schooled so there is no way to just pick him up from school. Its like the boy is on lock down.
the reason people are thinking theres more to the story is because there HAS to be.
you simply cannot come on here, say your ex took your kid a year ago and wont give him back, and expect nothing but support.
you are coming off like an absolute lunatic.
let me see if im up to speed...
you had a child with someone you were in a relationship X number of years ago. you 2 broke up, and neither did anything as far as custody/obligations.
then at some point in 2012 (summer?) you let your child go visit his father for the summer with the understanding (verbal?) that the child would be returned in august.
at some point during this time, "they" started calling you demanding you drop the child support and getting nasty. it was then that you called the police. cops called him to find out wtf is up and he says hes bringing the kid back. he doesnt. the next event is that the father is going to file for full custody. you filed your own plan in dispute and arent getting much response.
when you tried thru legal services and got turned down, why did they turn you down?
you tried going to the home of the ex, and cant get near him?
edited to add 2 more questions:
how far along are you in your current pregnancy, and are you in a stable relationship?
do you work?
i think these are all questions that the legal system are taking into account when you are asking for full custody of your child.
Then you have to add that the fact that she knows that he is homeschooled. Which means he is home all day WHICH ALSO MEANS if she finds out their address, she can call the cops while she is waiting outside the house so she can at least see her kid. I dunno about other pregnant women but I am pretty convincing to cops to come out to a residence and have them play mediator.0 -
How old is he? We are asking to find out if the judge thinks he is old enough to decide where he wants to live.0
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Ive kept a job ive had him in head start im not a druggie a psycho nothing. I let my son go with his father becuase If the roles were reversed Id want him to let me have the chance to get to know him.
So why are you worried about the full custody thing? You show up, tell the judge your side and take your son home.0 -
bump.0
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Ive kept a job ive had him in head start im not a druggie a psycho nothing. I let my son go with his father becuase If the roles were reversed Id want him to let me have the chance to get to know him.
So why are you worried about the full custody thing? You show up, tell the judge your side and take your son home.
not if the father is providing a better living situation with a healthier environment.
i dont know what state(s) or country we're talking about here, but i'm not sure it's that cut and dry.0 -
Ive kept a job ive had him in head start im not a druggie a psycho nothing. I let my son go with his father becuase If the roles were reversed Id want him to let me have the chance to get to know him.
Well then just consider this a "rough patch" and you will prevail. Unsure why the places you went to for help would not represent you. Only you know that. You've been given some advice on places that are low cost to go. Fill in the rest with your own passion, love for your child and smarts. Stay unemotional during the key points of strategizing. That should be easy by the claims that you don't use drugs or have mental issues. The sheer fact of being a mother might make it hard but you MUST look at the big picture and consider yourself a STRONG mother if you mean to be in his life again. Be emotional when it's okay to be so. Now you know your opponent. NEVER forget that. Never underestimate him from this day on. Keep your mentality of feeling he deserves to see his child but never let your guard down again in the future since you now know he does not share that sentiment. You now know what his intentions are. NEVER forget that.0 -
If he filed for full custody, obviously you need to file for full custody as well. You don't need a lawyer for that and there is absolutely no reason that you will be turned down for trying to FILE. Go do that, ASAP if you want a chance at getting your son back.
As a mother, i'm a little (okay, a lot) baffled at you waiting this long or letting the process be dragged out for this long.0 -
Last time I witnessed something like this was with my ex-roomate. She's a "mother" but during her sons visit to Hawaii with his grandma, the grandma took full custody of her son. Roomie says it was kidnapping, I say it was the best thing grandma could have done for that kid. She was a piece of *kitten* mother and that child had no life out here.
So maybe theres a reason that child was taken?0 -
Ive kept a job ive had him in head start im not a druggie a psycho nothing. I let my son go with his father becuase If the roles were reversed Id want him to let me have the chance to get to know him.
So why are you worried about the full custody thing? You show up, tell the judge your side and take your son home.
not if the father is providing a better living situation with a healthier environment.
i dont know what state(s) or country we're talking about here, but i'm not sure it's that cut and dry.
No clue on state because she is vague as hell. And you're right but a judge can award 50/50 or full custody. She hasn't had the kid for a year. Right now, Dad is looking like he is doing something decent if he has someone (or himself) homeschooling the child and under care.0 -
The thing bothering me is that your son is a bit autistic and he is being home schooled -- is the school system aware of his autism and is the boy's father qualified to home school an autistic child? I know a couple who is "home schooling" their autistic son,( he's 7 yrs old), or so they say, & I think if the school ever visited them or whatever they do to check it out, they will take him away and put him in a foster home.
Just my thought on this. Maybe there is something in that respect that will help get your son back into your care. Good luck.0 -
Yes dad has remarried hes 28 the women is 50 somthing. He never had any interest in seeing our child till after he was married. the man has 4 other children hes trying to fight for with two other women. he origionally abandoned his children with his mother.0
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The thing bothering me is that your son is a bit autistic and he is being home schooled -- is the school system aware of his autism and is the boy's father qualified to home school an autistic child? I know a couple who is "home schooling" their autistic son,( he's 7 yrs old), or so they say, & I think if the school ever visited them or whatever they do to check it out, they will take him away and put him in a foster home.
Just my thought on this. Maybe there is something in that respect that will help get your son back into your care. Good luck.
If the kid can tell the mom that he does not want to be with her, he is not incoherent of his surroundings. Maybe he has Asperger's or maybe she just thinks he has autism. Again, so vague.0 -
were both in mt im in billings he is in ronan mt there on dif sides of the state. not trying to be vague really now.0
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Ive kept a job ive had him in head start im not a druggie a psycho nothing. I let my son go with his father becuase If the roles were reversed Id want him to let me have the chance to get to know him.
So why are you worried about the full custody thing? You show up, tell the judge your side and take your son home.
not if the father is providing a better living situation with a healthier environment.
i dont know what state(s) or country we're talking about here, but i'm not sure it's that cut and dry.
No clue on state because she is vague as hell. And you're right but a judge can award 50/50 or full custody. She hasn't had the kid for a year. Right now, Dad is looking like he is doing something decent if he has someone (or himself) homeschooling the child and under care.
i think we might be on the same page here.
i know a judge can award custody...i was just saying you were making it sound like all she has to do is show up, plead her case, and take her kid. my reply was saying theres no guarantee that *she* will be the one to walk away with the kid...especially if the father is providing a more stable situation (which is kinda what it sounds like with the information we "have")0 -
I keep writing stuff and deleting it because I don't want to kick you when you're down but holy hell it's hard.
I didn't have my son for a month and within the first couple days I had a lawyer, cops, and a judge on my speed-dial. If you were serious about getting your son back you wouldn't make some dumbass post on a forum you'd be sitting at a lawyers getting counselled. There are free programs to assist in this EXACT scenario and while they didn't work out for me they should be able to help you in some way.
If I write anymore I'm just going to say bad things so hopefully something above helped you.0 -
So can you not make a trip out there and call the cops when you are in front of his residency?were both in mt im in billings he is in ronan mt there on dif sides of the state. not trying to be vague really now.0 -
Yes dad has remarried hes 28 the women is 50 somthing. He never had any interest in seeing our child till after he was married. the man has 4 other children hes trying to fight for with two other women. he origionally abandoned his children with his mother.
you said "remarried"....you implied before that you two were never married, unless i got the wrong impression.0
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