How can I motivate my boyfriend to workout with me?

girlalmighty08
girlalmighty08 Posts: 130 Member
edited December 2 in Fitness and Exercise
My boyfriend and I haven't been together for very long but in the time we have spent together I've found that my workouts have slipped a bit, mostly because I've been prioritizing my time with him over my gym time. I don't want this to continue because working out is a very important part of my life and I don't want to lose that. My boyfriend is very "sporty" but in terms of "healthy", well, let's just say he'd rather eat a burger and have a few beers after a slo-pitch game as opposed to going for a run. I'd really love to find a way to include him in my workouts as I think it would be something fun for us to do together, and I also think it would have benefits for him as well. I don't want to come across as "naggy" or that I'm trying to "change" him though... any advice on how to broach this subject?
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Replies

  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    If the relationship is new, it's normal for you to want to prioritize time together over your gym time. That will fade in time, don't think it's forever. But you want to be aware of any patterns you might be establishing.

    Probably, your boyfriend isn't going to start going to the gym because you think it would be a good idea for him. If he thinks it's a good idea, he'll do it. Maybe you can convince him it will help with his sporting goals. Or get him laid, like dendahlj suggests.

    Beth started doing strength training with me because, well, she knows it's good for her, because I do it at home, and because it brings us a little bit closer together. It took a long time before she wanted to join me though.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    girlalmighty08 wrote: »
    My boyfriend and I haven't been together for very long but in the time we have spent together I've found that my workouts have slipped a bit, mostly because I've been prioritizing my time with him over my gym time. I don't want this to continue because working out is a very important part of my life and I don't want to lose that. My boyfriend is very "sporty" but in terms of "healthy", well, let's just say he'd rather eat a burger and have a few beers after a slo-pitch game as opposed to going for a run. I'd really love to find a way to include him in my workouts as I think it would be something fun for us to do together, and I also think it would have benefits for him as well. I don't want to come across as "naggy" or that I'm trying to "change" him though... any advice on how to broach this subject?
    I found the problem. Time to turn the tides back.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    kendahlj wrote: »
    Bribe him with sex.

    Or use teh sex as teh workout.
  • Erfw7471
    Erfw7471 Posts: 242 Member
    girlalmighty08 wrote: »
    My boyfriend and I haven't been together for very long but in the time we have spent together I've found that my workouts have slipped a bit, mostly because I've been prioritizing my time with him over my gym time. I don't want this to continue because working out is a very important part of my life and I don't want to lose that. My boyfriend is very "sporty" but in terms of "healthy", well, let's just say he'd rather eat a burger and have a few beers after a slo-pitch game as opposed to going for a run. I'd really love to find a way to include him in my workouts as I think it would be something fun for us to do together, and I also think it would have benefits for him as well. I don't want to come across as "naggy" or that I'm trying to "change" him though... any advice on how to broach this subject?

    Have you asked him if that would be fun for him? Would he want to do your workouts? If he's not interested then you need to just do you and maybe by your example he may eventually join in. Just ask him.

    My husband has absolutely no interest whatsoever fitness-wise in doing what I do when I do it. And that's ok, we have other like interests that we share together.
  • ARGriffy
    ARGriffy Posts: 1,002 Member
    kendahlj wrote: »
    Bribe him with sex.

    pretty on the nose, but there are serious things to be taken from this line! Blokes like sex yes? Blokes like to have a girl they find attractive with them yes? lots of guys really enjoy watching their partner engaging beast mode at the gym! Maybe play a little sexy at it, put some playful sexual competition or something? I know, we shouldn't pander to men, and you don't need to of course but it's a way of sparking his interest in the first instance to get a routine formed together of working out together maybe. It can be fun to find new hobbies as a couple when first together too!
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    edited June 2016
    Leave him alone. He probably knows that he doesn't workout much and bringing it up will just make him feel even worse about himself. This needs to be something that he wants to do. Just love him for who he is.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Good for you for recognizing early on that you need balance. The early stages of a relationship is fun, but don't neglect yourself. I'd say get back to your usual workout schedule, let me know what that schedule is and tell him you want to still spend as much time as you can with him so he's welcome to join you. But, if he declines that's okay, too. Just do your schedule and you can find other times to be together.

    This! Get back on your schedule, casually invite him along every once and awhile. You can't make someone want to do something.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    My dh started exercising with me but I did it alone for 1 1/2 year. He wanted to join me in what I do so we walk or do short workout videos off of you tube.


    Talk to him. Tell him you'd like to do something together. Ask if there is an activity he would like to try- maybe something you don't normally do. He may not want to spend time in a gym. Dancing, hiking, horseback riding, tennis, biking, running races, swimming, etc may be more appealing.
  • BlueberryWatermelon
    BlueberryWatermelon Posts: 73 Member
    samanthaluangphixay wrote: »
    What about active dates such as hiking or kayaking? It's just you two....time to talk and connect...while also learning how to work together (kayaking) and you are exercising as well.

    This is what I do with my fiancé. He likes biking, so on our days off, we'll go for a nice long bike ride together. Is there a sport or activity you two can do together?
  • JoshuaMcAllister
    JoshuaMcAllister Posts: 500 Member
    With a pair of sexy yoga pants?
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    Part of a balanced healthy relationship is compromise. You have to respect the fact that he doesn't want to exercise in the gym like you do and you and he has to respect the fact that you do want to exercise. Speaking from a guy's perspective the last thing he wants is a girlfriend who nags.

    The best thing is communication. Ask him if he really wants to go to the gym and find out why or why not. If he doesn't want to go, go by yourself nothing wrong with that in a relationship.
  • heatherheyns
    heatherheyns Posts: 144 Member
    Honestly, it's okay to do things apart. If you are giving up things you enjoy to fit onto his life, maybe you should focus on keeping the things you like rather than just spending that time with him. If he wants to join in, je will. You can always give a standing offer, but otherwise I'd suggest getting back on your schedule. When a relationship starts it can be tempting, especially for women, to drop everything they enjoy an spend all their time with the new boyfriend. That usually isn't healthy and doesn't last long term. I'd suggest keeping your own hobbies.
  • lenoresdream
    lenoresdream Posts: 522 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Good for you for recognizing early on that you need balance. The early stages of a relationship is fun, but don't neglect yourself. I'd say get back to your usual workout schedule, let me know what that schedule is and tell him you want to still spend as much time as you can with him so he's welcome to join you. But, if he declines that's okay, too. Just do your schedule and you can find other times to be together.

    THIS ^^^^

  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
    If he wanted to work out in a gym he would have been doing it before you met. Go ahead and do your thing.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    Just do your workout. Why does he need to workout with you? I've dated a guy who started lifting after I did, then he quit...and that actually disappointed me, but I never expected him to work out with me and I never expected him to change his eating for me. Now I'm dating a guy who DOES lift, but he also plays basketball, weighs 50 more pounds than me, and can eat twice as much to maintain his weight. I don't expect him to lift with me (plus he body builds and I prefer power lifting), and if he wants to order a burrito and all I can afford is shrimp on some dang lettuce...I will enjoy that dinner with HIM, while he enjoys his food and I am happy knowing I'm staying on track.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    Alternatively how could your boyfriend motivate you to be more sporty, eat a burger, have a few beers after a game of slo-pitch?

    Tip from someone who has just celebrated 33 years married - you can and should make room for your own interests within a successful relationship. It would be really dull if you always did the same things and thought the same way.

    Agreed (from an 18 yrs married lady.)
  • RosieRose7673
    RosieRose7673 Posts: 438 Member
    My boyfriend doesn't lift. I do.

    So what. He doesn't want to. He's already active at his job.

    Lifting is my hobby. He loves snowboarding. We do other things together and it works just fine.
  • cgvet37
    cgvet37 Posts: 1,189 Member
    Not to sound selfish, but sometimes you have to come first. I don't know how long or how often you exercise, but it it really that much time away from your boyfriend? I'm not saying you should not compromise. However, the only thing that is going to keep me out of the gyn is injury or a family emergency.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    When my OH and I first got together he tried to interest me in golf, but I quickly realized that if I wanted to get decent at it I'd need to commit more time than I was willing and he realized I was terrible. So he golfs, and I garden.

    We have a fairly regular date schedule and my gym schedule works well into that. I'm going to keep to that once we move in together.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
    1. realize that he may NEVER want to work out with you. 2. ask him to bike ride, walk a museum, around town, etc with you and be happy.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    No one likes the Exercise Police.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited July 2016
    You can't...

    Personally, I'd just get back to my regular training schedule...for me it's just like work or anything else.

    Beyond that, maybe throw in some active dates or something. My wife and I don't workout together...we're both into fitness, but we enjoy different things and have different goals...but we do occasionally go on a date ride or hiking. Honestly, my wife and I used to go to the gym together and it was kind of annoying...I'd try to correct her form or something and then she'd just get all pissy and think I was being a dick...it's much better this way...I like doing my own thing and it's my ME time.

    I also enjoy grilling a burger and having a beer...I don't really see that being unhealthy.
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