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Forbidden vs not wanting

rybo
rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
in Debate Club
Does this simple change in semantics & mindset make a difference? You see so many people spouting that nothing is forbidden & no foods should be excluded. What if you simply choose not to eat something any longer because you just don't want to? Does the reason matter?
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Replies

  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    For me, knowing what my goals are helps me decide that I don't want to eat something and not longingly crave something. Does this food help me reach my goals (happiness and a feeling of satisfaction from eating is a goal as well as nutritional and weightloss/gain ones)? There's nothing I suppose that I'd consider completely forbidden, except anise or dill, because that crap is nasty.
  • ogtmama
    ogtmama Posts: 1,403 Member
    I think forbidding something often leads to not wanting it eventually.
  • fr33sia12
    fr33sia12 Posts: 1,258 Member
    I think there's definitely a difference. When someone says a food is forbidden from their diet automatically people comment saying you shouldn't forbid foods, that that's setting yourself up for failure and binging. I have cut foods from my diet because I want to, not because I think they're bad foods that will make me put on weight, but because I don't want to eat them anymore. I've never once craved any of the foods I cut out of my diet and am enjoying every meal I eat. I think forbidden foods are thought of as a punishment but that's only if you really want to eat that forbidden food, which I don't.
  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
    I didn't forbid anything, but I had a food allergy that I was trying to pinpoint and it turned out to be sulfates/sulfites. It turns out most boxed pasta has ferrous sulfate. I was never a huge pasta eater to begin with, but now I just don't touch any of it at all much to the chagrin of my Italian mother. Same with most bread products, low quality baked goods, pizza, etc. However, when I find any desserts or pizza without any sulfur derivatives, they're fair game.
  • jahillegas_51
    jahillegas_51 Posts: 143 Member
    Interesting question. I think the reason plays a key role. For example, I hate dark chocolate I think it tastes terrible. So not eating it anymore is a logical and sensible course to take.

    However, the slippery slope starts when we stop eating something because we believe its bad or will have adverse health effects. Foods in moderation will not kill you. Typically when categorizing food starts it grows because we view food as clean and dirty...

    Unfortunately, there is no such thing as good food, bad food. Placing labels on food, leads us to ban them from our intake. We say, “No, No, No, No, No…” We push for the perfect diet, once we eat this food that does not fall into this neat diet box; we throw our hands up, saying we failed so now is the time to eat everything we can. This leads to punishment. Which leads to more restrictions. This is the vicious cycle we as binge eaters face. I used to believe it myself, that there was clean food and bad food. It simply is this manifested idea. If you ask a vegan, he/she will say animal based foods are not clean. Someone who is a vegetarian will disagree, and say it is just animal products that are not clean. Then a paleo guy runs in screaming about how meat is clean, but grains aren’t. So someone has to be right? They are all wrong. Instead, adopt my grandmother’s wise old adage of “everything in moderation.” AKA IIFYM:)

    When we eat these bad foods, its often called a cheat. These start off as innocent, but over time as the restricting continues the tendencies and chances of these cheat meals turning into binges to get your fix grows. These "cheats" become that one window of time to get your fill of everything you banned yourself to eat.

    I would much rather eat a piece of cake a day and not binge, than eat a whole cake in one cheat.

    What foods are you thinking about no longer eating and why?
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    eveandqsmom wrote: »
    I think forbidding something often leads to not wanting it eventually.

    I'm the opposite of this. Forbidding something is a surefire way to make me thumb my nose at the "rules" and go have that thing.
  • endlessfall16
    endlessfall16 Posts: 932 Member
    I think in a free country like the US, "forbidding foods" is something that's nonexistent. Very strange premise to begin with.
  • tlflag1620
    tlflag1620 Posts: 1,358 Member
    I think a lot of it has to do with personality - some people (a few have chimed in already) get the whole "forbidden fruit" thing going on if they try to cut out certain foods. They dwell on it, obsess about it, hyper focus on it, until finally they give in, which wouldn't be so bad, but if it results in binging on said food or giving up altogether because of the irrational, but common nonetheless, mindset that if you slip up even once, you "failed" and might as well stop trying. Others find having some basic rules and structure more helpful than just saying "anything goes so long as I'm within my calories." Telling themselves that they don't eat certain foods (whether they have a hard time fitting them into calories, or they find those foods unsatisfying, or whatever) makes it easier to stay on plan. They know that these "rules" are self imposed, and so there is nothing to "rebel" against, and if push came to shove and they really wanted something, they are grown people and can make an exception (if you set the rules, you get to make the exceptions!).

    Both groups really end up doing the same thing, when it comes down to it - even the people who don't forbid food will end up limiting the amount, and quite often the frequency of certain things, even though they don't call it "forbidding". And those who forbid certain things, if they are successful in the long term, will end up occasionally indulging in some of those "forbidden" items. I think it boils down to whatever mental gymnastics help you feel better about what you are doing.
  • sashayoung72
    sashayoung72 Posts: 441 Member
    I personally chose to not eat certain things so I can reach my goal quicker plus I know that I will have more calories at maintenance. I also don't bring certain foods into the house like say ice cream, because i feel powerless to the draw BUT if i'm out and want 1 cone it works better for me.
  • GaleHawkins
    GaleHawkins Posts: 8,160 Member
    kgeyser wrote: »
    I think changing mindset can be helpful to an individual, whatever that change needs to be to get them to their goal.

    I think arguing the semantics only serves people who want to argue about something.

    Great points.

    It was not until I decided never to diet again after 40 years of yo yo'ing weight that I have been successful at losing weight and keeping it off (60 pounds for a year now) and was over 250 two years ago.

    Oct 2014 I decided to eat in away that perhaps would permit to recover from some major health issues. All foods that prove to improve my health are what I want to eat now. Sure I still remember the banana splits from Dairy Queen but it has been nearly two years since my brain made me pull into DQ and walk up to the ordering window. :)

    It seems what to eat is nothing more than a decision by a person. It is kind of like marriage. Where one runs around on the spouse or not is just a final and non debatable decision. Some say running around in moderation is OK. When everything in life is optional every day it can make for a messy life I have observed.

    In the end if we find a spouse or way of eating that works for us that works to make our life better then we are winners in my view. A premature death from the wrong diet or spouse is a bad thing but it happens all of the time.

    Self talk does make a difference in life.

    I am not saying one needs a spouse to be happy or too loose weight. It is just an example of some things in life that just require a long term commitment. :)
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 4,966 Member
    For me forbidding foods makes me think about them and want them a lot. So I am one who doesn't forbid or restrict anything except calories. But there are lots of things that I don't eat often because I don't want them. I don't want them because they are too expensive and I don't want to waste my limited number of calories on foods that will leave me hungry later. But sometimes I do waste my calories and I don't feel guilty about it because I'm not wasting them on something "forbidden". Maybe it is just semantics, but that's what works for me.
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    I do think mindset makes a difference but what that means specifically can be different for different people.

    In the past I've attempted to cut out certain foods but with a mindset of "Ugh, I can't have ____, but I want it. This sucks. I hate this. I can't wait until this is over." Every time I ended up find some excuse to have whatever that thing was. Right now I am cutting out many things but with a mindset of "This is what I am doing because I want to see what the benefits are. Period. No excuses. Don't bother thinking about it and debating what to do." It's made it pretty easy. Instead of constantly thinking "Can I have this? Should I? Did I work out enough? How many calories do I have left?" everything is a simple "Can I have this? Yes or no." Taking the debate out of the matter has helped SO much. It also helps to think of what I CAN have instead of what I can't. I never say "that food is forbidden! It's evil!" Instead I say "Eh, it's not on my current plan."

    The same thing works for me with working out. If I debate what I want (wanting to work out because it's healthy versus wanting to go home because I'm lazy) I will almost always choose going home even though I know it's not the best decision. But if I COMMIT and tell myself "It doesn't matter what you want right now. You said you were going to work out so that's what you're going to do" it's easy to get to the gym.

    I'm not saying this works for everyone or that everyone should think this way. This is simply what works for me right now. In the past I've always believed "everything in moderation" and that is my long-term goal. But right now, I'm following a pretty limited plan (for various reasons, not just weight loss, so please don't judge) and choosing not to dwell on what I'm "missing" has been key.

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